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It Can't Be Worse Than That Burger, Right?
Hostess: Hope you all enjoyed your meal tonight!
Woman customer: It was horrible!
Hostess: Okay, well, have a good night!
American Cafe
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Emily
But I'm the One Who Lobbied the Administration for a Pole!
RA: You guys went stripping without me?
Swarthmore College
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania
Categories: Feelings | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sexuality | Students | Posted 2011-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sad Thing Is, Not Everyone Thinks You're Crazy.
Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.
Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Character | Feelings | Girls | Pop culture | Posted 2011-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Only There Were Some Way to Prevent That...
Woman: We are having more kids, dammit!
Fort Worth, Texas
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Tree
Woman at Origins of the universe sequence at screening of The Tree of Life: We should have seen Bridesmaids.
Companion: Shut up!
Brisbane
Australia
Where Canadian Bacon Comes From?
60-something man, watching obese woman board bus, loudly: So fat!
30-something woman, quietly: Yeah, sometimes it might be genetics or something. Not just cured by exercise, you know?
60-something man, loudly: I try to avoid getting too close to people who are that fat. I'm scared they'll just explode and innards will get all over me!
30-something woman: (disgusted look)
London
Canadia
Overheard by: On the bus
...Are You Fingering Me?
Drunk guy: Do you hate me?
Drunk girl: No, no, I really don't.
Drunk guy: I always thought you did.
Drunk girl: No. (pause) I mean you're not my favorite person, but I like you fine.
Drunk guy: So we're friends?
Drunk girl: Definitely friends.
Drunk guy: Hug? To celebrate our new-found friendship?
Drunk girl: Sure (hugs him)
Drunk guy: Awesome! I'm so happy we're friends!
Drunk girl: Me too! (pause) I'm so drunk right now...
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Australia | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Feelings | Questions | Posted 2011-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Which Is Weird, Because I Keep Fucking Complete Douches.
Teen girl #1: Tell him it's a date. I need to get laid.
Teen girl #2: Oh my goodness.
Teen girl #1: My vagina has cobwebs!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Carly
The Postal Service Has Really Stepped Up Its Game
Man to woman at post office: Oh, I must be hallucinating.
Post office lady: Congratulations, that's lovely.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Compliments | Employees | Feelings | Guys | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alcohol Helps You Deal with the Strange.
Guy in pub, having just arrived at the table where his friends are: I have had the strangest day, and I'm not even drunk yet.
Canterbury
England
Overheard by: Noel
Categories: Drinking & drunks | England | Feelings | Guys | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why She Shops at The Gap.
Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Old Man
The Library? Nooooo!
Woman on cell: I'm at the library because I'm so fucking pissed off at you!
Library Parking Lot
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
Every Spanish-Language Soap Opera, in a Nutshell.
Girl in next aisle: Spanish doctor, pregnant nurse! Oh, snap!
Barnes & Noble
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Pregnancy | Race | Relationships | Posted 2011-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Schoolhouse Rock Was Born
Girl: I feel rather drunk at this conjuncture!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Character | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Girls | Illinois | Posted 2011-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What? I'm an Adult in the Eyes Of the Church!
Newly confirmed 15-year-old: Man, hangovers suck.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Teens | Posted 2011-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Much As Spencer from The Hills, But Close.
20-something girl: You know, slavery just bugs me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just a bug
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2011-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Song?
Sorostitute: Like, ohmigod, Africa is like so cute!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Feelings | Geography | Massachusetts | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or I Did Until I Realized How Many Doors It Opens
Girl: I hate those girls that are like, "Oh, look at me, I can dance with my hand in my hair!"
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Times Are Tough in Michigan, Dear Reader
Architect, describing high school renovations to student body: And these will be new bathrooms.
Boy: Fuck yeah! New bathrooms!
(thunderous applause)
St. Joseph, Michigan
...I Want a Postcard!
Woman, dropping friend off at airport, then heading to doctor's office: Enjoy your two weeks in France.
Friend: Thanks, enjoy your colonoscopy.
Airport
Ithaca, New York
The Old Testament God Rides the MTA With His Mom
Eight-year-old boy: Mommy... I can't wait for my day of vengeance to be at hand.
Mother: I know he's unlikable, but there are quieter ways.
Eight-year-old boy, wielding stick in hand: I wanna use this.
Mother: He'll shush up if you put a bow and arrow through his eye.
MTA
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: PatriotAhckt
Now I Just Need to Wring the Vomit Out Of My Shirt, and We Can Go Again
Girl getting off Supreme Scream, to no one in particular: I did it! (lowers voice) And I didn't pee!
Knott's Berry Farm
California
Categories: California | Character | Feelings | Girls | Pee | Posted 2011-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Wouldn't Miss the Creepy, Animatronic Way in Which He Solicited Your "Friendship"?
20-something guy to friends: Yeah, I had a Teddy Ruxpin and I loved it but it made me feel sorta weird having it in my room and stuff, so I sold it on eBay. I regretted it instantly.
Atlanta, Georgia
Let Us Never Speak Of This Again.
College guy, watching little girl in husky cheerleader outfit: What's with all these cheerleaders everywhere? I like it!
Female friend: Dude, that sounded kind of wrong, she's like six.
College guy: Yeah... I just realized that.
UW Husky Tailgate
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Face
Categories: Age and ageing | Feelings | Guys | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ask John Wayne
Man playing fantasy board game: You can have as many pilgrims as you want!
Wegmans
Woodbridge, New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Guys | New Jersey | Religion | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Time, Do It in Your Coy, Playful Way!
Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.
Church Tag Sale
New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pop Quiz: Who's She Talking To?
Woman: I'm glad all my friendships are online!
Melbourne
Australia
Instead Of Silently Filming It, Like I Do Currently.
Guy to friend talking during movie: Dude, shut the fuck up! I'm gonna walk in while you're having sex and go, "aw, look, she's moaning!"
overheardattcnj.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Overheard at TCNJ
Categories: Feelings | Guys | Other sites | Sex | Threats | Posted 2011-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...My Salty, Greasy, Utterly Empty Life
Stoned girl looking at bottom of empty chip bag: Ugh, this is why I hate life.
Elk Grove, California
Overheard by: MelBee
Categories: California | Druggies | Feelings | Food | Gripes | Posted 2011-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Nation, Under Beer...
Guy #1: This root beer is really... inspirational.
Guy #2, thoughtfully: Canadians like all types of beer...
Hot Docs Festival
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Guys | Philosophy | Posted 2011-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Oversized T-Shirts and Puffy Bangs No Longer Have Any Hold Over Me!
Bum, to nobody in particular: I hate you, DJ Tanner!
Sacramento, California
Categories: About celebrities | California | Feelings | Homeless | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So, All in All, It Was a Successful Party.
Girl: I look retarded!
Guy: My balls hurt.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Think Of It As a Cheap Facelift!
Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don't like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You'll be fine, grandma. Come on!
Universal Studios
Florida
Chicago Has Two Types Of Bears, Ma'am
Guy #1: I loved the way you fucked me last night.
Guy #2: I can't wait to do it again, tonight.
Guy #1: Mmmm, I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
Annoyed woman sitting in front of them: You two fools do realize everyone on the bus can hear you, don't you?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: CTA bus rider
It's a Small Mind After All
Teenage girl to mother in annoyed tone: Everything in here is too Asian.
Japan Pavilion Shop
Epcot, Walt Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: I'm living in a world I do not understand
Her Favorite Country Is Switzerland.
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #1: Beige is my favorite shade...
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #2, interrupting: Oh my gawd, the neutrals! I love the neutrals!
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
Plus, Skinny Girls Won't Sit Still
Male student during history class: Why are the women in these nude paintings so plump?
Professor: Because the artists had good taste.
Female student: That's right!
University of Missouri
Overheard by: Kathryn Bjornstad
I Hope to Graduate Magma Cum Laude
Teacher: That would make such a great scene in a movie: A volcano smoking, then it erupts, and thousands of ninjas spout out of it and run forth and populate the earth!
Student: This is the best class ever!
Memphis, Tennessee
Why I Stoped Watching Kirstie Alley's Reality Show
Woman on phone: Girl, I just ate a fat-ass quesadilla, and now I feel fat as fuck.
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Diet & weight | Feelings | Food | On the phone | Women | Posted 2011-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Bon Jovi Song That Everyone Forgets
Guy, about girl crying at the bar: You can't cry and wear leather!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Clothes | Feelings | Guys | New Jersey | Philosophy | Posted 2011-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...If You Ever Want a Seat in the House Of Commons
Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Rip Taylor Was Born That Way
Guy about his brother: His only emotion is glitter.
Friend: That's true of all eight-year-olds.
Guy: No, dude, you don't get it. One. Emotion.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Harry
Categories: Character | Connecticut | Family ties | Feelings | Friends | Posted 2011-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only One Of Us Actually Uses Our Noodle.
Twin guy #1: This pillow smells like my dreams!
Girl, smelling pillow: Beef Ramen noodles?
Twin guy #1: I am awesome at dreaming!
Twin guy #2: This is why I hate that we have the same face.
Milford Mall
Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Layla
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Puberty Is Fun!
12-year-old boy, enthusiastically: I like my genitalia!
Portland, Oregon
Gotta Love the Church Bake Sale.
Young dude: Man, my jaw hurts.
Chick: Must have been all that sucking last night.
Young dude: Gotta be from something. Plus, I don't remember anything, so...
Quakertown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ken
Categories: BJs | Body parts | Feelings | Guys | Memory lane | Pennsylvania | Posted 2011-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Thinking About Food Nonstop
Obese guy to another: That's what I like most about dieting...
Ferndale, Washington
Categories: Character | Diet & weight | Fat people | Feelings | Washington | Posted 2011-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Ultra-boring Game Show Prickle Factor Was Canceled After Just One Episode.
Guy#1: I just don't like shaved vaginas. They creep me out. I got down there and I was like "Oh"!
Guy#2: Yeah, you have the prickle factor.
Guy#1: There was no prickle factor...
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Josh
Utah Produces Only Two Kinds Of Girls
Girl #1: Wait, you said no?! Did you know he's pre-med?
Girl #2: Yeah, but I don't really like him.
Girl #1: So?
Orem, Utah
The Sassy New Rap Song by Gloria Steinem
Old redneck to wife: I don't need no damn misogynist. I done tried that, and it didn't help.
Greenville, South Carolina
Categories: Character | Couples | Feelings | Insults | Relationships | South Carolina | Posted 2011-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They'll Tell Us What to Do
Teen, hearing that IBM computer "Watson" is winning at Jeopardy: That makes me so happy! We have robot overlords!
Ithaca, New York
Categories: Feelings | New York | Technology | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's 1 A.M., Sir.
Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours...
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Finishing a Woman's Sentences Is Risky Business, Gentlemen
Woman wearing puffy coat: Wearing a puffy coat makes me feel like ...
Man also wearing a puffy coat: It makes me feel like dancing.
Woman: ...punching people.
Quebec City
Canadia
Raise Your Hand If You'd Watch Their Reality Show.
30-something woman: I will never find true love.
Barely legal guy: Well, you've got a husband, you've got me, and you've got the two other guys you're sleeping with, so it's not for lack of trying!
Clarksville, Indiana
Categories: Compliments | Feelings | Guys | Happiness | Indiana | Relationships | Women | Posted 2011-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After the Way It's Treated Me
Woman, discussing Star Trek: It's like, I don't give a crap about the stupid Falcon death trap.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: MoMo
Categories: Canadia | Feelings | Philosophy | TV shows | Women | Posted 2011-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That a Song from Rent?
Guy #1: Yeah, getting crabs would suck.
Guy #2: Totally. But Aids would suck worse. There's no shampoo for Aids.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: too soon? I think so
Categories: Feelings | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | STDs | Posted 2011-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm So Glad We Can Talk Like This
Girl #1, sitting on couch: I hate it when people sit on chairs that are facing me. It's irritating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are other places they can sit.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: girl sitting on chair facing you
Categories: Character | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2011-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: 2 Fast 2 Delicious
Girl on cell: Not only did she steal my car, she ate the fucking cupcakes!
Southern Connecticut State University
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Posted 2011-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
TV Lied to Me
Six-year-old boy holding "pillow pet", singing: It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a pillow pet! (then, whispering to himself) This isn't as cool as I thought it would be...
Target
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: M
The FDA Says I Have To
20-something hot girl on cell: I was going to sleep with you, until you said "is this a good idea?"
New Jersey
Overheard by: kiera
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Save That for Therapy.
Five-year-old girl to hair brush: Mommy doesn't want me to buy you or to talk to you... That makes me sad.
Embarrassed mom: Come on sweetie, let's go home.
(kid keeps talking to hair brush, mom yanks it away)
Mom, leaving store: Now is not the time to talk to hair brushes!
North Carolina
Overheard by: Wondering why mom was embarrassed
Categories: Education | Feelings | Kids | Mental illnesses | Moms | North Carolina | Parenting | Posted 2011-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Anyone Was Like Jesus, It Was Trotsky
Freshman: My professor just compared Karl Marx to Jesus. I am not feeling it.
Claremont Colleges
Claremont, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Education | Feelings | Pop culture | Students | Posted 2011-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who's Thinking Of the Baby Ruth Scene from Caddyshack?
Aikido student: Um, Sensei, I think there's spit on the mat...
Sensei: There's sweat on the mat?
Aikido Student: No, spit.
Sensei: Oh, spit! That's gross!
Humboldt State University
Arcata, California
Overheard by: Eli
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Feelings | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2011-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Be Fair, Wouldn't You?
Supervisor, looking at sole of kid's shoe: Hey, is that a Hannah Montana shoe?
Seven-year-old kid: Yeah. I don't like Hannah Montana, though. I just bought these so I could step on her face all day.
Calgary
Canadia
Categories: About celebrities | Feelings | Kids | Questions | Posted 2011-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
See Those Guys Outside Erecting a Monument to My Not-Caring?
30-something woman: Should we get this one?
Mom: It comes with two 8x10s.
30-something woman, to brother across room: Do you want an 8x10?
Brother: Don't care.
30-something woman: Maybe we should get this one with the 5x7s. (to brother) Do you want a 5x7?
Brother: It's incredible how much I don't care.
Photo Studio
Germantown, Maryland
Overheard by: Daniel
Lesbian Girl Scouts Are Always Prepared
Woman, trying to hush crying baby: Shhhhh... It's okay.
College girl: Ma'am, I am prepared to set fire to your child.
Parkersburg, West Virginia
Plus I Can't Color-coordinate a Window-Valence Worth a Darn!
60-year-old drunk in bar: The only reason I've never tried being gay is because I'm afraid I might like it.
Sandy Springs, Georgia
Overheard by: Me too...
I Now Teach Courses in It to Other Moms
Kid: Mom... Mom... Mom! You're ignoring me again!
Mom: Yeah, I know. I've sort of learned to tune you out.
Bellingham, Washington
How Come My School's "Culture Day" Is Never That Exciting?
Teen #1: So he's running around with his dick like slapping his abs and he goes "what time you wanna come over?"
Teen #2: His Puerto Rican dick?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2, sighing dreamily: Oh yeahhhhh.
Flinder's Street Station
Melbourne
Australia
Everyone Wants Into My Oval Office
Girl to another: If I end up having gotten knocked up during the presidential debates, I'm going to be fucking pissed.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
One Of the Many Reasons I Miss College
Guy friend: I'm super excited to have couscous and sausage for lunch.
Girl friend: Yeah, I'm always kinda down till I get some sausage in me.
Guy friend: Whoa!
Bangor, Maine
Overheard by: Sarita
The Two Types Of People: Encapsulated.
Mom: Oh, no... A dead chipmunk.
Small child: Yay! A dead chipmunk!
Morgantown, West Virginia
Categories: Animals | Death & dying | Family | Feelings | Happiness | Kids | West Virginia | Posted 2010-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Bitch Stole My Louis Vuitton Luggage and Skipped Town
Flamboyant gay dude: I'm trying to get in touch with my inner prostitute.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: not buying
Categories: Feelings | Gays | Gender issues | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pop Quiz: Calculate the Odds It Will Actually Be Fine
Guy to girl in motel breakfast room: Fine! You want to fuck, then let's fuck!
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Couples | Feelings | Relationships | Sex | Washington | Posted 2010-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But Isn't That Why I'm Here?
Cheerful student: Cheer up! It's going to be okay.
Glum professor: Says who? You?
Cheerful student: Yes!
Glum professor: But you don't know anything.
Cheerful student: True!
UC Berkeley School of Journalism
California
Your Editors Have Started to Hyperventilate
Upset girl to friend: Everything's not the way it should be, it's all wrong. I fail at life.
Friend: Oh, no, you don't fail at life! This is just one of those little things you will fix, along with other things you will fix, and in the end, you'll end up with a pile of little fixed things.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Advice | Chicks | Comebacks | Compliments | Feelings | New Zealand | Posted 2010-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aww, There You Go Again!
Guy to girl making a sound of discontentment: What was that? It was kinda cute. Do it again!
Girl: You think my discontentment is cute?!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Comebacks | Couples | Feelings | Gripes | New Jersey | Relationships | Posted 2010-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Amicable Separation:" Defined
Woman to others: And every time she sees him, she shakes her fist at him, like this! (shakes fist in the air)
Harris Teeter
Charlotte, North Carolina
Categories: Crazies | Feelings | Hands | North Carolina | Relationships | Threats | Posted 2010-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, Incidentally, Is Also the Title Of My Autobiography.
British girl: That being said, I don't worry about hiccups much, but I do worry about life a lot.
United Flight
Yerevan
Armenia
Categories: Airports & flights | Feelings | Foreigners | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Posted 2010-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Errol Is Human. My Dick: Divine.
Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
When Summer's Eve Merged with The Learning Channel
Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we're, like, related to monkeys?
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2010-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Most Girls Fear Being Gaynablers
Young boyfriend, trying to weasel out of seeing Legally Blonde 2: I... I just don't think I'm emotionally ready for the uncut version. Do you think I'm ready? I don't.
Young girlfriend: You should have pulled the "it might make me gay" card.
Friend: I think his way was more gay.
Young girlfriend: Which concerns me...
Scotrun, New York
Um, Isn't That a Burger King Crown?
Drunk aboriginal man to drunk friends: I just got out of jail. My mum's been crying for me, my dog's been praying for me, my uncle Bob's been praying for me, all to get me back to Narrogin. I tell you, I'm the king of that town.
Fremantle
Australia
...Let Us Pray
20-something nasty-looking girl in pub, scratching furiously down trousers: Jesus, my clunge itches!
Leamington Spa
England
Don't You Mean "Fabulous"?
Five-year-old boy to mom: Does it feel weird to have a vagina?
Mom: Well, I've had one my whole life, so it feels normal to me.
Five-year-old boy: I wish I knew what it felt like to have one!
Mom: I'm pretty sure you'll be a member of the LGBT community anyway, so maybe you'll find out.
Five-year-old boy: What's LGBT?
Mom: You'll find out soon enough, honey.
Five-year-old boy: That sounds really cool!
Roseville, California
Overheard by: Nature vs Nurture
There Was an Unfortunate Incident With Jeffrey at Toys Я Us
Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No... You know... The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew... Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant
Categories: Age and ageing | Animals | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Insults | San Francisco | Sex | Posted 2010-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I'd Prefer Not to Be Thought Of As a Person.
Bad egg in sweater-vest: Gandhi was a Marlboro man, not Newport.
Friend in tight polo: You're the worst sort of person.
Bad egg in sweater-vest: That hurts.
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: About celebrities | Assholes | Comebacks | Connecticut | Feelings | Friends | Smoking | Posted 2010-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But With Bottled Water
Male college student, about 30-town boil water order: I feel like I'm in Mad Max!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jean
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | Massachusetts | Movies | Students | Posted 2010-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Condoms?
College guy, shouting out window: She makes me jealous. She's so hot!
Friend, mumbling: 48-pack!
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Categories: Beauty | Feelings | Frat boy types | Friends | Indiana | Posted 2010-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have You Even Read "Romeo and Juliet", Sir?
Priest: Their first love has brought them so many tears and grief... and black eyes. But they will love again!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Christianity | Feelings | New Jersey | Religious fanatics | Violence | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not Like Your GPS Has Anything Better to Do
Middle aged guy leaning against big truck: She just sounds so disappointed, you know?
Middle aged guy sitting inside big truck: Yeah, totally.
Middle aged guy leaning against big truck, sounding disappointed: Recalculating... Recalculating...
British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Cybele
He Suggested I Test the Tracks by Sleeping on Them
Angry girl on cell: No, I seriously hate him. He wouldn't stop laughing at me the entire night, and I felt like an idiot. All I asked was whether real trains still run on train tracks. I mean, I just thought the tracks were antiques that got left behind or something... It's not a stupid question!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: kgirl42
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2010-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I'm Saving That for Marriage.
Girlfriend: Ugh, I can't think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can't bare to think what body parts I'm eating.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girlfriend: I know, but I like you! And I wouldn't eat your arm!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Body parts | Couples | Feelings | Food | New Jersey | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Promise Nothing
Guy: I'm so horny, I want a blowjob so bad...
Girl: You're not gonna cry again this time, are you?
The Poconos
Pennsylvania
...Wanting to Make Something Of Themselves
Ditzy girl #1: Like, I love her... but she's just so dumb.
Ditzy girl #2: I know! I mean, she wants to take the MCAT. I don't understand that kind of people.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Why We Drop Our Childhood Friends: Explained
Tween girl in pack of tween girls: Yes, he's my friend! He's nice! But I guess if I thought about it, I wouldn't like him.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Isotope Feeney
Categories: Compliments | Feelings | Tweens | Vermont | Posted 2010-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Let a Toothless Smile Be Your Umbrella
20-something Puerto Rican female passenger: God, I hate this weather!
Young black passenger: Man, I love this weather! The rain is good.
20-something Puerto Rican female passenger: I want sunshine!
Young black passenger: No, man, the rain is great... It's perfect meth weather.
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mia Coleman
Categories: Black people | Bus | Drugs | Feelings | Gripes | Latinas | Washington | Weather | Wishes | Posted 2010-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So We Had to Tend to It.
Guy: You abandoned me last night! Both of you, you and James*!
Girl: I'm sorry, I was feeling sick. And I told James* to go back to the bar afterwards, but then, you know, I have a vagina...
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Sex | Vagina | Posted 2010-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Won't Swallow Your Husband's Semen?
Middle-aged woman with dog: Oh, she peed on my foot. That's your pee. That's your love juice. Did you put your love juice on me? You gave me your love juice.
Woman's friend: It's on your shirt now.
Middle-aged woman: Oh, she pissed on my shirt? It's okay, it's just love juice. Come here, stinks. Come here, stinky. It's just pee. Come, gimme kisses, stink-stink.
Woman's friend: Here, maybe you should let me hold her.
Middle-aged woman, hissing: Get away from my stinky! She gave me her love juice, not you.
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Pips
Categories: Animals | Body parts | California | Feelings | Friends | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Pee | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What With Original Sin and So Forth
Son: I just feel so filthy after I go on the T. Can I please have some hand sanitizer, father?
Father: (silently hands it to son)
Son: Am I being paranoid?
Father: You're not being paranoid, Jonathan, you're being practical.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: Dads | Family | Fears | Feelings | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Parenting | Posted 2010-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus I Feel a Little Gay Riding a Log
Intimidating black man on log flume: This ain't no romantic cruise!
Busch Gardens, Florida
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Feelings | Florida | Thugs | Posted 2010-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Never Find Love With Food in Your Teeth
Hobo: Do you know what the world needs more of?
Coffee employee: Love?
Hobo: Nope, toothpicks... but love was a good guess.
Sacramento, California
Categories: California | Cleanliness | Employees | Feelings | Health & Hygiene | Hobos | Questions | Posted 2010-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eh, You'd Say Just About Anything for a Slice.
Bogan girlfriend: You don't loves me! You don't loves me!
Bogan boyfriend: What do you mean I don't loves you? I fucks you and buys you a pie!
Armidale
Australia
Meet Australia's Only Posh Lady
Posh lady in loud voice: And then they ran out of mineral water! I was devastated... Devastated.
Tilley's Cafe
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Trish
Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Feelings | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then My Crush Only Increased.
Ten-year old girl #1: He was pretty cute.
Ten-year old girl #2: I know! I had the biggest crush on him in third grade... until he died.
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Overheard by: Wait. What?
Categories: Death & dying | Feelings | Kids | New Mexico | Posted 2010-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Hoping for at Least Some Vomit
Depressed man to friends, while eating corn-on-the-cob: You know, this is just upsetting. I spent $180 today, and all I'll have to show for it is a really large shit.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: suddenly a little less hungry
Categories: Feelings | Food | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2010-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, I've Heard That Promise Before
Sobbing man with black eye, on cell: I love you so much, baby. I'm gonna squeeze you so hard you're gonna shit. (continues weeping)
Coloradp Springs, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Feelings | On the phone | Poop | Posted 2010-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't Tennessee Enough?
American girl: I get really emotional when I'm in church. I feel like I don't deserve to be there.
Brazilian girl: That's because you deserve to be in prison.
Nashville, Tennessee
I'm Glad You Recognize It As an Inevitability
Wife: Would you still love me if I peed my pants?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: Would you still love me if I shit my pants?
Husband: We'll cross that bridge when we get there.
Nashville, Tennessee
And, More Importantly, What Is Up with the Name "Dallin"?
Drama teacher to students: Okay, I want you all to close your eyes and imagine the most painful thing you can think of. Okay?
(a few moments pass)
Drama teacher: Okay, who wants to share? Dallin, how about you?
Dallin: Umm... Well, I imagined giving birth to a cactus baby.
Girl next to him: What is with you and cactus babies?
High School
Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Says All My Bad Decisions Cost Her Money
Drunk girl, burying head into boyfriend's arm: I'm upset with my mother. She expects me to take care of me.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Fallon
Categories: Drunks | Family ties | Feelings | Washington, DC | Posted 2010-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For One Thing, They Haven't Been Bred Into Stupidity
Boy to girl: Do you think a zebra feels like a horse?
Girl to boy, after brief pause: I don't think they really feel like they are horses, I think they know they are different.
Zoo
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
By Marriage, but Still
60-something man: I don't want to be with my first wife for an eternity! She is Satan's sister.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Fluffy
Categories: Arizona | Evil | Feelings | Old folks | Relationships | Posted 2010-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Teenage Boys Live in Fear That Gayness Will Stage a Surprise Attack
Boy holding slinky: I feel weird.
Boy holding other end: It's okay. We've got a slinky!
High School
Eugene, Oregon
At Least Dogs Have the Decency to Die at Fifteen
30-something at table with friends: I'm telling you! Children are like one of those STDs that you have to live with for the rest of your life. They're like herpes or HIV. They will never, ever, ever go away. They will ruin your life.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: So fucking teue
Right in the Seabiscuit
15-year-old girl to friend: And then she tells me, like three weeks later: "You know how I was angry at you? Well, I punched your horse."
School Cafeteria
New Zealand
Categories: Animals | Feelings | New Zealand | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teens | Violence | Posted 2010-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe You Shouldn't Blow Him Whenever He Asks for It
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Aww... I love you.
Boyfriend: Thanks, buddy!
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: I kinda like you too!
Girlfriend: I can't believe you. (to another girl) Can you believe that?
Kent, Ohio
Categories: Feelings | Hubbies | Ohio | Relationships | Posted 2010-02-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Do, Ashley?
Black clerk: You have no idea what it's like to be a black man and be coughed on.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lesly
Categories: Black people | Feelings | Overheard Lines | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now If Only She Could Find the U.S. on a Map
Old man, about Jessica Simpson "how I found love again" mag cover: She can't find someone to lighten her roots, but she found love. Thank god.
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: Melissa
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Feelings | New York | Old folks | Posted 2010-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Crap You Write Proves You Don't Listen to Me
Professor: My job is pretty sweet. All I have to do is show up and talk about something I'm interested in. How sweet is that? It would be even better if I didn't hate all of you.
Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Feelings | Gripes | Grumpies | Illinois | Jobs & Careers | Teachers | Posted 2010-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "Hugs, Not Drugs" Campaign Has Had Mixed Results
Huge gangsta boy: Maaaan, gimme a hug!
Preppy white friend: What?! No!
Huge gansta boy: What the fuck, man, just gimme a goddam hug!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Insults | Offers and requests | Preppies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Tennessee | Thugs | Whiteys | Posted 2010-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Sure He Was Using That Rope As a Clothesline
Psychologist #1: He said he was going to do his laundry, which is a really good sign.
Psychologist #2: Yeah, you can't want to commit suicide and want clean clothes.
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Cleanliness | Clothes | Coworkers | Death & dying | Feelings | Mental illnesses | New York | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Elizabeth Bennet on Her Honeymoon
20-something woman to friend: So, that was how my morning started: waking up with a man I am not overly fond of.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: my morning started a little better
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What I Love About You-- You're Not Afraid to Take Risks
Girl #1: I pulled out my knuckle hair with my teeth just now.
Girl #2: What? What the hell?
Girl #1: I was bored. And I wanted to see what it would feel like.
(silence)
Girl #1: It felt like a pinch.
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Hair | Missouri | Sensory experiences | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Political Marriage, Encapsulated.
Boyfriend: Remember when you used to love me?
Girlfriend: Yeah...
Boyfriend: That was nice.
Mall
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: good times
Categories: Couples | Feelings | Malls | Mississippi | Questions | Posted 2010-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess I Was Absent the Day They Taught That in School
Girl #1: It's like that old saying: abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
Girl #2: What?! Abstinence?
Girl #1: You've never heard that? It's like when you don't get any for a while, and then you do, and it's really good? You know, makes you love 'em more.
Biloxi, Mississippi
Overheard by: it's one in the same
Mmm, Sacrilicious!
20-something girl: Those deviled eggs totally messed me up... Emotionally.
Manhattan, New York
And You Thought SpongeBob Was Gay
Teenage girl to friend: Anyway, I think he likes me... He gave me a sponge bath last night.
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Ineke
The Difference Between Long-term and Short-term Thinking, Encapsulated
Girlfriend: How would you feel if I told you I was pregnant?
Boyfriend: Are you pregnant? Because if you are, I'm cumin' in you.
Indianapolis, Indiana
...From Your Leash.
Mother, chasing fleeing toddler across library: Stop! Come back! You have separation anxiety!
Christchuch
New Zealand
Overheard by: I suspect it's the other way around...
Not The Lake House Good, But What Is?
15-year-old thug, to thug friends: Hmm... P.S. I Love You. That was actually a pretty good movie.
Promenade de Cathedral
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Reb
This Time I Promise Not to Cheat in Front Of You
Crazy woman on cell: Yeah, you know, I just... I really think we're meant to be together. I can't stop thinking about you. I mean I feel bad I lost you... (brief pause) but I mean I saw this psychic and she said we're totally meant to be, so yeah... (pause again) Well, I mean if you don't care that I slept with so many guys while we were together, maybe we could try again?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: aiden
Categories: Crazies | Feelings | Infidelity | Magic | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Disposed Of Her Along with the Tree
Woman to companion, while waiting for bus: So, it was really lucky that grandma died on Christmas, because we just drove down and went from there. Otherwise, we would have had to drive down twice.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: ...you're kind of a bitch
Categories: Death & dying | Family ties | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Times Hard in the Islamic Republic Of North Carolina
Little girl to mother, passing brand new cherry red Porsche Carrera GT convertible: Mama, why is everyone looking at that car?
Mother: Because it's very special.
Little girl: Can I get one?
Mother: Only if you marry well, dear.
Durham, North Carolina
In the Same Way We Fail to Feel Bad for Cher
Coworker, on animal testing: I just can't feel bad for lab rats, cause they're man-made.
Friend: Seriously, dude.
Winter Park, Florida
Overheard by: Cassie
Everyone in Retail Can Identify
Little boy, in sing-song: I believe I can fly! I believe I can... die!
Sales clerk: That's the sad version.
JC Penney
Columbia, Missouri
Or I'll Be Red with Embarassment.
Professor: The emotional impact of one story is greater than the story of many people.
Student: Isn't that what Stalin said?
Professor: Um. Sort of the same sentiment. But I really hope that is my last parallel to Stalin.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Compare and contrast | Education | Feelings | Questions | Students | Teachers | Washington | Posted 2009-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Lost 10 Pounds Since I Started Sending Myself to Bed Without Supper!
Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!
National Mall
Washington, DC
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Malls | On the phone | Parenting | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, If You're at All Interested, Napoleon's in the Supply Closet.
Employee #1: It's been such a slow day. I feel like I've been here forever.
Employee #2: I know, right?
Employee #1: How about you? Today been slow for you too?
Employee #3: Nope. I discovered time travel.
Hardware Store
Agoura Hills, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Employees | Feelings | Jobs & Careers | Stores | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2009-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh Yes, Mummy-- Ever So!
Mom to two little kids sitting directly behind her on the train: Do you feel a little bit better now that you've got slight independence?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Overheard by: They were the best behaved children there that day.
Depression's Always in Style in Virginia
Studious student: You know she would tell her students that she's far too sick to make it out to campus, and then curl up in a ball on her couch with a cup of tea so she can watch the rain fall and weep.
Virginia Commonwealth University
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Feelings | Food | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Students | Virginia | Weather | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Googled "Lesbian Triplets" and Got Distracted by Porn
College girl #1: So it turned out that he was one of the lesbian triplets!
College girl #2: No way!
College girl #1: Yeah, the tranny!
College girl #2: Owen? I love Owen! I knew him when he still identified as a girl!
College girl #1: Yeah, and it turned out the midget was trans too.
Hampshire College
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Gender issues | Massachusetts | Sexuality | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Wars Start: Encapsulated.
20-something woman #1: I have mixed feelings about this bar and grill.
20-something man: I hate this bar and grill.
20-something woman #2: I'm gonna burn down this bar and grill!
Las Vegas, Nevada
Think Of Purgatory As a Drive-Through Soul Wash
Professor: So, basically god has to suppress the gag reflex when he looks at you; but it's okay because he loves you anyway.
University of Akron
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Rebecca
Um, of State Security?
Art student: He told me he really relates to my organs.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Relationships | Students | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Give Her Something for Safekeeping
Bro to friend: Well, that's in your sister's vagina, so I don't know how you feel about that.
High School
Illinois
Overheard by: Chloe
Categories: Family ties | Feelings | Friends | Illinois | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Vagina | Posted 2009-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Professors Rarely Ask Students to Introduce Themselves on the First Day Of Class Anymore
Nerd: I don't know about you, but I have trouble being romantic when I'm sweating to death.
Community College
Illinois
Overheard by: adderall driven
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Feelings | Illinois | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Plastic Knives Tend to Hurt
Girl, crying or laughing: I just can't believe you love me; I have shown up on your doorstep so fucking wasted.
Guy: Baby, you found a plastic fork in your panties! It's okay! Anyway, it was not one of your better nights.
Girl: Actually, it was one of my better nights.
Mission District
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Judylicious
Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Guys | San Francisco | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
David Byrne, Is That You?
Disgruntled hobo outside dollar store: All anyone ever thinks about is "Do I still love him?" and "What happened to your teeth?" That don't make no sense!
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Body parts | California | Feelings | Hobos | Posted 2009-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As the Title Of My Autobiography Clearly States
14-year-old boy to punk friends: Jesus loves me, and I don't give a damn.
Portland, Oregon
It's the Germany Of the United States.
Guy in "I heart NJ" shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in "I heart NJ" shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in "I heart NJ" shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!
London
England
Overheard by: Joyful One
Categories: England | Feelings | Foreigners | Offers and requests | Questions | Tourists | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Momma Grows Red Fur, Then We'll Talk.
Dad: Does Gracie love momma?
Toddler: Pshnoooooo.
Dad: Does Gracie love Elmo?
Toddler: Yeah!
Target
Nashville, Tennessee
And I Lied and Said, "No."
Fireman: And then he asked me if I'd ever covered my hand with a plastic bread bag, and then squished my shit around in the toilet... just to see what it feels like.
Maine
Bottom Line: It Tastes Like Shit.
Guy: You!
Smoking, unsuspecting girl: Me? What'd I do?
Guy: Do you know how lonely it's been since you and Dave* quit smoking? Then everyone started to quit! And now you're smoking again?! At first it was all cute: "Awwww, Emily and Dave* are quitting together! They're like each other's rocks!" Then what happened?!
Smoking girl, sheepishly: We sunk.
Guy: And was it your idea for Dave to start rolling his own cigarettes?!
Smoking girl: Yes...
Guy, exasperated: Every time I ask him for a cigarette, it's like smoking a diaper!
New Jersey
Categories: Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Questions | Relationships | Smokers | Smoking | Posted 2009-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Why We Should Buy You Gelato?
Five-year-old boy: I'm a sensitive soul!
Little Italy
Toronto
Canadia
Are You...Part Cat?
Teenage girl to friend: I feel like if you eat my hair, we'll be more connected.
Fair Haven, New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Hair | New Jersey | Relationships | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Smell a Sitcom Premise!
Drunk tailgater dude: Remember when you paid for that girl I fell in love with?
The Rose Bowl
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: Chad
Categories: California | Drunks | Feelings | Money | Sex | Posted 2009-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe Stop Voting Republican?
Guy: My mom hit my dad with a frying pan. He doesn't have a cheek anymore. It's been entirely restructured. She used to beat the shit out of him! It was so funny. But when he drunk--that's when she'd get a beating.
Girl, sympathetically: Your family...
Guy: Oh, I love my family! I don't know what I'd do without them!
Neptune City, New Jersey
Categories: Body parts | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Relationships | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Next to Making Undergrads Uncomfortable.
Professor: I advise you all to make love, at least once, outside in the rain. It's the best feeling in the world.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Mackenzie
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Feelings | New York | Sex | Teachers | Weather | Posted 2009-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Giant Cock.
Little girl: I'm in love with a boy at my preschool.
Mom: Yeah? What's he like?
Little girl, shrugging: Blue eyes, blond hair, good skin.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Some Of Emily Dickinson's Later Work Fell a Bit Short
Literature substitute teacher: Did I hear that correctly? Did you say "Please don't rape me with your feelings"?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yep, your hearing is perfect.
Categories: Education | Feelings | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teachers | Violence | Posted 2009-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The First Season Of The Simple Life Was Rich with Conflict
Abnormally skinny girl: I feel fat.
Normal girl: Shut up before I smother you with my muffin top.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: seward
Categories: Anorexics | Diet & weight | Feelings | Food | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Posted 2009-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
U.S. Citizens Will Either Not Understand This or Be Hurt by It
Gay guy to another: Yeah, cuz there's nothing like listening to Americans talk about their feelings to let you know what's really going on in the world.
Starbucks
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Canadia | Feelings | Queers | Stupidity | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Invented by Mister Newton.
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a "fig" was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Feelings | Food | Rhode Island | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Much Like My Soul!
Girl on cell: Yeah, so I'm going to tell my mom that he asked me to marry him, and then he died. (pause) Yeah, she'll probably ask if I need anything, and that's when I'll tell her about the car. (pause) Yeah, I'll be heartbroken, blah, blah, blah... at least I'll get a new car out of the deal! (pause) He's a made-up boyfriend! She's not going to find out he didn't really die, because he never really existed!
San Marcos, California
Categories: California | Death & dying | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Lies | On the phone | Parenting | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When I Finally Mastered Writing My Name in Urine
13-year-old boy, jumping all over the place: It was a feeling of pure urethra!
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: he didn't really think that one through
Categories: Australia | Body parts | Feelings | Tweens | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet You Divorced Your Third Husband for Peeing in Your Shoes?
Woman on cell: I've been through many husbands, but the dog has been with me for 14 years! Men can be replaced but the dog stays!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: sara
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Feelings | On the phone | Relationships | Time Management | Washington | Women | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Reader Poll: Is This Racist?
Girl: Promise me you won't fall in love with a Mexican while you're gone and leave me forever.
Boy: You're so racist sometimes.
Girl: I can't help it!
International Airport
Portland, Oregon
And She Says Yes
Quirky college student: You know it's love when you ask "please, can I suck your dick?"
Friend: Word.
Willamette University
Salem, Oregon
Categories: BJs | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Offers and requests | Oregon | Penis | Students | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: He's Been Too Happy Lately
Son: Mommy, why are you going through daddy's phone?
Mother: Because I love him!
Panera
Howell, New Jersey
Categories: Cell phones | Family ties | Feelings | Infidelity | Kids | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2009-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Really Need Better Facebook Pictures
Girl: Can you poke the Mars Bars?
Guy: They don't feel white.
Girl: Do they feel brown?
Guy: Yep, they feel brown.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Is This Any More Stupid Than the Political Interpretation? Discuss.
Teenage girl #1, explaining Shakespeare to friend: So, basically, Romeo is, like, a man whore. As soon as he knows some chick won't have sex with him he gets all pissy and emo and goes after someone else.
Teenage girl #2: So, like, he just wants to make babies? Man, I always thought it was more romantic!
Teenage girl #1: Nope. He just wants to hop into bed with whoever's available.
Birmingham, Alabama
Things Couldn't Be Any Worse If We Were Victims Of Nuclear Holocaust!
Jappy milf #1: I just feel like all I do is sell houses. And I hate it. I just hate my life!
Jappy milf #2: Ugh, I know. We really need to get out of Armonk!
Jappy milf #1: I know. I hate my house! I hate everything in it! My life is horrible here!
Armonk, New York
...I Mean, That Would've Been My Default Assumption...
Woman: I felt so bad. I was like, "it's okay, you can leave your pool cue there, come dance with me."
Friend: And then you left him in the middle of the dance floor.
Woman: I didn't know he was blind!
Friend: So you blew him?
Woman: Did I?
Hot Springs, Idaho
Australian Law Forbids Weekend Mourning
Teen girl #1: I think we need to get her a rebound guy.
Teen girl #2: Don't you think it's a bit soon? Paul died like two weeks ago.
Teen girl #1: Hmm. I guess. (pause) Maybe just for weekends then?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, okay.
Bus Stop
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: cara
Categories: Australia | Bus | Death & dying | Feelings | Girls | Questions | Relationships | Stupidity | Teens | Time Management | Posted 2009-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook