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Or Maybe It Was White Men Can't Hunch?
Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can't Hump. Wait! No! "Hunt"! It was called Fat Men Can't Hunt. Of course they can hump... If they want to.
Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha Carscadden
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Pop culture | Sex | Words | Posted 2010-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Can Easily Transition to Toucan Sam
Guy with empty bud light box on head: I look like Cap'n Crunch!
Marquette, Michigan
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Food | Guys | Michigan | Pop culture | Posted 2010-02-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
College Exists to Prolong Adolescence
Female Brown student #1: That lab class is so stupid.
Female Brown student #2: Yeah. Harry Potter had the best labs.
Female Brown student #1, sighing: I wish this was Hogwarts.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Sadie
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Pop culture | Rhode Island | Students | Posted 2010-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until She Finds My Letter-Bomb
Six-year-old, matter-of-factly when seeing fireworks go off at Magic Kingdom: They blew up Mickey... Now only Minnie is left.
Disneyworld Bus
Orlando, Florida
Why Is That Always Your Question?
College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren't going to stuff your crotch, are you?
Melbourne University
Australia
Categories: Australia | Colleges & Universities | Friends | Pop culture | Sorority types | Vagina | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Where're All the Lines? I Demand Lines!
High maintenance chick #1: You know, the French quarter at Disney is so much better than this.
High maintenance chick #2: Yeah, right, huh? This place is so dirty!
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: yeah, that big storm and all...
Categories: Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Idiots | Louisiana | Pop culture | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
New Teen Slang for "It's Radical!"
Student #1, viewing political cartoons of Egypt: There's a face on that rock!
Student #2: Because it's the sphynx!
New Hampshire
Categories: History | New Hampshire | Pop culture | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Everyone in That Detrol Commercial
Guy, suddenly getting up from table: Gotta go!
Girl #1: Where's he going?
Girl #2: Maybe he's Superman.
Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: mookie
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Guys | Pop culture | Questions | Posted 2009-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said About the Dentist's Chair!
Middle aged woman #1: I want to see the flag exhibit.
Middle aged woman #2: Me too! I hear it's just like Space Mountain.
Smithsonian National Museum of American History
Washington, DC
Categories: Compare and contrast | Pop culture | Washington, DC | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Get All My Internet News from the Radio
Teen girl: Hey guys! I heard there's going to be like, a digital Armageddon today!
Teen boy: I think that's a hoax.
Teen girl: No, but I heard it on the radio (pause) They wouldn't have reported it like that if it was fake.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: H. G. Wells
Categories: Lies | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Stupidity | Technology | Teens | Posted 2009-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Matter Where I Take You, You're Still You
Tourist, yelling at husband who went to magazine kiosk : Get the magazine! Not the paper! Magazine! (husband comes back with paper) *Sigh* Men...they're the same everywhere.
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
Categories: Compare and contrast | Couples | Family ties | Malaysia | Pop culture | Tourists | Posted 2009-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Kind Of a Boy Gives Hugs, Anyway?
Man to son, coming out of restroom: After what you tried to do to Tigger I'm not sure if you deserve that.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Tracy
Categories: About celebrities | Dads | Default | Florida | Guys | Kids | Offers and requests | Pop culture | Tourist attractions | Posted 2009-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All My Children Waits for No Man
Man in stall on cell: Hey! It's me, do you want to talk dirty? (pause) Oh, okay. I'll let you watch your show.
Coral Springs, Florida
...Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
Businessman on cell: I could barely see over her head, dude! It was like reading Klingon for the first time.
Independence Avenue
Washington, DC
Categories: Body parts | Books | Compliments | Default | Guys | Pop culture | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And It's Not Even in English!
Guy picking up copy of Les Miserables: Oh my god, look at the size of this thing! What a crappy book!
Barnes & Noble
Mankato, Minnesota
Which I Saw a Magician Do Once, Disturbingly Enough
Guy: It was like trying to pull candy from a baby.
West Island
Montreal
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Candy | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Pop culture | Posted 2009-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Have an Orgy to Celebrate-- Right, Mommy?
Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans...
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Overheard by: Jake
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Girls | History | Kids | Kids | Moms | New York | Pop culture | Women | Posted 2009-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sweetie, I'm a Bottom.
Asian girl, holding out fist: Pound it?
Queer: Do I look like someone who pounds it?
Asian girl, giggling: Ummmm...
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Kole
You Are the Weakest Link. Goodbye.
Spanish teacher: And you really have to be careful what you eat, because they have a lot of E. Coli problems.
Teenage girl: E. Coli? Like in those commercials with the cough drops?
Spanish teacher: What?
Teenage girl: Y'know, like the "Eeee-coliiii..."
Jersey Shore High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: shana yo mamma
Categories: Advice | Default | Food | Girls | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Teens | Posted 2009-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Much As Hanson, But Significantly.
20-something fashionista: Oh, the Spice Girls like totally changed my life!
Beverly Center
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Shabunapoodle
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Hipsters | Music | Names | Pop culture | Posted 2009-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Too Bad He's a Gateway Drug on the Road to Rush Limbaugh
Student: I agree with everything Bill O'Reilly says.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Names | Pop culture | Students | Posted 2009-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Girls at the Bottom Of the Pyramid Got the Worst Of It
Blonde teen: Please don't pull my finger!
Brunette teen: Oh, gosh. Is this like that time in gym class?
Homecoming Football Game
Minnesota
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Memory lane | Minnesota | Offers and requests | Pop culture | Questions | Teens | Words | Posted 2009-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is Your Dad on Facebook?
Ditz to friend: He took me Facebook poking him as a romantic gesture!
TC Central High School
Michigan
Categories: Default | Feelings | Girls | Internet | Michigan | Pop culture | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2009-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, the Horror. The Horror!
Dudely dude: You know Heart of Darkness, by Marlon Brando...
Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York
Categories: About celebrities | Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Names | New York | Pop culture | Posted 2009-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until He Discovered Super Princess Peach
Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: I call Princess Peach!
Amused female employee #1: Be gayer, dude.
Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: That was it. I don't think I can get any gayer.
Amused female employee #2: Yeah, he just plateaued.
Ottawa
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Gays | Girls | Pop culture | Sexuality | Posted 2009-03-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worst. Smoothie. Ever.
Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she's like "I think there's still a strawberry up there!"
Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina
Overheard by: starch
Categories: Ass | Colleges & Universities | Default | Food | Guys | Pop culture | South Carolina | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Real World's Sadly Lacking in Noble Causes Worth Fighting for
20-something girl to boyfriend: You're such a nerd.
Boyfriend: We prefer "Men of Gondor."
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Corey
Categories: Books | Couples | Default | Education | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Words | Posted 2009-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More Of a Sugar Grandpa
Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I'm not a sugar-daddy, am I?
Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Default | Family ties | Guys | Malls | Names | Old folks | Pop culture | Questions | Words | Posted 2009-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Heart Zippy Unironically
Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shoppy
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Guys | Money | Names | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Students | Posted 2009-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...'s Guide to Astrophysics?
Customer: Excuse me, where is your non-fiction section?
Salesgirl: What type of non-fiction are you looking for?
Customer: Harry Potter.
Bookstore
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
We Still Laugh About It
Guy to friend: So I said to him, "you wanna be a clown and you don't even know who fucking Bozo is?!"
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: phuqmonkey
Categories: Default | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Pop culture | Questions | San Francisco | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...the Kaaba Of All Television
Persian princess: That's why I really want to be into journalism. I think that being somewhere where there's, like, a tsunami or earthquake is really exciting to me...
Horny first date: Yeah, yeah...
Persian princess (breathy pause): I guess I just really want to work for MTV.
Santana Row
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Demitra
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Pop culture | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: "Your Mom" Replaces "That's What She Said" As Laziest Insult
Girl: I think the live-action of GTO is so much better.
Guy: I think the live action of your mom is so much better.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Girls | Guys | Insults | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | TV shows | Posted 2008-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the Hippest Kids in Montana
Tall adolescent: Peach sucks. Daisy's okay, but peach sucks.
Short adolescent: See, I've always been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a circumcised wang.
Tall adolescent: Oh, you.
Missoula, Montana
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Games | Insults | Montana | Penis | Pop culture | Teens | Posted 2008-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Was My Bar Mitzvah Theme
Guy to friend: Jeff Gordon riding a Velociraptor alongside Jesus...
Appalchian State University
Boone, North Carolina
Overheard by: Diana Mason
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Jesus | North Carolina | Pop culture | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We've All Been Burned by Facebook Applications, Marcie
College girl: I don't want to spam twenty people! I just want to know what fucking Disney princess I am!
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Internet | New York | Pop culture | Sorority types | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Else Could I Stay in New Jersey Without Dying?
Woman: I think I have superpowers.
Lawrenceville, New Jersey
Overheard by: Anna
Categories: Default | New Jersey | Pop culture | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except That Donatello Would Never Leave You Dangling
Teacher: See, adjectives are boring old turtles.
Students: Uhhh.
Teacher: But participles are like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Marshall High School
Virginia
Overheard by: amused student....
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | Pop culture | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Ken Maintains That Orange Tan
Blonde: There was a Ken doll encased in jello in the fridge.
Pocket Sandwich Theater
Dallas, Texas
Ooo--Indian Burrrnnn!
Drunk girl screaming: No one here cares about any of the issues. None of you are from here. That just makes me sick, none of you are fucking from here.
Bus driver over PA: Sweetie, unless your name is Pocahontas, you're not from here either.
NJ Transit Bus
Categories: Bus drivers | Default | Drunks | Geography | Gripes | Insults | Names | New Jersey | Pop culture | Posted 2008-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Tiara Helps But Not Much
Hobo to pretty girl walking by: You remind me of Mona Lisa! Man, I wish I were that pretty!
Mass Ave
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Michelle
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Hobos | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Posted 2008-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I May Also Be Kin to This Cheeseburger
Slightly crazy lady to older man sitting nearby: Hey! You look like my uncle Smitty! Are you kin to me?
Old man, startled: Um, no, I don't think so.
Lady: Well, you never know. I did that genealogy thing and it turns out that I am kin to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and half the men that died at The Alamo.
Dan's Hamburgers
Austin, Texas
Categories: Compare and contrast | Crazies | Default | Family ties | Old folks | Pop culture | Questions | Restaurants | Texas | Women | Posted 2008-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Season One Little House on the Prairie
Girl #1: It's just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.
Starbucks
Ukiah, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Books | California | Default | Feelings | Girls | Internet | Pop culture | Porn | Sexuality | Shopping | Posted 2008-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, He Is on Our Bedsheets
Nerdy freshman talking about philosophy: Well, it depends on what you consider real. Like is Spiderman real?
Kid sitting with him: Uh...
Nerdy freshman: Think about it! Is he?
U Mass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Kids | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Pop culture | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Pretty Much the Short Bus of Hogwarts
Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh... Do you think it's because nobody cares?
Borders
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Books | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Guys | Pop culture | Questions | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Is Hard To Come Across Jeans Already Faded
Guy watching Macy's commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Geography | Guys | Names | Pop culture | Questions | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have Someone Else Do It, But I Guide Their Hand
Muslim girl: I'm really emo, but you couldn't tell from looking at me.
Other girl: Really?
Muslim girl: Yeah, but I don't cut myself. Well, technically. It depends what you mean by cutting yourself.
University of Toronto
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Pop culture | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Want to Go to Epcot? Do You?
Mother to daughter: You don't want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Categories: Advice | California | Compare and contrast | Geography | Happiness | Kids | Moms | Pop culture | Posted 2008-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, It Has the Word "Vajayjay" on the Cover
Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn't know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that's Cosmo!
Barnes & Noble
Illinois
Categories: Books | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Friends | Guys | Illinois | Pop culture | Porn | Stores | Tweens | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Understand Why Santa's Fighting Him
Economics professor, suddenly, in a creepy voice: Noooo you may not! Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! [Continuing in normal voice.] No? Anybody? No? Shame on you all! Just wait a few more years and you'll get what I'm talking about and you will be so pleased.
Tufts University
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrian
Categories: Advice | Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Questions | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or A-Rod's Rod
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn't even see Derek Jeter's ass! ... Or anyone's ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Does Your Violin Bow Double As a Crowbar?
Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!
Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas
Or "Freshmen"
Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those "zombies".
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Sadly, the Dork Seldom Hears an Answer to His Mating Call
Guy: It's from Star Trek! I know it is! Bet me!
Claremore, Oklahoma
Overheard by: I work with dorks
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Oklahoma | Pop culture | Posted 2008-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's the Satanism
Guy: Yeah, so Boyd Rice--
Blonde punk: --Your obsession with Boyd Rice is just as bad as my obsession with Richard Simmons.
Guy: Yeah, pretty much.
Wendy's
Round Rock, Texas
Categories: Friends | Pop culture | Texas | Posted 2007-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It's British -- They Have No Future
Middle-aged woman: No, I haven't read Harry Potter. I'm not really into all that futuristic stuff.
Saratoga Springs, New York
Categories: Bimbettes | New York | Pop culture | Posted 2007-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which One Would You Want to Be True?
Hobo: Look, the pope!
Man: Like I'm going to fall for that!
Hobo, minutes later: Look, Batman! [Man turns and looks.]
Week the pope is in town
São Paulo
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Hobos | Lies | Pop culture | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rubble Rubble?
Man, giggling: Hey, guys...
Friend: For the last time, Jeff, if it's about the Hamburglar, we don't want to hear it.
Galaxy Cinema
Nanaimo, British Columbia
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Friends | Pop culture | Posted 2007-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Father's Store, There Are Many Departments
Guy #1: Who's Ian Gillan?
Guy #2: You know, the guy in Deep Purple? He was also in Jesus Christ Superstore.
Long Beach
Categories: About celebrities | California | Guys | Idiots | Music | Names | Pop culture | Stupidity | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Dads | Family ties | Fashion | Movies | North America | Parenting | Parents | Pop culture | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Made His Millions Off Kant's Death
Philosophy professor: ... And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer's classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.
Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Class | History | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
