Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

Elmer and Mrs Fudd Are Justifiably Proud of Their Daughter

PSU freshman (attempting to flirt): Wow, that's an amazing accent! Is it British?
Cute freshman who says Rs like Ws: Actually, it's a speech impediment.

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: ellen

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And Who You Callin' a Dias?

Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We're black. He knows English.

Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah

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Experimental Music Has Really Jumped the Shark

Little kid in stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Oh yeah! Yeah!
Little kid in a stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Yeah! That's it. Yeaaaah!

St Laurent Boulevard
Montréal
Canadia

Overheard by: Augustime

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You Slept with Him in Chinese?

[Chinese girls whispering.]
Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn't come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!

Bus
Chicago, Illinois

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I Mean I Have a Case of the Cups

American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I've been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!

3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California

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It Doesn't Translate Well

Muslim girl: Ramadan Mubarak!
Girl: What does that mean?
Muslim girl: It means, like, "Yay, it's Ramadan!"
Girl: So, like ... "Yay, I'm not eating or having sex most of the day!"?

Ottawa
Canadia

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Like Having Grandma Sit on Your Face

Hostess describing rose and black lady tea combo: Smells like rose, tastes like lady.

Beijing
China

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Where to Begin?

Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.

Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: aharon

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Good Thing "Shut Up, You Cow" Is Easy to Convey with Body Language

Large white lady to small Mexican husband: I'm bleeding. [Pokes hubby, who ignores her.] Heyyy, I'm bleeding from my neck! Don't you care?! [Hubby puts headphones on and looks out window.] I wish I knew you didn't speak English before I married you!

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: corwin

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And Then Put It Back, Unused

Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell's a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for 'light.' You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast -- lemur.
Teen girl #1: You're so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.

Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado

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But No One Who Speaks German Could Be a Mean Guy!

American guy: Could you stamp my passport, please? It's a hobby of mine.
Passport checker to coworker, in German: These damn Americans always want something. Look, they've all got booze and bags and t-shirts. Now they want stamps.
American girl: Sir, I'd like mine stamped, too.
Passport checker, in German: I bet that girl was here to fuck guys. American girls become sluts in Europe.
American girl: Sir, that's not very nice!
Passport checker, still in German: I hate it when they know German. Then we can't talk about them!

Airport
Cologne
Germany

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Nominative Is Like a Big Old Bland Burrito

German teacher: Mmm, ahhh-gentive! It's like a spicy taco!

Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: bekkaroo

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Does This Have Anything to Do with Political Philosophy?

Professor: Does anyone know how to write an underscore in Elvish? In high school my friends and I used to have arguments about how much should be phonetic and how much should be character by character. I would spell 'tree' chee, and my friend would spell it tree, and I would say, 'But the T sounds like a ch--!' and he would say, 'That's because you're a damn foreigner!'

Shout-out: overheardatumbc.com

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It's Fun to Express Yourself without Risk of Being Understood

Black student #1, to teacher: Ayo, man! Naw, naw [babbles on, but no one can understand].
Teacher: ... What?
Black student #2: Man, I'm black and I didn't even understand that!

Manassas, Virginia

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Then She Tried to Light Me on Fire

Bimbette #1: Is Norwegian to Swedish like English to Spanish?
Bimbette #2: No, it's like... Like... It's like Spanish to Italian.
Bimbette #1: Ohhh. Wait, isn't Italian a dead language?
Bimbette #2: Ummm, I think that's Latin.
Bimbette #1: Ohhh. You know, my Spanish teacher once told me I was like the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Denim on Denim

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I Don't Think They Know That

College girl: I'm taking this online Arabic course... Did you know their alphabet is just all, like, smiley faces?

Providence, Rhode Island

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Are They Applying Lip Gloss Over There?

20-ish European guy: So, do you like Angela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We're pretty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean 'like' her?
20-ish European guy: You know -- like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We're just really good friends. I never really thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish European guy: I dunno. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]
Woman: Is it just me or did those foreign guys sound like 12-year-old American girls, but, y'know, with funny accents?

Charity pancake breakfast
Hope, Alaska

Overheard by: I'd say closer to 10

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If You Insist

Girl arguing her bad translation is correct: Wait, this sentence says, 'I am... To be... Entered'!

Grad-level French class
California

Overheard by: Not Willing

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Enschuldegung, No Habla Escargot

Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That's a good idea.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief

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Hamburgers, That's How

Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It's pronounced 'chaos.'

Truman College
Chicago, Illinois

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