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Let Me Give You the List Of Questions Now
Student, after class spent 25 minutes arguing answers to midterm: I have a question. Not about this test, but about future tests.
Professor, wearily: I think the final will just be take-home.
Class: Really?
Professor: Whatever.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Education | Fears | Pennsylvania | Questions | Students | Posted 2011-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is Anyone Else Kinda Aroused?
Bogan guy: Oh, I forgot to get you something for dinner tonight.
Bogan girl: I wish I could walk to the shops. It's alright for you, you wanna walk somewhere, you just go.
Bogan guy: You can't go to the shops, it's not safe.
Bogan girl: I really like walking. You know, I just go out on my own, and I'm outside...
Bogan guy: But it's not safe on your own, and it's so far away.
Bogan girl: Yeah, but I really like walking, walking is really cool. I really like it.
(pause).
Bogan girl: So, what, are you gonna have me eat two-minute noodles for dinner?
Bogan guy: For fuck's sake, I don't care what you eat! Walk to the fucking shops if you fucking want to! Just stop your fucking whinging!
Bus
Perth
Australia
Plus I Can't Color-coordinate a Window-Valence Worth a Darn!
60-year-old drunk in bar: The only reason I've never tried being gay is because I'm afraid I might like it.
Sandy Springs, Georgia
Overheard by: Me too...
16 and NOT Pregnant Is Rather a Snoozefest
High school girl: I've gone to second base with a guy, but have done pretty much everything with a girl. Because penises are scary.
Forest of Fear
Tuxedo, New York
Overheard by: Kaitlen
You'll Understand When You Have to Watch Your Mother Being Raped by a Rotini Noodle.
Girl #1: So pasta, like, traumatized you?
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate pasta! Pasta ruined my life!
Frary Dining Hall, Pomona College
Claremont, California
Weirdest PTA Meeting Ever.
Girl on cell in crowded elevator: Walking through the naked women was supposed to represent, like, going through the birth canal!
Royal Ontario Museum
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: painted_veil
Categories: Canadia | Cell phones | Fears | On the phone | Uterus | Posted 2010-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Can't Shame Me Into the Army
College guy: I'm scared!
College girl: Just do it!
College guy: No, I'm scared!
College girl: Be a man!
College guy: I don't wanna!
Salisbury, Maryland
Why Casper the Friendly Ghost Has Difficulty Keeping a Girlfriend
Really stoned girl: Oh god, my first relationship was horrible. It was just six weeks of me being scared of his genitals.
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Boffins
Categories: Australia | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Fears | Relationships | Stoners | Weirdness | Posted 2010-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially, Headless Ones Dressed in Couture
Trendy girl, extremely serious: But like I am totally scared of mannequins! (pause) Mannequins, and big giraffes. I'm really just scared of all jungle animals in general.
Manhattan, Kansas
What With Original Sin and So Forth
Son: I just feel so filthy after I go on the T. Can I please have some hand sanitizer, father?
Father: (silently hands it to son)
Son: Am I being paranoid?
Father: You're not being paranoid, Jonathan, you're being practical.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: Dads | Family | Fears | Feelings | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Parenting | Posted 2010-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That's not gay. (pause) It's not gay when "turning out the lights" means putting your hands over my eyes while we're test-driving a car that's worth more than your sister's gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Fears | Guys | Money | On the phone | Vagina | Virginia | Posted 2010-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated
Woman #1: I love TGI Friday's, but if I could pick any local place to go for dinner tonight, I would pick Olive Garden.
Woman #2: Oooh, good pick! What about Macaroni Grill?
Woman #1: I love Macaroni Grill! But isn't it a little fancy for tonight?
Woman #2: No, we can go change.
Woman #1: Are you sure you're okay with driving in this city?
Woman #2: Sure, it is okay.
Woman #1: Maybe we should pray before we leave... you know, just in case.
Woman #2: Great idea.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Fears | Religion | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Man Needs a Cool Head to Eat at Denny's
Cowboy #1, in cowboy dialect: One thing I can tell you, if one of them bites you on the lip, don't panic. Just wait till it starts to let go and then push it off of you.
Cowboy #2: You know, that's right.
Denny's
Willcox, Arizona
Overheard by: Alan B. Barley
Categories: Advice | Arizona | Body parts | Fears | Rednecks | Restaurants | Violence | Posted 2010-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everything He Knows About Americans He Learned from Watching Roseanne Reruns
Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can't get on because the American will eat me!
Philippines
So Many Girls Are Fascists, but Don't Know It
Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Fears | Girls | Massachusetts | Movies | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Anything With Diane Keaton
Woman #1, coming out of movie theater: I want to see Zombieland when it comes out.
Woman #2: That's way too scary for you.
Woman #1: No, it's not!
Woman #2: You couldn't handle Coraline.
Woman #1: Because that movie is terrifying! (shudders)
Denver, Colorado
Salem's Kind Of a Dead Town
Gay hairdresser: Ew, I don't think I could handle seeing dead people all gross and stuff!
Teenage girl getting haircut: You know, it's really not that bad... I kinda like it!
Straight hairdresser: Working downtown scares me sometimes...
Salem, Oregon
Categories: Clients | Compare and contrast | Coworkers | Death & dying | Fears | Oregon | Queers | Teens | Posted 2009-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Terrible Twos.
Woman on cell, in deadpan voice: Now's not a good time to talk to him about it. (pause) He's got a chainsaw. I really wouldn't talk to him about it right now.
Bus
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Bus | Fears | Massachusetts | On the phone | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Website?
Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it's a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j-j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That's only for guys. And in the Amazon!
Redding, California
Categories: Animals | California | Fears | Friends | Girls | Insects | Pee | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ten Bucks Says He's a Collective Hallucination
Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!
Burning Man
Nevada
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Categories: Chicks | Clothes | Creepsters | Diet & weight | Fat people | Fears | Guys | Nevada | Shoes | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whoaaaaa.
Professor: I'm afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Fears | Philosophy | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Edgar Allan Poe, You Get Out Of That Crypt This Minute!
Frowning little boy among kids running and playing: I wonder if this building is haunted. (pause) You should really keep an eye out for these things.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Fears | Kids | Kids | Magic | Washington | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And by That I Mean Exactly What You Think I Mean.
20-something hot girl to friend: I'm afraid of steamed broccoli and robes.
Montreal
Canadia
Judging by the Pampered, Fat-Faced Look Of You
College tour guide, passing crying student: College is hard. You will cry.
Willamette University
Salem, Oregon
After I Rolled Your Lungs and Smoked the Tar Out of Them
Nurse #1 (during break): I hope you don't mind, I took one of your cigarettes from your purse because I was really craving one.
Nurse #2: it's no problem. (pause) Wait. Was it my last one?
Nurse #1: Yeah...is that a problem?
Nurse #2 (furious): Are you fucking kidding me?!
Nurse #1: Yeah, yeah, relax! I was just kidding. There's two more in there.
Nurse #2: Oh my god. Don't joke about things like that.
Nurse #1 (nervously): Hahaha. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't scared for my life just now.
Nurse #2 (seriously): And I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't thinking of places to hide your body.
Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York
Overheard by: molly guns
Welcome to College
Freshman guy: It's been in my mouth for almost a minute now, and I'm still not sure what it is.
Freshman girl: Scary thought, isn't it?
Dining Hall, Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fears | Girls | Guys | Pennsylvania | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Heidegger Hobo Also Plays Fundraisers and Private Parties
Homeless guy to girl passing by: The economic downturn has thrown me into an existential panic! (girl looks at him quizzically) Yeah, us street folk feel that shit too.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Alessa Colaianni
I Promise Not to Look at Joan Rivers from Now On
20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn't thought about that.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful
Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He's non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Why "Family Vacation" Will Always Be an Oxymoron
Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)
National Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Since They Haven't Yet Arrested You for Wearing That Silly Human Suit
High girl #1: I mean, they can't arrest me for walking around in a gorilla suit, can they?
High girl #2: No, dude, I don't think so.
Georgia College & State University
An Unexpected Artifact Of Our Romantic Interlude
Girl #1: My uterus! Oh god, my uterus!
Girl #2: My god, the raptor is going into my uterus.
Dining Commons, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Beth
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fears | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How About a Koosh Hug?
Teen (brandishing Nerf gun): I'm gonna get you! Here I come! I'm gonna shoot you right in the mouth!
Small boy: Noooo! No more Nerf kisses!
Simi Valley, California
Overheard by: the mster
...Any Questions?
English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.
Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne
On the Other Hand, If I Don't Make Out with Him, the Terrorists Win
Roommate: I am afraid that if I make out with him, he'll think that I'm an Iraqi.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Possibly...
Categories: Default | Fears | Girls | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Tennessee | Posted 2008-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good God-- He's Got a Sock Puppet!
(a group of people are standing on the steps of the station, singing about Christianity)
Man, sprinting across the road: Run for your lives! He's preaching Jesus!
Flinders Street Station
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Skeeta
If He Asked You Out, He Probably Likes Crazy Drag Queens
Girl looking at herself in the mirror to stranger: Do I look crazy? Do I look like a drag queen? I'm on a first date and I'm really nervous.
Bar Bathroom
Chicago, Illinois
From The Mouths of Babes...
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
What With Finding the Area Under My Curve
Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early...he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!
Miami University, Florida
Overheard by: bad mental picture
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Education | Fears | Florida | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...To Paraphrase Nietzsche
White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. "Your mom died of overdose" is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But...I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.
Computer Science Department
Ohio State University
Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Default | Drugs | Family ties | Fears | Offers and requests | Ohio | On the phone | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Hear There's a Starbucks There Now
Waiter: I think it would be cool to live on the moon...
Waitress: Yeah, I don't think I could do that. I'm afraid of heights.
Texas City, Texas
Overheard by: TurboCat
When Spies Go on Dates
Man coming out of Tibetan restaurant: But I saw the rabbit!
Woman: No, the rabbit is dead. I promise you, the rabbit is dead.
Boulevard de Magenta
Paris, France
Overheard by: Texpat
How to Come Out to Your Parents in One Easy Step
Dad: Oh, the menu says they have fish tacos. Have you ever had a fish taco? I've never had a fish taco.
Mom: No, I haven't. I don't think I'm going to get a fish taco.
Young daughter (under her breath): Fish tacos make me think bad things.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: they make me think bad things too
I'm Scared to Take a Leak
Four-year-old kid: Everything I touch dies.
Rest Stop
Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Death & dying | Default | Fears | Kids | Kids | Murder | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But My Girlfriend Definitely Is
Guy on cell: Yeah, I haven't decided yet if camels are enough like horses for them to scare the crap out of me to ride.
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Overheard by: I never knew he was afraid of horses!
No, Dad, Joe Camel Is Not on the Ticket
Woman on phone: No dad, the Democratic congress is probably not affecting the cancer rate. No, a Democratic president will probably not make cancer rates worse.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: me!
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Fears | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Politics | Women | Posted 2008-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Passes for Legal Argument in Australia
Goth lolita girl: I'm sensing some copyright violations in your aura.
Emo guy: Nuh-uh!
Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia
Oh, That's It-- I'm Blocking BET!
Four-year old black boy, as security car passes: Run, mommy, run! The cops are coming!
Outside of Wal-Mart
Cortlandt, New York
"Throw Your Brother Into the Campfire," It Says
Little girl to mom: My stomach controls me!
Campsite, California
Categories: Body parts | Default | Fears | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think We Could Get That Classified As a Learning Disorder?
Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: sean
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Colorado | Default | Fears | Gender issues | Gripes | Guys | Questions | Posted 2008-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When I Come Back with Half a Face, It's on Your Conscience
(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!
Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey
Categories: Default | Fears | Girls | Kids | Kids | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Politics | Siblings | Posted 2008-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Glittery Leopard Print? We'd Say So
Girl in fitting room: These leggings are totally going to ruin my karma.
Forever 21
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lisa
But Hand Me Your Checkbook and I'll Eliminate Your Debt
Stoner chick: I really wish I could bite something and for once, not have to worry about it disappearing.
Bakersfield, California
Overheard by: don't we all?
Ashley Olsen Dating Lance Armstrong Was the Final Nail in the Coffin
Preppy girl #1: So the Apocalypse is totally going to happen... It's scary.
Preppy girl #2: Yeah, I know, right?
High School Hall
Ontario
Canadia
Or Write Angry Slam Poetry. Whichever Is Less Humane.
Wild-haired diner outside restaurant (seriously): If I don't get tenure next year, I don't know what I'll do. I'll have to ... I don't know ... I'll have to just blog about it.
Bloomsbury, London
England
How Heidi Met Seal
Female suit: Do you know how scary it is to have a black man fall on you in the middle of the night?!
Mesa, Arizona
Seymour Glass Was Such a Sensitive Child
Little boy (pointing to a plastic butterfly): Mommy, what's that?
Mom: That's a butterfly. Do you like butterflies?
Little boy (timidly): No...
Mom: Why not?
Little boy: They hurt me.
The Mall
Victoria
Canadia
They Tend to Get Saucy
Supervisor to trainee: Don't be afraid of the tomatoes.
Safeway
Rockville, Maryland
Without Warning, It Leaped Out of Its Hiding Place
Girl to cross-dressing friends: ...and then my butt scared him.
Gay Club
Denver, Colorado
I'm Sorry I Ever Chose to Study The Necronomicon
Guy going to study for finals: I'm kinda scared to sit in a cubicle alone... by myself... Alone with my thoughts. Not good.
PCL Library
University of Texas at Austin
Which Just Means It's Ripe
Girl on cell: She said that she used her vibrator so much last week, she thought her vagina was going to swell up and fall off.
Walmart
Atlanta, Georgia
How Many National Secrets Are Spilled
Little girl to mom: This ice cream is screwing with my mind.
McDonald's
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: heather
Categories: Default | Fears | Food | Girls | Headaches | Kids | Kids | Mental illnesses | Ohio | Restaurants | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren't you afraid your baby's going to fall out or something?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: what not to expect when you're expecting
If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!
Girl #1: I'm all freaked out now! I bet you she's pregnant! My sister's pregnant!
Girl #2: I'm sure she's not pregnant, you're assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
And Kept Me Awake by Leading "Expeditions" Into My Sock Drawer
Girl #1: I found that doll the other day.
Girl #2: What doll?
Girl #1: The Steve Irwin doll, you know, the one that used to look at me creepy while I was sleeping.
Girl #2: Ohhhh, that doll!
Bleeker's Bowling Alley
Chicago, Illinois
Now I'm Working on a Novel About Them
Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
It's the Greatest Thing Since... You Know
Girlfriend: I think my butt has gotten bigger.
Boyfriend: If that's true, hallelujah. I love big booties.
Girlfriend: David*, this is serious! I think I have been doing so many squats that my butt has lifted and risen... like bread.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: MoMo
Oh Yeah, You'd Like Me to Pour You on My Meat
Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh
And I'm Running Dangerously Low on Reese's Pieces
Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it's still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don't see any; I don't have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life
Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn't look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.
16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado
And This Time Don't Roll on Me Just Because They Offer You Cookies and Juice
Little boy: You used to have a pocket knife, mommy!
Mother, laughing nervously: No, I didn't!
Little boy: Yes you did! You used to!
Nervous mother: No, I never did! I never had a pocket knife! Please don't tell the police that!
YMCA
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Muffin
And He Usually Takes Duct Tape As Well
Girl: Hey, does anyone know if Stu* is still alive?
Guy: What? Why?
Girl, laughing: Because he went out into the woods last night with nothing but a lighter and a can of tomato soup.
Egremont, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lily
Categories: Death & dying | Fears | Food | Friends | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wasn't I Right About 2000-- and 2001?
Goth chick: Don't talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.
University Plaza
Colorado State
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Fears | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Goths | Offers and requests | Threats | Posted 2008-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Question Every Rock Of Love Contestant Must Eventually Face
College-aged girl on cell: How am I supposed to date him if I'm afraid he's going to kill me and keep my vagina in a jar?
Grocery Store, Kentucky
And Letting My Baby Steer
College girl to friend: He's a really scary driver. He'll go fifty on gravel roads. I mean, I go fifty on gravel roads, but only if I'm really, really drunk.
El Rancho
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: RW
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Fears | Girls | Missouri | Sorority types | Posted 2008-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Kathy Griffin
Boy: So, if you're afraid of the leprechaun from that one movie, does that mean you're afraid of the lucky charm leprechaun too?
Girl: No, no, no. I'm only afraid of the *real* ones.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: Amused
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Fears | Girls | Guys | Movies | North Carolina | Questions | Posted 2008-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Have Plenty of Time for That When You're in Your 20's and Getting Out of Limos
Mother to daughter hopping up and down on escalator: Now Beth*, if you keep doing that your pants are going to get caught in the conveyor belt and they'll be ripped off and all of South Station is going to see your little mermaid underwear. [Girl immediately stops.]
South Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Meg
Categories: Clothes | Default | Fears | Girls | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Public transportation | Threats | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was It a Big Bang?
Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!
Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi
Categories: About celebrities | Creepsters | Default | Fears | Feelings | Guys | Mississippi | Restaurants | Science | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Childbirth Is All a Hoax
20-something hipster girl to another: So, anyway, no one is pregnant.
Sorella's Diner
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Categories: Default | Fears | Friends | Girls | Hipsters | Massachusetts | Pregnancy | Restaurants | Words | Posted 2008-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Turns Out Hell Is Nicer Than Michigan
Bimbette on cell: I thought I'd died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Default | Fears | Michigan | On the phone | Religion | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What You Said During Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Random kid: Oh god! This is going to turn into a pregnancy fetish porno.
While seeing Juno
Peabody, Massachusetts
We're More Of a Honky Hut Family
Black student to white teacher: So we're going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there's Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don't think so...
Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida
Categories: Advice | Black people | Fears | Florida | Food | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | US Geography | Posted 2008-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, for Some Reason, Makes Me All Tingly Inside
Woman #1: That's a wonderful coat.
Woman #2: I hope it stays cold long enough for me to enjoy it.
Woman #1: You know, you're really brave. I have a fur at home but I can't stop thinking about those crazy PETA people chasing me down with a van and hurting me.
Sidewalk in front of Grocery Store
Maryland
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he's black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
Well Obviously
Film professor: Apparently in the 1970s the devil came to earth with the intention of occupying small women.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: David
Said She's Too Old to Start Wearing Pleather Again
Old lady to another: Mary started crying because she thought they were taking her back to New Jersey.
Pizza Shop
Lima, Pennsylvania
Categories: Fears | Feelings | Friends | Gripes | Old folks | Pennsylvania | Restaurants | US Geography | Women | Posted 2008-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily So Many Other Things Taste Like Them
College girl: Just think about all the chickens that get killed every day, like just by McDonald's.
Friend: Yeah, but you know... I don't really care.
College girl: Oh no, I don't care about them either, I'm just scared they're gonna run out of chickens.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Curlee
Categories: Animals | Fears | Feelings | Food | Friends | Massachusetts | Sorority types | Posted 2008-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Stoners Write for Fortune Cookie Companies
Serious girl: You have to clean your bathroom or else there'll be hungry ghosts lurking behind your toilet.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Fears | Girls | Massachusetts | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Particularly the One with the Retractable Razor Blades
Guy on cell: And all I could say was: "Thank God... I have my surfboard with me!"
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Fears | Feelings | Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Succubi Are Surprisingly Good Mothers, Considering
Small boy: [Runs up to his mother and hugs her around the waist.] Don't take my soul!
Macy's
Salem, New Hampshire
Categories: Fears | Guys | Kids | Kids | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Stores | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Why You Keep Flinging Rocks at My Forehead?
Little boy: I don't have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do sweetie...
Little boy: No! I don't have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do...
Little boy: No, you're a giant!
Grocery Store
Colorado
Overheard by: Not a Giant or a Grandma
Categories: Colorado | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Family | Family ties | Fears | Guys | Kids | Kids | Old folks | Sensory experiences | Stores | Women | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'd Lose the Best Piano Teacher I've Ever Had
Guy #1: I woke up in her bed without any pants.
Guy #2: What happened?
Guy #1: I think we had sex.
Guy #2: You don't know?
Guy #1: I cant exactly remember. Luckily neither can she. She'd kill me if she knew.
Train
Sydney, Australia
Psh, I'd Be Asking for High Fives
Guy #1: John* really needs to get laid. He hasn't hooked up for months.
Guy #2: Dude, didn't you hear what happened to him?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: The last girl he brought home shat in his bed. He's been kind of gun-shy since then.
Charlottesville, Virginia
The Foil Helmet Just Seals in the Knowledge
Student: I have this irrational fear of being clunked over the head and shipped to a country whose alphabet I don't know, so I'm trying to learn all these alphabets... I must be paranoid, I don't know.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: l_tau
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Education | Fears | Geography | Maryland | Mental illnesses | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Told Me to Say That, but Never Trained Me
Grocery store clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Customer: Yep.
Clerk: Oh good. The last woman said she didn't, and I had no idea what to say. So I just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She got so mad.
Customer: Then why do you ask?
Clerk: To be polite.
HyVee
Fort Dodge, Iowa
Do We Have to Drag Bernie Everywhere We Go?
Little boy: But I don't care about the dead guys anymore!
Washington Monument
Washington, DC
Categories: Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Fears | Feelings | Guys | Kids | Kids | Tourist attractions | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Anybody Seen Baryshnikov Lately?
Confused girl: Someone with an unknown number just called me twice. I, of course, ignored the calls. Then they left a voicemail of music from The Nutcracker...I have the feeling I'm about to be murdered.
Lexington, Kentucky
Slylock Fox's Puzzle: How Many Things Are Wrong with This Conversation?
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I'm facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can't even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
I Thought the Figure on the Door Was Sporting a Jaunty Kilt
Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we're in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.
Women's restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them
Categories: Compare and contrast | Fears | Friends | Gender issues | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Illinois | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They've Got Frequent-Flyer Miles Up the Ass
Loud teenage girl: Oh my god, condoms are flying everywhere!
Ridgewood, New Jersey
Overheard by: i don't see any condoms
I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
Why Nobody's All That Sold on the Idea Of Heaven
College guy: And then, there would be no more vagina!
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Laiah and Caitlin
I'm Turning Inside Out for Halloween
Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Categories: Body parts | Default | Fears | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Missouri | Science | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Stole Me from a Playground!
Little boy, standing next to a car: Daddy, this isn't our car! Daddy, what are you doing? This isn't our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you've got to stop saying that when we're in parking lots. [to a couple walking by] I just got a new car.
Little boy: No you didn't!
AMC Theatres
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: they steal cars, dont they?
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Family ties | Fears | Kids | Kids | Lies | Maryland | Posted 2008-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Let Me Tie You to the Roof-Rack
Girl stopped at a gas station refueling: Get out of my trunk now! People are going to think that I kidnapped you!
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: A Concerned Friend
Categories: Conductors | Crimes | Default | Fears | Girls | Offers and requests | Virginia | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might Want to Start Off with "I'm Straight."
Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can't tell her! I've kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she'll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don't like musicals?!
Bruin Walk, UCLA
California
Overheard by: if that's the worst thing in your relationship...
Categories: Advice | California | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fears | Girls | Guys | Movies | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Live in a Parental-Notification State
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you're three weeks late, you totally don't have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you've definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: ... Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I'm completely sure. You're totally fine. Golden. Except that you're 17 and might be pregnant.
Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas
Tim Burton Was Always a Creepy Dad
Father holding infant son in glass elevator: Are you scared, sweetie? It must be nice not to have a sense of your own mortality.
Burlington Mall
Burlington, Massachusetts
Categories: Dads | Fears | Massachusetts | Posted 2008-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Diversity Provides a Wide Variety of Scary
Chick: It wasn't, like, black people-scary. It was, like, Appalachian-scary. I didn't feel like I was going to be shot, I felt like I was going to be eaten.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Fears | Michigan | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Owe Dale $800, and He's Out for Blood
A girl screams and begins running away.
Friend: It's a chipmunk, you dumbass!
Girl, resuming original path: Oh.
Hubbard Lane
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Jigga Mouse
Look at It, Sitting There in That Box, Plotting, Plotting...
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Categories: Crazies | Fears | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
