Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Topics

And Now the Judge Says I Can't Babysit There?

Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!

The Melting Pot
New Jersey

Overheard by: supersecret!

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Joey Tribbiani As a Kid

Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?

Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado

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I Want the Human Race to Pack This Planet Like a Sausage

English professor: Just think of all the eggs that are wasted every time a woman doesn't get pregnant... That's what I do.

Montevallo, Alabama

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Like Travel Boggle!

Tall blonde: That's just cause you're short... No, don't worry! You're adorably short. You're small and compact for my convenience.
Short brunette: I'm fun-sized!

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: in the spirit of Halloween

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Don't Worry --It Was Completely Consensual

Adult woman to girlfriend's six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know... Boys.

South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky

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Let's Hope English Isn't Her First Language and Move On

Old lady speaking to granddaughter: What exactly is a handjob?

Huddersfield
England

Overheard by: your how old and you don't know what?

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Yeah, and I'm Not Sure He Has an Exit Strategy

Little girl: Where's Ben*?
Father: He's in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!

Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL

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But I Think We All Know What Happened with Monica and That Cigar

African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.

Kalamazoo, Mississippi

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I'd Love to See That Resume

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is "Salad tosser"?

Arby's Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

He's Been Disgruntled Ever Since Discovering I'm a Bottom.

Fat guy: Sorry I'm late. Mr. Sphincter isn't being very co-operative today.

Nova Cafe
Dunedin
New Zealand

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But It Was a Planned Incarceration

Obese John Wayne wannabe: I can't believe we are not hanging out tonight.
Gap tooth hootchie: I told you I made plans with my friends a month ago!
Obese John Wayne wannabe: Well you're supposed to be hanging out with me. We never hang out anymore and we are boyfriend and girlfriend!
Gap tooth hootchie: We were supposed to hang out this past Saturday and Sunday but we didn't! You were not fucking there.
Obese John Wayne wannabe: I had a change of plans!
Gap tooth hootchie: Change of plans?! Muthafucker you were in jail!

Bus
Iowa State University, Iowa

Overheard by: Casey

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A+

Male art student in response to female art student's sculpture: It's really kind of mortifyingly vaginal.

Allegheny College
Meadville Pennsylvania

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As My Plaques and Trophies Will Attest

Dude carrying Subway sandwich: My ass? No, I wouldn't expect a girl to be looking at my ass.
Chick carrying Subway sandwich: Oh yeah. Women will look at your ass. But they can't check out the other thing.
Dude: Well, under certain circumstances . . .
Chick: No, there's nothing equivalent. There's no cleavage shot.
Dude: A girl slapped my ass at the gym the other day.
Chick: Oh yeah. That's right. I have slapped lots of asses.

Howard and New Montgomery
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Cleavage Shots All Around!

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

If You Have a Very Liberal Definition of "Okay"

Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said 'No' so it's okay.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Justin

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'm Not Saying Your Assessment of Thomas Jefferson Is Wrong...

Student: Maybe he's gay for the snake.
Teacher: Did you just say "gay for the snake"?!

Pleasantville High School
Pleasantville, New York

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90% of the Time, Your Kids Won't Even Appreciate Your Brilliance

Small child, pointing to an "eat pussy" graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It's a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

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And She Washes and Folds My Spiderman Underwear

Dude: It's not that I live with my mom, it's that my mom is my roommate...

Salem, Oregon

Overheard by: Sarah

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And Their Legs Are So Open That Babies Fall Out

Professor: Some people's minds are so open that their brains fall out.

University of St. Thomas
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: AnnArrogance

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Or Kinderjail

Biotech #1: They really need kennels for children.
Biotech #2: It's called school.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

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By the Way, Sorry about Scaring Your Daughter Like That

Bathroom-bound tech woman: Are you following me? Not that many people follow me at my age.
Tech guy: No. I'm more of the 'call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house' kind of guy.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: 2catchapredator

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Largely Involving Your Vagina

Angry girl: I don't want any sluts at my table!
Friend, calmly: Well, I guess I should move, then.
Angry girl: You're not a slut. You just make... odd choices.

Tennessee

Overheard by: Vastly Amused

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?