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...While You're Working As a Mall Santa.
Husband: I'm good at finding little kids' panties.
Wife: That's not a quality that you should announce.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Advice | Bragging | Couples | New Jersey | Undies | Posted 2011-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, to Be Fair, I Borrowed Them from Some Girl on the Bus
Girl #1: So, I wore your underwear the other day.
Girl #2: Well, at least they were clean. I just washed them.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: mitch
Categories: Education | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Undies | Posted 2010-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.
College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don't have to wear Spanx with it.
Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Advice | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2010-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Threesome-Resistant Boys Are Sadly Common in Oregon
Whiny girl to female friend, showing a polka-dotted bra: Come on! I'm trying to show you my boobs!
Boy, lifting his shirt: The only boobs she wants to see are mine!
Eugene, Oregon
...And Haven't We All Been There?
Woman on cell in department store: She's probably trading food for underwear.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Leslie
Categories: Food | Ohio | On the phone | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And 36C.
Girl selling coffee: Do you want sugar in this?
Guy buying coffee: How big are your cups?
Girl selling coffee, face turning red: That's a bit personal!
Scotland
Overheard by: somedaftlassie
Weirdest. Job Interview. Ever.
Man on cell in very quiet bus: Look. I took the pills, I put the powder in my pants, I don't have cooties anymore!
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Kat from Tacoma
Categories: Bus | Guys | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | STDs | Undies | Washington | Posted 2010-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Australian Pornos Actually Have Plots
Lady in the cafe: I stole that woman's bra, that's why her boobs were exposed.
Opera
Melbourne
Australia
You've Never Done Your Own Taxes Before, Have You?
Lady walking out of an alley to man: I can't do it now, I'd have to take my shoes off and I'm not wearing any underwear.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Ambroziak
Categories: California | Guys | Shoes | Undies | Women | Posted 2010-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Please-- Victoria's Secret's Been Selling Those for Years.
Girl, about teacher: He kept bending over in front of my desk. And he was wearing these tie-dye boxers, and they were hanging out of his pants. Except it looked like a thong. Like, there was a thong line. So, yeah, he might have been wearing a thong.
Girl #2: Maybe it's like a weird, secret guy thing. The top looks like boxers but the rest is a thong.
Girl #1: Yeah.
High School
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Girls | Gossip | Missouri | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Undies | Posted 2010-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: Hippie Child Lives in Oregon. Film at 11.
Preschool teacher, helping girl go pee: Did you forget your underwear this morning?
Preschool girl: No, I go commando all the time!
Preschool in Oregon
Overheard by: Non-c
Everybody Thinks I Went to Eastern Europe for Breast Implants
Middle school girl: Normal bras don't work, because my boobs are, like, triangle-shaped.
Missouri
And Snooki Doesn't Care Who Knows It
Guy: You have a hole in your pants.
Girl: I know.
Guy, after pause: Nice underwear.
Girl's boyfriend: Yeah, she always has nice underwear...
New Jersey
Categories: Bragging | Hubbies | New Jersey | Undies | Posted 2010-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wouldn't Going Potty First Be Most Important?
Mother in bathroom stall to small child: We can go soon, but first mommy has to go potty, then put her pants back on. Put her pants back on... That's the most important thing.
Puyallup, Washington
Overheard by: in the next stall...
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Moms | Parenting | Pee | Undies | Washington | Posted 2010-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Hoping to Avoid the Disney Store
Queer: I told you they wouldn't have nipple stars!
Girl: Why the hell would they not have nipple stars? It's a hot topic, they should have nipple stars!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Shopper
I'm Saving Those for the Yearbook
Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!
High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Everthing I Hated About High School Is Suddenly Flooding Back to Me...
Eccentric driver's ed student: Sometimes I really just like to sniff my pants. (leans forward and sniffs his pants)
Northport, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Bus drivers | Clothes | Creepsters | New York | Sensory experiences | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, You Don't Have to Show Me.
Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I'm gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I'm not wearing one.
Spencer, Iowa
Do I Know You?
Guy on crowded bus to friend: My undies are going to smell like Mexican food for a day and a half.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I don't want to know
Categories: Bus | Compare and contrast | Food | Friends | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Undies | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yet Another Reason to Love L.A.
Girl #1: Do you wear thongs when you are on your period?
Girl #2: Of course! I need to air it out.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: rose
Categories: California | Clothes | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Undies | Posted 2009-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Mormon Missionaries Were Only Too Happy to Obey
Female college student: Why are you wearing underwear? I don't wear underwear. I'm a dancer. You are not a dancer. What are you even doing here? You're not a real dancer. You're an elf. And you're going to wear panties like an elf.
Chicago, Illinois
That's No Euphemism, Dear Reader
Girl on cell: I would've loved to have gone to that socks summit. It sounds amazing!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Me, too?
Categories: Clothes | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Undies | Wishes | Posted 2009-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You, Dad.
Young college woman on cell: No! No, you may not wear my underwear!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: silver spring
Categories: Clothes | Eavesdrop DC | Offers and requests | On the phone | Students | Undies | Posted 2009-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes I Like to Playfully Snap My Own Strap!
Girl browsing underwear section: I love this bra--you'd wear it just to play with yourself, you know?
Wiltshire
England
Overheard by: J
...So I Went Shopping for You
Guy to girl: I know about women. I lived with fifteen women. I know when you're going to get your period, and I can tell your bra size just by looking.
Kenosha, Wisconsin
An Equation That Changes After Puberty
Mom to young daughter: No, you don't get a lollipop just because you're wearing underwear.
Dulwich Village
London
England
Overheard by: Didn't get a lollipop either
Worst. Job Interview. Ever.
Woman #1: Are you wearing sexy underwear?
Woman #2: No, just cotton.
Arts and Crafts Show
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Karlene Kuhn
I Mean, What Good Is a Briefcase Without Briefs?
Old dude to another, reminiscing: You still got that briefcase with all that underwear in it?
Kansas City, Missouri
I Don't Know Whether To Laugh, Say "Awww....", Call DSS, Or Puke In My Mouth
Lady on cell: Just because she's wearing big-girl panties doesn't mean she's not your baby.
Target
Midwest City, Okahoma
Your Editors Badly Want to Hear the Joke for Which This Is the Punchline
Woman to another: And I said to him, "well, if I had oily hands, I wouldn't come into your office and wipe them on your underpants!"
Portsmouth
England
But You Knew What You Were Getting Into When You Agreed to Date Paul Bunyan
40-something woman: So now all my panties are gross and streched out.
Friend: What a jerk!
Macy's
Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: megansbaby
Thanks, Girls Next Door!
Woman to friend: I was just wondering how I was going to get my panties on in traffic.
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Tatiana
Just Don't Let Me Come Home Without Them This Time
Hot girl #1: Have you decided what you're wearing tonight?
Hot girl #2: Pants.
Concord Pike
Wilminton, Delaware
Ballplayers' Demands Get Stranger Every Year
Young man to two female friends: If we go on that ride and his underwear aren't wet at the end, I am making him trade me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: it's a deal!
It's a Personal Choice
Tall girl: Because you can still wear it under your clothes and be like, "Oh yeah, I have sexy underwear on and you'd only see it if I took my clothes off."
Short girl: Or if you bend over, which I do a lot.
Woodstock, New York
Now My Batman Costume Just Looks Silly
(elastic snapping sound)
Woman in stall: And that was the sound of my outside panties!
Bathroom, Dive Bar
Ohio
Overheard by: Monika
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Ohio | Restroom | Sensory experiences | Undies | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do You Ask, Senator?
Girl on cell: Yes, I have purple underwear.
Metro Bus
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Under where?
Categories: Bus | Default | Girls | On the phone | Undies | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-11-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When You Abducted That Thong It Was Like You Ripped Out My Very Soul
20-something crying girl: You. Don't. Get. It. I bleed Victoria's Secret.
Duff's Wings
Buffalo, New York
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Girls | New York | Restaurants | Undies | Posted 2008-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If It Was Around at Least One Ankle, It Counts
Guy: I saw Mark yesterday.
Girl: Oh my gawd! We haven't seen him, like, since the nightclub last year.
Guy: I'm surprised you remember that night.
Girl: Yeah, good thing you are strong enough to carry me.
Guy: Good thing you were wearing underwear.
Girl: Barely.
Guy: That's my girl.
TTC Subway
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compliments | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Train | Undies | Posted 2008-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because, If Not, I'll Have to Mark My Territory with Urine
Woman getting into her car to guy in SUV: Wait, did I leave my underwear in your car?
Washington Township, New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
That's What Thongs Are Supposed to Feel Like, Billy
Five-year-old boy, loudly interrupting adults: I have a wedgie!
(adults laugh)
Five-year-old boy: This wedgie train is carrying wedgies!
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Guys | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Undies | Posted 2008-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Snake Was Shedding Her Skin
Girl #1: I saw her panties.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Oh, they were off of her, not on her.
Woodbridge, Virginia
"Just Got Tubes Tied"?
Girl, holding up white lacey underwear with text across the ass: "Just married"? Shit, they should make a version that says "just divorced."
Victoria's Secret
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McFreaky
Categories: Default | Girls | Relationships | San Francisco | Stores | Undies | Posted 2008-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Middle-Aged Women Try to Squeeze Into It
(walking past Victoria's Secret PINK)
Goth #1: Dude, that place sells, like, sexy lingerie for 14-year-olds.
Goth #2: Awesome, dude!
Old Orchard Mall
Skokie, Illinois
Then Yells at Me for Throwing Her Thongs Out of It
Skinny brunette: I hate her! I hate her so much!
Fat chick: Why? What did she do this time?
Skinny brunette: It's just the same stuff. She hangs her thongs on the wall, and they keep multiplying. Plus, she leaves the window opened.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fat people | Feelings | Gripes | New York | Undies | Posted 2008-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sentences Involving "Mom" and "Underwear" Aren't Typically a Recipe for Normalcy
Teenage girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you my mom is wearing thong underwear?
Teenage girl #2: Oh my god, that is so weird!
Old Navy Store
Kansas City, Missouri
Ooh, Stool Softener--Perfect!
Middle-aged matronly looking woman: Well, while we're here I can get some of this stocking stuffer shit.
Walgreens
Chicago, Illinois
Your Webcam Viewers Thank You, Too.
(two girls exit bathroom stall together)
Girl #1: It was such a pleasure watching you. It was bliss.
Elbo Room Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: crafty biotech
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Default | Feelings | Girls | Happiness | Restroom | San Francisco | Sex | Undies | Posted 2008-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is My Widdle Boy Gonna Asphyxiatey-watey?
Mom, giving toddler a stocking: That'll keep you quiet for a minute. [Toddler starts stretching it over his face.] Awww, that's so cute. Are you gonna go rob a bank?
DSW Shoes
New Jersey
Overheard by: Unburdened shoe shopper
Are Those Fangs on the Clasp?
Girl: So, my boyfriend couldn't take off my bra. I told him I'd wear the front-clasp one next time. He was like, 'I don't want your pity bra!' Wanna try?
Queer pal, trying to remove bra: Oh my god! This is not a pity bra! This is the meanest bra in the whole world!
Montreal
Canadia
And Find Me a Black Thong in Medium
Little boy picking up women's underwear: Mommy, what is this?
Mother: That's women's underwear.
Little boy: I'm touching women's underwear?! I'm touching women's underwear!
Mother: Stay away from that, Tommy*.
Target
Novi, Michigan
The Bitch Kept Inking Us
Chick: So, are you still trying to work out how to put a G-string on an octopus?
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Questions | Undies | Posted 2007-11-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not Even If One of Them Is on Your Head
Teen on cell: It doesn't matter! Two pairs of underwear does not equal one pair of pants!
Michigan State University
Lansing, Michigan
Categories: Michigan | On the phone | Philosophy | Undies | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Small Price to Pay for Getting Head from Slimer
Girl changing after gym: Oh my god! My underwear's, like, glowing inside my pants!
Lockport Township High School
Lockport, Illinois
Just Trying to Keep the Predators Away, Sweetie
Whispering mom: Don't play with your skirt like that. You know what you forgot this morning.
Three-year-old, loudly: Panties!
Dunkin' Donuts
Virginia
Overheard by: callumny
Is a Frilly Lace Thong Too Much to Ask?
Four-year-old boy: I said, all I want is underwear!
Banana Republic
Smithfield, North Carolina
Overheard by: Bryan
Categories: Kids | North Carolina | Undies | Posted 2007-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hanes Put Me through Grad School
Girl to friend: Yeah, the few times I've sold my underwear it was always the cheapest pair that sold for the most.
NW 23rd Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Oh, Well. It's the Thought That Counts
Girl to guy trying to grab her underwear: Ow! What the fuck are you doing?
Boy: Sorry! I was trying to give you a wedgie, but I didn't realize that you already had one.
Alaska Pacific University
Anchorage, Alaska
Categories: Alaska | Colleges & Universities | Students | Undies | Posted 2007-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? I Couldn't See It behind Your Asscheeks
Sorority pledge #1 walking in on another: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Don't worry, I didn't see anything.
Sorority pledge #2: Haha, it's okay, I don't care -- I have a thong on.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: victoria's true secret
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Saddest Words: 'It Might Have Been'
Asian chick: If I wasn't wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
