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Was That a Racial Slur?
Stoned girl #1, eating mint cookie: This tastes like Oreos.
Stoned girl #2: This isn't Oreos! It's... Oxford Creme cookie.
Stoned girl #1: Sounds like a pretentious Oreo to me.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Curly
William Shatner's Still Got It!
Student girl in beige Uggs: So, who was that guy you were with last night?
Student girl in brown Uggs: Ugh, well I don't actually know his real name, I just call him Captain Kirk, because he kinda looks like him, y'know?
Leeds
England
Categories: About celebrities | England | Girls | Names | Sex | Posted 2010-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Errol Is Human. My Dick: Divine.
Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
When You Stick a Key Into It, All It Does Is Sputter.
60-something tourist holding map, looking bewildered: So why is it called lemon chicken anyway?
Canberra
Australia
Jose's My Drug Dealer
Disheveled suit on cell: Hey, I've decided to go home and start drinking. (pause) Yeah, I think Jim, Jack, and Jose can help me work through my problems.
River North
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Illinois | Names | On the phone | Suits | Posted 2010-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Says Kids Today Have No Goals?
12-year-old boy #1: My hobo name is Rancid Earl!
12-year-old boy #2: My hobo name is Cracker Joe!
12-year-old boy #1: Hey, I wanna be Cracker Joe...
Middlesex County Fair
New Jersey
Categories: Names | New Jersey | Tweens | Wishes | Posted 2010-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Chinese for "You're Hot"?
Balding nerdy guy to cute Asian arty girl: What was your name again?
Cute Asian arty chick: No.
Pioneer Square
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: curtis martin
Categories: Asians | Comebacks | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Names | Questions | Washington | Posted 2010-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Smell the Plot Of a New Indiana Jones Movie!
Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she's either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut...
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Agreed
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Girls | Names | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Wokker, Texas Ranger
Student to friend: Of course meat and veggies on a plate aren't supposed to touch each other! If they were then they'd be called... Uh... Uh... Starsky and Hutch!
Hillerød
Denmark
Overheard by: ?
And They Know
Teen girl, incredulously: But you don't call a fattie "fat"!
Teen guy: I know!
Australia
Overheard by: PCGoneWrong
Categories: Australia | Diet & weight | Names | Teens | Posted 2010-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of the Perils Of Being Raised on AIM
Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shifty
Categories: Guys | Massachusetts | Names | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'll Happily Let You Ride Me in the Water
Man on cell in grocery store: As long as you don't call me "flipper," that's okay.
Gresham, Oregon
Don't Expect a Hungry Man to Make Sense
Man to woman: The name "Pizza Hut" is so perfect, because it has "pizza" in the name, and they sell pizza!
Busch Gardens
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Faye
Let's Hope She's Kidding
Guy to girl: So, do you call him "camp" for short?
Girl dead seriously: No, I call him master. He is my boyfriend, you know.
English Class
Tampa, Florida
All Teachers Want Is to Fit in
Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure... Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!
Nashville, Tennessee
Beverly Hills? You're Already There.
Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in... Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?
Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California
Categories: Asians | California | Geography | Insults | Kids | Names | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shuts Himself Off Like C-3PO
Girl #1: Vern's breaking down.
Girl #2: Who?
Girl #1: My car.
Girl #2: Oh. I was worried there for a second.
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Girls | Names | Technology | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Treat It in Much the Same Way.
Indian girl to friend: When I have a baby, I'm going to name it after my pet rock.
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amanda
One Of Your Editors Is Wearing a Cheers Sweatshirt-- True Story.
Guy to cab driver: I just want to go where nobody knows my name.
Cab driver: You mean Cheers, "where everybody knows your name"?
Guy: No.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Airports & flights | Conductors | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Of Hef's Kids Have Asked This at Least Once
Little boy: Mommy, can we go back to the giant trampoline where you said you saw sexy daddy?
Sedona, Arizona
Overheard by: J
Categories: Arizona | Names | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Weirdness | Posted 2010-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stop Wearing That Lavender Perfume and We'll Revisit the Issue, Okay?
20-something girl to gay male friend: It really creeps me out when you call me "grandma" when we do drugs together.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: MuffinW
Categories: California | Drugs | Fag hags | Family ties | Names | Queers | Posted 2010-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ignorance Stops Being Cute After Thirty, Though
Cute girl #1: Who's Hattie?
Cute girl #2: What?
Cute girl #1: Why do we have to help her?
Cute girl #2: You mean Haiti?
Cute girl #1: Yes, who is she?
Cute girl #2: You're so cute!
Dural
Australia
Overheard by: Hatter
If "Swaziland" Is Already Taken
Girl, looking at bag of coffee: Tan-zay-nee-uh. Hey, I didn't know that was a country!
(friends laugh)
Girl: That's a pretty name, I'm going to name my daughter that!
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
It's a Conclusion I've Come to After Many Years Of Self-Reflection
Guy to girl: I hate Asian people named Christine.
Drew University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Greg Everitt
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Guys | Names | New Jersey | Race | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Peristalsis? Beyonce? Linoleum?
Teacher: Okay. Quick review: which Greek gods did we cover on Friday?
Student, seriously: Hermaphrodite? Herpes? Asbestos?
High School
Michigan
At Least Call It the "Cocktagon," Dude.
Tipsy guy to friend: Of course I have a nickname for my penis. I call it "the octagon."
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Sick Fatty
Unless It Was in Vegas, in Which Case It Stays There.
Defense lawyer, teaching trial advocacy: But remember that in real life, nobody charged with marijuana possession is actually going to go to trial.
Law student: Last summer when I was working at the legal clinic I had a client who was charged with possession go to trial!
Defense lawyer: What? In fifteen years of practice, I've never seen it go to trial.
Law student: Yeah, the prosecutor was being a dick about it too--he wanted jail time.
Defense lawyer: Who was the prosecutor? Tell me his name, I'll tell you if I ever got high with him.
Law School
Canadia
Overheard by: Law student
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Crimes | Drugs | Memory lane | Names | Stoners | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Llama on a Cart You Can Wheel Around?
Loud lady on cell phone in philosophy section of a bookstore: Which Dali Lama book? They have a million. What's a Dali Lama, anyway?
Southaven, Mississippi
Overheard by: Beth Walker
Categories: Books | Mississippi | Names | On the phone | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So He Could Cut Up His Coke.
Confused junkie: There were these two Jewish guys called Gold and Frankenstein, and they gave Jesus a mirror.
Box Hill Central
Melbourne
Australia
And They Look Suspiciously Like My Uncles
Five-year-old boy: There are moles in my bed that are all named Leroy. They keep me warm.
Eltham
Australia
Overheard by: martinasnape
A Speak & Spell Finally Stepped in and Settled the Matter
Boy #1: Your girlfriend's name is Emily, right?
Boy #2: Kate.
Boy #1, shrugging: They're both animals.
Boy #2, agreeing: Both start with vowels.
Boy #1: What?
Boy #2: What?
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
But My Counselor Doubts I Can Make a Career Out Of It
Frat boy: They called me "the virgin detector."
Washington, DC
Categories: Frat boy types | Names | Virginity | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Time to Play How Long 'Til His Head Explodes!
French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie... Robin...
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay...
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?
France
Categories: About celebrities | Cell phones | Cops | Foreigners | France | Movies | Names | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, BTW, Would Be a Great Rapper Name
White guy: How do you pronounce your name? Is it "Ty"?
Asian guy: No, it's "Tee," as in "teabagging."
White guy: Oh. (pause) Wait! What?
Asian guy: Sorry, maybe I should have said "sweet tea."
Atlanta, Georgia
He Used to Just Be Known As "R. Kelly"
Girl, about her dog: Yeah... My friends call him "Facefucker."
Guy: What does that even mean?
Girl: It means he fucks faces.
Guy: Oh.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lauren
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Girls | Guys | Names | Overheard in PDX | Sex | Posted 2009-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Can Always Use an Extra Set Of Eyes
Teen girl #1, drawing faces on napkins with sharpies: Look! I named this one Mr Toastpuff!
Teen girl #2: Wonderful.
Teen girl #1: He's my best friend!
Teen girl #2: You replaced me with a napkin?
Teen girl #1: Well, you replaced me with a potato!
Teen girl #2: True...
Birmingham, Alabama
Well, As Long As You've Thought This Through.
Woman #1: So you're going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids "Messiah," and it means the same damn thing.
Alabama
Overheard by: Matthew Roberts
Not the Worst Pick-Up Line We've Ever Heard...
Guy: If I bought a handgun I would name it "Lady Boner."
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Is He on First?
Girl #1: You know every time I see Tyler Perry I think about the white Tyler Perry.
Girl #2: That's Steven Perry from Aerosmith.
Girl #3: That's Steven Tyler.
Girl #1: Well, I'm talking about the Tyler Perry from Friends.
Girl #4: That's Mathew Perry!
Cancun
Mexico
Categories: About celebrities | Central America | Compare and contrast | Girls | Music | Names | TV shows | Posted 2009-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Parents Are Native American. What's It to You?
Drunk guy, walking into bathroom: Hey, you are at my pisser!
Sober guy at urinal: I didn't realize your name was "push to flush."
Bar
Michigan
Overheard by: I wasn't looking
We're Happy to Help, Dear Reader
Girl: Dude, Wikipedia "Rasputin" and ctrl+f "penis."
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
This Would Explain a Lot About Our Foreign Policy
Boyfriend: I couldn't get a new movie. The good ones were all out. I got this other one, though. The guy told me it was really good.
Girlfriend: What's the name of it?
Boyfriend: Just Cuz!
Girlfriend, looking at jacket: You mean Just Cause?
Norwich, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Couples | Movies | Names | Questions | Posted 2009-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But We Honor Him Every Time I Buy You a Lap Dance for Your Birthday
Mom tourist: We're going to go see the Washington Monument, do you know who it's named for?
Son tourist: Yes, our first President, George Washington
Mom tourist: That's right. (pause) He's dead now.
Washington, DC
Categories: Death & dying | Family | History | Moms | Names | Questions | Stupidity | Tourists | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...You and I Are, Like, Soulmates!
Dopey girl #1: Have you seen the movie Sweet Sixteen? I mean, Sixteen Candles?
Dopey girl #2: Yeah!
Dopey girl #1: Yeah! Oh my god!
High School
La Jolla, California
Overheard by: God
Categories: California | Girls | Idiots | Movies | Names | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2009-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did I Stutter?
Six-year-old boy: Hey, look at this piece of bamboo!
Eight-year-old brother, taking bamboo, hiding it behind his back and then brandishing it like a staff: And now, with my mermaid magic, I pronounce you Sir Giraffetail! Ahoy!
Six-year-old boy: What?
Indianapolis Zoo
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Emily and Aaron
Dad's the Other White Meat.
Girl #1: So my mother says our dog is her "little sausage," so she's started calling him "pork sword."
Girl #2, laughing: That's got to be awkward!
Girl #1: Tell me about it! The other day my boyfriend thought she was yelling for my dad.
Cape Town
South Africa
So I'll Vote for Him, Too.
Middle-aged male Wasp: I'm voting for Wil Armstrong.
Middle-aged female Wasp: Isn't "Wil" only spelled with one l?
Middle-aged male Wasp: Uh, yeah.
Middle-aged female Wasp: That's kinda gay.
Denver, Colorado
Really? I Was Just Talking About You!
Girl #1: Oh my god, I'm so glad Sammy didn't come tonight.
Girl #2: I'm Sammy.
Women's Bathroom
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: I was in a cubicle. Oh, to have seen their faces.
You've Got Game If You Can Pick Up Girls at the Reading Room
Bearded old hobo: Heyyy, Cinderella.
Teenage girl: Um... hi!
Bearded old hobo: Want me to read the bible to ya?
Teenage girl: No thanks, I'm good.
Bearded old hobo: I know you are. (winks)
Outside Christian Science Reading Room
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Christianity | Hobos | Names | Offers and requests | Old folks | Teens | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know It's Time to Call Jenny
Mother to three-year-old son: Can I call you "my dear"?
Three-year-old son: Can I call you "my moose"?
Austin, Texas
Categories: Animals | Moms | Names | Offers and requests | Should have used a condom | Texas | Posted 2009-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, I Named the Breast "Sketchy Bastard"
Guy to girlfriend after late-night party: You name a breast after me, but you don't trust me?
West End
Portland, Maine
You're Wearing a Nametag.
Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since...
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four... five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!
Bar
Nebraska
Overheard by: allie
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Education | Names | Nebraska | Questions | Sex | Time Management | Yuppies | Posted 2009-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Rare Combination Of Stupid and Geeky
GameStop employee #1: No, dude, I swear, Puerto Rico was the 48th state.
GameStop employee #2: No it's not, dummy! Puerto Rico is not the 48th state. It was the 49th!
GameStop employee #1: Well, why don't I just look it up on my cell phone, I bet I'll prove you wrong. How do you spell "Puerto Rico"?
GameStop employee #2: P-o-r-t-o R-e-e-c-o?
Fleming Island, Florida
NewsFlash: Craig Kilborn Lends Name to Chewable Prozac.
Little boy in handicapped stall: I like you... I like you, Craig... You relax me.
Ladies Room, Barnes & Noble
Saugus, Massachusetts
Lonely Old People Will Answer to Anything
Boy, to teenage girl: Hi, Lisa.
Old man, entering: Hi.
Cafe
Eugene, Oregon
...If It Were Spelled with a Silent T.
Teenager: Hey, which terminal is baggage claim?
Airport employee: Terminal T.
Teenager: Wait...which one?
Airport employee: Terminal T. "T" as in "Charlie."
JFK Airport
New York City, New York
Overheard by:
Categories: Airports & flights | Employees | Names | New York | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Teens | Words | Posted 2009-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then I Found Out She Had an Anne Frank Fetish and I Was Like, "Whew!"
Barmaid: I was having sex with a girl, and in the heat of the moment she called me Frank. Which is horrifying, as that's her dad's name.
Pub
Surrey
England
Categories: Baristas | Bars & Clubs | England | Family ties | Names | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Given the Painful Inflammation Of My Chamber Of Secrets
Angry British guy on phone: My name's 'arry. No! 'arry! 'arry! Dammit, no! 'arry, like 'arry Potter! Thank you.
Girl nearby: You just made my life a little better.
Arizona
Overheard by: Meg:)
Categories: Arizona | Books | Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Names | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Penny-Pinchers Are Born, Not Made.
Little girl reading plastic bag: "Value village." Value village? Do you know what that is?
Mother: It's a store.
Little girl: It just makes me so happy.
Toronto
Canadia
Somebody's Husband Wasn't Properly Fed and Watered
Hipster girl to friend: I heard the most offensive thing in Crate & Barrel!
San Francisco, California
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Hipsters | Names | San Francisco | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, I'm Still Trying to Figure Out the Color Of My Aura
Girl to friend: There's a book you might be interested in, called What Color Is Your Parish.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: mine's ultraviolence
The English Won't Serve Pizza to Just Anyone
Mother to small child: So Paul just has to prove he's a woman now. So that should be fine.
Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: sneaking a peek
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | England | Moms | Names | Restaurants | Sexuality | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Thought All the Whack-Jobs Were on Capitol Hill?
Confused tourist lady, looking at anime convention kids in costume: Excuse me? Do you know what all of this is about?
Local: Yeah, the whack-job convention is in town.
Confused tourist lady: The...the..."whack-job" convention? (looks at costumes) Whack-jobs?
Local: (smacks forehead and turns away)
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Sarah Boyd
Categories: Default | Girls | Kids | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Stupidity | Tourists | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Wonder What Happened to Gumby?
Woman: He's called "The Anal Man." His ass can bend in 15 different positions. He's a big hit in Europe. (produces rubber toy)
Los Angeles, California
Sylvia's Whole Life Is a Word Problem
Annoyingly talkative woman: I got my pumpkin t-shirt at Old Navy eight years ago. I wear it every year. But I've only worn it... eight times!
Commuter Train
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: M@
He Caught Me and Said, "I Got You, Babe."
Random guy: I came out of the womb at Sonny's Bar-BQ!
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: heidi
He'd Just Gone Off His Meds-- Whew!
Girl: At first, I was really afraid he was cheating on me, but then I called him the next day and asked him where he was the night before...
Girl's friend: Well, where was he?
Girl: Oh, he was having drinks with John Lennon. I was freaking out for no reason!
New York
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Infidelity | Names | New York | Questions | Posted 2009-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Please Direct Any Questions to That Brick Wall Over There
Flight attendant, doing safety instructions before takeoff: Pull on the tab to inflate the life vest. If that doesn't work, blow it up manually. If that doesn't work...thank you for flying Southwest.
Flight over Providence, Rhode Island
Categories: Advice | Airports & flights | Default | Flight attendants | Names | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Rhode Island | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thankfully I've Brought Enough for the Class
Literature professor, after reciting Hamlet's "To be or not to be...": So now you all need a Valium...count on me to ruin your day.
English Lit Class
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Rosencrantz
You Bake Dogs?
Woman to friend: Is she aware that we have three Talbots and a dog bakery?
Princeton University
New Jersey
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | Food | Names | New Jersey | Questions | Women | Posted 2009-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sex with Livestock Is a Close Second.
Professor: Apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your name into the Bonnie and Clyde monument.
University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee
Overheard by: darkhorse
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Names | Teachers | US Geography | Wisconsin | Posted 2009-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Wonder It's Spreading So Fast
Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Airports & flights | Animals | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Questions | Sex | Teens | Posted 2009-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fucking Paperwork
20-something client: How do you spell "Matthew?"
Confused staff: Matthew? As in a person's name? Like "Matthew Perry" Matthew?
20-something: Yeah, it's my middle name and I want to put it on my resume. Does it have two t's or one?
Unemployment Centre
Ontario
Canadia
Wasn't This a Scene in Ghostbusters?
Middle-aged woman: The last thing I want to do is get hit by a giant Tastycake!
Princeton, New Jersey
Like "Melancholy" or "Pterodactyl"?
Student: What's "Nostradamus"? It that just some random, made-up word or something?
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
We Truly Went "Beyond"
Girl: I helped, too! I had an illuminating conversation with Sarah at Bed Bath & Beyond!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
...Aunt Brian Shops Here Before All Her Shows
Mother, digging through prom dresses on rack, to nine-year-old daughter: There's so much glitter here! Did you know that so many drag queens shop at Ross that they call it "cross dress for less"?
Nine-year-old, bored: I know...
Ross Dress for Less
El Cerrito, California
Overheard by: innocent bystander
So Another Good Thing Is, I'm Resourceful
Friend #1: We should all say something about ourselves. One thing good and one thing bad.
Friend #2: What about you?
Friend #1: Well, I have a good sense of humor. And I guess something bad would be that the other day, I slept with some person because I didn't have a place to stay, but in the morning, I'd forgotten his name...so when he went out his room I had to search through it to find some kind of identity card of his so I could pretend I knew it all along. His name was Richard.
Pub
London Bridge
England
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | England | Friends | Names | Questions | Sex | Posted 2009-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know How I Pine for It
McGill student in cafe, on phone: Don't you dare talk to me about softwood lumber!
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: j.leung
Or Why We Have Matching Engagement Rings
Male tour guide: So, this building is wh...
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Mike! (hugs tour guide)
Male tour guide: Hi...how are you?
Sorostitute: I'm great, but I gotta run, call me!
Mom in tour: I thought you said your name was Josh!
Male tour guide: It is...I don't know who that was.
Eastern Michigan University
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Employees | Girls | Guys | Michigan | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, This Is Applebee's.
Intercom: The store will be closing in 15 minutes. Please bring your purchases to the front of the store to the check-out line. We hope you enjoyed your shopping experience. Thank you for shopping at K-Mart... Shit, I mean "Wal-Mart."
Wal-Mart
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Caitlin
Categories: Default | Employees | Massachusetts | Names | Offers and requests | Shopping | Stores | Posted 2009-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Henceforth You Shall Be Dubbed "Boring Betty"
Professor, to newbie class: So...let's start with everyone telling me a secret about themselves so I can try and remember your names. You (pointing to student) start.
Student, tentatively: Ummm...I eat cold spaghetti in the morning?
Professor: Ewww! Fantastic.
University of Zurich
Switzerland
Overheard by: Stephanie
Moving on to the Case Of Muffet V. Spider...
Father to son in stroller: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; Humpty Dumpty hired a great lawyer; Humpty Dumpty sued the pants of the wall maker.
K Street
Washington, DC
Categories: Clothes | Dads | Default | Games | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Kids | Names | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Have You Seen the Al Gore Warming Plate?
College guy: So, speaking of Hillary Clinton and nutcrackers...
Anchorage, Alaska
We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you...because I am Osama Bin Laden.
Starbucks
New York City, New York
Categories: Character | Crazies | Death & dying | Default | Employees | Foreigners | Names | New York | Offers and requests | Restaurants | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The One You Held Hands with During Our Slumber Party
Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up.
Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara
Categories: Default | Frat boy types | Guys | Memory lane | Names | Questions | Restaurants | Students | Tennessee | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Much As Hanson, But Significantly.
20-something fashionista: Oh, the Spice Girls like totally changed my life!
Beverly Center
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Shabunapoodle
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Hipsters | Music | Names | Pop culture | Posted 2009-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, It's Two First Names.
Friend #1, totally serious: Wait, who's Ron Paul?
Friend #2, joking: He's an African warlord.
Friend #1, still totally serious: He can't be! Africans don't have real names!
Grinnell College
Grinnell, Iowa
Overheard by: Goron
But Mostly Because I Want to Use the Words "Ass Scope"
Suit #1: Yeah, I went in for a colonoscopy last week.
Suit #2: Really? How was it? Painful?
Suit #1: No, actually, with all the Demerol they gave me I don't remember anything about it...love that Demerol...so much so that I think I'll schedule another ass scope for next week.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Ken Lane
If One More Person Asks Me That Today...
Guy to table of friends: I mean, what would you do if you saw a hippo putting on ChapStick?
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: CJ
My Parents Are So Proud.
Customer to cashier: I love that name, "Sierra." My parents were going to name me Sierra Dawn if I was a girl, because they really wanted their last child to finally be a girl. But I wasn't. Now I use Sierra as my drag name.
West Hollywood, California
When Halloween Safety Goes Too Far
Bored school nurse: Valerie, do you remember the name of the little girl who ate the glowstick last week?
Elementary School
Utah
You'll Pick Up My Tab, Right?
Cute girl to suit: What are you drinking?
Suit: Absolut on the rocks.
Cute girl: I prefer Belvedere.
Suit: Are you trying to get a free drink?
Cute girl to bartender: May I please have a Chopin Martini, up with olives? (points to suit, then turns back to him) Go fuck yourself. (walks away)
Hotel Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: arrc
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Suits | Posted 2009-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...After Tuna Wrestling in Them.
Woman #1: I have to return some things to Victoria's Secret.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: I don't like the way they smell.
Sandusky, Ohio
Overheard by: NOT a VS smeller
Probably Mr. Marcus Doesn't, Either
Girl, pulling up in her SUV: Hey, Marcus.
Guy #1: Hey.
Girl: How ya doin'?
Guy #1: Good, good.
(girl drives away)
Guy #2: Why'd she call you Marcus?
Guy #1: I don't know that bitch.
Newark, Delaware
Just Show Me Two Forms Of ID and a Picture Of Your Coronary Arteries
Dramatic teenage girl: Um, we would like an Awesome Blossom, extra awesome.
Unhappy waitress: We don't serve that anymore.
Dramatic teenage girl: Yes, you do. Don't lie to me, lady.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
And You'd Think Jews Would Get Tired Of Being Portrayed As Victims
Guy, exiting movie theater after Defiance: The problem with movies is they always make the Nazis look bad.
Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | History | Movies | Names | Posted 2009-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then I Watched the Wheels in His Mind Go Round and Round
Woman to friend: He told me last night he had a baby girl named Traley. I asked him if that was short for trailer park.
Nashville, Tennessee
Free Clinic Waiting Rooms, for Instance.
Loud woman on cell: If you're looking for a place to make friends and be sociable, you can do a lot better than AA.
Supermarket
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: the cashier
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Names | Pennsylvania | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Too Bad He's a Gateway Drug on the Road to Rush Limbaugh
Student: I agree with everything Bill O'Reilly says.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Names | Pop culture | Students | Posted 2009-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Fact, They Probably Prefer It.
Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called "little people."
Preppy guy: When you're hiring them for a sex act I'm pretty sure it's okay to call them midgets.
Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Names | New York | Restaurants | Sex | Students | Posted 2009-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And We Hope Our Passengers in First Class Enjoy the Foxy Boxing
Flight attendant: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1751 to Raleigh-Durham. My name is John and I am your head flight attendant today. I will be assisted by my lovely fiancee Sarah and my ex-wife Jill. It may be a little awkward but we hope you have a pleasant flight.
Runway
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Default | Flight attendants | Georgia | Guys | Names | Plane | Public Transportation | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since My First Name Is "Whatta"
Blonde chick to guy friend: Oh my god, so last night the bouncer made me pull out like three pieces of ID because he didn't believe my last name is "Pansy."
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: sarah
And It Wasn't Easy Being Green
Trophy wife, very sincerely: I think that in a past life...I was Ralph Nader.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: lauren mcgoldrick
Like the Holocaust
Pessimistic non-racist : I can't remember what Jamal Lewis did to go to prison for, but when he got out, he was a different running back.
Optimistic racist: I'm sure it was some kind of misunderstanding.
Point Comfort, Texas
So I've Given Up Country Music
Supermarket cashier: I only use Charmin toilet paper; if a place doesn't have it, I bring my own.
Customer: Wow, you're picky.
Supermarket cashier: I'm picky about my men too; they have to have all of their teeth.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Body parts | Customers | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Employees | Health & Hygiene | Names | Posted 2009-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Cartoon Network-History Channel Merger Confused Everybody
Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
And Why Do I Continue to Have Unsatisfying Sex with the TA?
Professor: See, humans have what Aristotle calls "rational souls," meaning we use intellect. Humans ask questions that other living things can't, like "what is god? What is the divine problem? Where are my Nunchuks? Where did I leave them?"
Philosophy Class, UC
Santa Barbara, California
If You'd Like Further Proof Of Age, I'll Give You a Rant About the Price Of Orange Juice
Guy about to buy beer: ID? ID? I'm 56-motherfucking-years-old! I don't need no ID! (reaches into cart and pulls out items) Here's my damn ID! I'm buying hemorrhoid cream and Fixodent!
Winn Dixie
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: betsy
Oh, the Horror. The Horror!
Dudely dude: You know Heart of Darkness, by Marlon Brando...
Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York
Categories: About celebrities | Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Names | New York | Pop culture | Posted 2009-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Barack Hussein Obama?" Please.
Woman to thug in fur coat: Now, I don't even know your real name or your birth certificate name.
Thug in fur coat, puzzled: Most black people don't know each other's real names!
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: EmGusk
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Names | New Jersey | Race | Thugs | Women | Posted 2009-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We've All Seen the YouTube Video
Professor: You have a special relationship with Aristotle.
Dramatic Lit Class, Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Wish I did
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Names | New York | Relationships | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just a Little Tip from Me to You
Customer to cashier: A lot of people say the witching hour is midnight, but it's actually 3 am. I know this because I worship Satan.
Supermarket
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Um, Remember When You Tried That in the Pew at Your Uncle's Funeral?
Guy on cell : Yeah, dude, I got her tickets to the Met! $15 seats, so we're way up there, but we're on the aisle too, so we won't get interfered with while we're going at it. (a few minutes later) So the loss of my virginity is imminent.
Jersey City Light Rail
New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Nobody Even Pretends to Understand U.S. Politics
Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let's make a team name. Like...the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What's your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.
English School
Gifu
Japan
Categories: Animals | Asia | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Kids | Names | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2009-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This'll Continue Until You Whack the Sides Of Their Heads
Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I also like beans
The Roast Beef Glistens So Hypnotically
Guy: Where'd you go for lunch today?
Friend: Umm...I don't want to tell you.
Guy: Oh god, you went to Arby's, didn't you!
Friend, groaning: Yes.
Bar
Omaha, Nebraska
Guys Can Only Get Into Your Bar Through the Back Door
Teen girl #1: Do you still have your vCard?
Teen girl #2: Yeah. Do you?
Teen girl #1: I have a fake vCard. It's like a fake ID, but better.
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Amanda.com
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Names | Questions | Teens | Posted 2009-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe If You Were Close to Being a Rich Man
Hipster kid #1: Kelsey, have you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof?
Hipster kid #2: No. I'm not a fan of Tennessee Williams.
Hipster kid #3: Um, I think you're thinking of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
Hipster kid #2: Yeah, whatever. I was close.
Missouri Botanical Gardens
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: tennessee williams' groupie
Repent and Be Born Again Of Pepsi and the Spirit
Mom to cashier: And we'll have a water.
Little girl: But I want Pepsi!
Mom: We're getting water Pepsi!
Little girl: Yaaaaay!
Mom, winking at amused cashier: When you have kids of your own, water Pepsi is the greatest invention ever.
Medford, Oregon
He Had to Lay Off Most Of His Elves
Little boy in coffee shop: Mom, I want it, I want it, I want it!
Mom: Shhh, Joshua! Santa Claus is watching!
Little boy: Mom! Santa Claus is not watching!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
But I'm Reasonably Sure That's Where Your Dad Is from
Girl: Whoa...There's a band called "Asia"? Mom, is this what I was named after?
Mother: No, honey.
Branson, Missouri
...Which Was Letter "C" on the Multiple-Choice Exam
Professor, talking about Shakespeare's Twelfth Night: Well, Sebastian and Antonio have a pretty interesting relationship. It's kind of like, uh, what's the word...a bromance! It's kind of like a bromance.
Michigan State University
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Michigan | Names | Relationships | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Gone So Many Places No Man Has Gone Before
Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.
Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado
Categories: Airports & flights | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Movies | Names | Words | Posted 2009-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Encino Man Is Her Porn
20-something girl to another: I love hairy West Coast men. If they look like they haven't showered or shaved in a good week, send 'em my way.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
More Of a Sugar Grandpa
Older man walking into a jewelery store, to another: I'm not a sugar-daddy, am I?
Fashion Valley Mall
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Default | Family ties | Guys | Malls | Names | Old folks | Pop culture | Questions | Words | Posted 2009-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Intelligent Ever Follows the Word "Dude"
Indian guy: Dude...what if Shakespeare was Jesus?
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Asians | Christianity | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Names | Questions | Washington | Posted 2009-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fun Trying, Though
Confused looking girl: It's too bad about that, though.
Disappointed looking girl: Yeah. We can't make Owen pregnant.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Trying to not to laugh sitting beside them
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gender issues | Girls | Names | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Can't Stand the Heat, Stay Out Of Michaels
Motorist at detour: What do you mean I have to go around? I can't go around! What's going on?
Frustrated firefighter: Fire Department activity sir.
Motorist: What kind of Fire Department activity?
Frustrated firefighter: Arts and crafts, sir. Move along.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Pokey
Categories: Default | Employees | Names | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Questions | Words | Posted 2009-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Gonna Make Somebody an Annoying Little Wife, Harry
Roommate #1, watching Celtics playoff game: Is this the final four?
Roommate #2: No.
Roommate #1: Wait, when's March Madness?
Roommate #2: Are you fucking kidding me? Die.
UMass Dartmouth, Birch Hall
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jason
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Massachusetts | Names | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-02-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Getting All Verklempt Up in Here
Drunk girl: So she was teaching him Ebonics, and he was teaching her Yiddish...
Parish Cafe
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Education | Geography | Girls | Massachusetts | Names | Restaurants | Posted 2009-02-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The CIA's Predicting a Win for the USSR
Waitress to guy wearing a Soviet hockey jersey: CCCP? Who's that?
Customer: It's the Soviet Union.
Waitress: Oh, are they playing the Caps tonight?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
But Not in That Slightly-Homoerotic Kirk Douglas Way
Ice cream lady behind counter: Spartacus?
Man running to get ice cream: I am Spartacus!
Oberweiss
Oak Park, Illinois
And He Claimed It's Not Meant to Be Eaten Directly from the Jar
Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Default | Food | Friends | Lies | Names | Pennsylvania | Questions | Relationships | Women | Posted 2009-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except How the Lohan Family Has Managed to Survive
Woman #1: You know what I learned the other day? Social Darwinism.
(awkward pause)
Woman #2: Really? How's that working for you?
Woman #1: Well, it sure explains a lot.
Library, Arcadia University
Glenside, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Xander
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Names | Pennsylvania | Questions | Science | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He Prefers to Make Love, Not War.
Dude to chick: William Howard Taft. That's what I call my penis. Because he is large and in charge. And he got stuck in a bathtub.
High School Law Class
New York
Overheard by: Adrienne
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Names | New York | Penis | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2009-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Heart Zippy Unironically
Teen prep: Shell is a lot more expensive than GetGo these days. (later) I'm missing a lifetime movie right now!
Father: She's like Zippy the Pinhead!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shoppy
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Guys | Money | Names | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Students | Posted 2009-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Now, A Sponge? Dead For A Krabby Patty, Dead!
Theater professor: In Shakespeare's plays, SpongeBob would die.
Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Michigan | Names | TV shows | Teachers | Posted 2009-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Porn Overload Eventually Destroys Your Ability to Read
Customer looking up at menu board: Umm, I'll have the "German chock a lotta cock."
(girl scooping ice cream looks horrified)
Customer, now pointing: The "German chock a lotta cock." It's right there.
Ice cream girl: It's pronounced "German chocolate cake."
Cold Stone Creamery
Fountain Valley, California
Overheard by: RL
Categories: California | Customers | Default | Geography | Girls | Language barrier | Names | Offers and requests | Penis | Stores | Posted 2009-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some College Kids Handle Their Red Bull Addictions Better Than Others
Random guy: It's like I'm on the Pony Express or something...and I'm the pony!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Names | Posted 2009-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially When I Get So Drunk I Make Out with Girls
Butch-looking 20-something: I always have Bud Select, and I know it makes me look so butch.
Femme-looking 20-something: No, I don't think Bud Select is butch...I mean, I drink Bud Select.
Butch-looking 20-something: Yeah, but seriously, I know I look like a lesbian, and the Bud Select doesn't help.
Iowa
Overheard by: I assumed they were on a date
Then There Are the Brave Few Who Would Join Me on This Pole
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing...a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples--and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, "Eh, I can always drop the class."
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
Categories: California | Class | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Hair | Names | Nipples | Teachers | Posted 2009-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Early Elvis or Fat Elvis?
Clerk to another: And I woke up two days later by the pool, with Elvis.
Campmor
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Names | New Jersey | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I May Have Fugeed Myself
Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry-humped me and everything!
Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Eliza
Remember When I Did That at My Son's Bar Mitzvah?
Woman, urinating and talking to friend in next stall: I was holding my piss in for so long, my Kegel muscles could choke a chicken!
Memorial Hall
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Birds | Body parts | Default | Massachusetts | Names | Pee | Women | Posted 2009-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hate When My Electronics Have a Spiritual Crisis
Sad suit: I got my blackberry wet last night, and now it randomly calls rabbi Goldstein.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Default | Names | Suits | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yuppie Naming Conventions Apply Only to White People
Girl #1: Why the heck is her name "Brezelle"?
Girl #2: Well, she's African.
Girl #1: Oh.
Temple University, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Geography | Girls | Names | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2009-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But with Slightly Bigger Boobs
Girl #1: What does he look like?
Girl #2: The same way he looked when he was Catherine.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Categories: Character | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Names | Questions | Posted 2009-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aristotle's Really More Of an American Eagle Dude
Girl #1, leaving the mall: Go to Aero... Ari... Aristotle.
Girl #2: Aristotle is not the same thing as Aeropostale.
Girl #1: Then where did I...?
Girl #2 (interrupting): History. You learned about Aristotle in history.
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Overheard by: Ashley
At Least Wait 'til We Get to Dubai
Ten-year-old girl to passing adult man: What's your name?
Mother, scolding: Do you have to hit on every man you see?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
On Water?
Girl #1: You don't even like Jesus.
Girl #2: I don't like Jesus, but I like the way he walks.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Jesus | Names | San Francisco | Posted 2009-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But at Least She Felt Comfortable Coming Out to Us
Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.
Rural Staffordshire
England
...of Color
Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.
Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire
Categories: Default | Employees | Food | Names | New Hampshire | Old folks | Politics | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2009-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Good News Is, the Smell of Poop Makes Me Read
Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.
Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana
She's Very Victor/Victoria
Friend #1: Now all we need is a transvestite cop.
Friend #2: Don't worry, we have Katie!
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Default | Friends | Jobs & Careers | Names | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Obama Is Tony, America Is Maria, And McCain Is Bernardo
Professor: Let's move on...let's talk about Puerto Ricans in New York. And crack. And race. Well, let's start with Obama.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lovecollege
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drugs | Geography | Massachusetts | Names | Politics | Race | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And This....Surprises You?
Woman waiting for coffee: You know my sister is a Playboy model?
Friend: (blank stare)
Woman waiting for coffee: Yeah! She sends me the pictures. I mean, she's beautiful, but I don't wanna see that. And my brother, he looks at those!
Friend: (blank stare)
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: next in line.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Porn | Women | Posted 2009-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Survivor Finally Jumps the Shark.
Indie girl to friend: And then, as revenge, Jess urinated in her Nutella jar.
Train
Wollongong
Australia
As That Sign at Old Navy Clearly Indicated
Guy holding up green shirt: It's never too early to start thinking about what you're going to throw up on next St. Patrick's day.
Gap Outlet
Alexandria, Virginia
Thanks, Airfone!
Girl to friend: So on the way here, I joined the mile high club...by myself!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Colleges & Universities | Default | Euphemisms | Girls | Names | Public Transportation | Sex | Words | Posted 2009-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know It's Time for a Vacation
Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!
Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio
And I'm a Republican!
Professor: Well, I'm not supposed to state my own political views. (pause) Ah, to hell with it, I'm just going to say it: Sarah Palin is a complete fucking disaster!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Brittany
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Maryland | Names | Politics | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Wrong
Teen girl to friend: She doesn't even know what she wants! She just likes to text Scott because it makes her feel pretty.
Forever 21
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Yeah? Shalom, Baby
Black man, approaching black woman wrapped in garments with only her eyes visible: Salam Aleikum.
Woman: I'm not Muslim, muthafucka, I'm cold!
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Michael
While Black Eyeliner Is the New Jersey State Bird
Goth girl to friend: You have to know your ChapStick! ChapStick is the Colorado state bird!
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
In T9 for Two
Girl to friends in line for bathroom: That's going to be the next chapter of the book: Boys Who Text But Won't Have Sex!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Eavesdrop DC
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Names | Other sites | Sex | Posted 2009-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rosa Parks Was Definitely Chinese Though, Right?
7th-grade-boy to another: I didn't know Martin Luther King Jr. was black!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: scared for the future of education.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Posted 2009-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus He Brings Me Noodles from Afar
50-something woman #1: I think he has that Marco Polo thing.
50-something woman #2: What?
50-something woman #1: You know, when someone is like, really depressed one minute then really happy the next.
50-something woman #2: Do you mean bipolar disorder?
50-something woman #1: Yeah that's the one.
Liverpool
England
You Can Cut the Irony With a Knife
Guy: She's pregnant? Isn't she like 16?
Chick: So?
Guy: That's so ghetto!
Chick: So what? Every pregnant 16-year-old is some ghetto welfare mama? For all you know she could be a great mom! You're too fucking judgmental!
Guy: (stunned silence)
Chick: Anyway, she found out it's a girl last week. She's naming her "Sequins."
Toronto
Canadia