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And I Felt Really Bad When the Shoe and I Ran Off to Cancun Without Her

Guy: Didn't you have a friend who lost her virginity to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and ruptured it or something. Like riding a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us because I was the only one busting up laughing.

California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Gossip | Guys | Questions | Shoes | Virginity | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Couldn't You Just Ask for the Air-speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

Bouncer: I don't know... Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don't your shoes match your skirt?

London, Ontario
Canadia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Canadia | Chicks | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Fashion | Guys | Insults | Jocks | Offers and requests | Questions | Shoes | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

So You Can't Date Jews or Muslims

Girl #1: Hey, what's your shoe size?
Girl #2: Six.
Girl #1: I've got a pair of shoes that would fit you, if you want them. They smell vaguely of bacon.

Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Food | Friends | Gifts | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Shoes | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

... Along with One of His Feet

Mother at market stall: But he's only got one good pair of shoes, and the police have taken them as evidence...

Guildford
Surrey
UK

Overheard by: Ike

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Crimes | Default | England | Moms | Shoes | Posted 2008-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Repeat: Shoe Destruction Is Imminent

Announcement over PA system: If any patients have left their shoes in reception, please come and collect them before they are destroyed.

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com

Overheard by:

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Advice | Default | Employees | England | Overheard in London's Journal | Shoes | Posted 2008-03-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

A Man with a Giant Rack

Little boy, about American tourist chick: Look, Daddy! She's got big boots on... Like a man!

England

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: England | Kids | Shoes | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

They're Made of Kiln-Fired Yak Dung with Sisal Straps

Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in California's Journal | Shoes | Posted 2007-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Shoes Last Longer, Unless We're Talking Sting or Payless

Hoochie: I understand that you're worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Hoochies | New York | Shoes | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook

Isn't That Kind of Gilding the Lily?

Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.

Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?
Categories: Canadia | Hoochies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Shoes | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us |  Facebook