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The Final Solution to the School Year
Enthusiastic teacher: We're doing a scavenger hunt today!
Student, dubiously: A scavenger hunt?
Enthusiastic teacher, nodding: Yeah, it's like ... It's like a Nazi Easter egg hunt.
North Carolina
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | History | North Carolina | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Close Enough.
Female student: It's a Wonderful Life... That's the one about the Holocaust, right?
Clarksville, Maryland
Overheard by: Jimmy Steward played Hitler
You Seem to Have No Friends, Only Interests
European history professor, discussing WWI: And of course, with Germany's resumption of unrestricted submarine warfare, the United States had its reasons to join the war against Germany.
World-weary student: Not to mention all the loans American bankers needed England and France to win to pay back.
Professor: Some of you are too cynical for your own good.
Montevallo, Alabama
Dan Brown Totally Deserves This
50-something white-haired British guy: I know you!
Stranger: No sir, we haven't met.
50-something white-haired British guy: I remember you from before!
Stranger: I'm sorry sir, I just don't remember you.
50-something white-haired British guy: I was there too! We were both knights of Templar! You were Mary Magdalene's personal guard... How have you been all these years!?
Grand Canyon
Arizona
Overheard by: J
Categories: Arizona | Crazies | History | Memory lane | Strangers | Tourist attractions | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're So Vanilla We've Given Each Other Diabetes
Tall, pale, blonde girl: And Joe and I realized that we are both ridiculously tall, blonde and blue-eyed. So Aryan. We're basically Hitler's wet dream.
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa
And the Utter Decimation, but Whatever.
50-something suit at brunch: The South was a backwards place until air conditioning. That's what allowed them to advance as a people. Now, these hurricanes come and knock out their power. That's why they have so many problems during these storms.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: didn't know ac saved south
I Believe Fingerpainting and Paste-Eating Are Down the Hall
Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
Whether Real or Imaginary
Professor: It's like trying to make a deity out of a bottle of Stoli at the height of the cold war.
Class: (laughter)
Professor: I know plenty of people who've done that, by the way... And so do you.
Macalester College
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | History | Minnesota | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"History in a Nutshell" Was the Most Popular Course at York
Guy: Cause, like, Stalin was a pretty crazy dude, right?
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Just don't call me dude
In Wisconsin, That's a 1-900 Number
Tween boy with arm around girlfriend: So, he actually tried to use my phone to call Hitler...
Wisconsin
Smart Money Says She Prefers Teaching Gymnastics
Teacher: Who was right in the American Revolution?
(silence)
Student: We were?
Teacher: We were! God, I thought you were all communists for a minute.
Kalamazoo, Michigan
On the Dollar Bill.
Bimbette, standing in front of George Washington's sarcophagus: Hold on! So, where is George Washington?
Mount Vernon, Virginia
Overheard by: Bemused
We're Happy to Help, Dear Reader
Girl: Dude, Wikipedia "Rasputin" and ctrl+f "penis."
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Once You Invoke Hitler, Rational Conversation Ceases
Girl #1, playing Tetris: Stop moving your feet, it's distracting me.
Girl #2: I wasn't trying to distract you! I needed to crack my ankles.
Girl #1: I bet Hitler just needed to crack his ankles too, he didn't mean to kill all those Jews.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Estelle
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Games | Girls | History | Murder | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like, I Notice You're Wearing a Nike Shirt...
50-something female to Native American presenter in elementary school: Is it true that the arrival of whites changed your way of life?
Denver, Colorado
A Dicktatorship?
Professor: So Russia had this really phallus-oriented system of government...
University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Education | Gender issues | History | Penis | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2009-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But We Honor Him Every Time I Buy You a Lap Dance for Your Birthday
Mom tourist: We're going to go see the Washington Monument, do you know who it's named for?
Son tourist: Yes, our first President, George Washington
Mom tourist: That's right. (pause) He's dead now.
Washington, DC
Categories: Death & dying | Family | History | Moms | Names | Questions | Stupidity | Tourists | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...After You Told Me If We Don't Have Sex, the Terrorists Win.
20-something gal: Can you believe September 11th was eight years ago?
20-something guy: Really? That long? Yeah, I guess it's true.
20-something gal: A lot's changed since then. We've both lost our virginity.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Will S.
All the Good Men Are Either Straight or Extinct
Gay man: I find Neanderthals really attractive. If there were Neanderthals around now, I would be all over that.
Hyattsville, Maryland
Overheard by: prefers guys with smaller noses
Your Greatest Achievement Since Your Darfur/Wizard Of Oz Essay
Guy: You do realize what you just did, right? You tied a Holocaust paper to Pokemon.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: rvc
Don't Make Me Do Date Math, Tricia
18-year-old girl to 20-year-old girl: The Declaration of Independence looks really old and faded. How old is it?
National Archives
Washington, DC
Categories: Age and ageing | Girls | History | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-09-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Will Be on the Midterm.
American history professor: So this Bacon guy died of the flux. Or as I like to say, he shat himself to death.
University Of Louisiana
Monroe, Louisiana
Overheard by: a bored Am. History student
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | History | Louisiana | Maladies | Poop | Teachers | Posted 2009-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With His Seductive Banjo Music?
Hispanic girlfriend: Why the hell do you get Cesar Chavez Day off of work? Do you even know who Cesar Chavez is?
White boyfriend: Didn't he drive the snakes out of Mexico?
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Hispanic girlfriend
New Teen Slang for "It's Radical!"
Student #1, viewing political cartoons of Egypt: There's a face on that rock!
Student #2: Because it's the sphynx!
New Hampshire
Categories: History | New Hampshire | Pop culture | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Regret to Inform You That New Jersey Was Founded in 1664, Dear Reader
Bimbo #1, buying coffee: Do you ever, like, look at your change and think, "Wow: $16.64. Something totally happened that year!"
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah, I totally agree. Like, if I bought something for like two dollars with a $20 and my change was $19.78, I like might know someone who was born that year!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: BaptistaBarista
I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt...
Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that's any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.
Colosseum
Rome
Italy
Yes, But It's Pronounced "Canadia"
Professor: Back then they actually had Hell located on the map. It was in the north.
Student: In Canada?
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Religious Freedom's Expensive
Teacher: Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
Student: Because they wanted to dig for gold!
(later)
Teacher: Why did the Puritans come to America?
Student: Oh! I know this one! They're the ones that wanted to dig for gold!
East Greenbush, New York
That's Obviously the Isaiah Washington Memorial
Middle-aged wife: Oh, honey, look! It's the George Jefferson memorial.
Middle-aged husband: Seriously. You are such an idiot.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Couples | Eavesdrop DC | History | Insults | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah Well, You Can Always Become President.
Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Education | History | Questions | Science | Students | Teachers | Virginity | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Ask the Jews to Be on Our Side, Though
Teen girl to friend: We could be like the next Hitler, but cooler!
Friend: Oooh, awesome!
Toronto
Canadia
Genesis Suggests the Lord Had Second Thoughts
Psychology professor, speaking of horrible deaths in the French Revolution: People are terrible...they should have never been invented.
Rutgers University
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Person
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | History | Murder | New Jersey | Students | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2009-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But, Um, the Essay Topic Was "My Favorite Pet"
College student #1: So I was thinking I was going to write about Hitler, and how he was like...bad?
College student #2: Totally.
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: dumbfounded
With His Big Blue Ox
Drunk girl: St. Patrick's day is celebrating St. Patrick...who drove all the rats out of Germany.
University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: matt
And Have an Orgy to Celebrate-- Right, Mommy?
Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans...
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Overheard by: Jake
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Girls | History | Kids | Kids | Moms | New York | Pop culture | Women | Posted 2009-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now We Both Feel Sick, Sir
American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | History | Politics | Stomach | Teachers | Posted 2009-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aren't You Glad We Can Talk Like This?
Girl #1: So, during history I was blowing bubbles with my gum and...
Girl #2: Who's bubbles?
Girl #1 (continuing, uninterrupted): I got it all over my glasses just as my history teacher looks at me! He just stood up there laughing for a good five minutes, and no one knew what he was laughing at because I managed to get it back in my mouth before anyone could see.
Girl #2: Wait, what?
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Before Then, It Was Only Divided Into People Who Make Erroneous Blanket Statements and People Who Do Not
Film studies professor: Until the 1970s, no one realized that the world was divided into men and women.
Birmingham University
England
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | England | Gender issues | History | Memory lane | Teachers | Posted 2009-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You'd Think Jews Would Get Tired Of Being Portrayed As Victims
Guy, exiting movie theater after Defiance: The problem with movies is they always make the Nazis look bad.
Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | History | Movies | Names | Posted 2009-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Probably Not the Best Topic to Assign a Special-Needs Kid
Nervous fourth grader giving oral report: Joan of Arc, the pheasant, was caught in a blender.
Elementary School
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
The CIA's Predicting a Win for the USSR
Waitress to guy wearing a Soviet hockey jersey: CCCP? Who's that?
Customer: It's the Soviet Union.
Waitress: Oh, are they playing the Caps tonight?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
And You Really Shouldn't Joke About That.
Teen to friend: He's always making fun of the holocaust.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Tonight's Movie: P.S.-- I Oven You.
High school girl to friend: History is my favorite subject, my favorite is the holocaust...I love the holocaust!
Dentist Office, Korea Town
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: anon
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Doctor's office | Feelings | Girls | History | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aristotle's Really More Of an American Eagle Dude
Girl #1, leaving the mall: Go to Aero... Ari... Aristotle.
Girl #2: Aristotle is not the same thing as Aeropostale.
Girl #1: Then where did I...?
Girl #2 (interrupting): History. You learned about Aristotle in history.
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Overheard by: Ashley
You Get a Cookie
Professor: So what happened in Germany between 1928 and 1930?
Student: 1929!
Fordham University, New York
Overheard by: Sromeo
It's A Little Funny?
Father on phone to wife: No, it was at dinner, and then this drunk at the next table made a comment about our son. No. He said Josh looked like "a retarded page from the dark ages." That's not funny. (long pause) I'll schedule him for a haircut tomorrow.
Pennsylvania
Categories: Age and ageing | Dads | Default | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Food | Guys | History | Pennsylvania | Posted 2009-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now We Can't Even Keep Madonna
British theater professor: Well, you know Hong Kong used to belong to Britain. (angrily) Everything used to belong to Britain.
Theater Class, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Chanimal
Categories: Class | Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Geography | History | Massachusetts | Politics | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Ancient Warriors Are Born Into Modern Military Families
Mother: And some armies have the sniper and he just picks them all off. Pkk pkk pkk.
Three-year-old with chicken pox (over still talking mother): I'm Spartacus!
Five-year-old without chicken pox: No, I'm Spartacus, you're Spartacus!
Mother, still talking: And then the detonator gets attached and once the fuse goes, it all goes boom!
Three-year-old: I'm Spartacus!
Five-year-old: You're Spartacus!
Flight between London and Liverpool
England
Overheard by: nadine
At The Same Time?
Tween to friends: Imagine if Hitler gave everybody hugs!
Baltimore, MD
Whereas the Middle Ages Were More Like Getting Ear-Fucked Repeatedly
Girl on train helping her friend study: Think of a baby crawling back into the vagina and popping out again. That's the renaissance.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sitting in front of them for an hour on the train
Yes, Exactly Like That-- Keep It Up, You Two!
History professor, during lecture: After all, people have always had dirty...nasty...raunchy sex.
Syracuse University, New York
Overheard by: del
And Since Your Sister Got Crushed by That House, You're All I've Got!
Drunk guy outside window: I didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!
Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)
From Now On, All Lectures Will Be Given by the TA.
Professor, talking about Meatless Tuesdays during WWI: And what would not eating meat save?
Genius (excitedly): Bullets!
Professor: Um, no.
Genius: By not having to shoot the animals.
History Class, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: be CNU
Henry VIII Hated Getting Caught in Traffic Before a Flight
American tourist: Why did they put the castle so close to the airport?
Outside Windsor Castle
Windsor
England
Later the Cafeteria Staff Served Us Pasta Boobies
Random freshman: And then this junior girl came up to me and was like, "look at this penis on my locker...his name is Napoleon."
Lakeland Regional High School
Wanaque, New Jersey
Overheard by: kristina
Categories: Default | Guys | History | Names | New Jersey | Penis | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From The Mouths of Babes...
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
Who's Going As Pontius Pilate of Nottingham?
Bimbette, looking at halloween costumes online with her boyfriend: Oh, look! You can go as Robin Hood and I'll be Mary Magdalene!
RIC College
Providence, Rhode Island
Categories: Bimbettes | Books | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | History | Rhode Island | Stupidity | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Have Further Interest, You Can Sign Up for My Pubic History Class This Spring
Professor, discussing an 18th century painting: Now, it is important to remember that at this time women did not wear panties. This is a beaver shot par excellence!
San José State University
California
Categories: California | Class | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gender issues | History | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's More of an Orange County Accessory
Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh...no.
Craft Show
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Customers | Default | Employees | Family ties | History | Offers and requests | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Also Fantastic at Hiding in Attics
Girl: Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, she was blind, deaf, and something else...
Guy: Dumb?
Girl: No, she was quite intelligent actually, but I think she could smell.
Corvallis, Oregon
Unless You Count Facebook Status Updates
Suit #1: So you live in the Watergate.
Suit #2: I do. The famous Watergate complex.
Suit #1: It's famous?
Suit #2: Yeah--the Nixon scandal and everything.
Suit #1: Oh--I don't really follow current events.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Got My Own Personal Trail Of Tears Over Here
Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn't look good in these things...until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh...?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That's why I don't look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don't wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!
Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Categories: Clothes | Crazies | Customers | Default | Family ties | History | Insults | Mental illnesses | Old folks | Pennsylvania | Race | Stores | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jared Likes to Watch the History Channel on Acid
Teen to others: Did you know that Ben Franklin invented the first haunted house?
In Line for Haunted House
Roanoke, Vriginia
...Shaking Hands with Martin Luther King
College student #1: Look, look, it's Martin Luther King!
College student #2: ...that's Eddie Murphy.
Madame Tussaud's
Las Vegas, Nevada
Categories: About celebrities | Compare and contrast | Default | Frat boy types | History | Nevada | Stupidity | Posted 2008-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Perhaps the Most Horrifying Win-Win Ever
(outside the university library)
Guy #1: So you scored.
Guy #2: And I know the holocaust inside and out.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Default | Euphemisms | Guys | History | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Keeps Trying to Stage a Comeback, Though
Hobo #1: No matter how you look at it, a swastika is still a swastika.
Hobo #2: (nods in agreement)
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Adam
So the Liberal Media Would Have Us Believe
Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
If You Make a Pop Culture Reference, They Accuse You Of Being a Jew
Gucci girl to friends: God! I'm so tired of my Nazi book group! (silence) I mean, they don't want cookies, they don't want to socialize, it's just like, book book book you may not mention anything besides the book!
Glencoe, Illinois
Overheard by: I was worried for a minute
A Real Sex God
Literature teacher: So what the Europeans did was take the description of Jesus from the texts and made their images of him Caucasian so as to be more relatable to those they were teaching to.
Girl of questionable literacy: European Jesus was hot.
Delta Secondary School
Ladner, British Columbia
Canadia
...So, Like, Can I Get Your Number?
Student: I'm as much like Hitler as Hitler was.
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Kat
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | History | Indiana | Students | Posted 2008-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Teacher: "Must...Tread...Lightly..."
Girl: I thought dinosaurs were a fairy tale.
Junior High Science Class
El Paso, Texas
Behind the Wheel, Sure
Girl (reading inspirational quote): "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." (pause) Helen Keller. (to friend) Wasn't she, like, a killer?
Indigo Bookstore
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Sunissa
If You're Gonna Be Wrong, at Least Go Top-Shelf
Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: SP
Later, They'd Vomit Up Quarters
Drunk girl #1: I'm Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I'm Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)
Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado
Like We'd Really Elect a Latino?
Teen girl to classmates: Jesus was not a President!
US History Class, High School
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Default | History | Jesus | Politics | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But "Jews Give Me a Boner" Is Positive
MHS student to another: Emileeeeeeey... You can't say the "boner" word at a Holocaust luncheon!
University 4
Moscow, Idaho
Overheard by: i agree
I Drink Constantly, Though
Guy: You know, I'm usually anti-slavery... Except when I drink, then I'm all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | History | Philosophy | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But If I Had to Make a Guess It Would Be "Pussy and Blow"
Professor: What did our founding fathers want? Who cares? They're dead.
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: Secret Spy
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Education | History | Ohio | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unlike My Grading Scale
Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: Secret Spy
Or the Word "Dyke" Ever Again
Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm... Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so... Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America's dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn't use a metaphor.
English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii
Overheard by: boehmface
With the Help of Her Lovely Assistant
Jewish student, about another: Every time we talk about the holocaust she, like, throws her Jew out and spins a dreidel with it or whatever.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
They're Instrumental in Getting High?
Professor: So the wars of opium wars were fought because the Chinese didn't want their citizens smoking their bongos and being loopy.
Student: Wait, bongos?
Professor: Yeah those pipe things... Bongos, right?
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Erika
Good Point --No Effect on Religious Beliefs
Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?
Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself
Categories: Bimbettes | Class | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Education | History | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Questions | Religion | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If We'd Really Won, We'd Still Have Those Cool Accents
Boy holding a box of revolutionary war army men: Mom, who won this war?
Mom: Y'know, I'm not sure.
Craft Store
Wisconsin
Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?
Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don't we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?
Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: drunkbigirls
Ever Seen a Cat Goose-Step?
Teen girl: I put my new bra on my cat's head and he looked like a German soldier.
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Categories: Animals | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Geography | Girls | History | New Zealand | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Asked Was, "Does That Come with Fries?"
Light-skinned black woman: I'm just saying, I'd have been in the home and not in the fields.
Taco Mac
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Georgia | History | Jobs & Careers | Race | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Dresden As a Possible Exception
Professor: Well, they had Nazis, but those aren't exactly lighting fixtures.
Theatre Class, SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
In Case You Were Wondering
American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn't escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Compare and contrast | Construction workers | Coworkers | Default | Foreigners | Geography | Guys | History | Illinois | Politics | Words | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The French: "We're on Your Side?"
Professor: And the French, they?re only worth 2/3 of a person because, well, they?re on our side, but they don?t fight well.
Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Geography | Guys | History | Insults | Overheard at UMBC | Politics | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Couldn't We Just Discriminate Against People Wearing Explosive Clothing?
Bimbette: Well, discriminating against the Muslims is different than against, like, the Russians for Hitler and everything.
Archbishop Spalding High School
Severn, Maryland
Overheard by: Wait, is she kidding?
Categories: Bimbettes | Compare and contrast | Default | Geography | History | Maryland | Politics | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did He Know That?
Clerk: Hitler was a black man. Did you know that?
Long's Drugs
Oakland, California
Categories: Blue collar | California | Default | History | Race | Stores | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Paving the Way for Such Great Presidents As Martin Luther King and Ice T
Bimbette: Harriet Tubman? Of course I know who that was. She was America's first black president!
Shout-out: www.overeardinhighschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Marina
Categories: Bimbettes | Default | History | Overheard in High School | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or They Frightened It into Submission with Religious Rhetoric
Lipstick lesbian #1: If we move into a house, we're going to have to get some new stuff...
Lipstick lesbian #2: Wait... How did the pilgrims cut their grass?
Lipstick lesbian #1: Um, I think they had cows.
Fox and Hound
Indianapolis, Indiana
They Had a Contest
Professor: The Kaiser was not the worst leader Germany had in the twentieth century.
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Categories: History | North Carolina | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Play the Bible Backwards, You Can Hear Them Talking
Bimbette: Of course dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time!
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Mike
That's What the Native Americans Said, and What Was Their Fate?
Italian exchange student: Why do you celebrate Thanksgiving in America?
Teacher: Because of the pilgrims! Anyone want to explain?
Student: The pilgrims can suck it!
Marcos de Niza High School
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: J.
Their Lullabies Are the Stuff of Nightmares
Professor, on possible Nazi allusions in animation: Well, it was a German film, and any time you hear German muttering, it's harsh words and armbands.
Rhode Island School of Design
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Sandro
Categories: Gossip | History | Rhode Island | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Not Having Them
Teacher explaining colonization: It all started with rubbers!
Maine
Overheard by: vampire hunter
On an Unrelated Note, Never Put Together a Lecture During Happy Hour
Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going 'Rawr, rawr, rawr!' and taking a chunk out of your arm -- they were just like, 'Huh? What?'
Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: she actually growled
To the Stake
Woman reading newspaper: I can't believe how illiterate kids are these days. It says here that when they were asked who Joan of Arc was, many of them said she was Noah's wife.
Girl: Who was she, Grandma?
Woman: She was the woman who grew her hair long and rode a horse naked.
Port Townsend, Washington
Categories: History | Old folks | Washington | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't He a Character on Heroes?
Teen girl: Oh, I always thought Hiroshima was a person.
Criminalise War Conference
Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia
When the Hudson Brothers Won the Nobel Gay Prize
World History teacher: The Nazis imprisoned more people than just the Jews -- handicapped people, homosexuals--
Bimbette, interrupting: --They had homos back then? I thought they didn't invent that until, like, the '70s.
Osbourn High School
Manassas, Virginia
Overheard by: This is the last time I take a class that isn't Honors
He Made His Millions Off Kant's Death
Philosophy professor: ... And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer's classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.
Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Class | History | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seemed Pretty Serious at the Time
History student: Seriously? Hitler was in the Second World War?
Ovens Road
Perth
Western Australia
Overheard by: Have You Just Not Been Listening Or What?
Which Is Why They Call It V-E Half-Day
Professor: So, how did the baby boom come about?
Student: When a--
Professor: --You don't need to actually walk me through it. In the late 1940s, everybody was becoming a mother. Okay, half of everybody.
University of North Florida
Jacksonville, Florida
And They Painted John Adams Purple
Little girl to mother, pointing at a picture of Ronald McDonald: Look, Mommy -- they put lipstick on George Washington!
McDonald's
Jackson, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lydia
Categories: Glad the condom broke | History | New Jersey | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That because It's Ann Landers's Birthday?
Professor: Adams and Jefferson weren't the only presidents to die on the Fourth of July. Does anyone know the third?
Student #1: Was it Monroe?
Professor: Yes, Monroe also died on the Fourth of July. Quite interesting, isn't it?
Student #2: Is that why we celebrate the Fourth of July?
Liberal Ed floor, Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Ready to graduate
The Rehabilitation Began with Starship Troopers
Boy watching Indiana Jones: Why are the Nazis always the bad guys?
Thug: Who are they supposed to be?
Flowing Wells High School
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | History | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Should have used a condom | Thugs | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When He Didn't Respond I Unfriended Him
Nerd: So, what do you think of Hitler?
Overheard at York
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | History | Overheard at York | Posted 2007-04-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
