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Herman Cain's a Busy Man These Days
Guy in tire store uniform: I don't have time to walk through this whole store. Just point me to the scooters and the black barbies.
Toys "R" Us
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: got got got no time either
Categories: Employees | Florida | Time Management | Toys | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Wouldn't Miss the Creepy, Animatronic Way in Which He Solicited Your "Friendship"?
20-something guy to friends: Yeah, I had a Teddy Ruxpin and I loved it but it made me feel sorta weird having it in my room and stuff, so I sold it on eBay. I regretted it instantly.
Atlanta, Georgia
If Charles Dickens Had Gone to College in Florida
Girl: It was a land of chocolate and a land of Lego. It was glorious.
Random guy, walking by: Glorious!
University of Central Florida
Teenage Boys Live in Fear That Gayness Will Stage a Surprise Attack
Boy holding slinky: I feel weird.
Boy holding other end: It's okay. We've got a slinky!
High School
Eugene, Oregon
...So I'm Afraid I'll Have to Decline Your Offer.
Macy's sales clerk: Now this cologne is $19.99 for the large bottle and comes with the free teddy bear.
Large woman spilling out of leopard-print tube top, sniffing: This is nice... It's real classy smelling.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: I don't discriminate; I hate everybody.
Categories: Customers | Employees | Fat people | Sensory experiences | Shopping | Toys | Virginia | Posted 2010-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Want Me to Divorce You, Too?
Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um... no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!
Salem, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jenna
Categories: Family ties | Kids | Moms | Money | New Hampshire | Parenting | Questions | Shopping | Should have used a condom | Toys | Posted 2010-01-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Still Have That Restraining Order Against the Koosh Kins
Man to wife: You can bring the Beanie Babies if you really want.
Brighton
England
Overheard by: Randy
Kids Start Disappointing You As Soon As They Possibly Can
Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!
Toy Store
Canadia
Clustered Around the Mayonnaise and Wonder Bread
Aunt: Jared*, put the toy back. We are going to go over to K-Mart, because they have a better selection.
Four-year-old: I don't want to go to K-Mart, auntie! There's too many white people over there!
Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: His (embarassed) Mother
I Promise the Social Worker Isn't Watching
Oblivious 12-year-old in pool, surrounded by floaty toys: Hey, hold my noodle while I mount this whale.
Victoria
Canadia
Meet Debate Club Barbie
Idiot girl #1: Well, like, Brad is like one of your favorite toys, so you wanna play with him a lot. But Adam is like your most favorite toy, so you wanna play with him all the time! So when Ashley wants to play with him you're all, "Bitch, drop it!"
Idiot girl #2: That is the best analogy.
Guelph
Canadia
Your Editors Are on Irony Overload
Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.
University
San Francisco, California
Categories: Colleges & Universities | On the phone | Questions | San Francisco | Stupidity | Thugs | Toys | Posted 2009-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Get Your Velma Over Here and Let's Party.
Man on cell, about his genitals: Yeah, it's shaped up like a 'fro on a Scooby Doo Chia Pet.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Balls | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Hair | On the phone | TV shows | Toys | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kid Surprises Are Fun, but Illegal
Woman #1, approaching register counter: Ooh! Kinder eggs! I love those things!
Woman #2: What are they?
Woman #1: They're chocolate! With something inside!
Cashier: They're hollow chocolate eggs.
Woman #1: With a surprise inside!
Woman #2: Ew!
Cashier: It's a toy.
Woman #2: Oh. A toy.
Cashier: Whoa, okay, just imagine you were a kid again, and what a surprise meant when you were a kid.
Woman #2: I know... I know. It's just, adult surprises are never fun.
Woman #1, walking out of store: What were you thinking it was going to be? A penis that would squirt all over you?
Woman #2: You never know! Adult surprises are always bad!
San Francisco, California
...Just on That Lady's Shoes.
Overexcited boy in cafe: Mum, mum, mum! Can I play with my new toy? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Disinterested mum: Sure.
Overexcited boy, holding toy: Look! I'm holding my winkle. And I'm peeing. I'm peeing all over the drinks. There's wee everywhere!
Disinterested mum: No, there isn't.
Kingston-Upon-Thames
England
Overheard by: Ben
Categories: Drinking & drunks | England | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Parenting | Pee | Should have used a condom | Toys | Posted 2009-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Require a Cute, Brightly-Colored Ark.
Little old lady, yelling to friend across the store: The world is flooded with Beanie Babies!
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Embarassed at how loud my friend laughed before walking away
Since I Dispensed with My Beehive Hairdo
Female salesperson: I keep all my secrets in my Furby!
Toy Store
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: i keep mine in tupperware
That Pretty Much Sums Up My Whole Spring Break
College girl: So, I was giving this guy a blowjob and a guy with a water gun walked by...
University of Evansville, Indiana
Now Finish Your Pop Rocks and Soda, and Let's Go Home
12-year-old girl to younger sibling: Every time you buy a Barbie they give money to the abortion place to give someone like a scholarship for an abortion. Every time you touch a barbie, it's like touching an abortion.
Toy Store
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i now want to touch a barbie
But Play-Doh, If Eaten, Can Become Poop
Mom to four-year-old's horrified babysitter: Poop is not play-doh. That's the lesson we learned today.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Kids | Moms | Pennsylvania | Poop | Toys | Posted 2008-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How About a Koosh Hug?
Teen (brandishing Nerf gun): I'm gonna get you! Here I come! I'm gonna shoot you right in the mouth!
Small boy: Noooo! No more Nerf kisses!
Simi Valley, California
Overheard by: the mster
And Can You Wear Your Leather Pants Again?
(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I'm gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
Well He Is Pretty Ripped
Three-year-old boy, pulling action figure out of a box of toys, whispering: I love you, He-Man. (louder) I love you, He-Man! (at the top of his little lungs) I love you, He-Man!
Monarc Thrift Shop
Red Bank, New Jersey
Overheard by: klutch
Maybe Just Take It to a George Clooney Movie
Girl on cell: We're going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: K
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | On the phone | San Francisco | Toys | Vagina | Words | Posted 2008-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Gay Best Friends Were Invented
[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore's ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]
Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.
Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joan
Categories: About celebrities | Default | Friends | Gender issues | Guys | Happiness | Illinois | Toys | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Hoochie-Skipper.
20-something in pink heels, on a Saturday afternoon: God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Feelings | Toys | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might Have Something to Do with Money
Chick looking at Bratz dolls: What happened to Barbie? Who are these people? Why are they trying to sell my five-year-old sister a doll that looks like a prostitute?
Target
Mount Vernon, New York
