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Right After He Repairs My Cable Box
Woman #1: Dammmnnn girl! This metro so damn crowded!
Woman #2: Shit yeah! Too many people here.
Woman #1: Don't worry, Obama gonna take care of that.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Gripes | Other sites | Politics | Public transportation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think They'll Let Us Go Back and Look for Your Ass, or What?
Black lady #1, after riding Superman: Did you sit on them tree sides?
Black lady #2: No, I didn't.
Black lady #1: You should've! You could see them motherfuckin' trees! And I was like "what the fuck!" I mean, I was cussing my ass off!
Black lady #2: So that was you?
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emma
Categories: Black people | Body parts | Gripes | Missouri | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Must Be How Men Feel About Vaginas
Short, round, drunk girl with British accent: I have to pee! I just hate walking by all these apartments knowing they all have working toilets!
Manhattan, New York
Wait 'Til She Learns She Can't Go Down On Him.
Dumb blonde: Jesus is such a cockblock!
UCLA
California
Not As Much As Spencer from The Hills, But Close.
20-something girl: You know, slavery just bugs me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just a bug
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2011-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Nobody Bakes Like the Jews, Am I Right, Avi?
Guy in leopard-print cowboy hat to woman holding homemade desserts and guy in yarmulke: I've been eating nothing but crap all week and every time I say I don't want to eat anymore! Someone put a brownie in front of me!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Burbgirl
Categories: Food | Gripes | Guys | Illinois | Offers and requests | Posted 2011-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Rescue You, but I'll Also Never Let You Forget It
Young girl from bathroom stall: Mom! There's no toilet paper in here!
Mother: I'd say that represents a failure in planning on your part.
Toronto
Canadia
...My Salty, Greasy, Utterly Empty Life
Stoned girl looking at bottom of empty chip bag: Ugh, this is why I hate life.
Elk Grove, California
Overheard by: MelBee
Categories: California | Druggies | Feelings | Food | Gripes | Posted 2011-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So, All in All, It Was a Successful Party.
Girl: I look retarded!
Guy: My balls hurt.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Strangely, They Still Have the Same Collective IQ.
Construction worker #1: There's a lot of sick bastards out there.
Construction worker #2: Not like when we were growing up.
Construction worker #3: That's because the country's got 300 million people now. When we was growing up it only had 150 million. That's why you got three times the number of crazies now.
Oceanside, New York
Categories: Coworkers | Gripes | Memory lane | New York | Stupidity | Posted 2011-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's 1 A.M., Sir.
Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours...
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
I'm So Glad We Can Talk Like This
Girl #1, sitting on couch: I hate it when people sit on chairs that are facing me. It's irritating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are other places they can sit.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: girl sitting on chair facing you
Categories: Character | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2011-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: 2 Fast 2 Delicious
Girl on cell: Not only did she steal my car, she ate the fucking cupcakes!
Southern Connecticut State University
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Posted 2011-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just a Matter Of Time, Inge
Female friend: I think there are no nude pictures of me... (pause) ...On the internet.
Münster
Germany
Showed Me Their Union Cards
Kid-faced guy in suit on cell: Yeah, and then those malicious evildoers told me I shouldn't be there. (pause) They were the minions of the Antichrist. (pause) I'm serious, dammit!
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Carrie
Categories: Christianity | Evil | Gripes | Guys | Pennsylvania | Posted 2010-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn't masturbating.
Framingham, Massachusetts
Categories: Birds | Gripes | Massachusetts | Masturbation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Way to Start Off the Marriage with a Splash!
50-something Southern belle: We got married last year and he refused to leave for the honeymoon until he went gator hunting. We didn't consummate for three days!
South Carolina
Categories: Gripes | Relationships | Sexuality | South Carolina | Women | Posted 2010-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Last Time I Tried That, I Ended Up at the E.R.
Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!
Gas Station, Alabama
Third-Wave Feminism Finally Reaches Bellingham
Coworker, indignantly: Stop locking up my chuzzles!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Should be working
Categories: Balls | Coworkers | Gripes | Sex | Washington | Posted 2010-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aww, There You Go Again!
Guy to girl making a sound of discontentment: What was that? It was kinda cute. Do it again!
Girl: You think my discontentment is cute?!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Comebacks | Couples | Feelings | Gripes | New Jersey | Relationships | Posted 2010-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are You in the Dark About Gay Sexual Slang, Dear Readers?
Gay husband to his husband: It's these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.
Fairfax, Virginia
It Just Pops Out
Law student: She just gets all boner-fied about civil procedure.
Mississippi College School of Law
Said I Hated Black People Enough for Both Of Us
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me...
Norman, Oklahoma
Have You Ever Felt the Stinging Shame Of a Violin Bow on Your Behind?
High school girl #1: I hate how everyone judges you based on your grades.
High school girl #2: What?
High school girl #3: Well, okay. By "everyone," I mean Asians.
Walter Johnson High School
Maryland
Like I Did That Time You Asked Me Out
Emo kid: Old people see me on the street with my bright pink hair and my studded collar and my eyeliner, and they hate me!
Girl: If I was old and I saw you, I would just laugh.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
Categories: Age and ageing | Fashion | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Hair | Massachusetts | Posted 2010-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, Did You Just Say "Cock Clock"?
Guy #1: I hate Dylan*, he's such a cock clock, you should hear what he did.
Guy #2, first loudly then quietly: No, I've got a story for you! (mumbles story really quietly then gets loud again) So, I mean, it wasn't rape, she totally wanted it, she just happened to fall asleep in the middle.
Guy #1: I don't think this conversation is really appropriate at Burger King, there's kids around.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee
At Least We Have the Alt-world Version
Girl #1: I was so disappointed when I found out Neil Patrick Harris is gay!
Girl #2: I know, right?
Girl #1: It's such a loss for womankind!
Girl #2: Men don't deserve him!
Women's Dressing Room
Western Michigan University
Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | Gender issues | Girls | Gripes | Michigan | Sexuality | Posted 2010-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Suggested I Test the Tracks by Sleeping on Them
Angry girl on cell: No, I seriously hate him. He wouldn't stop laughing at me the entire night, and I felt like an idiot. All I asked was whether real trains still run on train tracks. I mean, I just thought the tracks were antiques that got left behind or something... It's not a stupid question!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: kgirl42
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Let a Toothless Smile Be Your Umbrella
20-something Puerto Rican female passenger: God, I hate this weather!
Young black passenger: Man, I love this weather! The rain is good.
20-something Puerto Rican female passenger: I want sunshine!
Young black passenger: No, man, the rain is great... It's perfect meth weather.
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mia Coleman
Categories: Black people | Bus | Drugs | Feelings | Gripes | Latinas | Washington | Weather | Wishes | Posted 2010-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Blame Sex & the City for This Conversation
Fun date #1: I hate it when guys want to cum on your face every time.
Fun date #2: Yeah, it gets in your eyes.
Fun date #1: And in your hair.
Fun date #3: Once in a while is okay, but not every time.
Outside Coffee Shop
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: browny
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Cum | Friends | Gripes | Time Management | Virginia | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Are a Bit Worried About the Lard
Culinary student #1: I could really go for some duck stuffed with foie.
Culinary student #2: And lard? And berries? (pause) I'll masturbate to that tonight. I hate you!
Culinary student #1, defensively: I live with you, I know your poultry!
Stockholm
Sweden
Categories: Food | Gripes | Masturbation | Students | Sweden | Posted 2010-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Buy the Wii Version.
Guy, mournfully: Tiger fights are so generic now...
Westwood, California
Categories: Animals | California | Gripes | Guys | Weirdness | Posted 2010-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Do Only Two Things, and Neither Very Well
High school girl to friend: You know what I hate? Cocks.
Friend: I know! They're so annoying.
California
Categories: California | Girls | Gripes | Penis | Posted 2010-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't Answer. Crashing.
Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!
Middle School
North Carolina
Categories: Food | Gripes | North Carolina | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Skinny people | Teachers | Posted 2010-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Juliette Lewis Has Made a Career Of It
Girl in track pants: No! People don't look at me and think "oh, that bitch went to the gym." No, they look at me and think "oh, that bitch is nasty!"
UC
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: Beauty | California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Gripes | Posted 2010-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gays Have to Speak in Code in Utah
Man #1: I hate football.
Man #2: Me too.
Man #1: If my son ever wants to play football, I'll disown him.
Man #2: Me too.
(long pause)
Man #2: My dad loves football.
Man #1: Mine too.
Gold's Gym
Orem, Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Categories: Family ties | Gripes | Guys | Utah | Posted 2010-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'd Think They Could Be Programmed Not to Splatter the Seat
Student emerging from bathroom to self: I hate those frickin' androids...
Brookdale Community College
New Jersey
Overheard by: Whiskeysaurus
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gripes | Guys | Insults | New Jersey | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Some Mothers Get Left at Wal-Mart
Daughter: I hate it when things don't have a price on them.
Mother: Oh, how much is it?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: another tired mother
Categories: Gripes | Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Shopping | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Suing for Breach Of the Social Contract
Smelly drunk in silent library room: You don't work for me? Man, no one knows that they work for me!
Public Library
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Drunks | Gripes | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Or Retarded
Loud woman with arms in air: Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Grumpy man: Fuckin' drunks!
Loud woman: I'm not drunk, I'm Canadian!
Canal Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Categories: Character | Drinking & drunks | Foreigners | Gripes | Grumpies | Insults | Louisiana | Posted 2010-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Don't Even Get Me Started on Jessica Simpson
Elderly man: This abstinence shit the Republicans get on about... Abstinence my ass! I've been looking at girls since I was 11. I mean: come on, the Virgin Mary is crying!
North Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Sara
Well, Did You Give Them Prozac?
Guy: My mountains aren't blue anymore. I want a refund.
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Overheard by: Mary
...Now You Pay Attention?
Teacher holding VCR remote control: I keep hitting play, this stupid thing won't work. Must need new batteries.
(changes batteries)
Teacher: Damn thing still won't work, you'd think they would buy machines that work, how are you supposed to learn with such crappy materials?
Student in front row: Ummm... Is that the tape on top of the VCR?
Teacher: Goddamn it!
Manchester, New Hampshire
Categories: Education | Gripes | Grumpies | Insults | Kids | New Hampshire | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Technology | Posted 2010-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Just Want to Graduate, I Don't Want to Know Anything
Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I'm like, "I'm not writing my freaking thesis here!"
Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota
The Crap You Write Proves You Don't Listen to Me
Professor: My job is pretty sweet. All I have to do is show up and talk about something I'm interested in. How sweet is that? It would be even better if I didn't hate all of you.
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Feelings | Gripes | Grumpies | Illinois | Jobs & Careers | Teachers | Posted 2010-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Were Only Growing You for the Organs, Anyway
Dad: Buddy, you have to breathe. You can't hold your breath forever.
Son: No! I'm never going to breathe again. I hate it!
Dad: Sounds good.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: kaybay
Categories: Dads | Family | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Stupidity | Posted 2010-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No One Expects Me to Understand Technology
Old Midwestern lady #1: All these kids bringing their videos games everywhere!
Old Midwestern lady #2: It's depressing! My son-in-law brings his laptop everywhere. Always on the internet.
Old Midwestern lady #1: Is he using one of those blueberries? Or blackpods?
Old Midwestern lady #2: I don't know, I'm just glad I'm old.
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: thankfully on a different flight
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Gadgets | Games | Gripes | Internet | Kids | Laptops | New Jersey | Old folks | Women | Posted 2010-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At the Time, I Considered a March on Washington.
Girl to friend: The Oscars don't really mean shit. I mean, personally, I feel it was a crime when they overlooked Eddie Vedder for best supporting actor in singles.
Atlanta, Georgia
How About "Bacterial Infections Are for Pussies"?
College girl #1: You know how that rumor got started? Because you denied him. It happened to my mom in high school.
College girl #2: "Just because I didn't sleep with you doesn't mean I have chlamydia!" I so need a shirt that says that.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Clothes | Education | Family ties | Gripes | STDs | Sex | Sorority types | Posted 2009-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're All Just So Ignorant, Y'Know?
Man #1: I hate the Middle East.
Man #2: Yeah. We should just nuke that island.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: amazed and frightened
Categories: Geography | Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Violence | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Spent a Whole Week in a Broom Closet Once
Boy #1 to boy #2, who is moving his chair: What the fuck are you doing?
Boy #2: I'm moving you out of the way so I can get by.
Boy #1: What? You could've just asked me to move.
Boy #2: Yeah, but I was trying to save you from having to do anything. Don't worry, I was gonna put you back.
Boy #1: Okay.
Boy #2: I hate when people move me and don't put me back.
Student Center, WCC
Valhalla, New York
Overheard by: Princess Diana
Now at Least Describe the Butts to Me, Winifred.
Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people's butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!
Mall
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: I saw her later stand up...
...But Then It Also Counts As Your Birthday Present.
Hostess: Your son and I were just talking about what he wants for Christmas.
10-year-old boy: Turkey bacon!
Gruff-looking father: You want turkey bacon for Christmas?
10-year-old boy, to hostess: He never buys any!
Gruff-looking father: Hey, if you want turkey bacon for Christmas, I'll get you turkey bacon.
Restaurant
Middletown, Connecticut
Categories: Baristas | Connecticut | Dads | Food | Gifts | Gripes | Kids | Restaurants | Wishes | Posted 2009-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Wars Start: Encapsulated.
20-something woman #1: I have mixed feelings about this bar and grill.
20-something man: I hate this bar and grill.
20-something woman #2: I'm gonna burn down this bar and grill!
Las Vegas, Nevada
One Word About V-Neck Tees and I Will Slit Your Throat
Girl #1: Hey, let's go to The Gap, they have short pants there.
Girl #2, pissed off: Shut the fuck up! I hate you.
Mall
Northern New Jersey
The Country?
Girl #1: Remember that time you chased the porcupine?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was so cute, I just wanted to pet it.
Girl #1: And remember when you tried to run that bullfrog over?
Girl #2: That's because I don't like animals that aren't furry.
Girl #1: What about the porcupine? He's not furry.
Girl #2: But porcupines have feathers, so they count.
Girl #1: Porcupines don't have feathers.
Girl #2: Yes, they do.
Girl #1: They have quills.
Girl #2: Oh! When you were saying "porcupine" I thought you meant "turkey."
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
When Rappers Teach Geography
Girl to friends: Fuck Europe! I got Tanzania all up on my ass!
Atlanta, Georgia
Which, Coincidentally, Is Also K-Mart's Primary Demographic
Woman loading mini van outside K-Mart: I hate mini vans, the only people that need mini vans are old people, white people, crackheads, and people who need 'em.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rebecca
Who Knew It Would Be Anthrax, Though?
Goth girl: Typical, I come to your party and end up wiping white stuff off my ass.
Withrow Park
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alex
Which Is Ironic, Since I'm Only Thirteen.
Girl: I would fuck the diction out of Chris Hansen.
New Hampshire
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: About celebrities | Girls | Gripes | Insults | New Hampshire | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Her Weight Gain Cowed the Electorate Into Submission
Mom to five-year-old: I don't like Oprah Winfrey, because it's her fault Obama is President.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: David Leech
...Let Me Hear the Rest Of That
Jailbait to friends: I just hate being handled, you know?
Giggly friend: Ew!
Jailbait: No, I mean, like... (trails off)
Construction worker, softly, to himself: Oh please, god...
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: do not want
That Faux-Posh Accent Never Fooled Me
Old lady #1: I've never liked her!
Old lady #2: She was a shit at school, and she's a shit now.
West Midlands
England
Why You Often See Sneakers Thrown Over Telephone Wires
Woman to man: I ask you for sneakers, and you give me skanky, nasty sneakers? I will never ask you for sneakers again. I would rather go footless.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: but wouldn't you still need sneakers?
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Massachusetts | Shoes | Women | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But She'd Been Complaining About How She Doesn't Make Enough Bread.
Guy: Oh my god, she hates me!
Girl: What? Why?
Guy: Cause I'm the kid who threw a sandwich at her!
Tacoma, Washington
Australian Sex Ed Is a Lot Different from Ours
Teenage girl: Orgies suck when they smell.
School
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: I worry about this girl
Categories: Australia | Gripes | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teens | Posted 2009-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As the Title Of My Autobiography Clearly States
14-year-old boy to punk friends: Jesus loves me, and I don't give a damn.
Portland, Oregon
Every Hollywood Party, in a Nutshell
Girl at party: These people are so disgusting! One guy actually called dibs on me.
Guy, loudly: Yeah, these people are douchebags.
Girl: Shhhh! They'll hear you!
Guy: So what?
Girl: Then they'll think I'm the one that brought all the weird people to the party.
Guy: You did.
Girl: But I don't want them to know that!
Random party guy: Yeah, dude, stop. You're embarrassing her in front of all the people she hates.
Columbus, Ohio
I Was Just Pointing Out That Most Dogs Don't Have Their Own Bathtubs
Drunk JAP, yelling at boyfriend: I can't deal with your shit anymore! You don't respect me, you ridicule me in front of my friends. You tell me my dog doesn't deserve to live in a house as big as mine! I don't want to live like this!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jill and Weenie
For the Last Time, You're Not Getting My American Express Card
Five-year-old boy, calling to mother in bathroom stall: Mom, we need to talk about something.
Mom: Can it wait?
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mom: What is it?
Five-year-old boy: I need more credit. You don't give me enough credit for the things I do, and my feathers are simply getting ruffled by this.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Laughing
And We're Glad You Did.
(professor starts to write on the board. The chalk breaks. Class laughs. Professor turns around and bumps into the desk. Class laughs harder)
Professor: Shut up! Shut up and listen to me! I am teaching you things and being enthusiastic! ...much as I dislike each and every one of you!
Student: Oh man, I am so writing that down.
SUNY Potsdam
New York
Overheard by: minibab
Are You Pregnant?
Girlfriend: You still have Jack Daniels in my fridge! All nice and frozen. Well, it's not frozen because alcohol has a high freezing point, but it's been in there for months so it's as "frozen" as it's gonna get, well, not really because...
Stressed-out boyfriend: Woman! Too many words in that sentence!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Couples | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | New Jersey | Science | Words | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Bought This Tape Recorder
Indian entrepreneur: I am tired of listening to people talking. I want to listen to me talking.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Bosses | Bringing it back to you | Gripes | Overheard in PDX | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Never Graduate Cum Laude at This Rate
High school punk #1: "Fluids" sounds better.
High school punk #2: I don't like fluids.
High school punk #1: And that's why you're flunking band!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: SaraG(as in gee, I wonder what THAT means...)
As Seen in Good Wool Humping
Irish girl, after sheep show: Well, that wasn't much, was it?
Irish friend: Yeah, just a lot of focking sheep shit.
South Island
New Zealand
Overheard by: fellow tour member who agrees
Categories: Animals | Foreigners | Friends | Girls | Gripes | New Zealand | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, You'll Just Look for Any Excuse to Wear Tights
30-something guy : Growing up sucks. If I knew it was going to be like this I would have put on some tights and run away to fucking Neverland.
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Age and ageing | Canadia | Gripes | Guys | Posted 2009-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What If Learn Something?
Girl navigating display tables during Culture Day event at school: I hate cultures.
Columbus, Ohio
Categories: Girls | Gripes | Ohio | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't Canadia Where TV Shows Go After Death?
Fab teenage girl with huge pink sunglasses: I fucking loved Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye! I have no fucking idea why they canceled it!
Teenage boy dressed in all black, munching cookie: Me neither. That was show was kickass.
Fab teenage girl: Probably 'cuz all the old people were like, "this show's really fucking gay." But I think that that one guy was really hot. Stupid fucking old people.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Props for Not Drinking and Driving, Though
Drunk bus rider #1: Damn, this bus is always so slow!
Drunk bus rider #2: I swear, if I was a wizard, I would turn this bus into a rabbit... But that's fantasy stuff, and I'm not that into fantasy.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Animals | Bus | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Gripes | Magic | Public Transportation | Washington | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Difference Between Bad Nazis and Good Nazis, Encapsulated
Teen girl: If I saw a really crazy sandcastle, I'd totally kick it down. Anyone would.
Teen sister: I would never, like, mess something up like that if someone was really good at something. Unless they were really good at something I hated. Like... being ugly.
Rumson, New Jersey
No One in Paris Ever Pees on Walls or Sits on Steps
Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don't believe this!
Fira
Santorini
Greece
I Also Liked Starving My Baby to Death
Teacher: No one liked middle school. Everyone hates middle school. I'd rather starve to death than teach middle school. I'd rather starve my baby to death than teach middle school.
Student: I liked middle school.
Teacher: Freak!
Portland, Maine
Categories: Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Education | Gripes | Insults | Kids | Maine | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Things Couldn't Be Any Worse If We Were Victims Of Nuclear Holocaust!
Jappy milf #1: I just feel like all I do is sell houses. And I hate it. I just hate my life!
Jappy milf #2: Ugh, I know. We really need to get out of Armonk!
Jappy milf #1: I know. I hate my house! I hate everything in it! My life is horrible here!
Armonk, New York
My Train Is Like the Hotel California, Beeyotch.
Black woman #1: I hate when people wait to the last minute to try and get off at a stop.
Black woman #2: Mmm-hmm.
Black woman #1: I don't let them past if they try to do that shit.
Black woman #2: What you do?
Black woman #1: I'll push their mothafuckin' ass back on the train!
Subway
New York City
Categories: Ass | Black people | Gripes | Insults | New York | Public Transportation | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If We Could Transcribe Chimpanzee Conversations
Angsty teen #1: Why do you hate him?
Angsty teen #2: Because he's always putting shit in my hair.
Angsty teen #1: There are a million better reasons you could hate him for.
Angsty teen #2: Like what?
Angsty teen #1: Being him.
Bus Stop
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: She should be a therapist.
You Ruined the Entire Experience Of Jerry Maguire for Me
American guy #1: Fuck, here I am, sitting on top of some fucking sandmountain in the goddam desert in Chile, god knows how far away from home, to watch some goddam sunset! And I'm not even on my fucking own, or with some hot chick. I'm sitting here with severeal hundred other people. It's such a fucking waste. It's kinda like sitting all alone in the movie theater, and then some dickhead comes and sits down next too you.
American guy #2: Yeah, I did that once!
American guy #1: I hate you. (walks away).
San Pedro de Attacama
Chile
Overheard by: Hege
Categories: Compare and contrast | Foreigners | Gripes | Guys | Insults | South America | Posted 2009-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Piano: "I Had Poison Ivy!"
Girl, bitching to friend: She was scratching my piano! I wanted to throw her down the stairs!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Soko
Let Me Guess: You're a Writer?
Loud 50-something woman, happy and upbeat: I'm just sad. And lonely!
Lafayette, Louisiana
With Sex, You Either Have a Good Time or a Good Story to Tell
Teenage girl: Yeah, he just couldn't orgasm! I spent like three hours on that shit, and after about an hour I was so thirsty I wanted to say "hold up, I'm gonna go get a big gulp." (friend bursts into laughter)
Birmingham, Alabama
And Will, Too, At The Drop Of a Hat
Seven-year-old boy: Jonas Brothers! The Jonas Brothers can suck my ass!
Borders
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Amy D
Categories: About celebrities | Ass | Glad the condom broke | Gripes | Insults | Kids | Music | Texas | Posted 2009-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Just Psyched to Have the Opportunity to Mock It
Tween #1, excitedly: Oh my god! Look, it's High School Musical stuff!
Tween #2: I hate High School Musical.
Tween #1: Oh, well... so do I!
Hickory Hollow Mall
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: i hate it too
Let Me Guess-- Rainbow Sherbert?
Drunken girl: I don't know, Luke, I'm just sick and tired of people who want to sit in their rooms and watch YouTube videos and eat sherbert.
Drunken guy: You don't like sherbert?
Drunken girl: No, I like it... but only with adventure.
Drunken guy: I wanted adventure. I feel kind of bad, though, that I didn't experiment enough.
Drunken girl: With what?
Drunken guy: With guys. I don't know, it just hasn't happened.
Drunken girl: Well, don't rush it. If you let it happen naturally, it will.
Drunken guy: But what if I don't like it? And say, "No, this isn't for me"?
Drunken girl: Let's go eat something.
Drunken guy: Sherbert?
Drunken girl: Yep.
Claremont, California
Always Wondered What Went on at Those Methodist Schools
Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Education | Gripes | Mississippi | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Gonna Give Up the Baby Anyway
Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: not surprised
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Indiana | Parenting | Questions | Teens | Posted 2009-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Requiem for a Dream? Really?
Passenger to attendant: Excuse me? They turned the movie off.
Attendant: Yes, we're landing earlier than thought.
Passenger: Oh, but the movie wasn't over.
Attendant: Sorry about that, but we need to turn it off for descent.
Passenger: But I was watching it!
Attendant: I am very sorry, but since we have started our descent...
Passenger, interrupting: But now I don't know how it ends!
Attendant: They all lived happily ever after.
Qantas Flight to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Seat 14 F
Categories: Airports & flights | Australia | Clients | Flight attendants | Gripes | Happiness | Movies | Public Transportation | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fair Enough. Solitary Confinement It Is, Then.
Newly admitted psych patient: I'm here because I'm crazy! What the hell is art therapy going to do for me?
Highland Park, Illinois
Categories: Crazies | Doctor's office | Gripes | Illinois | Mental illnesses | Patients | Questions | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thank God I Live in Connecticut, Where I Avoid That Sort Of Thing.
Student #1: He went flying over the Rockies and they haven't found his plane.
Professor: Oh, good, good! I hated that guy.
Student #2: Who was he?
Professor: Some rich fucker.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
When Rappers Moonlight.
Train driver: This train is being taken out of service. Brigham Circle will be the last stop for this train. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
E Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: camille
Categories: Advice | Conductors | Gripes | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Train | Posted 2009-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, I'm Twelve.
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Guys | On the phone | Pity | Posted 2009-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Can Only Tolerate the Illusion Of Clean
Semi-drunk girl in pub crawl attire: I hate Windex, but I fuckin' love Febreze!
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: History Major
Categories: Canadia | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Drunks | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Posted 2009-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Proudly Present the Year's Dorkiest Sentence
Student: I didn't get to say "bosums"! Dang it!
Seattle, Washington
Nothing Reaffirms My Masculinity Better Than Tasting the Rainbow.
Angry male: You don't have a couch! Where are the boyfriends and husbands supposed to think?
Tiny shop assistant #1: I really don't know.
Tiny shop assistant #2: Well, we don't have a couch. But we do have Skittles!
Angry male: That will suffice.
Supre Store
Australia
Are You Allowed to Give Me That Advice?
Student, yelling at no one in particular: I can't believe this stupid book is $52! It's a fuckin' softcover 40-page book!
Bookstore employee: Dude, just photocopy it and return it.
Student: Ohhh! Good idea! Thanks!
Bookstore
Los Angeles, California
And the Third Is to Ask If We Watched America's Next Top Model Last Night!
Blond on cell: She doesn't call us in six months and when she does, the first call is to tell us that her boyfriend is dead on some motel floor, and the second call is that her mom is dead on the sofa!
Houston, Texas
Categories: Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Girls | Gripes | Relationships | Texas | Posted 2009-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...On the Eve Of Our Wedding.
Woman to friend: I don't know what her gender or sexuality is. I just can't believe she'd do that to me.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Freda
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Gender issues | Gripes | San Francisco | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2009-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pity Hillary and Obama Can't Be Civil
Lady, bumping into man: What? You're so in a rush you have to knock me down?!
Man: Sorry, I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Lady: Watch where you're going!
Man: Please leave me alone!
Lady: No! You leave me alone!
Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jim
Categories: Default | Gripes | Guys | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Questions | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2009-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It Came with the ESP Feature
Teen guy #1: Fuck, my girlfriend hasn't texted me back in over two hours!
Teen guy #2: Do you even have your phone on you?
Teen guy #1: No, it's in the car.
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Categories: Default | Gripes | Guys | New Zealand | Questions | Relationships | Teens | Texting | Posted 2009-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Lean Cuisine Commercials Have Rocked Our Society to the Core
Girl #1: You know, thanks for listening to my problems. I know you've got a lot of your own, and they're totally worse than mine.
Girl #2: Dude! My problems are like...I had really crappy Chinese for dinner four hours ago shit. Your problems are just like, you had chicken and a salad for dinner last night shit. It's totally cool.
East Tennessee
Overheard by: yeah? well i had lasagna for dinner.
Some Gay Guys Have No Idea How to Woo Each Other
Upset gay boy: This is awful. I just wanted you to see the giant vagina made of sand.
Virginia Tech
Isn't That Like Telling a Starving Person "I Am Stuffed"?
Hot girl to less than hot guy: It gets annoying having guys hitting on you all the time.
Seattle, Washington
I've Barely Clotted from the Last Time
Socially awkward math professor: And now I will attempt to get the same solution using method #2, and if I don't get the same answer, I'm just going to go slit my wrists. (writes on the board for a few minutes, gets a different answer) Well, shit.
University of New Brunswick
New Brunswick
Canadia
Overheard by: yeah, multivariable calculus does that to me, to
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Gripes | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Got Just Those Two Settings
Guy: We're cool now.
Girl: What?
Guy: I said we're cool now.
Girl: Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I smiled at you instead of slitting my throat.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2009-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Also What I Wrote for My Essay About the Statue Of Liberty
High school girl, ranting to friend about biology class: It's *so* annoying...I hate evolution! He goes all into the *designing* of a cell and I'm like "God created it and that's all we need to know." We don't have to go all hi-def into it!
Lancaster Mennonite HIgh School
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Categories: Default | Girls | God | Gripes | Pennsylvania | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Science | Students | Posted 2009-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They'd Kick Themselves When Lauren Hutton's Career Took Off
Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.
Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Default | Gripes | Guys | Restaurants | Texas | Posted 2009-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Main Problem Is the Language Barrier
Young man: I love living in Honolulu, but everything's so expensive. I can barely afford just to live. It's actually pretty common to buy milk for eight dollars a gallon!
20-something girl: Wow! Really? What's the exchange rate there?
Young man (looking rather baffled): It's about one to one.
20-something girl: Oh, well, that's not too bad.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Brian
I Always Try to Make Out with Them
Tween: God, I've had such a terrible day. First I was in a wreck, and then I saw a homeless woman--and you know how I am about homeless people.
Petro Express
Charlotte, North Carolina
Your Attitude Is Giving Me Leg Cramps
Girl to guy: I hate my life so much because of you.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: James
Another Bloody Victory
Tall girl: Hurry up, I really have to pee.
Short girl in heels: Yeah, well, I'm about to hemorrhage through my skirt, so I win.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Everybody from the American South Takes English As a Second Language
Crying girl to friend: And my paper had all these, like, negative comments on it a-a-and then she pulled me aside and compared my paper to people who take English as a second language.
Virginia Commonwealth University, Virginia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Girls | Gripes | Virginia | Posted 2009-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Who Wants Ice Cream?
Administrator (mumbling to herself): Maybe I should just fire everyone here. (opens a drawer) Oh, here's my spoon. Okay, maybe everyone can keep their jobs.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: spoon.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Gripes | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Sermons Are More Uplifting Than Others
Girl: I'm not going to have fun because I'm going to be sober...and whiny!
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Texas | Posted 2009-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Knew What You Were Getting Into When You Agreed to Date Paul Bunyan
40-something woman: So now all my panties are gross and streched out.
Friend: What a jerk!
Macy's
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: megansbaby
Americans Are So Cute
Whiny five-year-old: Mama! I'm soooo hungry!
Frustrated mom: Well, I don't care! And do you know why? Nobody ever died from hunger!
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
Wait 'Til She Realizes Drag Queens Have Better Legs Than She Does
20-something girl #1: Did you hear Dan and Jack are getting married?
20-something girl #2: But they're guys.
20-something girl #1: Yeah... guys who fell in love in college, have been together eight years, have never broken up once, and Dan proposed while they were in Paris.
20-something girl #2: Bitches! They stole my dream! See, this is why feminism sucks.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | Gripes | Maryland | Philosophy | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eh, I'm Joining the Marines Next Year, Anyway
Guy #1: We had to read Catcher in the Rye and Uncle Tom's Cabin last year! It was ridiculous!
Guy #2: Aren't they the same story?
Fauquier High
Warrenton, Virginia
Overheard by:
The Original Line at the End Of Gone with the Wind
Girl #1: I'm having the worst day today.
Girl #2: Yeah, it's a good thing I had sex yesterday. Otherwise, today would just be hell.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Gripes | Sex | Washington | Posted 2008-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Call It Froast!
Professor: I invent things too! My great invention is this toast, and you make it in a toaster, and then you stick it in the freezer. And, like, when you want toast, you just put it back in the toaster...
Students: (confused silence)
Professor: Man, no one understands me! (stomps out)
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Gripes | New York | Students | Teachers | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wow, Virginia Really Is for Lovers
Girl #1: You look like you had a wild weekend!
Girl #2: Yeah, I'm so sore I can barely walk...
Girl #1: So who all was there?
Girl #2: Oh, you know: Dillon, Chad, Mike, my dad, my mom...
University of Virginia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Beginning to Regret Letting You Steal Me from That Playground
Four-year old: But I want to go in there!
Frazzled mother: No! Let's go, we have to get home.
Four-year old (crying): You aren't the right mother for me!
Berlin
Germany
Technically, I Don't Even Think I'm in That Class
Girl #1: And everyone was like, "What? This isn't what was on the study sheet! This test is unfair! We're so confused!"
Girl #2: Oh, wow. Were you confused, too?
Girl #1: No, I didn't look at the study sheet. I went downstairs and drank a bottle of wine with you.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Education | Girls | Gripes | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2008-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Only There Were Some Way to Limit How Many Can Register
Professor #1: Trying to crowd thirty-two students into a space meant for sixteen just isn't working.
Professor #2: Oh, really?
Professor #1: Is it at all possible to have the room reassigned without wading through the bureaucracy?
Professor #2: No, and that's why I always assign the thickest and most difficult readings in the first two weeks.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Coworkers | Default | Education | Gripes | Offers and requests | Overheard at York | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Must Now Go and Tell the World My Tale of Woe
Pained 20-something woman: Ouch! I hit myself in my already sore crotch with my overly heavy purse.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: Dan
Categories: Body parts | Default | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2008-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Gross As Mickey Mouse Christmas Ornaments, Honey
Hallmark salesgirl: My stomach really hurts.
Queer: Does your face hurt too?
Hallmark salesgirl (long pause): Oh my god, gross!
McLean, Virginia
And Don't Get Me Started on the Blood, Dawg
Pastor, placing a piece of bread in guy's hand: The body of Christ, given to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl's friend: I hear ya.
St. Jude's Church
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Feebriel
Categories: Canadia | Default | Food | Girls | Gripes | Jesus | Religious fanatics | Sensory experiences | Teens | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're the Worst Thesis Advisor Ever
Girl walking through campus: I can't believe you, I'm sitting in my living room in nothing but a towel, with mascara streaming down my face and you don't even care!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: You sit on a throne of lies
Think We Could Get That Classified As a Learning Disorder?
Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: sean
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Colorado | Default | Fears | Gender issues | Gripes | Guys | Questions | Posted 2008-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
e e cummings Would Go on to Fame and Fortune
Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need...
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Birds | Crazies | Default | Gripes | Guys | Hobos | Mental illnesses | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because You're the Big Top, Pee-wee
(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?
Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks
Yet Another Situation That Calls for Drugs
20-something girl: Rehab totally sucks. The halfway house only has basic cable.
#16 Bus
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: unysmpathetic
Some People Just Look Better with Misshapen Skulls
Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.
Houston, Texas
Categories: Compliments | Death & dying | Default | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Insults | Texas | Posted 2008-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ooo--Indian Burrrnnn!
Drunk girl screaming: No one here cares about any of the issues. None of you are from here. That just makes me sick, none of you are fucking from here.
Bus driver over PA: Sweetie, unless your name is Pocahontas, you're not from here either.
NJ Transit Bus
Categories: Bus drivers | Default | Drunks | Geography | Gripes | Insults | Names | New Jersey | Pop culture | Posted 2008-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, If You're Sick Of Lecturing, Think How We Feel
Professor: Man, I'm sick of this lecture. Let's just leave.
Johnson and Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Misaki
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Gripes | Offers and requests | Rhode Island | Teachers | Posted 2008-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Yells at Me for Throwing Her Thongs Out of It
Skinny brunette: I hate her! I hate her so much!
Fat chick: Why? What did she do this time?
Skinny brunette: It's just the same stuff. She hangs her thongs on the wall, and they keep multiplying. Plus, she leaves the window opened.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fat people | Feelings | Gripes | New York | Undies | Posted 2008-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have I Got a Girl for You
Male student: I just... can't control my erections.
Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Erections | Gripes | Guys | Students | Washington | Posted 2008-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So the Kardashians Are Safe
Girl: Oh my god, that is so slutty!
Guy: Not it's not! Sluts in unison aren't as slutty.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Peer Pressure Is Overwhelming
20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don't understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!
Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Dancing | Default | Gripes | On the phone | Suits | Utah | Posted 2008-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Most Emmy Winners Would've Preferred That Too
Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Food | Girls | Gripes | Grumpies | Massachusetts | Politics | Posted 2008-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Girls But Were Afraid to Ask
Teen girl #1: Ugh, I get so gassy when I'm on my rag.
Teen girl #2: I'm just gassy all the time!
Teen girl #1: Ugh, I know.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Default | Gender issues | Girls | Gripes | Sensory experiences | Teens | Posted 2008-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fuck Imitation, Rape Is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
Brother: How come mom drives all the way to the mall to get you but I have to take the bus home?
Sister: I don't know, I guess she thinks it isn't safe.
Brother: Oh yeah, I forgot girls are helpless.
Sister: Uh, probably because I'm more likely to get raped and beaten!
Brother: Ooooh, look at miss popular.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Gender issues | Gripes | Parenting | Pennsylvania | Siblings | Posted 2008-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Don't Make These Up
Annoying daughter: Ewww, don't order broccoli pizza. That's gross!
White trash mom: Smell my armpit.
Annoying daughter: Okay!
White trash mom: Here, smell this one too.
Roma Pizza
Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: grossed out
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Food | Gripes | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Restaurants | Posted 2008-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Portrait of the Social Worker As a Young Girl
Eight-year-old girl standing on shopping carriage to mother 15 feet away: Do not leave your child unattended! (slight pause) Mom! Get over here!
Wal-Mart
Seabrook, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: Default | Girls | Gripes | Kids | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Parenting | Stores | Posted 2008-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Go to Med School?
20-something girl on cell: I'm sunburnt, drunk, and Asian, so why not? Why not?
The Wildcat Lounge
Santa Barbara, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | California | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Gripes | Questions | Race | Posted 2008-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seriously, How Do You People Live There Without Giggling?
Soccer mom: I'm sorry, but if I were your neighbor, I would not share an opossum with you!
Nail Salon
Cumming, Georgia
Sentences Involving "Mom" and "Underwear" Aren't Typically a Recipe for Normalcy
Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you my mom is wearing thong underwear?
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, that is so weird!
Old Navy Store
Kansas City, Missouri
Am I the Only Goat Nanny in New Orleans?
Elderly woman on cell: Hello? What? How many goats? Give it to Nancy*. Just leave it on her porch. It's just one and I don't want it. (long pause) Put it there and ring the doorbell. I don't care how you do it, I'm on vacation, don't bother me. (hangs up phone)
Louis Armstrong International Airport
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: T Perk
Something Like That Is Close to a Man's Heart
Girlfriend: This is your out-of-town toothpaste.
Boyfriend: So?
Girlfriend: Look how fucked up it is!
Boyfriend: Don't start talking shit about my toothpaste!
Shelby, Michigan
Categories: Couples | Default | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Posted 2008-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Only Go to the Cafeteria to Test Myself
Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!
Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: waiting in line
But Then You Have to Live with It Haunting Your Dreams
Chick: You have never truly lived until you have been surrounded by drunk Welsh rugby fans singing I Touch Myself.
International Airport
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Airports & flights | Chicks | Colorado | Default | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Music | Posted 2008-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Professional Jello Wrestling Has Its Pratfalls, Sweetie
Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.
Quiznos
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene
They Were Naked Already
Man in line for character photos: Crap, I just took a picture of someone else's kids, I'm not a pedophile, don't start thinking that!
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
And We've Got This Whole Textbook for the Class to Share
(math test is interrupted by a loud construction drill in the next room).
Student: Oh my god, I can't take this test anymore! Can you tell them to stop, please?!
Teacher: Heh... At least there aren't bullets flying over your head.
Concord High School
California
Overheard by: When I was in Vietnam
Categories: California | Education | Feelings | Gripes | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Violence | Posted 2008-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How I Met Your Mother
Drunk man to woman passing by: Fornication is evil! Thou shalt be kind to your neighbours!
Woman: Yeah, well, god built the Nevada desert and the Colorado River and then we came and built the Hoover Dam, leaving people without water or resources. So just by being here we're fucking over our neigbours.
Drunk man: Can I kiss you?
Outside The Flamingo
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Steph
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Evil | Gripes | Nevada | Strangers | US Geography | Women | Posted 2008-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Compounded by My Inability to Tell Hot from Cold, It's a Logistical Nightmare
Guy: Leggings are fucking up everything. I used to know when it was winter because girls would stop wearing skirts, but now thanks to leggings they can wear them all year. It's bullshit.
Connecticut College
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Connecticut | Default | Gender issues | Gripes | Guys | Posted 2008-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Puppies Were Terrible People
Guy: So, you can talk about stabbing puppies but I can't talk about punting babies? That doesn't seem right.
Girl: That's exactly right.
Rutgers Stadium, New Jersey
Categories: Animals | Death & dying | Default | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Kids | New Jersey | Violence | Posted 2008-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guess Which One's from Jersey
Chick #1: The problem with buying a house seized by the police? Someone could have been murdered there.
Chick #2: That's not a problem, that's a bonus!
Aurora, Colorado
If You Make a Pop Culture Reference, They Accuse You Of Being a Jew
Gucci girl to friends: God! I'm so tired of my Nazi book group! (silence) I mean, they don't want cookies, they don't want to socialize, it's just like, book book book you may not mention anything besides the book!
Glencoe, Illinois
Overheard by: I was worried for a minute
Even If He Does Host The O'Reilly Factor
Girl to friends: I'm 31 years old, for Christ's sake. My mom doesn't get it. I'm too fucking old to get excited about some guy that pisses himself, calls me up and acts like it's a fucking achievement.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Family ties | Georgia | Girls | Gripes | Pee | Posted 2008-07-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is It Your Time of the Math?
Puzzled teen: I swear I've never seen so much math on a napkin before.
Women's Bathroom, Wynkoop Brewery
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Bathroom Goer