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Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn't exist. It's all in our minds. It's either hot or cold out, but what are "degrees" really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by... (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I'm going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad you're teaching us then...
Excited student: I got a B+ on my Nietzsche paper!
Friend: The one based on a Dungeons & Dragons joke?
Auraria Campus
Denver, Colorado
Nerdy freshman talking about philosophy: Well, it depends on what you consider real. Like is Spiderman real?
Kid sitting with him: Uh...
Nerdy freshman: Think about it! Is he?
U Mass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Guy: You know, I'm usually anti-slavery... Except when I drink, then I'm all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?
Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado
Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm... I'm not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]
Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.
Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey
Guy playing magic card game with a bunch of friends: All I'm saying is that somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a table producing coffee!
Clark College
Vancouver, Washington
College girl, handing heavy basket to boyfriend: I'm all for feminism, but I don't like carrying heavy things.
Target
Towson, Maryland
Overheard by: Kay-ren
Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?
Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself
Linda: Ugh, this class is so depressing!
Professor: Let's all take ten seconds to think about baby lambs to make Linda feel happy. [pause] Okay, back to Terri Schiavo!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can't let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]
Philosophy professor: It's not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Young fashionista #1: How do you stay so positive?
Young fashionista #2: Oh, you know, I just don't let the bad stuff in.
Young fashionista #1: What about Pedro?
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: paparazzi
Male fashionista: Deepness is just a less shallow superficiality.
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: paparazzi
30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain't nothin' like I ever seen before.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn't get you sex. All the men aren't going to be like, 'Oooh, Prada bag!'
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Girl to guy making out with her at bar: So, do you want my phone number?
Guy: If it was meant to be, I'll guess it.
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: The Scandinavian
Girl #1: I just don't think I'll ever have sex without a condom.
Girl #2: Oh, please -- that's like saying you're going to wait until marriage.
Mia's Mexican Restaurant
Dallas, Texas
20-something artist dude in loin cloth: ... And then I realized -- it's not about the panties at all!
Burning Man
Black Rock Desert, Nevada
Overheard by: lith
Guy #1: Neil, you okay? Are you drunk?
Guy #2: Nah, I'm fine. I've just taken all the effort out of walking.
Oban, Argyll
Scotland
Man: I never let anyone I owe money to walk behind me.
Hancock Street, Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl to friend: I feel like a giant pen... that spilt its ink on the world.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Yours truly
Jock: Diversity is an old, old wooden ship.
Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ship's Captain
Drunk queer: There are so many people in the world -- especially when you factor in everyone.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: I'd say that's the best way to do it
Statistics professor: If you're not good-looking, you'd better be good; and if you're not good, you'd better be rich... Oh, I'm sorry. It's true, but I'm still sorry.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: me in cas b12
Guy: Man, if failing was the new pass, I'd be doing so good.
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lauren
Student to another: Well, maybe the urinal wanted to be dried. Did you ever think about that?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Trying to Teach Here
Teacher reading story to class: Little Bear hurt his head, and Big Bear kissed it better. Little Bear hurt his foot, and Big Bear kissed it better...
Six-year-old: Well, shit happens.
Sydney
Australia
Dude: I have lots of friends in anarchist groups.
Chick: Doesn't an organized group of anarchists kind of defeat the purpose?
Dude: ... You're gay!
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Professor: It's like giving kids gateway drugs, but for the greater good.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Guest professor on psychoanalysis, responding to student question: It will be like... Shit equals penis equals money.
Graduate Literature Theory class
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I heart grad school
Girl on date: That's what I don't understand about dating -- if I really like someone, I'm not going to wait to call them. Like, I would totally call you tomorrow.
Boy on date: [Silence.]
Girl on date: Or, you know, whenever...
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Andrea P.
Chick #1: Sometimes when I call a lot of people in a row and no one answers, I wonder if I could be dead and just not know it.
Chick #2: Well, it does happen...
Lafayette, Louisiana
Overheard by: Stephanie
Middle-aged guy #1: So, Hulk Hogan's daughter was what -- 16 when that show started? Now she must be 19, and she's dating a 30-year-old?
Middle-aged guy #2: If you're old enough to drive when you're 16 and you're old enough to die for your country when you're 18, then you're old enough to make your own decisions.
Middle-aged guy #1: You know, half of those kids that died in World War II never got to experience life as we know it. They were all probably 17-year-old virgins from Iowa.
Middle-aged guy #2: Shit, if I had a kid, I'd take him to a whorehouse in Texas as soon as he turned thirteen.
18 bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Are you experience?
Teen girl: I don't know -- it just seems like everyone's in the Olympics now.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: snooper
Cop: It's not a party 'til the shirts come off.
Hilton Hotel
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Neon
Hot nerd chick: So, I didn't sleep with him. He was just too attractive -- I'd feel self-conscious.
Friend: But hot girls sleep with ugly guys all the time! It's your duty to even the score.
Hot nerd chick: Yeah... Wait, you think I'm ugly?
Joplin, Missouri
Man on cell: Maybe if I painted it white and drew a filter on it, she'd let me put it in her mouth.
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Mark Smith
Sobbing child: It's not fair! That's mine!
Little bully: So what? Don't cry about it. You're being so dumb.
Sobbing child: I'm upset! It's okay for me to cry sometimes!
Preschool
Santa Barbara, California
Chick #1: But you know, a lot of the things written in the Bible did come true.
Chick #2: Oh, that's a bullshit argument: I can say that Nosferatu's prophecies also came true!
The Laughing Goat
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: the french Draculla
Kid: Reading isn't natural.
Taco Del Mar
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: with a friend, listening to her kid talk with another kid
Freshman girl: I guess I always thought the perfect man would just fall from the sky and say, 'Hi, I'm your husband!'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the jankster
Guy: No one in America uses pennies anymore!
Girl: I use pennies...
Guy: Then you're not American!
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: nicklesg