Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

Right After He Repairs My Cable Box

Woman #1: Dammmnnn girl! This metro so damn crowded!
Woman #2: Shit yeah! Too many people here.
Woman #1: Don't worry, Obama gonna take care of that.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Ian

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According to This Late-breaking Report from Fox News

Professor: Obama is a white supremacist just like all of you and me and everyone else.

University of Colorado

Overheard by: I missed something

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Wasn't That a Jason Statham Movie?

Old WWII man to another: If I was President of the United States, before I'd let anyone have a license to drive a car I'd make everyone drive a motorcycle for a year to learn defensive driving.

McDonald's
Southington, Connecticut

Overheard by: Raven

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Montana But Were Afraid to Ask

Woman to kids, after explaining the basic importance of voting: And remember... We always vote Republican because the Democrats are godless.

Voting Line
Bozeman, Montana

Overheard by: Justin

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Even If You Do Look Adorable in Communist Colors

Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff...

University of Central Florida

Overheard by: Michelle

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The Mustache?

30-something to another: Yeah, it's the same way I can tell you're a hipster. I can tell he's anti-semitic.

Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com

Overheard by: siobhan

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Or Limit Themselves to Christian Side Hugs, Like We Do

Guy: Well, the Republican party is doing that right now.
Easily offended girl: I don't generalize!
Guy: Well then, what about homosexuality?
Easily offended girl: Oh, they should all burn in hell!

West Texas A&M University

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Pop Quiz: Which Of These Things Are True About Sarah Palin?

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

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Translation: She Won't Leave Her Husband for Me

Lesbian, about ex girlfriend: I mean, the only thing liberal about her is she's gay.

Atlanta, Georgia

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Calls Himself a "Demosexual"

Woman #1: The Democrats were bound to lose the House majority, though... Oh, did you hear about David?
Woman #2: What about him?
Woman #1: Well, he recently came out.
Woman #2: Oh my god! As a Democrat?

University of North Texas

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Thank God We Live in a Country Where the Popular Vote Is Irrelevant

Female student during welcome week: My uncle doesn't believe in recycling. You know, cause it's like a democratic principle...
Male student: Oh, yeah, totally.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Actually, it's more communist...

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My Campaign Would Be Like Whoopi Goldberg's Marriage to Ted Danson

Very white English major girl: I could never be a politician. I'd be all like "bitch, you're trippin' balls. Sit yo' fat toupeed ass down!"

Universisty Station
Calgary
Canadia

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Wouldn't That Require the Right to Bear Arms?

Pleasant English lady in line at checkout: Whoever invented all these human rights should be shot!

Scott Air Force Base
St. Clair County, Illinois

Overheard by: Ninjamedic

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The Kind Of Guy Who Takes Women's Studies Classes to Meet Chicks

Women speaking to crowd at rally: We're here to take a stand against violence towards girls and women!
Solo guy in middle of the crowd: Woo! Yeah!

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Can you yell innapropriate?

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Just Like "Always Have a Cigarette After Cocktails"

Woman to screaming toddler in her arms: I'm not going to let you down unless you hold my hand. Are you going to hold my hand?
(toddler screams something unintelligible)
Woman: I'm sorry, I don't make the rules. They're the rules of the President of the United States of America.

Outlet Mall
Leesburg, Virginia

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Here, I'm Using Sarcasm to Make a Teaching Point

Political science professor: Our president is black. Some of you may have noticed this. Some of you probably haven't yet.

California State University
San Marcos, California

Overheard by: I knew it

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Like Medical Marijuana

16-year-old girl #1: What's Zionism?
16-year-old girl #2: The belief that Jewish people should be able to have a homeland in Israel, I think.
16-year-old girl #1: So it's like a religion?
16-year-old girl #2: No, it's a political movement.
16-year-old girl #1: Wait, so it's a religion?

Sacramento, California

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Not to Mention the Right to Bear Claws

Dumb blonde: Our Bill of Rights is so cool... Everyone must own a cat. And the Lion King.

San Diego, California

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About American Politics But Were Afraid to Ask

Guy #1: So I signed up for the Republican Club.
Guy #2: But you're not Republican, are you?
Guy #1: No, but this guy was wearing a shirt I really liked. I just want the shirt.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Overheard by: Ian

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So "Lehman" Is Out?

Big-haired mother to friends: I like what Sarah Palin did with her kids' names. I mean, I want to give my kids names that are cool, but nothing that would, you know, prevent them from being business majors.

San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: An East Coast Elitist

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And Don't Even Get Me Started on Jessica Simpson

Elderly man: This abstinence shit the Republicans get on about... Abstinence my ass! I've been looking at girls since I was 11. I mean: come on, the Virgin Mary is crying!

North Haven, Connecticut

Overheard by: Sara

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Or They'll Get the Business-End Of Our Canes!

Seriously old lady: Tell the oil companies to piss off... We're taking over!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: skeeta

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We'd Be Doing Bad Things, Too, If We Didn't Have Our Own Continent

Girl, seeing Palestine poster: Who do you go for?
Guy: What?
Girl: You know, between Israel and um, Pakistan.
Guy: You mean Palestine?
Girl: Whatever. Which one is doing the bad stuff?
Guy: They both are...
Girl: Yeah, I can never decide.

Sydney University
Australia

Overheard by: Don't hurt yourself, honey.

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The Demographic Oprah Couldn't Reach

Delivery guy to guy wearing "Deadheads for Obama" t-shirt: So the Dead are for Obama?
Man: Uh-huh.
Delivery guy: Then so am I.

Burbank, California

Overheard by: Urzzz

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She Also Wear Che Guevara T-Shirts and Thinks It's Bob Marley

Old lady to emo girl: Al Gore is really saving the earth.
Emo girl wearing bag that says "go green": Wait... Who's Al Gore?

Ketchikan, Alaska

Overheard by: Claire

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Guess It's Montessori School for You Then

Dad, changing son's diaper: Why don't you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?

New Jersey

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You Forgot to Add "...My Penis?"

Normal, fairly cute boy: Excuse me.
Normal, fairly cute girl: Yes? (stops walking)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Are you interested in any global issues? Aids, the environment, human rights?
Normal, fairly cute girl: Honestly, no. (walks away)
Normal, fairly cute boy: Oh. (looks really confused and a little crushed)

Outside Library
University of York
England

Overheard by: Even I thought it was a bit harsh!

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What If You're Pregnant with a Large Tumor That Has Teeth and Hair?

Boy #1: So, I never got what the difference was between liberals and conservatives.
Boy #2: Well, conservatives like big business, and liberals like communism.
Boy #1: Oh. What if I want to be both?
Boy #2: You can't be both. It's an on/off thing. Like, you're either pregnant or you're not. Or like you're Christian or you're Islam.

High School
Minnesota

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Smart Money Says She Prefers Teaching Gymnastics

Teacher: Who was right in the American Revolution?
(silence)
Student: We were?
Teacher: We were! God, I thought you were all communists for a minute.

Kalamazoo, Michigan

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We Salute the Men and Women Who Fight for the Freedom to Be Ignorant

Soldier: So I guess I'm leaving around April-ish.
Girl: Why can't they send you to Paris? Or Greece?
Soldier: Um... Cause we aren't at war there?
Girl: Well, we should be!

Ft. Campbell, Kentucky

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Only Cheap and Tasty Capitalism, Like Starbucks.

Child of privileged hipster: I'm into capitalism too. Just not, like, evil capitalism.

Oakland, California

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Wasn't This a Steven Spielberg Movie?

Lady on the bus: So I was 17 and pregnant! He was a Nazi extremist, but a very nice man. Very charming. I was rebellous (sic) as a teenager. Very rebellous. But now I'm old-fashioned, and I've got lots of morals.

Wellington
New Zealand

Overheard by: dominic

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Did He Ever Think That Some Of Us Wanted to Be Left Behind?

Five-year-old little boy to grandmother: If I ever meet George Bush, I'm going to kick him in the balls.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: trying not to laugh parent

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Her Weight Gain Cowed the Electorate Into Submission

Mom to five-year-old: I don't like Oprah Winfrey, because it's her fault Obama is President.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: David Leech

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Mr. Cheney's Office Failed to Return Our Calls

Student: I think the result of this case means that people are worried that government officials can be held just as accountable as normal citizens.

Law School
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: MaggieB

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...And Bring Out the Visual Aids.

Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.

Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

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So I'll Vote for Him, Too.

Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't "Wil" only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.

Denver, Colorado

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You're Divorced, Mom.

Seven-year-old boy to mom: So, mom, all the kids in camp were making fun of this one boy cuz he was a stinky Yankees fan and we're all Mets fans!
Mom: Honey, if mommy can marry a Republican, than you can be friends with a Yankees fan.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Laura

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Um, Books About Dildos?

Janeane Garofalo incarnate, walking past adult bookstore: What more does a feminist need than dildos and books?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: A. N. Cargo

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Underground. On Mars.

30-something large man: That book by George Orwell, 1984, is a prophecy!
Skinny guy sitting next to him: Yeah, yeah, man.
30-something large man: Because in 1985, the government took over, and they were the ones selling all the crack and dope. I would know. I was working for them.

Transit Bus
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: scooting farther away

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Yeah the Zodiac Governs Best That Governs Least

Guy: That's a cool necklace. What is it?
Girl: Oh, it's Lady Liberty. I'm a libertarian.
Guy: Oh cool. I'm a Virgo.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by: student

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Sad About Getting Caught

20-something hipster chick: I cried throughout the whole movie. Seriously, I was bawling! Richard Nixon was such a sad man.

Tick Tock Diner
Passiac, New Jersey

Overheard by: JoBell

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If That's Your Sex Club, I'm Not Interested.

Guy: Hold my backpack for me.
Turkish girl: No.
Guy: If you hold my backpack for me, I'll let you into the European Union.

Middlebury College
Middlebury, Vermont

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The Camera Loves You, by the Way

Reporter to bodyguard for racist, fascist political party holding a press conference: Can you tell us why we're not being allowed to enter?
Bodyguard: You've printed repeated and insidious lies about our party.
Reporter, after long pause: We're a tv station.

Manchester
England

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Not Even Sofia Bush?

Trolley driver, approaching Bush Street: Anyone for Bush? Then get off! Anyone? Anyone? (no one moves) Thank god!

San Francisco, California

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If It Weren't for Those Compromising Nudie Pics Of You with the Chalupa

Guy #1: (mumbles)
Guy #2: Well, maybe you need to be more white.
Guy #1: What are you talking about? I'm Mexican, you're white!
(pause)
Guy #2: Dude, you would make the best politician.

Bathroom, UC Santa Cruz
California

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Along With Everything I Learned in Grade School

Drunken girl #1: Ah, that tubby boy kissed me.
Drunken girl #2: Doesn't matter, just remember the rule.
Drunken girl #1: "We don't share"?
Drunken girl #2: No, the other rule.
Drunken girl #1: "Your dress can be as short as you like, as long as you're wearing stockings"?
Drunken girl #2: No. The "if you don't remember it, it didn't happen" rule.
Drunken girl #1: Oh, I'm forgetting it now, then.

Sydney
Australia

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...Have You Seen the Al Gore Warming Plate?

College guy: So, speaking of Hillary Clinton and nutcrackers...

Anchorage, Alaska

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I Knew This Antique Taffy-Pull Would Come in Handy One Day

History prof: This is the toughest late policy I've ever developed. And...it makes me feel good inside.

Mal-U
Canadia

Overheard by: Punctual student

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And the Lake's Still Frozen

Chick: The peeing politician doesn't float my boat.

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E

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Now We Both Feel Sick, Sir

American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

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And It Wasn't Easy Being Green

Trophy wife, very sincerely: I think that in a past life...I was Ralph Nader.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick

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The Way I Do When I Think Of Our Faculty Meetings

Political science professor to class, explaining the term "political actors": Political actors can be political parties, politicians, organizations of different kinds...and by organizations I do not think of a group of pedophile carpenters gathering in a living room.

NTNU University
Norway

Overheard by: Amused student

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...of Color

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

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Obama Is Tony, America Is Maria, And McCain Is Bernardo

Professor: Let's move on...let's talk about Puerto Ricans in New York. And crack. And race. Well, let's start with Obama.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Overheard by: lovecollege

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According to This Fortune Cookie

Professor: You don't want to have a thin-skinned Prime Minister who's afraid of puffin poo.

University of Ottawa
Canadia

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And I'm a Republican!

Professor: Well, I'm not supposed to state my own political views. (pause) Ah, to hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Sarah Palin is a complete fucking disaster!

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: Brittany

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Now We Can't Even Keep Madonna

British theater professor: Well, you know Hong Kong used to belong to Britain. (angrily) Everything used to belong to Britain.

Theater Class, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Chanimal

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Two Girls, One Capri

Guy: Did you watch that Palin video I sent you?
Girl: Not yet. I have to take my pants off to watch it.

Bloomfield, Connecticut

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With Hitler and People Who Smell Tied for Third

Mom, doing mock interview of five-year-old for their journal: Okay, who is your least favorite person?
Five-year-old: Saddam Hussein, and the girl at school with the bent chin.

Maryland

Overheard by: Brittany

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Why Two Girls, One Vlad Failed to Find an Audience

20-something guy: Dude, Putin is terrifying. I don't think I've ever seen him crack a smile.
Middle aged woman: I know! Don't you ever wonder what he's like, like, during sex?
20-something guy and girl in unison: No.

Virginia Commonwealth University

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It's Like Pinnochio's Nose

Woman #1: Well, you know, we're screwed either way. Whether Obama or that other guy with the lump on the side of his face wins.
Woman #2: McCain?
Woman #1: Yeah! I mean, he turns one way and it's just all... (uses hands to demonstrate) There! What the fuck is that?

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: kris.

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Like High Explosive, Ignorance Has a Shockwave

Blond cocktail waitress, looking at a t-shirt of George Bush and his dad with Dumb and Dumber under photos: Who is that?
Chef: Excuse me! Are you serious?
Blond cocktail waitress (a few seconds later, with dumbfounded look): Ooooooh! Is that our President? Then who is that? (pointing to the photo of Bush Sr)
Chef (grabbing head in agony): Owww!

Lulu's Restaurant
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Ben

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When, Really, They Go Together Like a Wink and Smile

Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!

Burlington, Vermont

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The ACLU Defends the Constitution? What Kinda Commie Shit Is That?!

Volunteer #1: We can't be selling this music, it's devil worship.
Volunteer #2: Well, that's the ACLU. The ACLU ought to be abolished. They're why there's all this stuff around.
Customer: Why are you getting rid of that? Don't you think people ought to be able to choose for themselves?
Volunteer #2: Harry Potter is a witch!
Customer: I think we ought to get rid of Bush and Cheney, put them in jail--they're mass murderers!
Volunteers #1 & #2: (silence)

Joshua Tree Thrift Shop
California

Overheard by: Celeste Mann

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That, or the Patriot Act

Dirty hobo (screaming): Does anyone have any popcorn on this fucking train? (glares because no one answers) That's what's fucked up with his country, no one will give you any fucking popcorn!

BART Train
San Francisco, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And Almost As Many Holes As Most Political Speeches

Old lady: Look at that cheese--such a pretty color! Like one of Hillary Clinton's pantsuits.

Santa Rita Cantina
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Katie

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I'm a Strong Proponent of Laissez-Éclair Ideology

Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!

Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jen

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Alan Breaks Into a Chorus of "Gonna Floss Those Reds Right Out of My Lair"

Important looking man on cell: So, apparently, Georgia is being occupied by Russia. What this means to us is... Oooh! Toothbrushes!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: ak

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No, Dad, Joe Camel Is Not on the Ticket

Woman on phone: No dad, the Democratic congress is probably not affecting the cancer rate. No, a Democratic president will probably not make cancer rates worse.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: me!

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There's Been a Lot of Tortured Reasoning About That in the U.S.

Genuinely confused girlfriend: Here's the thing I don't get about Guantanamo Bay...is it an actual place?

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: MoMo

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When I Come Back with Half a Face, It's on Your Conscience

(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!

Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey

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Unless You Count Facebook Status Updates

Suit #1: So you live in the Watergate.
Suit #2: I do. The famous Watergate complex.
Suit #1: It's famous?
Suit #2: Yeah--the Nixon scandal and everything.
Suit #1: Oh--I don't really follow current events.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

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Translation: They Rejected Me

Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.

Colorado University
Denver, Colorado

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Always Chewing Up Movies Like Independence Day

Professor, to VCR: Oh, you socialist!

Tantasqua High School
Fiskdale, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Kat

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This Argument Makes Your Editors So Tired We Must All Take Naps Now

Sorority girl to lit class: So she was all saying that I was totally against feminism if I insisted on shaving my legs. And I said she was totally against feminism if she insisted on being a whore!

University of Nebraska
Lincoln, Nebraska

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Most Emmy Winners Would've Preferred That Too

Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

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Or Between a Comfy Bed and a Public Bathroom

20-something foreigner: The Democrats and Republicans... It's like the difference between safe sex and unsafe sex.

Taverna
Athens
Greece

Overheard by: sarah

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Why They Stopped Serving Champagne at UN Events

Dude leaving party: Just remember we have one goal. We have one shared dream, people. It starts with "I" and ends with "no more motherfucking apartheid."

Kalamazoo, Michigan

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They'll Make You Think, and Care

(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don't want those cookies.
Little boy: What's wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie

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'Cause I'm Sick of Them Interrupting My Reality Shows with Speeches

Genius cashier: Did they decide on a President yet? You know, the President thing?

North Andover, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Wrote it on my receipt so I wouldn't forget

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A Black Friend Wearing Fubu Might Even Get Me Free Drinks

White girl: I wish I had an Obama t-shirt to wear tonight. (pause) Although I'm sure if I brought a black friend it'd be just the same.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: lb

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...A Metaphor I Would Know Nothing About

Professor: The Government was spending money like a drunken sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse.

Macroeconomics Class
University of California

Overheard by: Econometrically Bored

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In an Abstruse Theological Way That Requires Nothing of Us

Mid-30s casual man to woman: Obama is our modern-day political Jesus Christ. He will save us.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: babybug

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Like We'd Really Elect a Latino?

Teen girl to classmates: Jesus was not a President!

US History Class, High School
San Diego, California

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Mark Penn Offered Us $2 Million for This Quote

Black girl to another black girl wearing Obama t-shirt: Girl, what is that on your shirt? Mmmm, Obama is looking all fine up on your chest.

UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina

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Because He Was a Lame Duck

Chick: So, they haven't actually had a mayor since the last one had to be euthanized...

Honors Lounge, Metro State College
Denver, Colorado

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Or the Word "Dyke" Ever Again

Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm... Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so... Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America's dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn't use a metaphor.

English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii

Overheard by: boehmface

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For Instance, If the State Wants to Mix Stripes and Plaids

Bimbette government teacher, explaining checks and balances: So then, like, the national government says to the state government, "Um, you can't do that, you little... like, state."

Canton, Michigan

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With the Help of Her Lovely Assistant

Jewish student, about another: Every time we talk about the holocaust she, like, throws her Jew out and spins a dreidel with it or whatever.

SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

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Texas Finally Catches Up to the Rest of the Country

Teacher: In a representative democracy, if you don't like who's in office, what can you do?
Student: Impeach him!
Teacher: Well, that's too drastic, what else?
Same student: Assassination?

9th Grade World Geography Class
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: amused teacher's aide

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Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don't we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls

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It's Like Having a Principle, Only Easier

Granola guy: Yeah man, Ron Paul is awesome! He, like, votes no on everything.

Bonnaroo Festival
Manchester, Tennessee

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Terry McAuliffe: Shhhhhh!

Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there's more than one?

JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: baffled

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With Dresden As a Possible Exception

Professor: Well, they had Nazis, but those aren't exactly lighting fixtures.

Theatre Class, SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

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Ironically, the Skirt Has a Silver Lining

Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like "My daughter needs bottoms."
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I'm wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Myr

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In That She's an American in a Brit's Body

Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that's because Maggie is a tranny.

Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Adam

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Portrait Of the U.S. Policy Advisor As a Young Man

Small boy running down aisle: Stupid democracy!

Canadia

Overheard by: MNM

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How Everybody Reacts to Ann Coulter's Baby Pictures

Liberal student, passing photo of cute baby: Aw... [realizing it's an ad for campus pro-life group] ... Ugh.

Princeton University
New Jersey

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Try Not to Taste or Touch Them, Okay?

Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!

Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Dawn

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In Case You Were Wondering

American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn't escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.

Chicago, Illinois

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The French: "We're on Your Side?"

Professor: And the French, they?re only worth 2/3 of a person because, well, they?re on our side, but they don?t fight well.

Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com

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Especially If He Were Standing Next to Me with a Machete

Guy on phone: I don't vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot... Well, yeah, if it was 'Killer,' then I'd definitely vote for him.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by:

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Wait'll She Finds Out God's Asian

Professor: We have to accept the fact that there are still individuals in this country who are horribly racist, who have a completely backwards system of beliefs... Now, I call that person 'Nana,' but that's neither here nor there.

University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts

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Couldn't We Just Discriminate Against People Wearing Explosive Clothing?

Bimbette: Well, discriminating against the Muslims is different than against, like, the Russians for Hitler and everything.

Archbishop Spalding High School
Severn, Maryland

Overheard by: Wait, is she kidding?

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With a Scary Product

Girl: Why do they have an ambassador to Vatican City?
Guy: Because it's a country and stuff.
Girl: Do, like, normal people live there?
Guy: I don't know...
Girl, thoughtfully: It's a scary place...

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by:

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I'd Do Almost Anything for Dick

Teen girl: Hmmm. Nixon. I'd strip for Richard Nixon.

High school football game
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: At least our children know their American history.

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Which I Would Know Absolutely Nothing About.

Poli-Sci professor on impeachment of federal judges: Once they're there, they're nearly impossible to remove... They just keep hanging in there... Kinda like herpes.

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York

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Just the Lucky Ones, I Told 'Em

Woman: I was in Budapest and people would ask, 'Is everyone in America like Dick Cheney?' And I'm like, 'Fuck no!'

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: rich

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But Otherwise Quite Civilized

Dude: Is it okay if I bring her to the party this evening? She's a Republican.

Bookstore
Florence, Oregon

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Can't Wait 'til They Go Up against Hillary's Flying Monkeys

Girl #1: How come the pigeons don't die when they hop on that third rail?
Girl #2: Because they're Dick Cheney's unholy army of the night.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: I'm glad I couldn't vote back then

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Being President Means Always Having to Say You're Sorry

Visiting Chinese professor: We like Clinton for his love stories.

University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma

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