Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Fruit All Categories > Topics > Food > Fruit
Recent | Best Of
That Carmen Miranda Costume Will Be Done in No Time!
Woman on cell: Slowly... over the next week... add a fruit.
Barnes & Noble
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Advice | Fruit | Missouri | On the phone | Stores | Time Management | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More Women With Dirtier Minds Than Men
Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they're Bob's* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]
Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: I laughed because I didn't know what was going on
Sometimes She Feels Like Wearing It. Sometimes She Doesn't
Big sister: Look sis! This coat says it was made in Macedonia.
Little sister: Isn't that a nut?
Macy's at Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York
Golden Showers Count As "Animal," Right?
Mid-20s girl: So, I've been a vegetarian for about six years now and I'm trying to phase out all animal products.
Mid-40s woman: Oh, I could never be a vegetarian, I'd die. I like my potatoes too much.
Mid-20s girl: Umm... Potatoes are vegetables.
Mid-40s woman: Yeah, I guess you're right. But I mean like peas and stuff.
Kokomo, Indiana
Overheard by: Justin
And If I Eat That I Get a Rash
Doctor: Are you allergic to anything?
Patient: Yes, nuts!
Doctor: What happens when you ingest nuts?
Patient: They come out whole in my poop!
Waterloo, Iowa
Mango: Nobody Touch Me!
Lady on PA system: United 119 passengers can claim their baggage at carousel D... D as in delicious. Delicious mango. Delicious, delicious mangoes.
Logan International Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: John Y
Categories: Advice | Airports & flights | Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Fruit | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Probably the "Pot" As Well.
Skateboarder in large banana suit: We put the 'ass' in 'potassium'!
Ohio State University
Ohio
And That Was the Extent of My "Birds and Bees" Talk
Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Here, Have Some Incense and Peppermints
Hippie guy: I suggest you stop picking up small animals and fruit skins. It's not good for you.
Eugene, Oregon
Is That Nice Doctor Helping You at All?
Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don't eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I've always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left... this.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sistersaywhat
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Geez, You Better
Girl to friends: Did he use a condom? No, never mind, you don't use a condom when you're fucking grapefruit.
Montreal
Canadia
Because I Plan to Smile the Whole Fucking Way Home
Husband: Do you want any strawberries?
Wife: No.
Husband: Do you want any pears?
Wife: No.
Husband: Do you want any peaches?
Wife: No [walks away].
Husband, to clerk: I'll take some strawberries, pears, and peaches.
Payson, Arizona
Isn't This a Knock-Knock Joke?
Chick #1, when friend drops her orange: I hope that's bruised now.
Chick #2: Bananas don't bruise!
Chick #1: ... That's an orange!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Fruit | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Honey, Not the Strawberry -- I'm Still Sore From Last Night
Chick: ... But it's only about the size of a strawberry.
Dude: And all I'm saying is that a strategically placed strawberry can exert a surprising amount of pressure.
Random passerby: Right on!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Categories: Friends | Fruit | Washington | Posted 2007-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For You, No. But Me?
Chick: So, first of all, I'm allergic to mango skin. So sticking one up my vagina just wouldn't work.
Shout-out: greenoverheard.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Kink | So College | Vagina | Posted 2007-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
