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The Aroma Was Strangely Heavenly
Guy: Jesus puked in your car?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Jesus | Names | Overheard in PDX | Questions | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Giving Head
Girl #1: Well, you know she gave that guy a blow job when three other people were in the room. Someone was bound to find out.
Girl #2: I've never even done it in front of people.
Girl #1: Me either, I'm not that slutty.
Younger girl with them: Oh, guess just me then?
Girl #1: You gave someone a blowjob with people watching?!
Younger girl: Uh, yeah. Back when I was 15 and drunk.
Girl #1: I'm your aunt: should you really have told me that, McSlutty?
Park
San Diego, California
Categories: Age and ageing | BJs | California | Default | Drinking & drunks | Family | Family ties | Girls | Insults | Memory lane | Names | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially the One from Little House on the Prairie
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what's your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter's name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | California | Comebacks | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Drunks | Family ties | Guys | Insults | Names | Questions | Servers | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Smart Travelers Postpone That Recognition As Long As Possible
Pilot over loudspeaker: It's 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to... Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!
Flight over Pennsylvania
Overheard by: And he's flying this plane?
Categories: Default | Names | Pennsylvania | Pilots | Plane | Public Transportation | Questions | US Geography | Weather | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Thought There Was Just Solid, Liquid, and Gas?
Student #1: I went to Mankato State.
Student #2, also a TA: There's a state called Mankato?!
University of Minnesota, Minnesota
How Can You Be Anal Enough to Label Your Speedos but Still Lose Them?
Voice over loudspeaker: Attention members. Will Arthur Sarksian come to the front desk? We found your Speedos.
24 Hour Fitness
Glendale, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
Categories: California | Clothes | Default | Employees | Names | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Is Hard To Come Across Jeans Already Faded
Guy watching Macy's commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Geography | Guys | Names | Pop culture | Questions | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like an Open Spirit and Three Hits of Acid
Teacher: What you get from Beatlerama depends on what you bring to it.
Science class
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: mollydear
Categories: Education | Names | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Science | Teachers | Virginia | Words | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fred Discovers Urine in the Ball Pit
Guy shaking his fist: Damn you, Chuck E. Cheese!
New Jersey
We're More Of a Honky Hut Family
Black student to white teacher: So we're going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there's Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don't think so...
Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida
Categories: Advice | Black people | Fears | Florida | Food | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | US Geography | Posted 2008-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes She Feels Like Wearing It. Sometimes She Doesn't
Big sister: Look sis! This coat says it was made in Macedonia.
Little sister: Isn't that a nut?
Macy's at Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York
Not Even in Back Bay?
Guy: Yeah, it's like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it's called, like... Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don't even have those in Boston.
Diner
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Missouri | Movies | Names | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | US Geography | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nas: It's About Time
Four-year old practising just before the pageant: Hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the New York king!
Church Christmas Pageant
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: thought NY was a Fifedom
Fine. Anyone Want Anything from the Sex Kitchen?
Girl #1: Nobody ever sits on it and I don't blame them.
Girl #2: You call it the sex couch, that's why.
Girl #1: I Febreze it!
Girl #2: And then you say that!
Brighton, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Names | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2008-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?
Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don't we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?
Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: drunkbigirls
I'd Love to See That Resume
Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is "Salad tosser"?
Arby's Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Employees | Euphemisms | Food | Georgia | Guys | Licking | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Words | Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since Barenaked Ladies Was Already Taken
Twenty-something dude: When I grow up, and learn how to play an instrument, I'm calling my band he-gina and she-nis.
McKenna's
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Age and ageing | Education | Guys | Maryland | Music | Names | Penis | Restaurants | Vagina | Words | Posted 2008-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean Geraniums!
Woman #1: Where did you go to college?
Woman #2: University of Cape Town.
Woman #1: Oh, is that in Virginia?
Woman #2: No, it's actually in South Africa.
Woman #1: Ohhhh, sorry, I'm bad with geometry.
Woman #2: ...
Woman #1: I mean geology!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Actually, that was my mom.
...Through Binoculars.
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I'm just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Ass | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Creepsters | Default | Education | Etiquette | Girls | Names | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Try Not to Taste or Touch Them, Okay?
Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!
Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Dawn
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Kids | Names | Politics | Public Transportation | San Francisco | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good to Meet a Gentleman Of the Old School
Dude: Hey I'm Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I'm Lauren*. We've met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other's name since we're talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Categories: Backdoor | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Default | Etiquette | Florida | Guys | Names | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: Telemarketer Abuse Becomes Olympic Sport
Telemarketer: Hi, is Mr. Sa-- Sama-- Samata--
Guy: Go ahead. You can do it.
Telemarketer: Sama-- Samthan-- Sermana--
Guy: You mean Mr. [says name]?
Telemarketer: Yes, is Mr. [repeats name] available?
Guy: Nope, sorry [hangs up phone].
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: amused girlfriend
Especially If He Were Standing Next to Me with a Machete
Guy on phone: I don't vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot... Well, yeah, if it was 'Killer,' then I'd definitely vote for him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Gripes | Guys | Names | On the phone | Politics | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Also an 87-Year-Old Asian Man.
Girl #1: Hey, I know you! Isn't your name 'Laura'?
Girl #2: No, not even close, actually.
Girl #1: Yes, it is. Your name is Laura.
Girl #2: No, it really isn't.
Girl #1: Well, it is now.
Friendly's
South Carolina
Categories: Default | Girls | Names | Questions | South Carolina | Posted 2008-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Hoping She'll Grow Out of That Once She Turns Five
Middle-aged professor, matter-of-factly: My daughter loves Stephen Colbert. She calls him her 'baby daddy.'
Art League School
Alexandria, Virginia
Though I'd Always Pictured You As More of a Titmouse
Suit on cell: Wait, while I've got you on the phone, what's your animal spirit name? ... Ah, 'White Wolf' -- of course. All right, see you then.
Coffee shop
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Baffled Bear
I'm Pretty Sure Bill O'Reilly Claims To
Little girl: Mom, why isn't my last name 'Christ'? Why doesn't everyone have the last name 'Christ'?
Hill Air Force Base
Utah
Overheard by: Wasn't his middle name H?
We Don't Want to Get Him Confused with Mommy
Six-year-old boy, about new kitten: That pussycat is crazy! He eats anything and everything... I mean, he was eating carrots! We need to give him a name... How about 'Food Kitty'? Or 'Pussy Eater'?
Mom: Uhhh, no. Not that one.
Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: jweils
If I Make It Seem Longer, You'll Feel You Got Your Money's Worth
Flight attendant, before takeoff: My name is Marynell. That's 'Mary' and 'Nell,' not just Mary... But that's probably too much information since this is such a short flight.
United flight 6056
Madison, Wisconsin to Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: archdiva
Categories: Airports & flights | Flight attendants | Names | Posted 2008-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even after He Put on a Polo Shirt
Guy: I knew a Japanese bloke once. He changed his name to Smith... Mind you, he still looked Japanese.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: O.B.
Categories: Guys | Names | Overheard Lines | Race | Posted 2008-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Brand Recognition Is So Important
Girl: In case they forget our names, they're right here on our vaginas.
1280 Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
That's Your Explanation for Everything!
Daughter #1: Mom, do you remember when we were little and we met that little boy whose name was Chelsea?
Daughter #2: Who the hell would name their boy 'Chelsea'?!
Mom: Well, they might have been oriental, you guys.
Columbus, Ohio
Unless You're Willing to Back It Up with a Spanking
Professor on first day of class: Hi, my name is Jerry Anderson*. You can call me Jerry, you can call me Anderson... You might want to call me Bastard Ass-fucker, but I'd prefer if you kept that to yourself.
University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
When Did You Start Making Popcorn?
Girl, after looking at friend's credit card: Wait, I always thought Orville* was your fake name.
Friend: Oh, honey, I have plenty of fake names, but 'Orville' is real. My family calls me J.R., though, because I'm the junior.
Girl: Oh! So Orville is your dad's nickname, too? That's weird!
Starbucks
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Chicks | Names | Washington | Posted 2008-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Bitch
Professor, calling role: Sarah?
Sarah: Here!
Professor: That'll be easy to remember. It was my ex-wife's name.
Sarah: [Looks uncomfortable.]
Professor: But don't worry -- I probably won't hold that against you.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Leia
The "My Little Pony" Gang Is More Vicious Than You'd Think
Chick #1: Oh my god, Latonya! You should've written down 'Bubbles'!
Chick #2: Bubbles?
Latonya: Yeah, that's my gangster name. I know it's not tough, but I still like it!
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: male student reluctantly forced into a group
Attention: Your Street Cred Has Been Revoked
Dude: Yeah, you know how it be. I'll check ya later. Yo, this is Tylenol, I'm out!
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gee and drew
Categories: Black people | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Taking It Seriously
MBA: The name of the class is 'Financial Statement Anal.' Looks like it'll be tough.
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Education | Names | Overheard at KMC | Students | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Fashioned a Blowdart Out of Lincoln Logs and Art Supplies
Male fencer: So, how's that new job at the preschool?
Female fencer: Pretty good. One of the boys in the class is named after a Viet Cong assassin.
Metro State College of Denver
Colorado