Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

By 35, She Was Already Set in Her Ways

Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually "poop," but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.

Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Greeg

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But, for the Record, I Adore David Spade

Girl #1: She's pregnant? I thought she was on birth control?
Girl #2: She still is.
Girl #1: Isn't that bad for the baby?
Girl #2: Not really, all that will happen is if it's a boy, it will start looking more like a girl...
Girl #1: That's messed up.

Bathroom Stall, Nutty Irishman Bar
Farmingdale, New York

Overheard by: Jennifer

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Thanks, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome!

Mother, to three-year old in stroller: Oh, ha ha ha! You're retarded.

Paducah, Kentucky

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Specifically, a Fatty Boombalatty

Guy: I learned something... What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.

Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Ugly Children May Be Retrieved at the Lost and Found

Flight attendant: As we prepare to disembark, please check to make sure you have not abandoned any bags, personal items or children. All abandoned items will be divided up among the flight attendants, except the children, who will be given to the captain.

JetBlue Flight

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

As Long As You Don't Lie in the Same Bed Together, It's All Good

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Hey! I'm Not Dying Yet!

Drunk college student: What's up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla' at your boy.

Green Line
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: On my way to church

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Hello? You're Going to Accessorize an Accessory?

Teen girl, shouting: It is time to accessorize my baby!

Aurora, Colorado

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Why Kids Shouldn't Watch Cinemax After Dark

Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That's nice.

Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: this is why I don't shop at the gap

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But He Just Unchained Me from the Stove, So I'm Trying Not to Press My Luck

Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.

Mackinac Island, Michigan

Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Wonder If the Hospital Would Give Me a Discount If I Produced in Bulk

Black woman, to friend: I love Costco. It makes me like, want to have five kids.

Costco
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Can You Even Use "Oxygen" As a Verb Like That?

Male flight attendant: ... And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.

Southwest Airlines Flight #135

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And Won First Prize at the Science Fair

Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!

BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Drunk Girl

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Staples Does Have Everything!

Mom to screaming toddlers: No! You are the noisiest humans I've ever seen!

Staples
Franklin, Tennessee

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or a Sunburn. With Blisters

Guy: I don't mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.

Wisconsin

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