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Oh, You're Just Still Pissed That I Stole Your Lucky Charms.

Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!

Leamington Spa
England


Overheard by: Bleep


Categories: Animals | England | Etiquette | Hobos | Insults | Panhandling | Strangers | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Don't Flirt With the Homeless, Dude

Gay guy to hobo: Good morning. Did you get a hair cut?
Hobo: (mutters about spare change)
Gay guy: I know you got a hair cut! See, if you would have said hi to me, maybe I would have given you a dollar or something! (starts walking down street) Why do people have to be so ignorant on such a sunny day?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Meater Maid


Categories: Assholes | Bragging | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Pennsylvania | Queers | Posted 2010-05-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They Proceeded to Link Arms and Skip Off Into the Sunset

Obnoxious panhandler: Spare change if you give a shit! Spare change if you give a shit!
Sassy gay man walking by: I don't.
Obnoxious panhandler: Me neither!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: RP


Categories: California | Comebacks | Hobos | Panhandling | Queers | Posted 2010-01-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Kim Jong-il Actually Pulls Off "Hobo" Flawlessly

Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot... Maybe some nuclear weapons...

Vancouver
Canadia


Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com


Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Food | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Strangers | Violence | Posted 2009-12-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's What You Said About the Guy Who Was Blowing You Yesterday

Policewoman: I seen you beggin'. You don't know that guy, but he gave you money.
Hobo: Sweetness, sweetness, listen. That's my brother.
Policewoman: You have a white brother?
Hobo: My brother in Christ.

Urbana, Illinois


Categories: Cops | Family ties | Hobos | Illinois | Jesus | Money | Panhandling | Questions | Race | Posted 2009-11-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Prelude to This Season's Greatest Love Story

Hobo sitting on sidewalk: Hey, can you spare some change?
Student: Sorry, man. I'm as broke as you right now.
Hobo: Grab a seat.

Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

And I Worked Really Hard to Steal Them.

Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: Sorry, I only have cards.

Austin, Texas


Categories: Girls | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Posted 2009-08-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Can I Have That Back Now?

Hobo: Anyone got a dollar? I'm hungry as hell.
Fat girl: Here you go, man. (gives him a five)
Hobo: Thank you! Thank you! Now, see, because she's fat--no, I say healthy. I like my women healthy, gives me something to grab onto. Now, because she's fat, she knows I got to eat!
Fat girl: Umm...

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

We Prefer 'Hoboes'-- but Thanks for the Weed!

Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: "Thank you very much."
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don't care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.

Chino, California


Categories: California | Default | Drugs | Feelings | Friends | Panhandling | Stoners | Posted 2008-06-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Had to Think about It, Though, Didn't You?

Bag lady: Change? Spare any change?
Guy walking towards a church: Sorry.
Bag lady: Wanna fuck?
Guy: Um, no, thanks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: So who would be paying whom?


Categories: Bag ladies | Illinois | Panhandling | Posted 2007-09-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Man, What Isn't?

Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, "Jesus loves you."] ... It's in the Bible!

Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: Peggy


Categories: Hobos | Panhandling | San Francisco | Posted 2007-09-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise

Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You're so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We're already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don't want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money...

Mumbai
India


Overheard by: Mirchi


Categories: Couples | Homeless | India | Panhandling | Posted 2007-06-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Think of It As an Experimental Fiction Grant

Hobo: I tried skateboarding once, but I fell down and had a baby... Can I have some money?

Granville SkyTrain station
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia


Overheard by: chad


Categories: Canadia | Hobos | Panhandling | Posted 2007-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook