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If I Don't, May God Have Mercy on Your Souls

(the road is closed for Chinese New Year parade)
Bus driver
: Folks, we'll be alright. We're going to take a right on Sansome, a left on Broadway, and a left on Stockton. We'll rejoin the original route at Stockton and Sacramento. Don't worry. Everything will be alright. As long as I still get paid, it's okay.


San Francisco, California


Categories: Bus | Default | Feelings | Jobs & Careers | Money | Public Transportation | San Francisco | Threats | Posted 2008-06-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Their Lips Say "Shut Up" But Their Eyes Say "Play On!"

Young woman, after graphic conversation about sex and drugs: Do you ever think, while we're talking: "Wow, the people on the train are so lucky to get to listen to us on their morning commute!"?
Older woman: Oh my god, all the time.

Train
Sydney
Australia


Overheard by: catherine


Categories: Australia | Compliments | Default | Old folks | Pride | Public Transportation | Questions | Train | Women | Posted 2008-06-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Smart Travelers Postpone That Recognition As Long As Possible

Pilot over loudspeaker: It's 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to... Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!

Flight over Pennsylvania

Overheard by: And he's flying this plane?

Jesus Was to Vex Mary His Entire Life

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there's people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

A Mom Can Dream, Can't She?

Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it's okay. I'm being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you're going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!

Pullman, Washington

Overheard by: jeff

As Soon As We Get On, I'm Grabbing a Pole and Ripping Them Off

Chick: Well, my mom wouldn't let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.

Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado

Try Not to Taste or Touch Them, Okay?

Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!

Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: Dawn

Mango: Nobody Touch Me!

Lady on PA system: United 119 passengers can claim their baggage at carousel D... D as in delicious. Delicious mango. Delicious, delicious mangoes.

Logan International Airport
Boston, Massachusetts


Overheard by: John Y

Just Yell "Let's Go, Yankees" Instead

Conductor: The worst thing that you can do in an emergency is to pull the emergency cord. Never pull the emergency cord if it is an emergency!

Boston subway
Boston, Massachusetts


Overheard by: daily commuter


Categories: Advice | Conductors | Default | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-03-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Rosa Parks Was Calling Out, "C'mon Back!"

Woman on cell: Bitch, I'm on the train. No, I ain't ridin' the bus! Have you seen the buses in this city?! Girl I wouldn't get on the bus if fucking Harriet Tubman herself was waving a damn flashlight telling me, 'All clear'!

On the Red Line
Chicago, Illinois

Embrace Your Degradation

Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don't gotta be embarrassed if you're going to Newark.

Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania