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No Sword Fights in the Library, Dude
Computer nerd on laptop: See that walking cucumber over there? (pause) Yeah, well, I have a magic sword!
Dartmouth College Library
New Hampshire
Overheard by: Madeleine
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Food | Magic | New Hampshire | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Though They Put the "Ass" in Potassium?
Guy: I'm going to sneeze!
Girl, getting in his face: Think about bananas! Think about bananas! You won't sneeze.
Religion professor: Just like thinking about bananas won't get you pregnant...
College
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: I like bananas....
The Priest Wants to Exorcissor Me
Guy with hat: Did you find out what it was?
Guy with dog: They think it's something paranormal.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Michelle Freedman
I See Rich People
Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money... (whispering) Ghost money!
Graveyard
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Death & dying | Ireland | Magic | Money | Should have used a condom | Posted 2010-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Didn't Spend 7 Years in Evil Medical School Just to Lose My Midget
Drunk gay guy: Where's my midget? I went upstairs and now I'm down here. Where's my midget? (checks under his shoes)
Feathers, New Jersey
Overheard by: K
Categories: Drunks | Magic | New Jersey | Queers | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Their Evil Is More Insidious
Kid, watching glockenspiel chime: Look mommy, a witch!
Mommy: No honey, that's a nun.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: natalie
Categories: Compare and contrast | Kids | Magic | Moms | Overheard in PDX | Parenting | Religion | Posted 2010-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Maybe Zack Efron Will Win an Academy Award
Seven-year-old child: How do they get sharks into Sea World?
Tutor: I don't know, maybe they use nets.
Seven-year-old child: Maybe a wizard waves a wand and lifts them into the tanks.
Tutor: Maybe.
Gold Coast
Australia
Ryan Seacrest Was Pissed, Too
Man: Yeah, so the whole night he kept telling us that he had trapped this "goblin" and had locked it under the stairs. So finally, at the end of the night, we went to go check, and found that he had locked a midget in the crawlspace.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Guys | Magic | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Posted 2010-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then We'll Rebuild the Engine in My Chevy
Girl #1, excitedly: Okay, this is where I leave you. I know you're going to forget all about this conversation when I go, but...
Girl #2, interrupting: No, no, I won't--I'm going home right now to google "demons" and "possession."
Girl #1, walking away: Right, good. We're going to make this happen!
Girl #2, heading in opposite direction: Even if everyone else thinks we're crazy!
Girl #1, vehemently, from across the street: It's all down to us, now! We'll exorcise that demon if it's the last thing we do!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Only if I can watch...
When Hillary Clinton Dreams
Man in trench coat to group of students: Follow me, and I'll take you to a magical woman.
Newport
Wales
Overheard by: Can I come?
Trust Me-- I Saw It on Ellen.
Nurse: We had the father bless the house when we moved in, but weird stuff keeps happening. I don't think the spirits are happy.
Secretary: Happy? You need the priest to exorcise your house! You want the spirits to be gone, not just happy!
Hospital
Burlingame, California
Overheard by: Just here for the paycheck
Categories: California | Doctor's office | Employees | Happiness | Magic | Nurses | Religion | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Time I Promise Not to Cheat in Front Of You
Crazy woman on cell: Yeah, you know, I just... I really think we're meant to be together. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I feel bad I lost you... (brief pause) but I mean I saw this psychic and she said we're totally meant to be, so yeah... (pause again) Well, I mean if you don't care that I slept with so many guys while we were together, maybe we could try again?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: aiden
Categories: Crazies | Feelings | Infidelity | Magic | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Its Subtitle: "I Was Too Drunk to Prepare a Lesson for Today"
Professor, pulling blue scarf out of pocket for magic trick: Now that... that is what I like to call... a blue scarf.
Villanova University
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Education | Magic | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Posted 2009-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Dog from the Old Navy Commercials?
Mom to adult daughter: Now what you do is you pick an aisle to go down that you think has magic at the end of it.
Dutchess County, New York
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
That's What You Said About Menstruation!
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, "electromagnetic waves"! That's a fancy way of saying "magic."
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
Did I Stutter?
Six-year-old boy: Hey, look at this piece of bamboo!
Eight-year-old brother, taking bamboo, hiding it behind his back and then brandishing it like a staff: And now, with my mermaid magic, I pronounce you Sir Giraffetail! Ahoy!
Six-year-old boy: What?
Indianapolis Zoo
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Emily and Aaron
Props for Not Drinking and Driving, Though
Drunk bus rider #1: Damn, this bus is always so slow!
Drunk bus rider #2: I swear, if I was a wizard, I would turn this bus into a rabbit... But that's fantasy stuff, and I'm not that into fantasy.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Animals | Bus | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Gripes | Magic | Public Transportation | Washington | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Edgar Allan Poe, You Get Out Of That Crypt This Minute!
Frowning little boy among kids running and playing: I wonder if this building is haunted. (pause) You should really keep an eye out for these things.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Fears | Kids | Kids | Magic | Washington | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bet You Don't Know About Her Meth Problem!
Mother: Do you know about the tooth fairy?
Toddler: Yeah!
Mother: No, you don't.
Fleetwood, New York
Overheard by: Deek
Categories: Body parts | Family ties | Kids | Kids | Magic | Moms | New York | Parenting | Questions | Posted 2009-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Desire to Flee Rochester Will Overpower Anything
Woman on PA system: Attention. Please disregard the call for wheelchair assistance at gate A-5. Repeat: there is no wheelchair needed at gate A-5. It's a miracle!
Airport
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Patty Astrolabe
Categories: Airports & flights | Health & Hygiene | Magic | New York | Public Transportation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This One Used to Be Magic, Until the Bookie Broke It
Dad balancing bird toy on middle finger, to seven-year-old son: This is dad's magic finger. He uses it when driving.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Body parts | Dads | Default | Family ties | Guys | Magic | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Posted 2009-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Breasto Change-o" Just Might Be the Highlight Of My Week
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, "breasto change-o, I just took your boobs."
Long Branch, New Jersey
Categories: Body parts | Default | Feelings | Girls | Magic | New Jersey | Teens | Words | Posted 2009-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Midnight It Turns Into a Pumpkin
Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.
Mall
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: girl with the magical booty
Oops, Sorry About Your Hair.
Cute girl #1: Hey, I want you to meet one of my best guy friends.
Cute girl #2 to male friend: Hey, nice to meet ya.
Male friend holding lighter, totally ignoring others: I can make fire! (shouting) I'm a goddamn wizard!
Johnson City, Tennessee
Overheard by: kiwi
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Guys | Magic | Tennessee | Posted 2009-02-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Just a Bestiality Fetishist?
10-year-old girl, excitedly, to 20-something woman wearing cat ears: Are you a furry?
GenCon 2008
Indianapolis, Indiana
An Army Of One
Guy coming out of bathroom: Dude, did you hear the angels singing?
Friend: What?
Guy: Man, that shit was magical.
Camp LeJeune, North Carolina
What Passes for Legal Argument in Australia
Goth lolita girl: I'm sensing some copyright violations in your aura.
Emo guy: Nuh-uh!
Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia
It's Whispering, "Your Friends Will Pay for Your Meal"
Girl #1 (pouring a cup of tea): Awww man, it's all the stuff from the bottom.
Girl #2: Oooh! After you drink it, give it to me and I'll read the tea leaves!
Girl #1: (hands the cup to girl #2)
Girl #2 (with a fake British accent): I see a hippogriff!
Guy: I did not just hear that.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Misaki
At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight
Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don't know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.
Druid Hills, Atlanta
Overheard by: Miranda
Portrait of a Man Whose Wife No Longer Wants Him
Little girl, after fireworks: Was that magic, Daddy?
Father: There's no such thing as magic.
Magic Kingdom, Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Emily.
It's Like Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boob!
College girl: My bra -- it's, like, magical! It mysteriously unclips itself throughout the day!
Fairfield University
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: GladMyBraIsntMagical..
Categories: Bimbettes | Clothing | Connecticut | Magic | Posted 2007-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Neocons Hate Being Called That
Frisbee girl #1 [of five in a circle]: Hey, we form the points of a pentagon! We could do some serious magic here!
Frisbee girl #2, to others: Please forgive her, she just joined a cult.
Idaho
