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Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force
Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By "wasn't" I mean "was", by "taking a shower" I mean "taking a dump", and by "glass" I mean "bottle". (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!
University of Northern Norway
Norway
How Hot That Sounds Depends on How Horny You Are
Nerd guy: Did you get a haircut?
Indie girl: No. Why?
Nerd guy: Your bangs are on the other side.
Indie girl: Oh, I didn't shower today.
Godfrey, Illinois
Overheard by: M
And You Thought SpongeBob Was Gay
Teenage girl to friend: Anyway, I think he likes me... He gave me a sponge bath last night.
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Ineke
All Those Slip-and-Fall Accidents Are Smitings
Religion teacher to class of girls: And remember girls, always wear a bikini in the shower, because god is always watching you.
Dublin
Ireland
Oh, Leave Ethan Hawke Alone.
Guy to another: Why's he bother to wash his clothes, anyway, if he smells that bad and doesn't bother to bathe?
Laundromat
Catskill, New York
Overheard by: Amie
Categories: Bathing | Cleanliness | Clothes | Gossip | Guys | New York | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors' Verdict: Shower Yes, Loofah No
20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Categories: Balls | Bathing | Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Friends | Insults | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said About Uncle Walter!
Little girl: Mommy, can I have a bubble bath?
Mother: No, it makes your vagina hurt.
Plantation, Florida
Overheard by: i guess that's a valid reason.
Whose Bra Is This, Anyway?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #1: I feel like I smell really terrible. Can you smell me?
Pretty girl in last night's dress #2: Yeah. We should probably take a shower... wash away the sins of last night.
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Bathing | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Tennessee | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Aesop Tried Peyote
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Animals | Bathing | Birds | Colleges & Universities | Food | Friends | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Mental illnesses | New York | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Bradshaw Sometimes Needs Help with the Basics
Loud guy on cell: Terry! Terry! Listen to me! Use that shampoo! And the conditioner! Get your hair the same way it was last week! (pause) Okay, see you there. Bye.
Oxford Street
London
England
Categories: Advice | Bathing | Cleanliness | England | Guys | Hair | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wouldn't You Much Rather Blow Someone Lemon-Scented?
Drunk man: I may not have a home, but I'm not like homeless homeless...I take showers and usually smell good.
Drunk woman: And what does this have to do with blowjobs?
Pub
Orange County, California
Overheard by: Katie
Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Bathing | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Drunks | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Posted 2009-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, "Boner"
Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.
Catholic University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ditto.
Categories: Bathing | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Education | Teachers | Washington, DC | Words | Posted 2009-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Wrong Way to Spice Up Your Marriage
Guy: So Stacy comes in and finds me screaming in the shower.
Friend: Wow!
Guy: Yeah, there are some places you should just never touch after cutting Habanero peppers.
Men's Room
Garrison, New York
Overheard by: mark
As Seen in Douching Miss Daisy
Greenpeace activist to couple walking out of grocery store: Are you guys concerned about our environment?
Elderly couple: Definitely! We recycle, and we take showers together!
Mothers Market
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: arie
Categories: Bathing | California | Couples | Default | Old folks | People | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Posted 2009-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on E!: Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop, the Ugly Truth
Chick on cell: Let us shower together, damned sheep!
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
So I Went With French Nails and I Never Looked Back
Professor: And so then after he killed the beast he went and bathed because there was dirt under his fingernails and a civilized man never has dirty fingernails... (pauses) My first girlfriend dumped me for dirty fingernails.
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Student
Categories: Bathing | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Health & Hygiene | Memory lane | Murder | Relationships | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Professional Jello Wrestling Has Its Pratfalls, Sweetie
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
Cute + Stinky = Kinky
(two college girls walking down M Street towards Georgetown)
Girl #1: You look cute. I like your dress.
Girl #2: Yeah...I didn't shower.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bathing | Clothes | Compliments | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Girls | Posted 2008-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Did Start Bathing with the Entire Football Team
Teen girl to friend: Did you really think it was a coincidence that the week after you started bathing regularly you lost your virginity?
The Urban School
San Francisco, California
Categories: Bathing | Questions | San Francisco | Teens | Posted 2007-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had to Replicate the Nitrogen Cycle in My Pants
Chick in stall, after biochemistry exam: Thank god that's over. Now I can finally take a shower.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: a [clean] student
Categories: Bathing | Overheard in Philly | Students | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Try to Change Me, Baby
Lady to another: I can't believe it! He's actually getting married! I mean, now he'll have to do normal things like eat and bathe.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Bathing | Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unfortunately, He Caught Me at My Crustiest
Girl on cell: So I said, 'If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.'
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Bathing | Colleges & Universities | Delaware | On the phone | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Crap, This One's a Tattoo!
Dude: Hey, man, do I have any more swastikas on my face? I tried to wash them all off...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zak
Categories: Bathing | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
