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Or Reject Gender Stratification
Five-year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men's room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that's why you need to learn to read.
Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina
Did That Come Out Of Me?
Woman in bathroom stall, on cell : ... That's just how it is... No, that's my pee you're hearing... Anyways, what did she say? Wait a second, I have to wipe...
Spokane Airport
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: wish i had held it...
Categories: Airports & flights | Etiquette | On the phone | Pee | Sensory experiences | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Could Be Related to the Drinking, But I'll Need to Do More Empirical Tests
Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] ... Yes.
Dude #2: What's wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don't know.
Lake View Terrace, California
Categories: California | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Pee | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Zeus Was Quite the Problem Child
Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]
Little boy #2: That's nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!
Macy's in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stephanie
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Florida | Friends | Guys | Kids | Malls | Pee | Penis | Sensory experiences | Should have used a condom | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Been Disgruntled Ever Since Discovering I'm a Bottom.
Fat guy: Sorry I'm late. Mr. Sphincter isn't being very co-operative today.
Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Etiquette | Euphemisms | Fat people | Guys | Health & Hygiene | New Zealand | Pee | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, I Told Her Not to Touch the Stream!
Little girl running back from bathroom with her father: Mommy, I got pee on my finger!
Perkins restaurant
Erie, Pennsylvania
Categories: Default | Girls | Gripes | Kids | Kids | Pee | Pennsylvania | Restaurants | Posted 2008-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... And I Love It!
Exasperated youth, holding water bottle: There's dinosaur piss in everything!
Tallahassee, Florida
Like on My Website
Asian chick: Oh my god, this huge, fat-ass raindrop just fell on my head.
Friend: You're a huge, fat-ass raindrop! You're such a fat-ass raindrop, you make people over-hydrated!
Asian chick, shocked: There's no such thing as over-hydrated! You just pee a lot!
Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California
Categories: Asians | California | Pee | Stupidity | Posted 2008-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Hamptons, That's a Marriage Proposal
Guy from inside Port-A-Potty: Oh, shit, I just dropped my BlackBerry in there!
Friend: Oh, man, what are you gonna do?!
Guy: Well, somebody's got to stick their hand in there!
Dude waiting in line: I think I'll use the other one. I don't want to be the first person to piss on your BlackBerry.
Rock the Farm Benefit
East Hampton, New York
... Or Saw Me?
College girl to her family: ... And this is where I peed last night!
Security guard: [Applauds.]
College girl: You think he heard me?
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Security Guard
Which Is What You Get for Forcing a Dog into a Tutu
Teen girl: Yeah... But, I mean, he peed on her! He lifted up his skirt and peed on her!
Hinsdale Central High School
Hinsdale, Illinois
Overheard by: Christina Newkirk
Shark: Hello, Sailors!
Dude: Hey, let's go find a shark and piss on it!
Navy Pier
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sean
And Now It's Dying
Toddler in stroller: I need to pee!
Mom: We just peed on the tree.
Davis, California
Categories: California | Kids | Moms | Pee | Posted 2007-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's the Scientific Name for That?
Girl #1: Oh my god, I just peed for, like, a hundred years.
Girl #2: Do you ever get scared that the toilet bowl will fill up and the water will touch your bum?
Girl #1: Yes.
Girl #2: Oh my god, me too.
Ladies' room, Fenway-area bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Pee | Posted 2007-11-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Where Were You at Ten O'Clock Last Night?
Philosophy professor: After all, is it okay to go pee out in the open in a public place like a park?
Girl: Wait, well... Like, when?
Boston College
Massachusetts
Categories: Bimbettes | Massachusetts | Pee | Teachers | Posted 2007-11-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Try Pissing Up a Rope, Then
Four-year-old boy: But Mommy, I don't need gravity! I just had to pee!
New Jersey
Categories: Kids | New Jersey | Pee | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Kinda Shake Myself Like a Wet Dog
Little girl: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom!
Mom: Okay, well, I don't think there is any toilet paper. You'll have to drip-dry.
Little girl: Okay! I love drip-drying!
St. Louis, Missouri
The First Time in a Spotless Twenty Years of Alcohol Abuse
Loud hobo with wet pant leg: I pissed my pants! I got to get home to my wife to show her I pissed my pants! I got to teach my kids how not to piss their pants! I can't believe I pissed my pants!
Washington, DC
Categories: Hobos | Pee | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lindsay Lohan Stars in Yellow Fever
Chick: Oh my god, Marissa! I just met a guy who's looking for a girl to pee on him.
Marissa: I would totally do that!
Chick: I know! That's why I told you.
Marissa: Let's go find him!
Nightlight Lounge
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Chicks | Pee | Washington | Posted 2007-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, Wash the Strawberries Out of Your Panties!
Teen girl #1: When you drink a lot of water your piss get really clear.
Teen girl #2: Nuh-uh! I drink water all the time and my piss is still pink.
Teaneck High School
Teaneck, New Jersey
Overheard by: southernbelle
Categories: New Jersey | Pee | Teens | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Harsh My Mellow
Woman to herself: I love the smell of the subway!
Passerby: You know it's primarily piss, right?
Consolação subway
São Paulo
Brazil
When the Line Is Really Long
Little girl pointing to handicapped sink: Mommy, do you know what that's for?
Mom: It's a sink for people in wheelchairs, honey.
Little girl: No! It's where boys pee!
Bathroom, JCPenney's
Forest Park, Georgia
Overheard by: Kelly
You'd Be Better Off Addressing Your Bladder
Drunken 50-year-old to his penis: Come on! Pee! Pee until you can't pee no more, bitch.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hiding Roommate
Categories: Drunks | Massachusetts | Pee | Posted 2007-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Want to Know Where the Dumplings Fit In
Chick #1: I'm telling her the dumpling story.
Chick #2: Which story? Oh, the one about how people get off on being peed on?
Chick #1: What?!
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Chicks | New Jersey | Pee | Posted 2007-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Know What That Sensation Means
Waitress #1: At least you didn't pee your pants like you did yesterday.
Waitress #2: I know, right?
Steak-n-Shake
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: pee bee
Categories: Ohio | Pee | Restaurants | Servers | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Asparagus Pee Is Forbidden by the Geneva Convention
Creepy guy: Hey, Joey*.
Joey: Yeah?
Creepy guy: Have you ever put pee in a Super Soaker before?
Joey: Yeah.
Friend: What?
Girl: Ewww.
Friend: What does it feel like if you're sprayed?
Creepy guy, shrugs: Kinda tingles.
Geography class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
I Fuck Them, Then Piss in Their Beds
Girl: I hated him so much I pissed in his bed.
Guy: What happens if you really like them?
Lincoln Park, Illinois
Overheard by: olly
That's Always One for the Scrapbook
Kid to mom in car with windows up: Mom! I peed outside today! Mom! Did you hear what I said? I peed outside today! [Mom doesn't respond.] Mom! Mom! I peed outside today! I peed outside today!
Mom, opening the door: Shut up and get in the car.
Kindercare, 196th Street
Lynnwood, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Categories: Gossip | Parenting | Pee | Should have used a condom | Washington | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doctor: Works Every Time
Cheerleader: So, I had this problem with peeing and I visited a doctor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheerleader: You can't imagine... He wanted to see the effect, so I had to pee in front of him while he's watching me doing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that happened to me.
Classroom, Montana State University
Bozeman, Montana
Overheard by: Awesome Naveed
Or You Can Take Advantage of This Special TV Offer!
Lady: Our cat used to jump up and pee on the stove. You can only imagine the smell of cooked urine.
Vet's office
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hortense
Categories: Crazies | Overheard in Philly | Pee | Posted 2007-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spigot
Dude #1: My urine is probably clearer than the water coming out of the shower. My penis is like a Brita, right?
Dude #2: Yeah.
Dude #1: So I'm practically peeing holy water.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Nik
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | New York | Pee | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken
Five-year-old girl, happily: ... And then I did it! I peed right in my pants!
Mom: Honey, you shouldn't be proud of something like that. You should be embarrassed.
Five-year-old girl, even happier: Oh, okay! I'm embarrassed!
Whole Foods
Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Categories: Massachusetts | Moms | Pee | Should have used a condom | Stores | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, You Sicko... He Was Just Jerking Off
Panicky chick: Did you make eye contact with a man pissing in an alley?!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Pee | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Only a Hall-of-Famer If You Still Scored
Guy #1: Dude, I'm really embarrassed. Last night I peed in her roommate's closet.
Guy #2: Hall of fame! That's hall of fame material!
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | Gossip | Overheard at Loyola | Pee | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
