Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Pride All Categories > Topics > Pride
Recent | Best Of
Even If You Do Look Adorable in Communist Colors
Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff...
University of Central Florida
Overheard by: Michelle
...Bowser
Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh... That's nice...
Australia
Can't Talk. Orgasming.
Girl hottie: Do they give out medals for chronic female masturbators? Because if so... (points to self with thumbs) Super star. I'm talking gold medal, national treasure.
Guy hottie: You're not deterring me! We're getting turkey bacon!
Wegmans
New York
Overheard by: Bronze Medalist
You Haven't Lived 'Til You've Seen Me Applaud with Them.
Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skeptically: I guess they're nice...
Cute girl: No, really. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup buddies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they'd each been converted to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skeptical: That may just mean your ass isn't great.
Cute girl: Damn, you're so cup-half-empty. My ass is great. My tits are just phenomenal.
Manhattan, New York
...I Don't Have Enough Energy to Go Look It Up.
Mother: Honey, you're not lazy.
Four-year-old son: Yes, I am!
Father, smiling: No, you're not.
Four-year-old son: I am! I am lazy! What does "lazy" mean?
Coral Gables, Miami
...With a Hatred Of Great Strengthiness
Girl: You know, I'm usually a very wise person. Recently, with my situation, I lost a lot of my wiseness, but this trip has brought back that wiseness.
Boy: So, your wiseness never informed you it was called "wisdom"?
Girl: I hate you.
Banora Point High School
Australia
Presenting This Year's Sweetest Rejection
Tall Hispanic woman to one-legged Hispanic man in wheelchair: Nigga, I get with you, I have triplets--got that supersperm!
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: chuck
Categories: Florida | Latinas | Pride | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2011-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Read Your Bible
Drama teacher to girls playing whores in Les Misérables: Come on ladies, skank it up! There's no shame in being a whore!
High School
Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Categories: Pride | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Teachers | Utah | Posted 2010-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Should We Really Drink to That?
Girl to friend: I'm not an alcoholic.
Friend: I'm not an alcoholic, either.
Girl: Cheers to us not being alcoholics!
Austin, Texas
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Girls | Pride | Texas | Posted 2010-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted to Lumps
Very pregnant woman surrounded by misbehaving children: Pregnancy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more complete when I'm pregnant. Knowing that I'm growing this life...
Young woman behind her in line, interrupting: Madam? You are a walking advertisement for mandatory birth control.
Starbucks
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The guy applauding her
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Happiness | Kids | Preggers | Pregnancy | Pride | Washington | Posted 2010-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Need My Face for Other Things
Flamboyant grad student, on ice skating: I went years ago... and fell flat on my face. Then I decided that I was too important for this!
Oxford
England
Categories: Body parts | Bragging | Compare and contrast | England | Leisure | Pride | Students | Posted 2010-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only in the Holodeck, Though.
Proud girl: Ever since I gave up drinking, I have been drinking so much wine.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Girls | Illinois | Pride | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Physics Project Is Gonna Get Us an "A" for Sure!
College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn't.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a lil.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Frat boy types | Happiness | Overheard in Minneapolis | Penis | Pride | Posted 2008-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nature: 2 Nurture: 0
Teen Boy Scout (after narrowly avoiding tripping): And that's why I'm so good at swing dancing. I have hips like an angel.
Amtrack
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Duckie
Categories: Body parts | Bragging | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Dancing | Default | Illinois | Pride | Teens | Posted 2008-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...in Exchange for Cooking Lessons
Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the French how to play rugby.
London
England
Overheard by: kat
Categories: Conductors | Default | England | Geography | Offers and requests | Pride | Public Transportation | Train | Posted 2008-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Giuliani As a Kid
Girl: My mom is never going to let me go on a field trip again.
Boy #1: Why?
Girl: I left my jacket at the museum.
Boy #2: Wanna know what I left at the museum? My dignity. My dignity and my pride.
BART
San Francisco, California
So What Else Ya Got?
Spoiled nine-year-old: People only love me for my stuff.
Day Care
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: amused
This Suddenly Turned Into a Whole Different Kind Of Tournament
Girl on cell: I just took off my bra to make weight. Dignity? Gone.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Competition
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Clothing | Default | Girls | New Jersey | Pride | Posted 2008-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Kind of Unloaded on Us, If You Follow Me
Religious nut: Go back to the kitchen!
Gay girl #1: We do it in the kitchen!
Gay girl #2: Oh yeah. That's the day we realized our dishwasher had wheels.
Pride Parade
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Cade
Categories: Default | Girls | Insults | Lesbos | New Mexico | Pride | Religious fanatics | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially with This Little Pink Bow
Three-year-old boy to grandfather: Do you have a penis?
Grandfather: Yes, I do.
Boy: I have a penis, too. My penis is small. My penis is cute.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Vejewsbian
The Professor Appreciated the Eight-Sided Paper
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Default | Education | Friends | Games | Philosophy | Pride | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Olive Oyl's Been Dating Popeye for a Long Time
Hipster chick: I am who I am and that's what I like about me, but it keeps getting me into these shitty situations.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | Hipsters | Pennsylvania | Pride | Posted 2008-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Their Lips Say "Shut Up" But Their Eyes Say "Play On!"
Young woman, after graphic conversation about sex and drugs: Do you ever think, while we're talking: "Wow, the people on the train are so lucky to get to listen to us on their morning commute!"?
Older woman: Oh my god, all the time.
Train
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: catherine
Categories: Australia | Compliments | Default | Old folks | Pride | Public Transportation | Questions | Train | Women | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus We'd Have to Be Open and Honest About Our Feelings
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I'm so glad you two aren't black! Then I'd have to put all those little beads in your hair and--well I'm just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Dude, You Suck at the Dozens
Young thug #1: Your momma is a rat.
Young thug #2: At least she isn't a hood rat like your momma.
Young thug #1: Well at least everyone who is with my momma has a good time. I should know, I hear it.
Galleria
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: annoying blonde girl
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Insults | New York | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Posted 2008-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Day James Stopped Doing Positive Affirmations
20-something guy: My testicles are perfect!
Friends: [Silence.]
50-something lady walking past: [Snicker.]
Cork
Ireland
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Balls | Compliments | Default | Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Pride | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Poopyheads Have Already Exhausted Their Five Minutes of Fame
College girl: There, I've belittled and insulted The View without using the word "bitch" or the c-word.
Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: ...and that itself is a feat
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Etiquette | Insults | New Jersey | Pride | Sorority types | TV shows | Words | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have to Earn the Right to Stay in Paradise, Pal
Guido: Dude, I think your girlfriend is going to dump you. You fell off your chair inside and you punched me in the ribs twice when I got up to go to the bathroom.
Drunk Guido: No, she can't dump me. She lets me put it in her ass!
Outside Restuarant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Drunks | Guys | Maryland | Pride | Relationships | Restaurants | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Appreciate Your Candor
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain't gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Categories: Bragging | California | Compliments | Etiquette | Offers and requests | Penis | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Words | Posted 2008-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Canadian Ice Cream Is Not for the Faint of Heart
Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It's not made out of cat.
Ontario
Canadia
To Recap: I Rock, You Suck for Money, I Get Laid for Free
Ex-husband: I can't believe you brought a date to our divorce hearing.
Ex-wife: Fuck you! You hooked up with a girl in court.
Ex-husband: I didn't "hook-up" with her, we made plans for lunch today.
Ex-wife: And that's better?
Ex-husband: Actually, it's quite impressive. I rock, you suck, I'm getting laid tonight.
Ex-wife: I got laid last night.
Ex-husband: That's because you are a dirty hooker.
San Diego Family Court
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sean
Categories: Bragging | California | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Guys | Insults | Pride | Relationships | Sex | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dad's the Best Gas-Release Coach in the Midwest
Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.
Glendale Heights, Illinois
Overheard by: rbmmom
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Dads | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Illinois | Kids | Offers and requests | Pride | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Non-Fucking Whorehouses Are Pretty Much Libraries
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I'm in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Categories: Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Etiquette | Pride | Teachers | Virginia | Women | Words | Posted 2008-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Projecting onto My Kids Seems to Help
Honest soccer mom: I'm really trying to get into the whole body-acceptance thing, but I just can't get past how disgusting it is.
Westchester County, New York
When I Think about You, I Smell Myself
Dirty hippy skater dude: Oh man! I can smell myself.
Dirty hippy skater girl: I love it when I can smell myself!
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Categories: Cleanliness | Etiquette | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Hippies | Pride | San Francisco | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course My Anal Probes Are Constantly Interrupted by Ads
Freak in furry pants and top hat, to fellow freak: You're the friendster of alien abduction services, and I'm the myspace: You did it first, but I did it better.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: LeeKelly
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Guys | MySpace | Pride | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One of the Perks of Dating Helen Keller
Smug TA: While I was with her I was doing crack. She had no idea.
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Druggies | Drugs | Guys | Lies | Pride | Relationships | Students | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In L.A., Teenage Girls Who Don't Look Good Naked Are Put to Death
Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy's myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn't.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I'd look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that's just a fact. It doesn't mean he likes you.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Beauty | Bragging | California | Comebacks | Compliments | Friends | Girls | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As I Have Noticed Your Lack of Training Wheels
Drunk girl in bar to bartender: You should be so lucky as to have sex with me.
Bartender: I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: warm ups?
Using a Venus Razor Does Not Make You a Goddess, Ms. Pratt
English teacher: It's a big responsibility to be a goddess, it troubles me all the time.
A.C. Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Bragging | Default | Gripes | Pride | Religion | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Women | Posted 2008-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does Your Violin Bow Double As a Crowbar?
Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!
Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas
At Least He's Stopped Talking About His Turds.
Bitter guy: Girls don't care about men, so I can't relate to them. And men only care about sports, food, video games, and women. I do like to eat, but I hate women. I don't like sports at all, and I'm soooo good at video games that other people can't play with me because I am just too awesome.
Girl sitting at the table with him: Yeah...
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Etiquette | Feelings | Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Idiots | Massachusetts | Pride | Sexuality | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mom's Been Forcing Her to Watch Seventh Heaven, to No Avail
Goth girl: I'm so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you're turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Whatever You Say, Latonya
Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother's birthday is tomorrow. He's Aryan.
Wal-Mart
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Jeff
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Default | Family ties | On the phone | Pride | Race | Stores | Stupidity | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Didn't Work Out
Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: inthecoolsection
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Pride | Students | Posted 2007-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah? Depends.
Hubby to wifey: No power on earth will make me wear a diaper.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Overheard by: Jessie
Categories: Hubbies | Overheard in Utah | Pride | Posted 2007-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
