Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics | Pop culture

Later, They'd Vomit Up Quarters

Drunk girl #1: I'm Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I'm Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)

Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado

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Like Kathy Griffin

Boy: So, if you're afraid of the leprechaun from that one movie, does that mean you're afraid of the lucky charm leprechaun too?
Girl: No, no, no. I'm only afraid of the *real* ones.

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: Amused

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But They Look Fantastic the Whole Time

Professor: The Swedes. They look at the glaciers, go inside, watch a Bergman film, have a heavy drink, then have some sex in the sauna, but ultimately that is unsatisfying, so they kill themselves.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

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He'd Still Have the Use of Both Hands

Guy, to friend: And so I said to him: "If you'd never seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon your life would be so different right now."

Bus
Coventry
England

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I Mean, I Gotta Get My Orgasm Somewhere, Right?

Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn't get it up, so we just watched Schindler's List instead.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

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Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!

[Family looking at a Golden Compass poster.]
Mom: Oooh! The new Narnia movie!
Dad: Did you know the polar bear is Jesus?

Great Escape Theater
Illinois

Overheard by: The Surly Usher

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I Guess I Never Really Thought of Simba in Those Terms

Girl #1: Even when I was a little kid I knew it was Christian propaganda. I was like, "Hey, this lion is Jesus!"
Girl #2: That was great, say it again.
Girl #1: This lion is Jesus!

AMC Century City

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That's What You Said During Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Random kid: Oh god! This is going to turn into a pregnancy fetish porno.

While seeing Juno
Peabody, Massachusetts

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Not Even in Back Bay?

Guy: Yeah, it's like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it's called, like... Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don't even have those in Boston.

Diner
St. Louis, Missouri

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If the Tagline Isn't "Gotta Fuck Them All" Then Someon Made a Mistake

Girl: The first Pokemon movie was really sad.
Guy #1: Oh, yeah! It made me cry.
Girl: I couldn't believe when Pikachu almost died...
Guy #2: Have you guys seen Pokemon porn?
Girl: Okay, let's just stop right there.
Guy #2: No, it's crazy. You know Misty? She'll do like anything!

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

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True That

Dude: "I am Legend"? God, learn to grammar.

High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado

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And Button Up Your Pants, Sweetie

Little girl: I love you, pole.
[She kisses the pole.]
Father: Don't kiss the pole! Keep it rated G!

Outside a Dim Sum Shop
Alameda, California

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For One Thing, He Looks Less Like a Gay Man

[Beauty & the Beast sing-a-long.]
Drunk girl: Is it just me... or is the beast-beast hotter than the human beast?

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

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Might Want to Start Off with "I'm Straight."

Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can't tell her! I've kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she'll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don't like musicals?!

Bruin Walk, UCLA
California

Overheard by: if that's the worst thing in your relationship...

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Why Is It Putting on a Dress and Heels?

Guy in crowd evacuated from theater due to fire alarm: This is all a marketing trick... Just watch -- any minute now one of those fire trucks is going to transform!

Transformers showing, AMC Theatre
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: JoBell

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And Megatron Is Totally My Ex-Girlfriend!

Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there's just so much symbolism in that movie -- take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He's, like, Everyman!

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I never thought of it that way

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Meet the Last Kid in the U.S. Who Says "Making Love"

Kid in cafeteria: Yeah, that was the night we watched Shrek and made love for the first time.

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Cammie

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I Eagerly Await the Arrival of Your Point

Club guy: You asked him if he has ever seen Dances with Wolves?
Club girl: Well, yeah. He's Native American!
Club guy: That's like asking a Jewish person if they have ever seen Fiddler on the Roof!

Ohio State University, High Street
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Tuition Wasted

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How Child Psychologists Stay in Business

Kid wailing during first sex scene in Brokeback Mountain: I don't want to watch this movie anymooore!

Illinois

Overheard by: martha

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Now If Only Someone Would Pick Up My Screenplay for Baroque Back Mountain

Queer: They're putting out a film about Mary, Queen of Scots. This is, like, the best year ever. I just saw a documentary about the Tudors. I am so excited.

University Co-Op Outlet
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Merey

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Debbie Does Dallas, Eh?

Bar manager: So, did you watch that film I gave you?
Bouncer: Yeah, man -- I couldn't get past the opening credits without a box of tissues.

Bar
Westchester, New York

Overheard by: Tom

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You Know, We Should Talk Less

Guy: Have you seen The Swede?
Friends: No ...
Guy: It's like the Citizen Kane of bad Korean movies!

Oyster Bay
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: tell me what you really think

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Hello? Decepticons

Queer to fag hag, after Transformers preview: I thought they were, like, good guys...

Regal Cinemas
Greenville, South Carolina

Overheard by: Trying not to laugh hysterically

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Which One?

Guy #1: Let's see Grindhouse.
Guy #2: What's that about?
Guy #1: Jesus.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

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That Wasn't Henry Winkler As the Head Ewok?

Girl watching end credits of Return of the Jedi: Where's Scott Baio?
Guy: What?
Girl: Scott Baio -- I don't see his name in the credits.
Guy: Scott Baio was not in Star Wars!
Girl: Yes, he was! He was celebrating at the end! The pilot!
Guy: Scott Baio is not Wedge Antilles!

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by:

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Jeremy Discovered His Imagination an Hour Later

High school student #1: Sir, what movie are we going to be watching?
Teacher: Well, until we get the VCR fixed, we'll be watching dead air.
High school student #2: What year was that movie made, sir?

Bus
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia

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It's Cruel to the Gerbil Anyway

Drunk chick on cell: Wait! You didn't like Shaun of the Dead? What's wrong with you? Never mind, you can't stick it in me.

Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shotboy

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But Only If Thumper Was Already Taken

Teen boy #1: So, out of all the Disney princesses, which one would you get nasty with?
Teen boy #2: What? That's gross shit, man. They're cartoons! You're disgusting.
Teen boy #1, after pause: So, the Little Mermaid?
Teen boy #2: Word.

Fall River, Massachusetts

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Aw, C'mon, People, That's Great Material!

Flight attendant: Should the overhead oxygen masks deploy, please put the mask around your face as I will now demonstrate... [Puts mask on, then breathes heavily] Luuuke, I am your father...

US Airways flight to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

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Shit, No, It's Jafar!

Little girl, about passerby wearing turban: Look, Mommy -- it's Aladdin.

Target
Virginia

Overheard by: Makes me want to have kids!

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Just Not Enough to Do It Myself

Chick: We're going to see Saw II, right?
Dude: It's probably gonna suck, though.
Chick: I just want to see people fucking die! You like watching people die, don't you?
Dude: Well, yeah.

Ursinus College
Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: A student

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Han Solo: Nothing I Do Will Ever Be Enough

Virgin: He has to save the universe! Do you know what that's like? Do you know what that feels like? No! Because you're not Luke Skywalker!

Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com

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You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

MBA #1 whispering: Every time [the professor] says, 'investment of comparable risk,' don't you feel like he is saying, 'rodents of unusual size'? Like in The Princess Bride?
MBA #2: You don't like Accounting, do you?

Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com

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Gerald Is Known for His Bizarre Summaries of MA*SH

Guy: It would be like The Hills Have Eyes, except with Koreans.

Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com

Overheard by: alyssa

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Later, They'd Vomit Up Quarters

Like Kathy Griffin

But They Look Fantastic the Whole Time

He'd Still Have the Use of Both Hands

I Mean, I Gotta Get My Orgasm Somewhere, Right?

Philip Pullman: Goddamn It!

I Guess I Never Really Thought of Simba in Those Terms

That's What You Said During Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Not Even in Back Bay?

If the Tagline Isn't "Gotta Fuck Them All" Then Someon Made a Mistake

True That

And Button Up Your Pants, Sweetie

For One Thing, He Looks Less Like a Gay Man

Might Want to Start Off with "I'm Straight."

Why Is It Putting on a Dress and Heels?

And Megatron Is Totally My Ex-Girlfriend!

Meet the Last Kid in the U.S. Who Says "Making Love"

I Eagerly Await the Arrival of Your Point

How Child Psychologists Stay in Business

Now If Only Someone Would Pick Up My Screenplay for Baroque Back Mountain

Debbie Does Dallas, Eh?

You Know, We Should Talk Less

Hello? Decepticons

Which One?

That Wasn't Henry Winkler As the Head Ewok?

Jeremy Discovered His Imagination an Hour Later

It's Cruel to the Gerbil Anyway

But Only If Thumper Was Already Taken

Aw, C'mon, People, That's Great Material!

The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Shit, No, It's Jafar!

Just Not Enough to Do It Myself

Han Solo: Nothing I Do Will Ever Be Enough

You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Gerald Is Known for His Bizarre Summaries of M*A*S*H

Gerald Is Known for His Bizarre Summaries of MA*SH