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Well That's What the African Kids in Those Charity Videos Are Always Whining About!
Skinny Asian girl: These shorts are way too big.
Plus-sized white friend: Oh no, I have skinny-ass legs. My life sucks. What am I going to do?
Skinny Asian girl: (laughs)
St. Joseph, Michigan
I Recommend Suicide
Girl to friend: You know, you're the kind of person who, if you blew a bubble, I would pop it in your face.
UCLA
Westwood, California
Categories: California | Character | Clothing | Compliments | Girls | Posted 2011-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Blame Myself for Buying You the Little Pin-striped Suit and Supersoaker
Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.
Memphis, Tennessee
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Glad the condom broke | Holidays | Tennessee | Posted 2010-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Winners Of the Sluttiest at McGill Contest
Physics major #1: Well, I lost my credit and debit cards, so I had to call and cancel them.
Physics major #2: Oh yeah, those girls who took off your pants, right?
McGill University
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Clothes | Clothing | Relationships | Students | Posted 2010-11-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Because I Won't Make That Mistake Again.
Student, during class: Are we talking about real prostitutes or a guy who duct tapes everything back and puts a skirt on?
Stockton College
New Jersey
Overheard by: Charlie
Categories: Body parts | Clothing | Gender issues | Jobs & Careers | New Jersey | Students | Posted 2010-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are These Heels Clear? I Don't Think So!
Girl #1 to friend wearing tank top, booty shoes, and 3-inch heels: Girl, I don't know what they be sayin. You do not look like no hoe.
Girl #2, passing by, to friend: Hoe.
High School
Washington State
Categories: Clothing | Compare and contrast | Friends | Girls | Insults | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Washington | Posted 2010-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have You Tried Polygamy Barn?
30-something woman to employee: Hey, do you have those long jean skirts here? You know, the kind that polygamists' wives wear.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. lil
Categories: Clothing | Employees | Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Women | Posted 2010-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stacy London Was a Challenging Kid to Raise
Woman to husband: Honey, do you think this would be a good fall coat for me?
Five-year-old daughter: It looks like an old-fashioned coat.
Woman: I knew you were gonna say that!
Five-year-old: A young lady like you shouldn't wear such an old-fashioned coat!
Target
Allen Park, Michigan
Said I Hated Black People Enough for Both Of Us
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me...
Norman, Oklahoma
Why Superman Gets So Much Girlie Action.
Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women's tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women's tights make your junk look bigger!
Commuter Train
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: strictly boxers.
Not Even with All the Wood and the Nailing?
Super peppy freshman orientation guide: What was your favorite Halloween costume?
College freshman: Well, I was a construction worker once.
Super peppy freshman orientation guide: Was it a sexy construction worker?
College freshman: Well, I was five years old... so no.
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Categories: Age and ageing | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Students | Virginia | Posted 2010-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well I Love the Netting.
Woman to son: That's the dress Larry Bird Johnson wore to the inauguration.
First Ladies Exhibit, Smithsonian
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dave White
Categories: About celebrities | Clothing | Kids | Moms | Sexuality | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2010-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember: All That Glitters Is Not Gold, Son.
Boy to father about girlfriend standing right next to him: She decorated her panties and tried to show them to me.
Father, laughing loudly at glaring people: Sorry.
Arlington National Cemetary
Arlington, Virginia
Categories: Clothing | Dads | Kids | Masturbation | Virginia | Posted 2010-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Another Conflict in Which the Swiss Happily Remain Neutral
Overweight redhead Southern lady #1, looking through Switzerland t-shirts: Y'all, Ginger... I think this size is a li'l too small...
Overweight redhead Southern lady #2: Naw, I think that looks 'bout right.
Random lady: I thought we went on vacation to get away from the Southerners, not go find some more...
Lucerne
Switzerland
Overheard by: marisawin
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Europe | Fat people | Strangers | Tourists | Posted 2010-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have Mel Gibson Pegged.
Suit: I assume he's sitting in his backyard in a loincloth right now.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Massachusetts | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-08-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Straight Guys See Women's Clothes Solely in Terms Of What They Cover
Annoyed wife trying on unattractive skirt: So what do you think?
Husband, with baby: It looks nice.
Annoyed wife, returning to dressing room: What do you know?
Husband to baby: Son, you have no chance.
Old Navy
South Carolina
Overheard by: Kempii
The Girls Totally Planned This
High school girl in hot tub #1: Ugh, my bikini won't stop falling down!
High school girl in hot tub #2: You do look a little... undersupported. Do you wanna trade tops?
High school girl in hot tub #1: Really?
High school girl in hot tub #2: Yeah, it's not like I need the support.
High school girl in hot tub #1: True.
(high school boys in hot tub stare intently)
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: Jenny Suburbs
So Now I Need a Dust Bath
Paris Hilton lookalike waif on cell, wearing tight cargo Capris and giant white sunglasses: No, the steakhouse one... (pause) Yeah, when the vultures flew out of my pants!
Trailer Park behind PETCO
New Jersey
Overheard by: IDK if I want to understand this one
Categories: Birds | Clothing | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2010-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Never Know When Mr. Right Will Fall Into Your Vagina
Hoochie #1: That's why I don't wear panties with tight skirts; I need maximum mass, maximum jiggle.
Hoochie #2: That's also why you always flashin' your business, looking like a ho.
Hoochie #1: So? What you doing up in that club--gettin' drunk? (laughs)
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Mistopher
Categories: California | Clothes | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Hoochies | Posted 2010-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Gal Can Dream
Old woman shopping with friend, picking up jeans: Well, these looked good on George Strait.
Warrenton, Virginia
I Said You're Fine!
Woman to boy: Put a sweater on!
Boy's mother: No, he's fine.
Boy: I know I'm fat but I still get cold.
Sarajevo
Bosnia
Categories: Clothing | Diet & weight | Europe | Fat people | Kids | Moms | Weather | Women | Posted 2010-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nature: 3 Nurture: 0
Five-year-old boy, watching news about Priscilla Queen of the Desert on tv: Those ladies look very strange.
Dad: They're actually men dressed as ladies, Edward.
Five-year-old boy: I'm going to dress like that when I'm a man!
London
England
Overheard by: Murray
...According to Miss Manners.
Girl #1: Oh, I like your jacket.
Girl #2: Thanks, it's not mine, Julie loaned it to me. Thank god she did, because she puked on mine.
Girl #1: Is that why she loaned it to you?
Girl #2: No, I didn't tell her she puked on mine. It's not really cool to bring up stuff people did when they were having a seizure.
Cork
Ireland
Categories: Clothing | Compliments | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Questions | Posted 2010-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Can't Get Decent Sackcloth Anymore
Crazy-religious-dude, pointing at male student: Are you free from sin?
Male student: Yes I am!
Cray-religious-dude: Sure about that? (looks student over) Then why is your shirt so tight?
Florida International University
Categories: Christianity | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Crazies | Florida | Questions | Religious fanatics | Posted 2010-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of Those Rare Days When the Sun Comes Out
Half-naked girl to clothed passerby: Whassup? It's just one of those days.
Clothed passerby: I hear ya.
Eugene, Oregon
At Least It's My Tuxedo Speedo.
Flamboyantly gay guy in teeny Speedo, looking at bride in hotel lobby: Ummmm... Is there a wedding here?
Front desk agent, also looking at bride: Yup.
Gay guy, disgusted: God, I feel so silly in my Speedo.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: proud to be... an idiot?
Categories: Arizona | Clothing | Employees | Queers | Relationships | Posted 2010-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Mmm, Okay, Leave the Shirt Off.
Girl #1, watching attractive guy: Du-ude, check that out!
Girl #2: Oooh. Yummy! (notices friend shamelessly ogling)
Girl #1: Elizabeth!! Put his clothes back on!
Yale University
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: You Can Take Mine Instead
Categories: Beauty | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Connecticut | Girls | Posted 2010-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only If They Don't Squeak
Student: Is it okay to wear leather trousers to a funeral?
Hull University
Hull
England
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Etiquette | Students | UK | Posted 2010-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's All, "This Party Smells Like Salami"
Party goer #1: That girl is wasted.
Party goer #2: Which one?
Party goer #1: The one with the blue shirt and lip ring.
Party goer #2: That's not a lip ring, she's got a piece of meat stuck to her face.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Tim
When Camel Toe Becomes Hammer Toe
Teacher: Pants so tight it could snap your vagina off!
Sex-Ed Class
Tampa, Florida
...And Clear High Heels
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About American Politics But Were Afraid to Ask
Guy #1: So I signed up for the Republican Club.
Guy #2: But you're not Republican, are you?
Guy #1: No, but this guy was wearing a shirt I really liked. I just want the shirt.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Clothing | Guys | Overheard at McGill | Politics | Stupidity | Posted 2010-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ones That Will Fit Over My Big-Boy Pull-Ups
Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Business in the Front and Party in the Back?
Girl waiting for bus: A skort is like a mullet for your ass.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Ass | Canadia | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Girls | Posted 2010-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Hoping for a Muppet Baby
Middle aged female client: You aren't going to find out the sex? How are you going to know what color to paint the nursery or what kind of baby clothes to get?
Pregnant 30-something hair stylist: Oh, please, like it matters what colors I choose. People aren't going to be wondering if it's a girl or a boy, anyway; they're going to wonder if it's an animal or a baby.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: jenc17
My Childhood Dream Is Finally Coming True!
Girl to friend: Like, oh my god! I just got mistaken for a sales clerk at freakin' Levi's!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: seastardodell
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Friends | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Washington | Posted 2010-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the Inventor Of Capri Pants
Girl in party: And then I said, "stop the car! I need to ask that midget where he got his pants!"
Connecticut
And Hides It under All the Ruffles
Woman, pointing to dress: That's nice and flowy. Not for me, but totally something Christine would wear.
Friend, indifferent: Oh yeah, Christine.
Woman: She throws up her food, though.
Friend, trailing off: Oh yeah, that's right.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Food | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Women | Posted 2009-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Word About V-Neck Tees and I Will Slit Your Throat
Girl #1: Hey, let's go to The Gap, they have short pants there.
Girl #2, pissed off: Shut the fuck up! I hate you.
Mall
Northern New Jersey
So Many Girls Are Fascists, but Don't Know It
Girl #1: My dream is to have a harem of guys that I can make dress up like the pale man from Pan's Labyrinth.
Girl #2: Why the hell would you do that?
Girl #1: Because it would be awesome and scary. I just want to see a bunch of people running away from me and my harem.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Fears | Girls | Massachusetts | Movies | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Kardashian Is Which? Show Your Work.
Girl #1: Oh my god! Look at the little toddler snowsuits!
Girl #2: Will one of you please get knocked up?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Girls | Kids | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Pregnancy | Posted 2009-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're That Guy Every Day.
Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that "jizzed in my pants" guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.
Gainesville, Florida
Your Editors Are Also Totally Gay for Fuzzy Unicorn Shirts
Teen girl #1: Are you doing it with her, too?
Teen girl #2: Yeah, I'm totally gay for Meg* and her fuzzy unicorn shirt.
Teen girl #3, laughing and choking: I'm not suppose to die choking! I'm the only one who knows CPR!
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Death & dying | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | Questions | Sex | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Here Comes Another One
Teen girl: This skirt is so short! My legs are freezing!
Teen boy: Mine are fine.
Teen girl: That's because of your intense orgasms.
Teen boy: True.
Starbucks
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Body parts | Clothes | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Orgasm | Teens | Vermont | Posted 2009-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So No One Will Even See Your Hooker Shoes
Mother to sixteen year-old in booty shorts and Uggs: You can be a geisha girl! It goes all the way down to the floor!
Halloween Store
New Jersey
...As This 45-Minute Presentation Will Demonstrate.
Physicist: Elise has a quantum ass. It's either big or real big. Depending on what pants she wears.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: change
Which Has Made Her Extremely Popular
Middle aged woman, casually to friend: And she hasn't worn pants to school since 7th grade.
Woodinville, Washington
Overheard by: The employee washing the window behind them
Though I Notice You Are Cultivating Quite an Impressive Beer-Gut
College girl #1, walking past maternity section: That's a cute dress.
College girl #2: Yeah, I don't have the boobs to wear it.
College girl #1: Oh, that's a cute one too!
College girl #2: You don't have the fetus to fill out that dress.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: m.
Especially When You're Black.
Manager: Pants off is the new black.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: fool
Categories: Bosses | Clothes | Clothing | Overheard in PDX | Race | Posted 2009-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Note to Self: Don't Try to Bond with Teenagers.
Teacher to girl: I like your shirt!
Girl: Oh, yeah, but it's from a show, so I'm not, like, just wearing a shirt... randomly or whatever.
Boulder, Colorado
Long Island Has Feminists?
Overbearing mother: Let her see you in the bra! She will make sure it fits correctly!
13-year-old girl, buying first bra: Mother, I'm not for sale!
Victoria's Secret
Long Island, New York
Why Undocumented Immigrant Surrogates Exist
Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?
Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas
And a Fun and Flirty One
Girl, returning from holidays in America: So yeah, I got put in actual jail.
Friend: For drinking on the beach?
Girl: Yup, got the orange jumpsuit and all.
Friend: Did you get to keep it?
Girl: I didn't like to ask, to be honest. Would've been a savage souvenir, though.
UCC Campus
Ireland
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Crimes | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Girls | Holidays | Ireland | Questions | Posted 2009-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the Inventor Of Coaster Pasties
Drunk teacher: Those aren't coasters, they're pasties. (holds them up to her breasts)
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Heather
Categories: California | Clothes | Clothing | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Rack | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, President Obama!
White hipster to others: I've noticed the black kids in Harlem are starting to wear skinny jeans and skateboard. It's great... 'cause it's, like, cool to be smart again.
Massachussetts
Like, One Containing a Central Venous Line
Middle-aged rich bitch on cell: I'll pay up to $300 for a hat I can't live without, you know?
Washington, DC
Categories: Biotechs | Clothes | Clothing | Money | On the phone | Shopping | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's for Him to Decide
New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!
Department Store
Melbourne
Australia
We Can Think Of Better.
Girl #1 to friends: Anybody can be a cell phone.
Girl #2: That's a good t-shirt.
Hampton, Virginia
Overheard by: S. H.
Um, That's a Water Bottle.
50-something female suit: That's a dog? I thought it was a kid in a weird hat!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: really?
I Thought the Baby Was Just a Really Small Twink
Guy: Are they gay?
Friend: Yes, they're holding hands and wearing the same clothing.
(15 seconds later)
Guy: Are they gay?
Girl: That's a family.
Hillcrest, California
Categories: California | Clothes | Clothing | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Guys | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2009-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why There Are So Many Homicides in Maryland
Guy: You know what I'm going to do? I'm bringing back the safari hat. Tomorrow I'm wearing a safari hat to work.
Girl: That's so Baltimore!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the hill
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Eavesdrop DC | Girls | Guys | Posted 2009-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wondered Why She Was So Hairy.
College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?
Fulton, Missouri
Overheard by: The Sweetheart
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Clothing | Comebacks | Family ties | Frat boy types | Missouri | Questions | Posted 2009-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Wonder I Keep Passing Out!
Girl in bathroom stall #1: I have really exciting news!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I've been trying to lose some weight.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's great! What size are they?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Ummm... 25s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's like a size zero. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Oh, is that too small or something?
Restaurant Bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Anorexics | Clothes | Clothing | Diet & weight | Girls | Massachusetts | Money | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Don't Want to Go on a Flight Without Warm Nuts
Man, taking seat in airport lounge: Wow, this is the first time I've worn pants since...
Woman with him: Since the last time we flew. Feels weird, doesn't it?
Airport Lounge
North Carolina
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothes | Clothing | Guys | North Carolina | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least They Own the Stereotype
Frat guy #1: So my mom bought me two new polos. One is blue with pink, and the other is orange and green. But I already have one that's orange and green.
Frat guy #2: Dude, I'll take it.
Frat guy #1: Nah, I think I'm gonna trade it to Duke for some pot.
Virginia Tech
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Frat boy types | Gifts | Parenting | Virginia | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once You Go Cowboy, You Get a Whole New Posse
Preteen girl #1, trying on cowboy hat: If I was a cowboy, would you be my friend?
Preteen girl #2: No.
Newburyport, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Massachusetts | Questions | Relationships | Tweens | Posted 2009-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Step: Getting Rid Of This Mullet
Woman #1, watching hobo in a dress: You know, I finally feel like I'm a metropolitan woman.
Woman #2: Why? Gotten used to the traffic, crowds, pollution and public transportation?
Woman #1: Well, yeah, but that's not why. See that guy in that dress over there? When I first came to the city, I would have been amused or shocked to see something like that. Now, my first reaction is: "Those shoes and socks don't go with that dress--and Macy's isn't that far away. Dude, go get some pumps!" I mean, how often do you think I would have thought to say "dude, go get some pumps" when I was still living in Ohio? I'm living the dream!
Financial District
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: And the jacket didn't match either
I Just Did His Horoscope
Conductor: Do not buy anything from the man in the yellow shirt and white tennis shoes. He will be arrested.
Subway
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Advice | California | Clothes | Clothing | Conductors | Crimes | Public Transportation | Train | Posted 2009-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And a Tranquilizer Rifle
Guy on cell: Don't expect it to be as great as the last time we were in Malibu, though. Unless you bring your funny hat.
The Coffee Bean
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Clothes | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Needs Watering, If You Follow Me
Woman on phone: As long as she can wear it without showing her lady garden, then that's fine by me.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | New Zealand | On the phone | Vagina | Women | Posted 2009-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Don't Tell Me to Burn Things! I Swear!
Customer: Hi, I'd like to return these pants.
Store manager: Can I ask why?
Customer: The pants talk.
Store manager: (...)
Customer, frantically: I mean, they pop! They pop!
Burnsville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I had to return a pair of talking pants once too
Meeting Kevin Sorbo Is Always an Experience
Guy to friend: So he asked "How's the leather work going?" So we went out and got some skins and string and made some loincloths.
Pierce County Annex
Tacoma, Washington
Being a Bank Teller Rocks!
Guy to woman sitting down: The really great thing is that you'll never have to wear pants again!
Portland, Oregon
Aren't You Wendy from Season One?
Barista #1: Yeah, Joey does a great Tim Gunn impression. You should ask him to do it for you.
Barista #2: I will. So you really like Project Runway?
Barista #1: Oh my god, yes! Like, I should totally be on that show.
Barista #2: Yeah? Do you do fashion design?
Barista #1: Well, no. But I dress myself really well. And I have really good ideas. But I can't really sew or anything.
Starbucks
Fairborn, Ohio
Overheard by: Barista #3
Categories: About celebrities | Baristas | Clothing | Fashion | Offers and requests | Ohio | Questions | TV shows | Posted 2009-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Christopher Walken Has a Fever Again
Man walking into coffee shop: I need some pantyhose, stat!
Muddy Waters Coffee Shop
Burlington, Vermont
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Clothing | Default | Guys | Offers and requests | Vermont | Words | Posted 2009-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Any Tattoos or Distinguishing Marks?
Dispatcher on police scanner: A subject was just robbed at gunpoint by a black male wearing no clothing.
Cop #1: Can we get a clothing description?
Cop #2, after silence: Just look for a naked man with a gun.
News Station
Jackson, Mississippi
Unless You're Prepared to Teach the Rest of Us to Plié
Construction worker #1, with southern drawl, on speakerphone: Yeah, then we all woke up wearing leotards. Looked like goddamn ballerinas.
Construction worker #2: I don't think I'd tell that story.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Advice | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Construction workers | Coworkers | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Posted 2008-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're the Most Boring Imaginary Friend Ever
Emo-poser teen girl: Does this make me look like I exist?
Teen guy (looking): No.
Pinnacle High School
Phoenix, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Clothing | Default | Girls | Guys | Philosophy | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teens | Posted 2008-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Out Shaking Her Balance Sheet on a Friday Night
Teen girl #1: Okay, okay, look at that girl over there.
Teen girl #2: Which one?
Teen girl #1: The one with the short skirt, revealing halter top, and cowboy boots--what do you think of her?
Teen girl #2: I don't know what you're asking.
Teen girl #3: What do you think she does for a living?
Teen girl #2: I don't know, she could be an accountant.
Steak 'n Shake
Springfield, Missouri
Categories: Clothing | Default | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Missouri | Questions | Restaurants | Teens | Posted 2008-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Being a Gentleman Has to Be Its Own Reward
Man: Excuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it's pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (annoyed): Excuse me! Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?!
Man: Fine then--walk around with your ass hanging out--see if I care.
Young woman (into her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just totally came up and told me that my ass is showing! (walks off with skirt still showing)
Airport
Sydney
Australia
This Suddenly Turned Into a Whole Different Kind Of Tournament
Girl on cell: I just took off my bra to make weight. Dignity? Gone.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Competition
Morristown, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Clothing | Default | Girls | New Jersey | Pride | Posted 2008-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Little You Wear Under It Is Up to You
Woman holding long sweater: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: What is this? Is this a dress?
Employee: It's one of those... long... sweaters...
H&M, Water Tower Place
Chicago, Illinois
The Lipstick Kind, at Least?
Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.
H&M
Chicago, Illinois
If You're Gonna Be Wrong, at Least Go Top-Shelf
Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: SP
What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren't you afraid your baby's going to fall out or something?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: what not to expect when you're expecting
It Doesn't Come Up Much, but a Rule Is a Rule
Student: Yeah... I don't really take advice from a kid wearing a winter hat indoors, drinking white grape juice out of a measuring cup.
SUNY Cortland
Cortland, New York
Categories: Advice | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | New York | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Daphne, Velma and the Gang Were Really Up to in That Van
Kid with lisp: Let's investigate some underwear!
Fairwood, Washington
Overheard by: that won't be in the children's section...
As Explained in Survival of the Tittiest
Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can't have small boobs. That's like impossible. It's, like, natural selection or something.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Nipples | Pregnancy | Science | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Not a Real Green Dress --That's Cruel
Girl on phone: I'll go on MySpace and look until I die for a picture of you in a ugly green dress!
Orlando Ale House
Orlando, Florida
Categories: Clothing | Florida | Girls | MySpace | On the phone | Restaurants | Threats | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Is Hard To Come Across Jeans Already Faded
Guy watching Macy's commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Geography | Guys | Names | Pop culture | Questions | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, for Some Reason, Makes Me All Tingly Inside
Woman #1: That's a wonderful coat.
Woman #2: I hope it stays cold long enough for me to enjoy it.
Woman #1: You know, you're really brave. I have a fur at home but I can't stop thinking about those crazy PETA people chasing me down with a van and hurting me.
Sidewalk in front of Grocery Store
Maryland
Oh Honey, a Sorority Girl Doesn't Need a Personality
Sorority girl #1: I should, like, just wear mini skirts all the time.
Sorority girl #2: Why?
Sorority girl #1: I have great legs, they're my best asset. [quiet pause] But I don't like my personality.
Dressing Room at Buffalo Exchange
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Yes! She just redeemed herself
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Sorority types | Texas | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
2008: Microsoft Pilots MS Office Assistant, "Buzzy the Dildo"
Guy: You know when you do a "Find File" in Windows? Yeah. I want to kill the little animated dog... It bothers me.
Girl: Hahaha... Yeah. It's better than the paperclip.
Guy: Meh... Only because he doesn't pop up unexpectedly. Clippy was kind of cool if he weren't in the way.
Girl: Thats what he wants you to think! He makes you feel bad for hating him!
Guy: Why this makes me want to have an animated kitten running around my desktop, I don't know. I used to have such a program.
Girl: I had a stripper on my laptop. She danced and stripped whenever music came on.
Guy: You're such a closet nympho.
Girl: Yeah. For my dreams class, we have to write all our dreams down and share them with the class. Last night I dreamt I was trekking through a jungle in gold prada heels to find my doctor to get an HIV test. I'm not sure I want the class psychoanalyzing that one.
Portland, Maine
Then Turn Them into a Headband for Church
Ghetto woman #1: Oooh, I like them shorts.
Ghetto woman #2: I know, girl. My buttcheeks hang all out in them. I'm going to wear them to the club and find me a good man.
Wet Seal
Bradenton, Florida
Overheard by: Rae Crider
Categories: Black people | Bragging | Clothing | Compliments | Default | Florida | Women | Posted 2008-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Stand Out from Your Husband's Other Wives
Mother: That dress is cheap -- cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother's freezer.
Daughter: It's prom. You're supposed to look cheap.
Salt Lake City, Utah
I Expect to Awaken Tomorrow Nauseated, Infected
Tipsy girl: You know what type of night it is? I'm wearing a leopard-print dress and leggings! It's that type of night!
Shout-out: www.overheardatlc.blogspot.com
One Day He Will Write Lyrics for Christina Aguilera
Dad in locker room, to son: Jake, take your pants off.
Five-year-old son, singing: Take your pants off, do the ducky-ducky.
Dad: Jake!
Five-year-old son: Take your pants off, do the something-something.
Newport Athletic Club
Middletown, Rhode Island
Feared I Might Inadvertently Become a Lesbian
Girl #1: I know for a fact this year is going to be way better than last year.
Girl #2: Why's that?
Girl #1: Because this year I actually have designer clothes. Last year I didn?t have any, and I was so unhappy!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Canadia | Clothing | Compliments | Default | Girls | Idiots | Overheard at McGill | Students | Posted 2008-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The True Test of Whether You Should Be Wearing Skinny Jeans
Hipster girl: Ugh, I had, like, the worst day yesterday. I was skipping on the quad, and I ripped my skinny jeans.
Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York
I'm Sorry, Miss, but His Holiness Can't Take Your Call
Excited girl on cell: So, I'm sorry to wake you, but do you still wear those crazy socks? Or do you only wear white ones?
K-Mart
North Carolina
Categories: Clothing | North Carolina | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2008-02-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Are You Banging Your Head on That Counter?
Disappointed wife: Hi. I'd like to exchange these really nice-colored dress shirts for these really boring dress shirts. I had my husband try on the lilac, and it looked great. He said he would never wear it because it made him look gay. I said, 'First of all, you'll never be attractive enough to pass for a gay man...!'
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Express Customer
Categories: Clothing | Gripes | Massachusetts | Women | Posted 2008-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Reams of Fun
Guy: My idea of fun is wearing a paper skirt!
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shy invisible girl
Categories: California | Clothing | Guys | Happiness | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And They'll Feel Comfortable in Me
20-ish girl: I suppose, but only if I can dress like a whore. That way, I'll feel comfortable in my surroundings.
Disney World
Florida
You Can Wear It with the John Lovitz Flats
Woman modeling outfit from fitting room: What do you think?
Husband: That outfit makes you look like Garry Shandling!
Ann Taylor, Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: lauren
And I'm Sorry, Okay?
Conductor over loudspeaker: Diana, I have your clothes... Diana, the head conductor has your clothes.
MBTA Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Clothing | Conductors | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Hallucinations Need Veterinary Care
Hobo holding up stuffed glove: ... And now the mitten is having babies... And the liquid is starting to come out...
Ashland, Oregon
Overheard by: Karrie
It's Like Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boob!
College girl: My bra -- it's, like, magical! It mysteriously unclips itself throughout the day!
Fairfield University
Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: GladMyBraIsntMagical..
Categories: Bimbettes | Clothing | Connecticut | Magic | Posted 2007-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Still Tasting Yesterday's
Crazy bag lady: Can I have that shirt? I'm all dirty and nasty.
Young guy: No, I need this for work.
Crazy bag lady: Oh. Can I shit in your mouth?
Young guy: Um, no.
Washington, DC
Categories: Bag ladies | Clothing | Poop | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Perfect for Showcasing Your Upper-Arm Bruises
Little girl: What do you think, Mommy?
Overenthusiastic mom: That's a cute little wife beater!
Target
Fayetteville, Arizona
Overheard by: D00M5D4YCH1CK3N
What Did You Expect Your Dentist to Do?
Hoochie: I strategically wore a skirt and he didn't even try anything!
West Campus
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Molly
Also Why the Germans Lost Two Wars
Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don't have pockets.
San Jose Airport
California
Overheard by: Keren
Categories: Airports & flights | California | Clothing | Suits | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When It's Really More of a Truce
Lady: Damn! This dress done makes me look like I gave up on life!
Dressing room
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Ursulav
Categories: Clothing | North Carolina | Rednecks | Posted 2007-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Good, because That's What I'm Getting Him
Old lady: You know how it's Jake's* birthday in a week or two? And you know how he likes black leather?
20-ish granddaughter, whispering: Grandma! You're making him sound like a homosexual!
Old lady: Well, it's not like I'm going to get him assless chaps.
Eagle Ridge Hospital
Coquitlam, Bristish Columbia
Canadia
And That Had Velcro Closures
Mom: Did you see how that girl was pulling that young man across the street? Maybe he was blind.
Daughter: I saw how she was dressed -- he wasn't blind. If he was blind she wouldn't be dressing so slutty. If I dated a blind guy I would wear clothes that were soft.
Louisville, Kentucky
The Back Half
Man on cell: Hang on, I'm coming with half of my pants!
Metro
Washington, DC
Categories: Clothing | On the phone | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Pearl Jam
Girl #1: Lumberjacks wear flannel.
Girl #2: And junkies.
I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks
Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.
Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood
Categories: California | Clothing | Fashion | Kids | Moms | North America | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or at Least Pull Up Your Underwear
Airport PA: Will the man with his pants around his ankles please return to Security and retrieve your belt?
Chicago Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothing | Employees | Illinois | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Undeserved Sympathy Is Better Than Being Ignored
Girl: I like wearing this hat because it makes me look like a cancer patient.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: wb
Categories: Chicks | Clothing | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Work So Hard All Week
Devout chick: Oh my god, I know! I never wear bras on Sundays!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: katrina
Categories: Chicks | Clothing | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Been in and Out of Fashion Prison My Whole Life
20-ish woman: He wears cut-offs that are cut so high that you can see the pockets and his boxers poking out, and he has plumber's crack.
Teen chick: Oh my god... And your mom actually likes this guy?
20-ish woman: No, no, no -- this is my real dad.
Mountain View-bound Light Rail
Campbell, California
Overheard by: Cracker
Categories: California | Clothing | Friends | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because That Would Narrow It Down
Drunk boy: I can't find her! I don't know where she is!
Drunk girl: Is she wearing clothes?
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Drunks | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Rare Spotting of the Tufted Gay Hobo
Hobo: Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?
Suit: Sure. Here you go.
Hobo: Thanks. [Calling after suit] I like your outfit!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Clothing | Compliments | Hobos | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I May Have Buttered My Ass and Come As a Parker House Roll
Chick: Do I know you from somewhere?
Dude: Uh... maybe?
Chick: Didn't you come to my Halloween party dressed as the Pillsbury Doughboy?
Dude: No.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Clothing | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Students | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
