Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

I Mean, He Is on Our Bedsheets

Nerdy freshman talking about philosophy: Well, it depends on what you consider real. Like is Spiderman real?
Kid sitting with him: Uh...
Nerdy freshman: Think about it! Is he?

U Mass
Amherst, Massachusetts

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It's Pretty Much the Short Bus of Hogwarts

Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh... Do you think it's because nobody cares?

Borders
Tucson, Arizona

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It Is Hard To Come Across Jeans Already Faded

Guy watching Macy's commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?

Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman

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I Have Someone Else Do It, But I Guide Their Hand

Muslim girl: I'm really emo, but you couldn't tell from looking at me.
Other girl: Really?
Muslim girl: Yeah, but I don't cut myself. Well, technically. It depends what you mean by cutting yourself.

University of Toronto
Toronto
Canadia

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Do You Want to Go to Epcot? Do You?

Mother to daughter: You don't want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

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Dude, It Has the Word "Vajayjay" on the Cover

Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn't know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that's Cosmo!

Barnes & Noble
Illinois

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You'll Understand Why Santa's Fighting Him

Economics professor, suddenly, in a creepy voice: Noooo you may not! Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills! [Continuing in normal voice.] No? Anybody? No? Shame on you all! Just wait a few more years and you'll get what I'm talking about and you will be so pleased.

Tufts University
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Adrian

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Or A-Rod's Rod

Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn't even see Derek Jeter's ass! ... Or anyone's ass.

IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin

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Does Your Violin Bow Double As a Crowbar?

Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!

Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas

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Or "Freshmen"

Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those "zombies".

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

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Sadly, the Dork Seldom Hears an Answer to His Mating Call

Guy: It's from Star Trek! I know it is! Bet me!

Claremore, Oklahoma

Overheard by: I work with dorks

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It's the Satanism

Guy: Yeah, so Boyd Rice--
Blonde punk: --Your obsession with Boyd Rice is just as bad as my obsession with Richard Simmons.
Guy: Yeah, pretty much.

Wendy's
Round Rock, Texas

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But It's British -- They Have No Future

Middle-aged woman: No, I haven't read Harry Potter. I'm not really into all that futuristic stuff.

Saratoga Springs, New York

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Which One Would You Want to Be True?

Hobo: Look, the pope!
Man: Like I'm going to fall for that!
Hobo, minutes later: Look, Batman! [Man turns and looks.]

Week the pope is in town
São Paulo
Brazil

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Rubble Rubble?

Man, giggling: Hey, guys...
Friend: For the last time, Jeff, if it's about the Hamburglar, we don't want to hear it.

Galaxy Cinema
Nanaimo, British Columbia
Canadia

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In My Father's Store, There Are Many Departments

Guy #1: Who's Ian Gillan?
Guy #2: You know, the guy in Deep Purple? He was also in Jesus Christ Superstore.

Long Beach

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The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

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He Made His Millions Off Kant's Death

Philosophy professor: ... And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer's classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.

Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jen

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