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And Stalk All My Classmates Before September
Mother: You got into college!
Teenage daughter: I can finally join Facebook!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
It's the Greatest Thing Since... You Know
Girlfriend: I think my butt has gotten bigger.
Boyfriend: If that's true, hallelujah. I love big booties.
Girlfriend: David*, this is serious! I think I have been doing so many squats that my butt has lifted and risen... like bread.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: MoMo
Head Cheerleaders Are Born, Not Made
Little kid in bathroom with grandmother: Poopies, yay, yay! Poopies, yay yay!
Arby's Bathroom
Howell, Michigan
I've Always Wanted to Be a Fascist
TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.
Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis
Or Do I Have to Play That Bobby McFerrin Song Again?
Mother to quietly weeping child: Can't you just... be happy?
Target Parking Lot
Cumming, Georgia
Overheard by: Caylin
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Georgia | Happiness | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Stores | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus We'd Have to Be Open and Honest About Our Feelings
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I'm so glad you two aren't black! Then I'd have to put all those little beads in your hair and--well I'm just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Why Gay Best Friends Were Invented
[Two 20-something guys are staring at Colleen Moore's ornate fairy castle dollhouse.]
Guy #1: Oh, man.
Guy #2: No man on earth could have ever kept this woman happy.
Museum of Science and Industry
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Joan
Categories: About celebrities | Default | Friends | Gender issues | Guys | Happiness | Illinois | Toys | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Planned Parenthood Would Have Advised Mary to Say No
Planned parenthood speaker: I'm here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!
High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Birthing | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Education | Happiness | Holidays | Pregnancy | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Low-Maintenance People Live Longer, Anyway
Little old lady: I'm not a Pina Colada type. Give me a Coors Light and a nice doobie and I'm good.
Women's Gym
Studio City, California
Overheard by: urzzz
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Happiness | Offers and requests | Old folks | Women | Posted 2008-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshopper Story
Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed... are a pain in the ass.
Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Character | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Happiness | Insults | New Zealand | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: I'm Still a Little Stoned
Girl, frantically looking through fridge: Shit, I'm gonna be late for work... What the hell? Why is your rice in my freezer?
Boyfriend: Because then it will be happy and prosperous.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nic
Do You Want to Go to Epcot? Do You?
Mother to daughter: You don't want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Categories: Advice | California | Compare and contrast | Geography | Happiness | Kids | Moms | Pop culture | Posted 2008-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Public Bathrooms He Gets So Hyper He Requires Sedation
Happy little boy touching everything: Bacteria! Bacteria! Bacteria!
Post Office
Hammond, Louisiana
Categories: Guys | Happiness | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Louisiana | Post offices | Science | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He'll Be Singing a Different Tune When Turtlenecks Come Back in Style
Twentysomething guy, excitedly: And all I could think was "Thank god im circumsized!"
Cherry Blossom Festival, National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: sara aliza
Categories: Guys | Happiness | Health & Hygiene | Penis | Tourist attractions | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I'm Still Working on Context
Girl walking with two guys: I'm going to teabag you! ...I'm so glad I know what that means now!
WSU
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Happiness | Sex | Stupidity | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Being a Contestant on The Price Is Right? Really?
Morbidly obese man: It's like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.
Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Andrea
Categories: Compare and contrast | Fat people | Florida | Guys | Happiness | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Great Anal Lube
Perky middle-aged lady: And that's what's so interesting about salad dressing!
East Aurora
New York
It's No Country for Old Women, Either
Middle aged woman to another: It's not the hot flashes that are so bad... It's the depression.
BeauJo's
Ft. Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: always listening
Categories: Age and ageing | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Happiness | Ladies who lunch | Mental illnesses | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Need Somebody Who'll Be Grateful
Old lady diner to captain: This food is amazing. I hope the chef is single, over 60, and horny.
Arnaud's Restaurant, Bienville Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: The Frontwaiter
Categories: Compliments | Happiness | Louisiana | Old folks | Posted 2008-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Reams of Fun
Guy: My idea of fun is wearing a paper skirt!
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shy invisible girl
Categories: California | Clothing | Guys | Happiness | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Either That or My Shirt's Stuck in It
High school physics teacher: You see, everything has a gravitational force, so everything is attracted to everything else. For example, I am attracted to this door. This... is a really... nice door. And this table -- this is a really, really nice table... But I really like the door.
Massachusetts
Categories: Happiness | Massachusetts | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Especially Enjoy the Blue Ones
Hyperactive camper: Oh, boy, my favorite -- milk and cookies and pills!
Overnight camp
Wolfeboro, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Counselor Lou
Categories: Happiness | Kids | New Hampshire | Posted 2007-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Welcome to Our World
Geek: I can't wait to spend three days sitting in my underwear working on my websites.
Shout-out: www.overheardquote.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Happiness | Overheard Quote | Posted 2007-12-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Love the Electric Highchair, Buddy
Happy dad to little kid: Capital punishment is fun!
Morgantown, West Virginia
Categories: Dads | Happiness | Lies | West Virginia | Posted 2007-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Forget All about What You Wore in the '80s
Jovial woman on cell: So, when the Alzheimer's sets in, this'll all work out for you in the end!
Grocery store
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggson
Categories: Happiness | On the phone | Oregon | Posted 2007-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fine, but Could You Take Your Penis Out of That Bible?
Guy to girlfriend: It doesn't matter what we do! It's pervert weekend!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Categories: California | Guys | Happiness | San Francisco | Posted 2007-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Better Than Peeing on the Parsley
Very serious little boy: I just love the grocery store bathroom.
Confused mom: Why? What's so great about it?
Little boy, wistfully: It's just so peaceful...
Kaiser
Saratoga, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl
Categories: California | Happiness | Kids | Moms | Posted 2007-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Passion for Wind Instruments Is Rare in One So Young
Small child: Mmm! Oooh! Mmm! Mommy, that feels good when it comes out!
Mother, whispering: Shut up.
Restroom, Tanglewood
Lenox, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stephanie
Categories: Happiness | Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Posted 2007-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Only Difference between Heaven and Hell
Old lady on cell in crowded train: Yes, I'm here in a sardine tin, but everyone is really nice...
Tel-Aviv
Israel
Overheard by: claustrophobic
Categories: Happiness | Israel | Old folks | On the phone | Posted 2007-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Occasional Little Fork
Enthusiastic law student: I love tiny spoons!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura and matt
Categories: Happiness | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then Kill Them All, Execution Style!
Girl: I love this new toothpaste I got. It has green tea in it and tastes absolutely fantastic. It feels like there's a tea party going on in my mouth, and I just want to invite my teddy bears or something!
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Ali and Livi
And Then Alexandra Wept, for There Were No More Worlds to Conquer
Little girl when dad hands her balloon: I've been waiting all my life for this...
Chik-Fil-A
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
And Who Grooms Me
Dude: I'm so glad I have a code monkey as a roommate so I don't have to live with someone who--
Code monkey roommate, interrupting: --Is happy?
Dude: Exactly.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Friends | Happiness | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
