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What?
Father to son, on golf course: Yeah, while you were away I though about hiring someone to rape me.
Son: What?
Father: It's supposed to really improve your golf swing!
Eagle, Colorado
Ever Heard Of Grand Theft Autoerotica, Sally?
Nerdy frat boy #1: You know what we should do? Just go buy a video game, sit down, and fucking beat it.
Nerdy frat boy #2: Yeah!
Sorority girl, guffawing: Why would you buy a video game to jack off?!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Charlie G.
Categories: Frat boy types | Games | Leisure | Masturbation | Questions | Sorority types | Washington | Posted 2011-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Tree
Woman at Origins of the universe sequence at screening of The Tree of Life: We should have seen Bridesmaids.
Companion: Shut up!
Brisbane
Australia
Then Follow Me!
Screechy woman: We need to figure out what the frack we're doing for Canada day!
Quiet man: Probably sit around and watch the fireworks.
Screechy woman: Noooo, that's such a waste!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: I have the day off, yeeeaahhh!
Quiet man: (silence)
Screechy woman: Do you think pigs would eat other pigs?
Quiet man, after long pause: I really don't know.
London
Canadia
Overheard by: Watcher of Fireworks
Why Alcohol Exists.
Barman to another: I was looking forward to being miserable this weekend, but it seems to have turned out quite nicely.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Bartenders | Leisure | Other sites | Philosophy | Wishes | Posted 2011-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Love This Game!
Chick: Guess who's a lesbian couple again instead of creepy incest twins!
Washington Monument
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Girls | Leisure | Sexuality | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2011-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...the Last Time I Was Truly Happy.
Sexy baseball coach: I was shooting pheasants, naked, in Boise, Idaho.
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Saywhat?!
Categories: Animals | Leisure | South Carolina | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2011-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe Getting Some Hair Extensions
Elderly lady to another: I wonder what God's doing right now. Probably drunk, celebrating his 400th birthday.
Washingtonville, New York
Overheard by: Trisha
How to Enjoy Epcot: Explained
Man #1: Are you having fun?
Man #2: Yeah. Are you having fun?
Man #1: Yeah.
Man #2: Why?
Man #1: 'Cause this is the most sober we're going to be all night.
Epcot
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Maddie
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Florida | Guys | Leisure | Questions | Posted 2010-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Big Girls, Though
Ditzy blond: How many girls have you seen down there!
Ditzy guy with ditzy blond: Tons! Like, so many! (pause) Oh, okay! Fine! Six.
Great American Ball Park
Cincinnati, Ohio
The Curse Of IHOP
Man: There's Tucson for you, turning a great burger joint into a craphole.
Child: Yeah, I bet if you touched anyone in this restaurant, they would be sticky.
Tucson Arizona
Overheard by: Casey Stendahl
I Need My Face for Other Things
Flamboyant grad student, on ice skating: I went years ago... and fell flat on my face. Then I decided that I was too important for this!
Oxford
England
Categories: Body parts | Bragging | Compare and contrast | England | Leisure | Pride | Students | Posted 2010-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Was That the Time I Was Temporarily Decapitated?
40-something suit #1: So you remember when I was dying of melanoma?
40-something suit #2: Is that when you couldn't go on the golf trip with the boss?
40-something suit #1: Yes, that was it!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: MilwaukeeBabe
Categories: Death & dying | Jobs & Careers | Leisure | Maladies | Suits | Wisconsin | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The David's U.S. Tour Got Everyone Excited
Dude #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Dude #2: Well, I know I'm going to see at least one more naked person this weekend than usual.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Leisure | New York | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because I Sure Do, As Those of You Who Are My Facebook Friends Know
Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?
Guelph
Canadia
I'd Suggest a Rollerblades Tour
Fat American female tourist to new best friend: If ya didn't like the Vatican, you're gonna hate the Louvre!
6th Floor, Hilton Arc de Triumph
Paris
France
Overheard by: Pope Andrew I
I Mean, I Gotta Get My Orgasm Somewhere, Right?
Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn't get it up, so we just watched Schindler's List instead.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Erections | Girls | Leisure | Movies | On the phone | Words | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Let You Use It for Special Effects in the School Play
Chick on cell: Hey! I had a miscarriage! Wanna hang out?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Abortion | Colorado | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Leisure | Offers and requests | On the phone | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Crap --I Hate Eighteenth-Century Make-Believe
Nine-year-old girl, planning game: So he'll be the priest, and you can be the wet nurse.
Mount Vernon, New York
If Platitudes Won't Sway Me, Nothing Will
Guy #1: Well, they do say life's short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Australia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Leisure | Offers and requests | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Sure Hocking Your VCR Quite Counts
Thuggish teen to friends: Yeah, I'm going antiquing this weekend. For at least an hour.
Orange Line Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Scissors, Ipods, Horses, Pauses...
Dude #1: Hey man, wanna go get some things pregnant?
Dude #2: Um. What? What kind of things?
Dude #1: Just stuff. Whatever we find.
Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Guys | Jerks | Leisure | Offers and requests | Overheard at UMBC | Pregnancy | Questions | Sex | Wishes | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It Was a Planned Incarceration
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can't believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you're supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn't! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!
Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa
Overheard by: Casey
Categories: Bus | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Couples | Crimes | Euphemisms | Fat people | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Hoochies | Iowa | Leisure | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or A-Rod's Rod
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn't even see Derek Jeter's ass! ... Or anyone's ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Happy Birthday to You/ Don't Bend to Tie Your Shoe
Girl #1: Hanging out with him on his birthday was so much fun!
Girl #2: Oh, I heard about that! He went to jail, right?
Brooklyn Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Glad they're not my friends
Taught Me the "White Elephant"
College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!
University of Rochester
Rochester, New York
Categories: Age and ageing | Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Jesus | Leisure | Memory lane | New York | Students | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I'm having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don't get it?
Hot chick: What's there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don't get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Before I Steal Their Skin for Lampshades
Tall guy: When we get back to the flat we should measure how tall we all are.
Shorter girl: ... Why?
Tall guy, in creepy, monotone voice: ... I like to measure people.
Manchester
UK
Overheard by: Scared by-stander
Categories: Creepsters | Leisure | UK | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Laura Bush and Lynne Cheney Pop Out for a Smoke
Ciggy #1: The time you and I went and bought cigarettes -- was that the night you went in a toga?
Ciggy #2: Haha, oh my god, yes! Oh, wait... Was that the lesbian night?
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Leisure | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like a Drug-Free Acid Trip
Suit: I always enjoy going to Comic-Con because of the midgets in costumes.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Becka
Categories: Leisure | Suits | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's So Cute. Now Take the Little Fucker Home.
Cute toddler boy in giant sombrero: I'm running amok! I'm running amok!
Georgetown Cafe
Washington, DC
Categories: Kids | Leisure | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the Best-Selling How You Know Your Child Will Never Have Sex
Fat, bike-riding nerd, to no one: Turning on the afterburners... Yeah, baby... Accelerating!
Albertsons
California
Categories: California | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Leisure | Posted 2007-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
