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Black Forest Clogs
Skinny girl, in an accusing tone of voice: Why are you wearing elf-shoes?!
Chubby friend, sounding frightened: They're not elf shoes! They're German!
Skinny girl, squinting: Hmmmm...
Toronto
Canadia
Trust Only Gay Men
Woman with three young daughters: Okay girls, we're spies... On the search for sparkly heels. Look everywhere!
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Parenting | Shoes | Posted 2010-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You've Never Done Your Own Taxes Before, Have You?
Lady walking out of an alley to man: I can't do it now, I'd have to take my shoes off and I'm not wearing any underwear.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Ambroziak
Categories: California | Guys | Shoes | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...With Total Uggs.
Girl #1: So what's up with those boots you bought this weekend? You don't look like the type to wear them.
Girl #2: Uh, Tim* wanted me to buy them.
Girl #1: Oh, that's right. I almost forgot about his boot fetish.
Girl #2: And I'm pretty sure he wants me to wear them. And nothing else.
Girl #1, sighing wistfully: I wish I had a hot relationship like that! All I have is slut sex!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Girls | New Jersey | Relationships | Sex | Shoes | Wishes | Posted 2010-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Sheer Drama, Jersey Shore Has Nothing on the North Shore
Restaurant waitress, ranting: If my family weren't here I would take my shoe off and stab you in the eye with it.
Saugus, Massachusetts
Categories: Bartenders | Body parts | Family ties | Massachusetts | Shoes | Threats | Posted 2010-02-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wanna See My Needlpoint Thong?
High school freshman, examining friend's boot in hallway: These are like hooker boots, except crochet.
High School
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: One fine piece of needlework
Categories: Compare and contrast | Pennsylvania | Preppies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Shoes | Posted 2010-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let Your Mother, God Bless Her, Wear the Army Boots
Teen girl holding shoe: Can I get this in a...
Ghetto shoe salesman: Dayummm girl, that's an ugly shoe!
Teen girl: Em... Aren't you supposed to be selling this to me?
Ghetto shoe salesman: Yeah, but see, y'alls not a ugly person, I can't let y'all buy an ugly shoe.
Teen girl: Thank you?
Los Angeles, California
I Think I've Heard This Bob Dylan Song
Drunk guy to group of teens: If you're on the moon and you ain't got no shoes, man, you're outta luck.
Rye, New York
Overheard by: Grizzzly
Ah Yes, Spanish-- The Language Of Pretention.
Worker #1: So he told me to put my zapatos on!
Worker #2: Zapatos? What the fuck is that?
Worker #1: Apparently it's Spanish for "shoes." I mean, how pretentious!
Worker #3: What is it with Americans? Like 99% of Americans speak Spanish. It's not like they're anywhere near Spain!
Worker #2: Hang on, why weren't you wearing any shoes?
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Not-American
Soon You'll Be Hitting the Drag Clubs With Daddy
Little boy, wearing high heels: I'm bigger! I'm bigger!
Southern California
Categories: California | Kids | Kids | Shoes | Posted 2009-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why You Often See Sneakers Thrown Over Telephone Wires
Woman to man: I ask you for sneakers, and you give me skanky, nasty sneakers? I will never ask you for sneakers again. I would rather go footless.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: but wouldn't you still need sneakers?
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Massachusetts | Shoes | Women | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You'd Have to Supervise the Kids Scrubbing Them Off
Preschool teacher #1: I wouldn't want to spill coffee on those shoes.
Preschool teacher #2: Why not?
Preschool teacher #1: Because they'd get coffee stains on them.
Rumson, New Jersey
Ten Bucks Says He's a Collective Hallucination
Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!
Burning Man
Nevada
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Categories: Chicks | Clothes | Creepsters | Diet & weight | Fat people | Fears | Guys | Nevada | Shoes | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Step: Getting Rid Of This Mullet
Woman #1, watching hobo in a dress: You know, I finally feel like I'm a metropolitan woman.
Woman #2: Why? Gotten used to the traffic, crowds, pollution and public transportation?
Woman #1: Well, yeah, but that's not why. See that guy in that dress over there? When I first came to the city, I would have been amused or shocked to see something like that. Now, my first reaction is: "Those shoes and socks don't go with that dress--and Macy's isn't that far away. Dude, go get some pumps!" I mean, how often do you think I would have thought to say "dude, go get some pumps" when I was still living in Ohio? I'm living the dream!
Financial District
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: And the jacket didn't match either
Nag, Nag, Nag. Jesus.
Girl to roommate guy: You should really clean the blood out of your clown shoes.
Colby-Sawyer College Dorm
New London, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Jess
Categories: Advice | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Guys | New Hampshire | Shoes | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Former Kindergarten Teachers Make Quite Efficient Hobos
Hobo #1, holding sneaker, to another: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don't want to sweat in the shoe. That'll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you worried about? Your feet already stink. I can smell them from here. Those people can smell them from here. Now put on your goddamn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I'm going to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of everyone on this train.
(others on train applaud)
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Finally, a humanitarian homeless man
This From a Girl with an "Enter Here -->" Tattoo?
Girl #1: Did you hear John* is thinking about getting a new tattoo?
Girl #2: Yeah? What's it gonna be?
Girl #1: He wants to get a kangaroo wearing gumboots, with a shovel over its shoulder. How classy is that?
Sydney
Australia
Why New Zealand Girls Wear Monacles: Explained
Blonde girl #1: I really want those silver shoes from Moochi Lane. You know, those pointy ones? Even though they look a little weird.
Blonde girl #2: They look like crazy tuxedo man shoes. You know? Like those shoes that Mr Peanut wears...crazy tuxedo man shoes.
Blonde girl #1: Oh my god, they totally do!
Wellington
New Zealand
Overheard by: Felicity
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | New Zealand | Shoes | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Fun As Quiet Contemplation Of Our Lord's Bounty, But Close
Middle-aged African American bus driver: So what if she is? I wear heels and I'm 5′8". I wear them to church.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger: Oh, but at least at church you're sitting down.
Middle-aged African American bus driver: Oh no, honey. I'm up singing and dancing. I go to a black church. We get our praise on.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger (after uncomfortable pause): That sounds fun.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yes it does
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Conductors | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Religion | Shoes | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Felt Really Bad When the Shoe and I Ran Off to Cancun Without Her
Guy: Didn't you have a friend who lost her virginity to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and ruptured it or something. Like riding a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us because I was the only one busting up laughing.
California
Couldn't You Just Ask for the Air-speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
Bouncer: I don't know... Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don't your shoes match your skirt?
London, Ontario
Canadia
So You Can't Date Jews or Muslims
Girl #1: Hey, what's your shoe size?
Girl #2: Six.
Girl #1: I've got a pair of shoes that would fit you, if you want them. They smell vaguely of bacon.
Vancouver
British Columbia
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Food | Friends | Gifts | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Shoes | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Along with One of His Feet
Mother at market stall: But he's only got one good pair of shoes, and the police have taken them as evidence...
Guildford
Surrey
UK
Overheard by: Ike
Repeat: Shoe Destruction Is Imminent
Announcement over PA system: If any patients have left their shoes in reception, please come and collect them before they are destroyed.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by:
A Man with a Giant Rack
Little boy, about American tourist chick: Look, Daddy! She's got big boots on... Like a man!
England
They're Made of Kiln-Fired Yak Dung with Sisal Straps
Woman: Are these sandals man-made?
Clerk: The materials?
Woman: No, are these sandals man-made? Like, are they organic?
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in California's Journal | Shoes | Posted 2007-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shoes Last Longer, Unless We're Talking Sting or Payless
Hoochie: I understand that you're worried about me, but I have self-control.
Friend: Do you?
Hoochie: Buying a pair of shoes is different from fucking someone.
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Hoochies | New York | Shoes | Posted 2007-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That Kind of Gilding the Lily?
Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.
Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Categories: Canadia | Hoochies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Shoes | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
