Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

And Was Forced to Read the Congressional Record

Girl: Do you know what a pearl necklace is?
Woman: I didn't learn about any of that shit until I worked on the Senate floor.

Kokomo's
Linglestown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: M.J.M.

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Which Was "No Upper-Body Strength"

Female student #1: Eeew, she has a rolling backpack, you know what that means...
Female student #2: Whore?
Female student #1: Absolutely not what I was going to say.

San Francisco, California

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Couldn't You Just Ask for the Air-speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

Bouncer: I don't know... Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don't your shoes match your skirt?

London, Ontario
Canadia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And You're Hoochie-Skipper.

20-something in pink heels, on a Saturday afternoon: God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

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I'm... Black?

Traffic cop: She said, "Do you like it?" and I was like, "Yeah, it looks really nice." And then she said, "Is it subtle?" and I was like "Jenny*, you're a black woman with orange and yellow hair!"

Plymouth, Michigan

Overheard by: Morgz

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Ever Seen a Cooch Do Three Snaps in Z-Formation?

Girl: Ryan, if you had a vagina, what would she wear?
Boy: She? What if I had a male vagina?
Boy #2: Oh, he would be so sassy!

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Livi

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That's the Fountain on the Right

Loud guy in restaurant: So, we were out shopping and there were all these women in burkas taking pictures of each other. How fucking pointless is that? It's not like they're going to look back afterwards and go, 'Oh, look, there's Doris by the fountain!'

England

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Is That a Lip-Liner and EpiPen in One?

Hottie: Here ya go -- put this in your man-purse for me, please.
Indie boyfriend, indignantly: It's not a man-purse! It's a medical evac bag!
Hottie: Okay. You got any bandages or sterile alcohol in there?
Indie boyfriend: ... No.
Hottie: Yeah, right -- it's a man-purse. [Guy sullenly puts item in bag.]

Target, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Kentucky

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Answer Was Both Better and Worse Than They Anticipated

Coworker #1: I don't even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don't, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.

Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: also interested

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And She Washes and Folds My Spiderman Underwear

Dude: It's not that I live with my mom, it's that my mom is my roommate...

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: Sarah

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There's Nothing You Can Do to Rehabilitate Its Coolness

Hipster girl pointing at piece of art: So, do you want to get it?
Hipster guy: Nah, we'll get it somewhere else. I hate when people ask you, 'Where did you get that?' and you're like, 'Ikea...'

Ikea
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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You're Both Right!

Preppy girl #1: Wow, now we all have the same necklace! We should all wear them the next time we go out!
Preppy girl #2: Yeah! We'd be like the Power Rangers or something!
Preppy girl #3: Or we'd be like douchebags.

Eastern Market
Washington, DC

Overheard by: office peon does d.c.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Someone Who Can Afford Better Than Macy's

Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay... What's a hooker?

Macy's, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland

Overheard by: jd

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All You Ladies Need to Do Is Dab Some Beer behind Your Ears and You're Set

Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn't get you sex. All the men aren't going to be like, 'Oooh, Prada bag!'

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

She's Bringin' "Rakish" Back

Chick: I'd worship Jesus if he had a rakish and amusing hat.

High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

You Know I'm Allergic

Chick #1: Look, I'm wearing orange!
Chick #2: Fuck you! You just did that to piss me off, didn't you?!
Chick #1: Yeah...

Downers Grove, Illinois

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or Just Use Them to Lash Insolent Tourists?

Bimbette tourist: Oh, right, yeah -- I need to find some belts. Do Chinese people wear belts?

Hong Kong, China

Overheard by: Kim

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And I'm Already Tired of It

Hyper girl pulling out lots of different colored bracelets: I need to change my mood!
Friend: What's your mood, Dana?
Hyper girl: I don't know! I'm changing it!

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by:

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Think They Could Add a Nice Lace Ruffle?

Chick #1 exiting bathroom stall: I can't believe I'm getting my gun tomorrow.
Chick #2: Yeah... Too bad they can't put color in it. It's going to be pretty ugly.
Chick #1: It's a gun.
Chick #2: Doesn't mean it has to be ugly.
Chick #1: Yeah, it would be cool in purple.

Grand Junction, Colorado

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Then I'll Definitely Get the Role of Midwestern Tourist #1

Lady to hubby: So, I've finally decided: for my interviews I'm not gonna get a new purse. I'm just gonna get a really nice fanny pack.

Pacifica, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And Pearl Jam

Girl #1: Lumberjacks wear flannel.
Girl #2: And junkies.

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy

Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!

Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks

Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.

Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And What Are We? Posers!

Mom: That's Hollister. Remember what I told you about Hollister?
Toddler girl: Hollister.
Mom: Hollister is for po-sers.
Toddler girl: Posers.
Mom: Po-sers.
Toddler girl, giggling excitedly: Posers!

Garden State Plaza
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sar

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

That, and the Jar of Lube He Keeps Waving Around

Queer: Oh my god, did you see Andy in that hat?
Fag hag: Yeah!
Queer: Doesn't he know that a cowboy hat that big is an unequivocal call for anal sex?

New Haven, Connecticut

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Well, You'll Be Ready Next Time

Freshman girl #1: I met a boy in a kilt on Friday. I wish I would have had sex with him.
Freshman girl #2: Yeah, kilts are hot.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: sorostitute

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They Couldn't

Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men -- we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: maria

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Without Them, Donald Duck's Too Creepy to Be a Role Model

Guy: Once you've seen him in his underwear you want to be just like him.

Huber's restaurant
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: rich

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Are These Not the Hottest Slippers Ever?

Girl: I'm like Mister Rogers -- I change my style twice a day.

Farragut North Metro
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?