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Panhandling All Categories > Topics > Jobs & Careers > Panhandling
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Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Don't Flirt With the Homeless, Dude
Gay guy to hobo: Good morning. Did you get a hair cut?
Hobo: (mutters about spare change)
Gay guy: I know you got a hair cut! See, if you would have said hi to me, maybe I would have given you a dollar or something! (starts walking down street) Why do people have to be so ignorant on such a sunny day?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Meater Maid
Categories: Assholes | Bragging | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Pennsylvania | Queers | Posted 2010-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Proceeded to Link Arms and Skip Off Into the Sunset
Obnoxious panhandler: Spare change if you give a shit! Spare change if you give a shit!
Sassy gay man walking by: I don't.
Obnoxious panhandler: Me neither!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: RP
Categories: California | Comebacks | Hobos | Panhandling | Queers | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kim Jong-il Actually Pulls Off "Hobo" Flawlessly
Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot... Maybe some nuclear weapons...
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Food | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Strangers | Violence | Posted 2009-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said About the Guy Who Was Blowing You Yesterday
Policewoman: I seen you beggin'. You don't know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That's my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.
Urbana, Illinois
Categories: Cops | Family ties | Hobos | Illinois | Jesus | Money | Panhandling | Questions | Race | Posted 2009-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Prelude to This Season's Greatest Love Story
Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.
Guelph
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Hobos | Money | Offers and requests | Panhandling | Students | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Worked Really Hard to Steal Them.
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: Sorry, I only have cards.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Girls | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Posted 2009-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Can I Have That Back Now?
Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat--no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm...
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Fat people | Food | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Hobos | Money | Offers and requests | Panhandling | Sensory experiences | Wisconsin | Words | Posted 2008-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Prefer 'Hoboes'-- but Thanks for the Weed!
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: "Thank you very much."
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don't care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Categories: California | Default | Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Panhandling | Stoners | Posted 2008-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Had to Think about It, Though, Didn't You?
Bag lady: Change? Spare any change?
Guy walking towards a church: Sorry.
Bag lady: Wanna fuck?
Guy: Um, no, thanks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: So who would be paying whom?
Categories: Bag ladies | Illinois | Panhandling | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Man, What Isn't?
Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, "Jesus loves you."] ... It's in the Bible!
Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Peggy
Categories: Hobos | Panhandling | San Francisco | Posted 2007-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise
Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You're so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We're already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don't want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money...
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: Mirchi
Categories: Couples | Homeless | India | Panhandling | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think of It As an Experimental Fiction Grant
Hobo: I tried skateboarding once, but I fell down and had a baby... Can I have some money?
Granville SkyTrain station
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: chad
Categories: Canadia | Hobos | Panhandling | Posted 2007-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
