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...While You're Working As a Mall Santa.

Husband: I'm good at finding little kids' panties.
Wife: That's not a quality that you should announce.

Jersey City, New Jersey


Categories: Advice | Bragging | Couples | New Jersey | Undies | Posted 2011-07-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And, to Be Fair, I Borrowed Them from Some Girl on the Bus

Girl #1: So, I wore your underwear the other day.
Girl #2: Well, at least they were clean. I just washed them.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: mitch


Categories: Education | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Undies | Posted 2010-12-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.

College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don't have to wear Spanx with it.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado


Categories: Advice | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2010-11-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Threesome-Resistant Boys Are Sadly Common in Oregon

Whiny girl to female friend, showing a polka-dotted bra: Come on! I'm trying to show you my boobs!
Boy, lifting his shirt: The only boobs she wants to see are mine!

Eugene, Oregon


Categories: Friends | Girls | Guys | Oregon | Rack | Undies | Wishes | Posted 2010-08-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...And Haven't We All Been There?

Woman on cell in department store: She's probably trading food for underwear.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Leslie


Categories: Food | Ohio | On the phone | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-07-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...And 36C.

Girl selling coffee: Do you want sugar in this?
Guy buying coffee: How big are your cups?
Girl selling coffee, face turning red: That's a bit personal!

Scotland

Overheard by: somedaftlassie


Categories: Customers | Employees | Food | Offers and requests | Questions | Rack | Scotland | Undies | Posted 2010-06-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Weirdest. Job Interview. Ever.

Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don't have cooties anymore!

Bus
Seattle, Washington


Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma


Categories: Bus | Guys | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | STDs | Undies | Washington | Posted 2010-06-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Australian Pornos Actually Have Plots

Lady in the cafe: I stole that woman's bra, that's why her boobs were exposed.

Opera
Melbourne
Australia


Categories: Australia | Bars & Clubs | Crimes | Rack | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-06-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You've Never Done Your Own Taxes Before, Have You?

Lady walking out of an alley to man: I can't do it now, I'd have to take my shoes off and I'm not wearing any underwear.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Ambroziak


Categories: California | Guys | Shoes | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-05-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Oh, Please-- Victoria's Secret's Been Selling Those for Years.

Girl, about teacher: He kept bending over in front of my desk. And he was wearing these tie-dye boxers, and they were hanging out of his pants. Except it looked like a thong. Like, there was a thong line. So, yeah, he might have been wearing a thong.
Girl #2: Maybe it's like a weird, secret guy thing. The top looks like boxers but the rest is a thong.
Girl #1: Yeah.

High School
Columbia, Missouri


Categories: Girls | Gossip | Missouri | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Undies | Posted 2010-04-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

NewsFlash: Hippie Child Lives in Oregon. Film at 11.

Preschool teacher, helping girl go pee: Did you forget your underwear this morning?
Preschool girl: No, I go commando all the time!

Preschool in Oregon

Overheard by: Non-c


Categories: Kids | Kids | Oregon | Teachers | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Everybody Thinks I Went to Eastern Europe for Breast Implants

Middle school girl: Normal bras don't work, because my boobs are, like, triangle-shaped.

Missouri


Categories: Girls | Missouri | Rack | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Snooki Doesn't Care Who Knows It

Guy: You have a hole in your pants.
Girl: I know.
Guy, after pause: Nice underwear.
Girl's boyfriend: Yeah, she always has nice underwear...

New Jersey


Categories: Bragging | Hubbies | New Jersey | Undies | Posted 2010-01-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wouldn't Going Potty First Be Most Important?

Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on... That's the most important thing.

Puyallup, Washington

Overheard by: in the next stall...


Categories: Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Pee | Undies | Washington | Posted 2010-01-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Was Hoping to Avoid the Disney Store

Queer: I told you they wouldn't have nipple stars!
Girl: Why the hell would they not have nipple stars? It's a hot topic, they should have nipple stars!

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Shopper


Categories: Fashion | Girls | Nipples | Ohio | Queers | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm Saving Those for the Yearbook

Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!

High School
Nashville, Tennessee


Categories: Clothes | Friends | Queers | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Tennessee | Undies | Posted 2010-01-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Everthing I Hated About High School Is Suddenly Flooding Back to Me...

Eccentric driver's ed student: Sometimes I really just like to sniff my pants. (leans forward and sniffs his pants)

Northport, New York

Overheard by: Jessica


Categories: Bus drivers | Clothes | Creepsters | New York | Sensory experiences | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Okay, You Don't Have to Show Me.

Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I'm gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I'm not wearing one.

Spencer, Iowa


Categories: Drugs | Family | Family ties | Iowa | Old folks | Smoking | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Do I Know You?

Guy on crowded bus to friend: My undies are going to smell like Mexican food for a day and a half.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: I don't want to know

Yet Another Reason to Love L.A.

Girl #1: Do you wear thongs when you are on your period?
Girl #2: Of course! I need to air it out.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: rose


Categories: California | Clothes | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Undies | Posted 2009-12-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Mormon Missionaries Were Only Too Happy to Obey

Female college student: Why are you wearing underwear? I don't wear underwear. I'm a dancer. You are not a dancer. What are you even doing here? You're not a real dancer. You're an elf. And you're going to wear panties like an elf.

Chicago, Illinois


Categories: Clothes | Dancing | Illinois | Questions | Students | Undies | Posted 2009-12-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's No Euphemism, Dear Reader

Girl on cell: I would've loved to have gone to that socks summit. It sounds amazing!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Me, too?


Categories: Clothes | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Undies | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You, Dad.

Young college woman on cell: No! No, you may not wear my underwear!

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by: silver spring


Categories: Clothes | Eavesdrop DC | Offers and requests | On the phone | Students | Undies | Posted 2009-09-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sometimes I Like to Playfully Snap My Own Strap!

Girl browsing underwear section: I love this bra--you'd wear it just to play with yourself, you know?

Wiltshire
England


Overheard by: J


Categories: Clothes | England | Girls | Masturbation | Shopping | Undies | Posted 2009-08-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...So I Went Shopping for You

Guy to girl: I know about women. I lived with fifteen women. I know when you're going to get your period, and I can tell your bra size just by looking.

Kenosha, Wisconsin


Categories: Clothes | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Rack | Undies | Wisconsin | Posted 2009-07-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

An Equation That Changes After Puberty

Mom to young daughter: No, you don't get a lollipop just because you're wearing underwear.

Dulwich Village
London
England


Overheard by: Didn't get a lollipop either


Categories: England | Food | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Undies | Posted 2009-07-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Worst. Job Interview. Ever.

Woman #1: Are you wearing sexy underwear?
Woman #2: No, just cotton.

Arts and Crafts Show
New York City, New York


Overheard by: Karlene Kuhn


Categories: Clothes | New York | Questions | Undies | Women | Posted 2009-07-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Mean, What Good Is a Briefcase Without Briefs?

Old dude to another, reminiscing: You still got that briefcase with all that underwear in it?

Kansas City, Missouri


Categories: Clothes | Missouri | Old folks | Questions | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Don't Know Whether To Laugh, Say "Awww....", Call DSS, Or Puke In My Mouth

Lady on cell: Just because she's wearing big-girl panties doesn't mean she's not your baby.

Target
Midwest City, Okahoma


Categories: Clothes | Oklahoma | On the phone | Parenting | Stores | Undies | Women | Posted 2009-07-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Your Editors Badly Want to Hear the Joke for Which This Is the Punchline

Woman to another: And I said to him, "well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!"

Portsmouth
England


Categories: England | Hands | Sensory experiences | Undies | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-07-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But You Knew What You Were Getting Into When You Agreed to Date Paul Bunyan

40-something woman: So now all my panties are gross and streched out.
Friend: What a jerk!

Macy's
Traverse City, Michigan


Overheard by: megansbaby


Categories: Default | Friends | Gripes | Insults | Michigan | Stores | Undies | Women | Posted 2008-12-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Thanks, Girls Next Door!

Woman to friend: I was just wondering how I was going to get my panties on in traffic.

University of Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Tatiana


Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Florida | Questions | Undies | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-12-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Don't Let Me Come Home Without Them This Time

Hot girl #1: Have you decided what you're wearing tonight?
Hot girl #2: Pants.

Concord Pike
Wilminton, Delaware


Categories: Clothes | Default | Delaware | Girls | Questions | Undies | Posted 2008-12-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ballplayers' Demands Get Stranger Every Year

Young man to two female friends: If we go on that ride and his underwear aren't wet at the end, I am making him trade me.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: it's a deal!


Categories: Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Queers | Sexuality | Undies | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's a Personal Choice

Tall girl: Because you can still wear it under your clothes and be like, "Oh yeah, I have sexy underwear on and you'd only see it if I took my clothes off."
Short girl: Or if you bend over, which I do a lot.

Woodstock, New York


Categories: Bringing it back to you | Clothes | Default | Girls | New York | Sexuality | Undies | Posted 2008-11-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now My Batman Costume Just Looks Silly

(elastic snapping sound)
Woman in stall
: And that was the sound of my outside panties!


Bathroom, Dive Bar
Ohio


Overheard by: Monika


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Ohio | Restroom | Sensory experiences | Undies | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-11-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Do You Ask, Senator?

Girl on cell: Yes, I have purple underwear.

Metro Bus
Washington, DC


Overheard by: Under where?


Categories: Bus | Default | Girls | On the phone | Undies | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-11-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

When You Abducted That Thong It Was Like You Ripped Out My Very Soul

20-something crying girl: You. Don't. Get. It. I bleed Victoria's Secret.

Duff's Wings
Buffalo, New York


Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | New York | Restaurants | Undies | Posted 2008-09-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If It Was Around at Least One Ankle, It Counts

Guy: I saw Mark yesterday.
Girl: Oh my gawd! We haven't seen him, like, since the nightclub last year.
Guy: I'm surprised you remember that night.
Girl: Yeah, good thing you are strong enough to carry me.
Guy: Good thing you were wearing underwear.
Girl: Barely.
Guy: That's my girl.

TTC Subway
Toronto
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Compliments | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Train | Undies | Posted 2008-09-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Because, If Not, I'll Have to Mark My Territory with Urine

Woman getting into her car to guy in SUV: Wait, did I leave my underwear in your car?

Washington Township, New Jersey

Overheard by: Russ


Categories: Default | New Jersey | Questions | Sexuality | Undies | Women | Posted 2008-09-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's What Thongs Are Supposed to Feel Like, Billy

Five-year-old boy, loudly interrupting adults: I have a wedgie!
(adults laugh)
Five-year-old boy
: This wedgie train is carrying wedgies!


Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts

The Snake Was Shedding Her Skin

Girl #1: I saw her panties.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Oh, they were off of her, not on her.

Woodbridge, Virginia


Categories: Default | Girls | Undies | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

"Just Got Tubes Tied"?

Girl, holding up white lacey underwear with text across the ass: "Just married"? Shit, they should make a version that says "just divorced."

Victoria's Secret
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: McFreaky


Categories: Default | Girls | Relationships | San Francisco | Stores | Undies | Posted 2008-08-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Middle-Aged Women Try to Squeeze Into It

(walking past Victoria's Secret PINK)
Goth #1
: Dude, that place sells, like, sexy lingerie for 14-year-olds.

Goth #2: Awesome, dude!

Old Orchard Mall
Skokie, Illinois


Categories: Default | Goths | Illinois | Kink | Malls | Undies | Posted 2008-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then Yells at Me for Throwing Her Thongs Out of It

Skinny brunette: I hate her! I hate her so much!
Fat chick: Why? What did she do this time?
Skinny brunette: It's just the same stuff. She hangs her thongs on the wall, and they keep multiplying. Plus, she leaves the window opened.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York


Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fat people | Feelings | Gripes | New York | Undies | Posted 2008-08-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sentences Involving "Mom" and "Underwear" Aren't Typically a Recipe for Normalcy

Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you my mom is wearing thong underwear?
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, that is so weird!

Old Navy Store
Kansas City, Missouri


Categories: Default | Family ties | Gripes | Missouri | Stores | Teens | Undies | Posted 2008-08-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ooh, Stool Softener--Perfect!

Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we're here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.

Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois


Categories: Clothes | Default | Etiquette | Gender issues | Illinois | Undies | Women | Posted 2008-07-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Your Webcam Viewers Thank You, Too.

(two girls exit bathroom stall together)
Girl #1
: It was such a pleasure watching you. It was bliss.


Elbo Room Bar
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: crafty biotech


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Default | Feelings | Girls | Happiness | Restroom | San Francisco | Sex | Undies | Posted 2008-07-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is My Widdle Boy Gonna Asphyxiatey-watey?

Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That'll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that's so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?

DSW Shoes
New Jersey


Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper


Categories: Default | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Stores | Undies | Posted 2008-03-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Are Those Fangs on the Clasp?

Girl: So, my boyfriend couldn't take off my bra. I told him I'd wear the front-clasp one next time. He was like, 'I don't want your pity bra!' Wanna try?
Queer pal, trying to remove bra: Oh my god! This is not a pity bra! This is the meanest bra in the whole world!

Montreal
Canadia


Categories: Canadia | Fag hags | Queers | Undies | Posted 2008-01-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Find Me a Black Thong in Medium

Little boy picking up women's underwear: Mommy, what is this?
Mother: That's women's underwear.
Little boy: I'm touching women's underwear?! I'm touching women's underwear!
Mother: Stay away from that, Tommy*.

Target
Novi, Michigan


Categories: Kids | Michigan | Moms | Undies | Posted 2007-12-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Bitch Kept Inking Us

Chick: So, are you still trying to work out how to put a G-string on an octopus?

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com


Categories: Animals | Chicks | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Questions | Undies | Posted 2007-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Not Even If One of Them Is on Your Head

Teen on cell: It doesn't matter! Two pairs of underwear does not equal one pair of pants!

Michigan State University
Lansing, Michigan


Categories: Michigan | On the phone | Philosophy | Undies | Posted 2007-09-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

A Small Price to Pay for Getting Head from Slimer

Girl changing after gym: Oh my god! My underwear's, like, glowing inside my pants!

Lockport Township High School
Lockport, Illinois


Categories: Bimbettes | Illinois | Undies | Posted 2007-09-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Trying to Keep the Predators Away, Sweetie

Whispering mom: Don't play with your skirt like that. You know what you forgot this morning.
Three-year-old, loudly: Panties!

Dunkin' Donuts
Virginia


Overheard by: callumny


Categories: Kids | Moms | Undies | Virginia | Posted 2007-08-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is a Frilly Lace Thong Too Much to Ask?

Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!

Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina


Overheard by: Bryan


Categories: Kids | North Carolina | Undies | Posted 2007-08-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How Hanes Put Me through Grad School

Girl to friend: Yeah, the few times I've sold my underwear it was always the cheapest pair that sold for the most.

NW 23rd Avenue
Portland, Oregon


Categories: Chicks | Oregon | Undies | Posted 2007-08-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Oh, Well. It's the Thought That Counts

Girl to guy trying to grab her underwear: Ow! What the fuck are you doing?
Boy: Sorry! I was trying to give you a wedgie, but I didn't realize that you already had one.

Alaska Pacific University
Anchorage, Alaska


Categories: Alaska | Colleges & Universities | Students | Undies | Posted 2007-05-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Really? I Couldn't See It behind Your Asscheeks

Sorority pledge #1 walking in on another: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Don't worry, I didn't see anything.
Sorority pledge #2: Haha, it's okay, I don't care -- I have a thong on.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: victoria's true secret


Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2007-04-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Saddest Words: 'It Might Have Been'

Asian chick: If I wasn't wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: doug


Categories: Asians | Ass | Default | People | Undies | Posted 2007-03-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook