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Wasn't That a Jason Statham Movie?
Old WWII man to another: If I was President of the United States, before I'd let anyone have a license to drive a car I'd make everyone drive a motorcycle for a year to learn defensive driving.
McDonald's
Southington, Connecticut
Overheard by: Raven
Categories: Connecticut | Old folks | Philosophy | Politics | Wishes | Posted 2011-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Alcohol Exists.
Barman to another: I was looking forward to being miserable this weekend, but it seems to have turned out quite nicely.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Bartenders | Leisure | Other sites | Philosophy | Wishes | Posted 2011-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Says Today's Young Men Aren't Philosophers?
Guy #1: Yo, dawg, you got herpes. You got herpes, dawg!
Guy #2: Well, you got HIV!
Guy #1: Herpes is worse, dawg!
Guy #2: No, it ain't!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Guys | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | STDs | Posted 2011-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What? I'm an Adult in the Eyes Of the Church!
Newly confirmed 15-year-old: Man, hangovers suck.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2011-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Much As Spencer from The Hills, But Close.
20-something girl: You know, slavery just bugs me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just a bug
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2011-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What He Calls His Penis.
Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.
Bar
London
England
Overheard by: Dirty PJ
Categories: England | Guys | Pee | Philosophy | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The New Children's Book That's Sweeping the Nation
Young 20-some male to another: Any friend that tells you not to smoke crack isn't a friend.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Travis N.
Categories: Character | Drugs | Guys | Nevada | Philosophy | Posted 2011-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's One Poking Out Of Jane's Skirt Now!
Prof: Life is a game of chance. There may not be a tomorrow. Or, it may not be the tomorrow you expect. You might go home tonight and die. Or you might go home tonight and have a baby!
Carelton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: if i gave birth tonight, my biggest concern would be how my pregnancy went undetected for nine months.
Categories: Canadia | Death & dying | Education | Offspring | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2011-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Think I Like This Party Game.
Drunk girl: But the whole point is to avoid Aids!
Michigan State University
Categories: Advice | Drunks | Michigan | Philosophy | STDs | Posted 2011-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Smell a TV Reality Competition!
Girl to friend: The only way that guy's getting into my pants is if he's a cross-dresser.
Bar
Farmington
Michigan
Overheard by: PeterG
Categories: Character | Girls | Michigan | Philosophy | Sex | Posted 2011-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Nation, Under Beer...
Guy #1: This root beer is really... inspirational.
Guy #2, thoughtfully: Canadians like all types of beer...
Hot Docs Festival
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Guys | Philosophy | Posted 2011-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like When Jim Carrey Became Jamie Kennedy
Nerd #1: What you really must decide is where your evil alter ego came from. Was it a sudden event that caused it to emerge? Or was it always lurking waiting for the right moment?
Nerd #2, nodding in agreement: Yes, yes. So true.
Skagit, Washington
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Philosophy | Questions | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Why I'm Carrying This Dagger
Adorable eight-year-old girl: I would do anything for a bagel... except shoot someone.
Ardmore, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: was a hungry 8 yr old once too
Categories: Food | Kids | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Violence | Posted 2011-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...According to the Latest Edition Of Chicken Soup for the Canadian Soul.
Guy to another: Running naked with a sword is just not a good idea.
Guelph
Canadia
Categories: Advice | Canadia | Guys | Philosophy | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...In the Same Way My Slashing You with This Register Key Would Be Interesting.
Cashier: Sir, would you like to donate that one cent to breast cancer research?
Man: No... I actually think cancer is a great way of controlling population.
Cashier, frowning at him: That's interesting.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: anastasia
Categories: Employees | Maladies | Oregon | Philosophy | Questions | Posted 2011-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Kind Of Sorry-Ass Man Drinks at Applebees?
Loud drunk man at bar to attractive woman leaving restaurant: Can I take you out to McDonald's sometime?
Woman: No, I'm married. Thanks for the offer, though.
Drunk man: Married? Well, shoot! Where's your husband at then?
Woman: He's working.
Drunk man: Working? Well, hell! I work sometimes too!
Applebee's
Beaufort, South Carolina
Categories: Drunks | Etiquette | Food | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Relationships | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2011-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Bon Jovi Song That Everyone Forgets
Guy, about girl crying at the bar: You can't cry and wear leather!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Clothes | Feelings | Guys | New Jersey | Philosophy | Posted 2011-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Wouldn't You Agree, Herb?
Wholefood store employee: I don't know, just when you think the world couldn't get any worse, suddenly there's a basil crisis.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Employees | Other sites | Philosophy | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2011-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's So Convenient for My Court Appearances
Young thug #1: I'm telling you, man, if they get you for jaywalking or littering down here, they just dismiss it.
Young thug #2: Really?
Young thug #1: Yeah, man, the homeless do it all the time.
Young thug #2: Man...
Young thug #1: I'm telling you. That's why I stay downtown.
Elevator
Los Angeles Superior Court
California
Overheard by: Mylinda
Categories: Advice | California | Crimes | Philosophy | Thugs | Posted 2011-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Won't Feel a Thing, I Promise
Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you're basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can't guarantee that I won't get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Drunks | England | Girls | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Posted 2011-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Edna and Paul's Relationship Begins to Flounder
Husband to wife: I've been married to you for 35 years and I still don't understand your thought process on trout.
Florence, Kentucky
Categories: Couples | Kentucky | Philosophy | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2011-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After the Way It's Treated Me
Woman, discussing Star Trek: It's like, I don't give a crap about the stupid Falcon death trap.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: MoMo
Categories: Canadia | Feelings | Philosophy | TV shows | Women | Posted 2011-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Watched the Baby Play with a Plastic Bag
Office building tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week. I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn't find him. I didn't know who else to notify, so I just went home.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: how about 911?
Categories: Character | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Stupidity | Posted 2011-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Limit Themselves to Christian Side Hugs, Like We Do
Guy: Well, the Republican party is doing that right now.
Easily offended girl: I don't generalize!
Guy: Well then, what about homosexuality?
Easily offended girl: Oh, they should all burn in hell!
West Texas A&M University
When Fat Monsters Have Lunch
Suit #1: I honestly think one of our world's biggest problems right now is corn tortillas falling apart.
Suit #2: You're so right. I can't believe I never thought about this before.
Starbucks
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: Katlin Sehres
Categories: Food | Philosophy | Stupidity | Texas | Posted 2011-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Are Guys So Afraid Of Making a Full Colon Committment?
Bearded guy: So, I've been really getting into, like, semicolons.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Education | Guys | Philosophy | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Lot Of Cocaine and a Lot Of Ego?
40-something: No one really knows just what goes into running a chicken farm.
Hebron, Kentucky
Overheard by: Let's Keep It That Way
Categories: Animals | Idiots | Kentucky | Philosophy | Posted 2010-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kierkegaard Water Park Encourages That
Young girl, about dragonfly on water slide: It can't be alive because it's dead!
College guy: Kids are so philosophical.
Hackettstown, New Jersey
Categories: Death & dying | Kids | Kids | New Jersey | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2010-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does That Explain Your Face-Condom?
College girl #1: Makeup is like a sock for your face: it covers it, but doesn't really protect it.
College girl #2: Wow... That's deep.
New Mexico
Categories: Compare and contrast | Fashion | New Mexico | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2010-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Just Barely Care About People
Philosophy student #1, about biomedical ethics: Yeah, we just don't know enough yet to go around screwing with genetic manipulation. Like, cloning people. That creeps me out.
Philosophy student #2: That sheep they cloned, Dolly. She died recently, didn't she? She was like five or six years old.
Philosophy student #1: Yeah. I don't think she lived very long.
Philosophy student #2: What's an average sheep lifespan?
Philosophy student #1, in defensive tone of voice: I don't know! I don't care about sheep!
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Age and ageing | Animals | Canadia | Death & dying | Philosophy | Science | Students | Posted 2010-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, by Definition?
American woman to daughter, window shopping in front of Hermès: Luxury isn't for everyone.
Hermès
Paris
France
Categories: France | Philosophy | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Instant Coffee: Explained
Philosophy teacher: So, I've created a robot that knows how to go into my office and make me a coffee. But what if something goes wrong? What if the coffee's in a different place, or there's no milk? What if there's bees in the sugar?
Perth
Australia
Categories: Australia | Philosophy | Teachers | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why I Don't Attend Grad Student Parties: Explained.
Guy at party: Well, I don't know if you can reduce Thoreau to pantheism...
Girl in Avatar face paint: Oh! Reduce!?
Berkeley, California
Categories: California | Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
San Francisco's Full Of Philosophical Idealists
Woman sitting in front of bank: Ya know, I don't believe in earthquakes...
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: Philosophy | San Francisco | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Spontaneous Admission to Grad School Is Just a Myth
Philosophy professor: He chose this example because it had sex appeal. It turned people on.
(changes PowerPoint slide to picture of bacterial flagellum)
Male student: Ohhhhh!
Professor: Please don't have an orgasm in my class.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Orgasm | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Science | Sex | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Miyagi Taught Him How, in the First Movie.
Student: What would Elvis say?
Professor: What would Plato say?
Student: What would Butler say?
Campbell: What would Foucault say?
Girl in back row: All I know is he broke a table.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: elvis eavesdropper
Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | Education | Philosophy | Questions | Students | Teachers | Virginia | Posted 2009-10-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Me, Nature, and Judge Judy
Chemistry professor: Now, it may seem that nature has gotten it wrong--but like me, nature never gets it wrong.
University of Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | New Zealand | Philosophy | Science | Teachers | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Don't Want to Go to Grandma's, Just Say So.
Mom: I'll shoot you, then you'll shoot me, and we won't have to go anywhere.
Daughter: Mom...?
Mom: What? I'm just saying. If we shot each other we couldn't go anywhere, anyways.
Dressing Room in Mall
Pennsylvania
Categories: Family | Girls | Malls | Moms | Murder | Parenting | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Stupidity | Posted 2009-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Intellectual Version Of Double Dare
Professor: They were playing the Rocky theme song while I was trying to think great thoughts.
McDaniel College, Maryland
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Maryland | Movies | Music | Philosophy | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Think You See What I'm Saying.
Philosophy teacher: Nowadays we see faith as blind belief. Is that fair to say?
Blind student: No.
Philosophy teacher: Right, why?
Blind student: I never believe anything blindly.
Santa Ana College
California
Overheard by: Frankie1way
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Disabled | Education | Health & Hygiene | Philosophy | Religion | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whoaaaaa.
Professor: I'm afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Fears | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fine-- Pop Quiz, Bitches!
German instructor: Today is a bad day to ask me questions.
Several students at once: What's the meaning of life?
Montevallo, Alabama
Meet the Offspring Of Immanuel Kant and Kathy Griffin
Random girl in hallway: If you have a stuffy nose and are in an elevator with someone who just farted, but you don't know they did, does it still smell bad?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Burping & farting | Default | Florida | Girls | Philosophy | Questions | Posted 2009-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sounds Like a Good Rule
Girl to friend: And then this guy, I can't remember his name, he was like "hey, you want some cake?" But I've read his blog and he believes in creationism, so I was like "no, thanks."
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Default | Girls | Names | New Zealand | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Relationships | Science | Posted 2008-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Two Types of Feminists, Encapsulated
Female student #1: I think Picasso painted them as nudes to liberate women; to show that they're human beings.
Female student #2: I think he just liked tits.
French Class
UMass, Amherst
Categories: Class | Compare and contrast | Default | Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | Nipples | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2008-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait 'Til She Realizes Drag Queens Have Better Legs Than She Does
20-something girl #1: Did you hear Dan and Jack are getting married?
20-something girl #2: But they're guys.
20-something girl #1: Yeah... guys who fell in love in college, have been together eight years, have never broken up once, and Dan proposed while they were in Paris.
20-something girl #2: Bitches! They stole my dream! See, this is why feminism sucks.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | Gripes | Maryland | Philosophy | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not My Thing
Upset 20-something girl: I don't like things where things are things inside of things!
Drexel University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Zywiec
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
See the Truth in the Morning and Die Happy That Night
Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!
Poughkeepsie, New York
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | New York | Old folks | Philosophy | Posted 2008-12-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only Metaphysically.
Student: Isn't all truth metaphysical by this standard?
Law professor: Are you stoned?
UC Hastings
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Loving this
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drugs | Philosophy | Questions | San Francisco | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have To Come Clean. He Did
Soccer girl: God, it's like Aristotle took a shit on you!
Friend: I know, right?
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Girls | Philosophy | Poop | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You're Forging, Try to Spell His Name Correctly This Time
Professor: No, pondering eternal truths is not a good excuse for missing my class...I'd need a signed note from god.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JQ
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | God | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Learn to Wipe, People, Learn to Wipe
Marriage and family therapy professor: If you're living, shit's happening.
Chestnut Hill College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Who Needs Foresight When You've Got a Guatemalan?
Guy: Who needs insight when you've got a Brazilian?
Moncton
New Brunswick
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
You're the Most Boring Imaginary Friend Ever
Emo-poser teen girl: Does this make me look like I exist?
Teen guy (looking): No.
Pinnacle High School
Phoenix, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Clothing | Default | Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teens | Posted 2008-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Did People Do at Work Without Solitaire?
Random girl on date: Sometimes I wonder what life was like before playing cards?
Stuttgart
Germany
Well He Is the One Who Taught Me How to Do a Ponytail Poof
Girl with ponytail poof: He said I'm a stereotype, not an individual.
Blonde friends: That is so gay.
College, Tacoma
Overheard by: Kai
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Insults | Philosophy | Sexuality | Washington | Posted 2008-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Be Really Is to Be Perceived
Guy: Dude, I think my roommate.
Leiden University
The Netherlands
Overheard by: Billy the Bootlegger
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Netherlands | Philosophy | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Inspired Her to Stop Vomiting after Every Meal
Would-be pilosopher: So I've come to the realization that, sadly, my body requires food in order to function...I don't live to eat, I eat to live.
Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, that is so true, very deep!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Canadia | Compliments | Default | Food | Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Stupidity | Posted 2008-11-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haven't We Established That It's 42?
Dopey girl: I once figured out the secret of life.
Friend: Really? What?
Dopey girl: You see, that's the problem.
Friend: What do you mean?
Dopey girl: I forgot it.
Friend: Well, that sucks.
Dopey girl: Yeah. I would've made a lot of money off of that too.
Friend: Well, if it comes back to you...
Dopey girl: Oh--don't worry. You'll be the first to know.
Running Track
Loganville, Georgia
The Wastebasket?
Professor: We're so obsessed about wasting time. But where does the time go when it's wasted?
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Default | Philosophy | Questions | Teachers | Time Management | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Curiously, She Refuses to Watch SpongeBob SquarePants With Me
Professor: Like, for example, my wife loves Everybody Loves Raymond. I think it's...well, I think it's the death of all art.
Catholic University of America
Washington, DC
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Philosophy | TV shows | Teachers | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Implied by the First Three
Teacher: What is life really about?
Student #1: Cars!
Student #2: Love!
Student #3: Money!
Teacher: Why hasn't anyone said "sex" yet?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Irot
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Philosophy | Questions | Sex | Students | Teachers | Texas | Posted 2008-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, "I want my pigeons!" But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world's problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Birds | Default | Georgia | Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Gay Marriage Opponents' "Slippery Slope" Arguments Are Tenuous at Best
Really tall hippie to really short girl in overalls: If that's what you think, then why can't I rape dead people?
El Campesino
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Louise H
Categories: Default | Guys | Hippies | Kink | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Questions | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: They Rejected Me
Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.
Colorado University
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Guys | Nipples | On the phone | Philosophy | Politics | Words | Posted 2008-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wow--Guess You're in Love With the Boy
Girl #1: What is meant to be will always find its way.
Girl #2: Oh, don't give me that crap right now!
UCLA, California
Overheard by: Mallory
Categories: Advice | California | Colleges & Universities | Etiquette | Girls | Philosophy | Posted 2008-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Should Decide These Cases on a Human-by-Human Basis
Woman in suede coat with shearling trim: They put greater value on a human life than on an animal's. Terrible.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogins
Categories: Animals | California | Default | Feelings | Philosophy | Posted 2008-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Could Use Some Advice
Professor: We think imperfectly. If you think you think perfectly... well, just talk to god.
University of Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | God | Oklahoma | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2008-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Fortunately Has My Name on the Label
Professor: I make no sense to myself, I'm surprised I know my own name. Why? Because life sucks. But I have a nice jacket!
Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gossip | Philosophy | Teachers | Virginia | Posted 2008-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Smells Like He Needs a Bath
Teenage girl: God is in every queef.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Categories: Default | Girls | God | New Mexico | Philosophy | Sex | Posted 2008-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hookers and Blow, Sweetie. Hookers and Blow
Little boy: This is boring!
Mom: You know what? Life is boring if you make it that way.
Katonah Train Station
New York City, New York
Overheard by: lisa
Behind the Wheel, Sure
Girl (reading inspirational quote): "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." (pause) Helen Keller. (to friend) Wasn't she, like, a killer?
Indigo Bookstore
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sunissa
Whatever I Can't Get from Miss Cleo, Anyway.
Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn't exist. It's all in our minds. It's either hot or cold out, but what are "degrees" really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by... (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I'm going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad you're teaching us then...
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Internet | Philosophy | Science | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Professor Appreciated the Eight-Sided Paper
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Default | Education | Friends | Games | Philosophy | Pride | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, He Is on Our Bedsheets
Nerdy freshman talking about philosophy: Well, it depends on what you consider real. Like is Spiderman real?
Kid sitting with him: Uh...
Nerdy freshman: Think about it! Is he?
U Mass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Kids | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Pop culture | Questions | Students | Posted 2008-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Drink Constantly, Though
Guy: You know, I'm usually anti-slavery... Except when I drink, then I'm all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | History | Philosophy | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Joey Tribbiani As a Kid
Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?
Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Default | Euphemisms | Food | Guys | Philosophy | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Words | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Thinking, I'm Thinking!
Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm... I'm not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]
Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.
Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Class | Crimes | New Jersey | Philosophy | Pregnancy | Questions | Stomach | Students | Teachers | Violence | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'd Be Wide Awake, but Our Cards Would Be Stained
Guy playing magic card game with a bunch of friends: All I'm saying is that somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a table producing coffee!
Clark College
Vancouver, Washington
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Philosophy | Technology | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Need Lipstick for Medicinal Purposes
College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I'm all for feminism, but I don't like carrying heavy things.
Target
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Kay-ren
Categories: Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Girls | Maryland | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Sorority types | Stores | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good Point --No Effect on Religious Beliefs
Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?
Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself
Categories: Bimbettes | Class | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Education | History | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Questions | Religion | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Need a Longer Break, "Fluffy Pink Clouds 101" Is Right Down the Hall
Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let's all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Insults | New York | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well He Was French
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can't let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]
Philosophy professor: It's not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
He Doesn't Go Very Far In
Young fashionista #1: How do you stay so positive?
Young fashionista #2: Oh, you know, I just don't let the bad stuff in.
Young fashionista #1: What about Pedro?
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: paparazzi
Categories: Brazil | Comebacks | Default | Hipsters | Office politics | Philosophy | Sex | Zombies | Posted 2008-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, Now Tell Me How You Know That
Male fashionista: Deepness is just a less shallow superficiality.
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: paparazzi
Categories: Brazil | Default | Guys | Philosophy | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Wouldn't Believe Some of the Shit I Saw in the Womb
30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain't nothin' like I ever seen before.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Black people | Default | Gripes | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Women | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All You Ladies Need to Do Is Dab Some Beer behind Your Ears and You're Set
Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn't get you sex. All the men aren't going to be like, 'Oooh, Prada bag!'
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Fashion | Illinois | Philosophy | Questions | Sex | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Intelligent Design Theorists Date
Girl to guy making out with her at bar: So, do you want my phone number?
Guy: If it was meant to be, I'll guess it.
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: The Scandinavian
Categories: Guys | Kansas | Philosophy | Posted 2008-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Only Sleep with Men You Love
Girl #1: I just don't think I'll ever have sex without a condom.
Girl #2: Oh, please -- that's like saying you're going to wait until marriage.
Mia's Mexican Restaurant
Dallas, Texas
Categories: Chicks | Philosophy | Sex | Texas | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After That, Sex Got a Lot More Comfortable
20-something artist dude in loin cloth: ... And then I realized -- it's not about the panties at all!
Burning Man
Black Rock Desert, Nevada
Overheard by: lith
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Nevada | Philosophy | Posted 2008-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Amazing the Americans Didn't Do It First
Guy #1: Neil, you okay? Are you drunk?
Guy #2: Nah, I'm fine. I've just taken all the effort out of walking.
Oban, Argyll
Scotland
Categories: Guys | Philosophy | Scotland | Posted 2008-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How China Got Ahead of Us
Man: I never let anyone I owe money to walk behind me.
Hancock Street, Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Posted 2008-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Know How My Bukkake Partners Feel
Girl to friend: I feel like a giant pen... that spilt its ink on the world.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Yours truly
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at BU | Philosophy | Posted 2008-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Everyone Knows That
Jock: Diversity is an old, old wooden ship.
Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ship's Captain
Categories: Canadia | Jocks | Philosophy | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Instead of Just White People, Like Normal
Drunk queer: There are so many people in the world -- especially when you factor in everyone.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: I'd say that's the best way to do it
Categories: Drunks | Philosophy | Virginia | Posted 2007-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good at What, Exactly?
Statistics professor: If you're not good-looking, you'd better be good; and if you're not good, you'd better be rich... Oh, I'm sorry. It's true, but I'm still sorry.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: me in cas b12
Categories: Advice | Overheard at BU | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If Bad Grammar Were the New Good Grammar...
Guy: Man, if failing was the new pass, I'd be doing so good.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lauren
Categories: Idiots | Overheard at Western | Philosophy | Posted 2007-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, It's Gonna Be All Pissy Regardless
Student to another: Well, maybe the urinal wanted to be dried. Did you ever think about that?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Trying to Teach Here
Categories: Philosophy | Questions | Students | Texas | Posted 2007-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
New York Children Have Difficulty Fitting In Abroad
Teacher reading story to class: Little Bear hurt his head, and Big Bear kissed it better. Little Bear hurt his foot, and Big Bear kissed it better...
Six-year-old: Well, shit happens.
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Australia | Kids | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: I Hate Anybody Smarter Than Me
Dude: I have lots of friends in anarchist groups.
Chick: Doesn't an organized group of anarchists kind of defeat the purpose?
Dude: ... You're gay!
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Friends | Insults | Philosophy | Posted 2007-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Totally Unrelated News, Party at My House Tonight
Professor: It's like giving kids gateway drugs, but for the greater good.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Question Was, "Can You Make a Living from Psychoanalysis?"
Guest professor on psychoanalysis, responding to student question: It will be like... Shit equals penis equals money.
Graduate Literature Theory class
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I heart grad school
Categories: Canadia | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whatever Would Assure You I'm Not a Stalker
Girl on date: That's what I don't understand about dating -- if I really like someone, I'm not going to wait to call them. Like, I would totally call you tomorrow.
Boy on date: [Silence.]
Girl on date: Or, you know, whenever...
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Andrea P.
Categories: Chicks | Philosophy | Utah | Posted 2007-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Everybody Is on the Phone All the Time
Chick #1: Sometimes when I call a lot of people in a row and no one answers, I wonder if I could be dead and just not know it.
Chick #2: Well, it does happen...
Lafayette, Louisiana
Overheard by: Stephanie
Categories: Chicks | Louisiana | Philosophy | Posted 2007-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Send Him to Sleepaway Camp
Middle-aged guy #1: So, Hulk Hogan's daughter was what -- 16 when that show started? Now she must be 19, and she's dating a 30-year-old?
Middle-aged guy #2: If you're old enough to drive when you're 16 and you're old enough to die for your country when you're 18, then you're old enough to make your own decisions.
Middle-aged guy #1: You know, half of those kids that died in World War II never got to experience life as we know it. They were all probably 17-year-old virgins from Iowa.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shit, if I had a kid, I'd take him to a whorehouse in Texas as soon as he turned thirteen.
18 bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Are you experience?
Categories: Guys | Philosophy | Washington | Posted 2007-11-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Made-Up Countries, Like Norway.
Teen girl: I don't know -- it just seems like everyone's in the Olympics now.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: snooper
Categories: Canadia | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2007-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Republican National Convention Is No Exception
Cop: It's not a party 'til the shirts come off.
Hilton Hotel
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Neon
Categories: Cops | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're a Very Smart and Talented Individual.
Hot nerd chick: So, I didn't sleep with him. He was just too attractive -- I'd feel self-conscious.
Friend: But hot girls sleep with ugly guys all the time! It's your duty to even the score.
Hot nerd chick: Yeah... Wait, you think I'm ugly?
Joplin, Missouri
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Missouri | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Does It Take to Get Kids to Eat Vegetables Nowadays?
Man on cell: Maybe if I painted it white and drew a filter on it, she'd let me put it in her mouth.
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Mark Smith
Categories: Kansas | On the phone | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Things Are Very Different in California
Sobbing child: It's not fair! That's mine!
Little bully: So what? Don't cry about it. You're being so dumb.
Sobbing child: I'm upset! It's okay for me to cry sometimes!
Preschool
Santa Barbara, California
Categories: California | Kids | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Certainly Could...
Chick #1: But you know, a lot of the things written in the Bible did come true.
Chick #2: Oh, that's a bullshit argument: I can say that Nosferatu's prophecies also came true!
The Laughing Goat
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: the french Draculla
Categories: Chicks | Colorado | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Resist, Brothers, with Your Last Bit of Strength!
Kid: Reading isn't natural.
Taco Del Mar
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: with a friend, listening to her kid talk with another kid
Categories: Philosophy | Should have used a condom | Washington | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"... And I Think My Back Is Broken"
Freshman girl: I guess I always thought the perfect man would just fall from the sky and say, 'Hi, I'm your husband!'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the jankster
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing's More American Than a Faulty Syllogism
Guy: No one in America uses pennies anymore!
Girl: I use pennies...
Guy: Then you're not American!
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: nicklesg
Categories: Friends | New York | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Hummer
Bartender: I can't believe she rides her bike to work.
Waitress: Well, she lives just around the corner.
Bartender: I don't care. If I lived in the parking lot, I would still drive to work.
Phoenix, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Bartenders | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or the Poor Baby Jesus
Amused girl: Okay, so the dog sits on the hay but it doesn't want to eat the hay. Meanwhile, it pees on the hay and leaves its doggy smell on the hay... Now, the horse comes along and wants to eat the hay, but the hay smells of doggy piss so the horse can't eat it... You, my dear, are the horse. Haha!
Annoyed girl: At least I'm not the piss.
Florida
Categories: Florida | Friends | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and We Can Swap Clothes
Guy: I think the reason I'm attracted to lesbians is their indifference to men.
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: Guys | Overheard at Stanford | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Just Bought All Those Staples for Nothing?
Bimbette: Sex makes everything so complicated. Seriously, I'm going back to being a virgin.
Friend: Honey, you're never going to be a virgin again. It's impossible.
Bimbette: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Bimbettes | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When You Live in Your Parents' Basement Apartment
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It's amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
Categories: California | Philosophy | Stoners | Posted 2007-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Little-Known Provision of the USA PATRIOT Act
Umpire to catcher and kicker during kickball game: Now, legally you're allowed to pants each other.
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Satsuki
Categories: Guys | Philosophy | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, with Superstrings Attached
Guy #1: My lady friend is telling me that I'm never going to get any until I have a nice, big bed at home.
Guy #2: There might be something to that. I read this book called If the Buddha Dated, and I think it talked about us first needing a spiritual nest or something like that.
Guy #1: What? So now I'm supposed to believe in quantum pussy?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Guys | Overheard in PDX | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Something I'd Much Rather Read About
Drunk girl: You don't read?!
Guy: No. I think you should live life, not read about it in a book.
Drunk girl, slowly: I find that worse than being fucked up the ass.
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Drunks | Missouri | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Swaying Slightly Until I'm Fatigued
Fat guy wearing velour muumuu top: I don't have a wife or kids to support, so I don't feel a burning need to earn an income. I can focus on what feels healthy, what makes me happy... Like dancing.
Coffee shop
Portland, Oregon
Categories: Fat people | Oregon | Philosophy | Posted 2007-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not Even If One of Them Is on Your Head
Teen on cell: It doesn't matter! Two pairs of underwear does not equal one pair of pants!
Michigan State University
Lansing, Michigan
Categories: Michigan | On the phone | Philosophy | Undies | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Can Enlighten Me Anytime!
Asian Visual Studies professor: Why is the lotus flower significant in Buddhist art? The lotus comes from this muddy, icky swamp water, and then it pops up and blooms really big and it's just beautiful, and you can't believe something so beautiful could have come from this ugly place -- it's sort of like Liv Tyler, actually.
UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: California | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Holy Shit, I Never Thought of It That Way
Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they're expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven't you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!
Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts
Categories: Cum | Gym rats | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Posted 2007-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Michael Moore As a Kid
Eight-year-old boy: Don't you know that the Kool-Aid Man doesn't exist?! He's just a tool for marketing!
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Categories: Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless They Were Capri Pants
Philosopher: The world would be a better place if everyone wore pants.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in PDX | Philosophy | Posted 2007-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Just Staple Your Arm Back on and Quit Complaining
Old man: If you're having sex twice a day, you don't need to go to the doctor!
IHOP
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Breanne S.
Categories: Oklahoma | Old folks | Philosophy | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Cannibalism Is My Anti-Drug!
Professor: I don't care what you say, there's nothing worse than eating a baby.
Community college
North Carolina
Overheard by: First row fanboy
Categories: North Carolina | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the International Conference of Freudians Orders Tons of Them Every Year
Professor: You'd have to be quite clever to make people care about Polish sausages.
Texas Woman's University
Denton, Texas
Categories: Philosophy | Teachers | Texas | Posted 2007-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
High School Cafeteria Goes Up in Flames, Population Scientists Say, "Excellent!"
Chick: Look, if you're out sniper-ing hobos, it's not assassination!
Boyfriend: Nope, it's population control.
High school cafeteria
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Couples | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
According to This Fortune Cookie
Extremely drunk man: You know, I don't think prime numbers are going to introduce us to aliens... But I think Chuck Berry will.
The Old Hole
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: E
Quite The Contrary
Hoochie to another: Just because you're a slut doesn't mean you have dibbs!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle
Categories: Hoochies | Oregon | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Survive, It Starts Tilting the Other Way in Your 30s
Teen girl #1: Isn't that, like, dangerous?
Teen girl #2: Well, yeah, but I'm at the point in my life where getting wasted is more important than not dying.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, We All Want That
Tween boy: Yeah! Yeah! I get what you're saying! Every age group has something to look forward to. 16-year-olds want to drive, 21-year-olds want to drink, people in their 30s want kids, and you, Grandma -- you want to die.
Older sister: Uh... I don't think that was quite the point...
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Stuckinthecity
Categories: Michigan | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Forgot to Bring Breadcrumbs
Park ranger on horseback to another: We have to stay inside the perimeter or else... [thoughtful pause]... we will be outside the perimeter.
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: three amigas
Categories: Idiots | Philosophy | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By Cutting a Hole in Your Pancreas and Thrusting Mercilessly
Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.
Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: random person
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Massachusetts | Philosophy | Posted 2007-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Says She's Saving All That for Marriage
Preppy chick: I've never seen her pee in a bush or even fart or anything. It's like I only know her on one level, you know?
Harvard Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | Philosophy | Preppies | Posted 2007-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Subtle Distinction, but an Important One
Man: That's not love; that's getting drunk and waking up naked in a barn.
Boise, Idaho
Categories: Guys | Idaho | Philosophy | Posted 2007-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What with All of the Licensing Revenue
Teen chick: You know, as long as there wasn't an intergalactic war or anything, I think it would be really cool to be an Ewok.
High school
New Zealand
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: New Zealand | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2007-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Second Grade Is a Jungle
Seven-year-old boy: Just because he's a kid doesn't mean he should not have to moisturize his hair.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: sandy
Categories: Kids | Philosophy | Texas | Posted 2007-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Commit a Heinous Crime and Come Talk to Me
Loud grad student in restaurant: I don't know why anyone would want to be a relativist when they could be an expressivist!
Overheard by: Monkey
Categories: Philosophy | Restaurants | Students | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the Pilot Episode of Ugly Friends
Co-ed: This is just like a Friends episode, except we're all ugly.
Poolside
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Jenn
Categories: Missouri | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Was That Nietzsche?
Man to another, letting him board bus first: I always say, 'Age before beauty.'
Bus driver: I always say, 'Somebody get on the damn bus.'
Bus, Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Categories: Bus drivers | Illinois | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pass Me the Sports Page, Would Ya?
Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it -- you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam -- you're shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Hobos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Ass-Maintenance 101 Was All Full This Semester
Male student: My GPA doesn't mean shit if I can't wipe my own ass, you know?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Overheard in Philly | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Like 'Em Cold and Unresisting
Loud chick: You don't kill someone you are trying to have sex with.
Movie theater
Australia
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Australia | Chicks | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He and the Cat Have Never Been in a Room at the Same Time
Queer: I love my boyfriend, but I really think he might be a shapeshifter.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Categories: Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Queers | Posted 2007-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What You Never Knew about the Last Supper
Hipster chick: You know, you can tell it's a good party by how many people get their stomachs pumped, and whether or not Mark gets naked.
Friend: Totally.
Starbucks
Virginia
Categories: Hipsters | Philosophy | Virginia | Posted 2007-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fat People: Can't Argue. Eating.
Queer: If gay people can't get married then fat people shouldn't be allowed to have lunch breaks!
Carson Street
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Cassie
Categories: Indiana | Philosophy | Queers | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Secret? I Like Forcible Sex
Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist... I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist... [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I'm sure you are really very nice!
King's Cross Night Bus
London
England
Overheard by: Andrea
Categories: Drunks | England | Philosophy | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Credo We Enforce with Artillery
Girl on cell: If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texas.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | On the phone | Philosophy | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then You Get the Lifetime Channel
Quiet girl: Girls are like, 'Let's play house,' boys are like, 'Let's fight each other,' and you put them together and you get domestic abuse.
Language in Society class
Maryland
Categories: Maryland | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And If You're Asking Who's a Better Rationalizer...
Girl to friends: I mean, if you're talking about who he's technically going out with, then she's the girlfriend and I'm the other woman. But, I mean... If you're talking about who he confides in more, I'm the girlfriend and she's the other woman.
Dobbs Ferry, New York
Overheard by: Lex
Categories: Chicks | New York | Philosophy | Relationships | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which I Do to Make Getting Pregnant Fun
Girl: That's totally the last time I'm getting pregnant. It takes all the fun out of drinking!
RFK Stadium Metro Station
Washington, DC
Categories: Hoochies | Philosophy | Pregnancy | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then You'll Hate Gay-Porn Method Acting
Chick: I don't like processes... and anal things.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: twombly
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Way to Be Empathetic, Bitch
College girl #1: You know how you tell yourself, 'It's okay to spend a lot of money on clothes, because then I won't have enough money to buy food so I'll be able to fit into my clothes'?
College girl #2: I never tell myself that.
College girl #1: Oh. Well, I do.
Newbury Street boutique
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Psh, What Isn't?
Drunk girl: Passing out when you're drunk is so much better than having sex when you're sober.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: BTON
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drunks | New Jersey | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's at Least Half Right
Sleepy girl: Sex is overrated... but sleep isn't.
Rockhampton, Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: shex
Categories: Australia | Chicks | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Messy, Uncomfortable, and Potentially Fatal
Girl: I honestly think anal sex is just as bad as fucking a guy with a girlfriend.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Overheard in Lake County | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Americans with Disabilities Act Says They Are Hot
Scholar: Handicapped people would be hot if they could, like, use their legs and stuff.
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Idiots | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Also That I, Like, Have a License to Practice Medicine
Chick on cell: I mean, I feel kind of dumb, like, registering to vote and, like, not knowing what's going on and then, like, voting anyway. But, I mean, it's cool that I can vote.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which in Turn Depends on Whether You Speak English or Not
Sororitard to business classmates: Well, I guess it depends whether you consider a dog a person or not...
Alabama
Overheard by: liz
Categories: Alabama | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Remembers Who Started It? The Important Thing Is We're Going to Finish It
Five-year-old boy walking past deli: Awww... Why do they have to kill chickens?
Seven-year-old sister: Because the chicken is the natural enemy of man.
Maryland
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
Categories: Animals | Other sites | Philosophy | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Genetic Engineering Has a Long Way to Go
Preppy freshman chick leaving dining hall: So, life decision for today: I want to become a Gummi Bear!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Anna Deaton
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Philosophy | Preppies | Students | Virginia | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Without Them, Donald Duck's Too Creepy to Be a Role Model
Guy: Once you've seen him in his underwear you want to be just like him.
Huber's restaurant
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Fashion | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Philosophy | Restaurants | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Am Willing to Pretend To
Mom to child: We are not buying food for imaginary people.
McDonald's, Redcliffe
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Ashley
Categories: Australia | McDonald's | Moms | Philosophy | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
