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And Was Forced to Read the Congressional Record
Girl: Do you know what a pearl necklace is?
Woman: I didn't learn about any of that shit until I worked on the Senate floor.
Kokomo's
Linglestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: M.J.M.
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Fashion | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Pennsylvania | Questions | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh Yeah, You'd Like Me to Pour You on My Meat
Guy to friend: My hot sauce packet is talking dirty to me.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Josh
So I'm Sorry I Did That, Amber
English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it's true.
Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Insults | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Old Mom Cop/Dad Cop Routine
Mother to son, after chatting with woman: I'm always extra nice to her because your father can't stand her.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Dentist
How You Know This Wasn't Overheard in New York
Red-faced man, shouting furiously into cell: Now you listen to me you... (sees small children nearby) pluck-arsed parrot.
Gouger Street, Adelaide, South Australia
Then I Realized It Was Just a Wellesley Student
Loud guy on street corner: And over there is where I saw my first hooker!
Tremont and Boylston
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I heard him from -inside- a car
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Guys | Massachusetts | Memory lane | Sexuality | Posted 2008-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Don't, Try the Cafeteria's Amphetameatloaf
History teacher (hanging up posters with spray adhesive): If ya'll get high from this, you're welcome.
High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: thank you!
Categories: Default | Drugs | Education | Etiquette | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | South Carolina | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Always Wanted to Be a Fascist
TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.
Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis
And Now the Judge Says I Can't Babysit There?
Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!
The Melting Pot
New Jersey
Overheard by: supersecret!
Categories: Etiquette | Euphemisms | Girls | New Jersey | Restaurants | Students | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Technique's Right Out Of The Shaolin Cookbook
Girl on bus: So, I'm like: "Bitch, you can't question my big fork usage!"
99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia
Can You Prove That's Where They Are?
20-something girl to another: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you weren't privy to the thoughts that are in my head.
Bathroom, Second City Comedy Club
Chicago, Illinois
Ever Wonder What Happens to the Child Actors on SVU?
Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you're not supposed to say...
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That's a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.
Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: M
Next Time Put the Message in a Bottle
Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there's people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?
Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: How did it get there?
Did You Know You Have No Lubrication Back There?
Girl: Sorry about the chafing. My butt still hurts when I poo.
Boy: [Makes sad face.]
Girl: From your surprise. I don't like your surprises.
Boy: It surprised me too!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Poop | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Will's Parents Sent Him to His Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air
Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know...
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That's what we do all day, every day.
Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: andromeda
Categories: Default | Etiquette | Friends | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Poop | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Words | Posted 2008-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Day James Stopped Doing Positive Affirmations
20-something guy: My testicles are perfect!
Friends: [Silence.]
50-something lady walking past: [Snicker.]
Cork
Ireland
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Balls | Compliments | Default | Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Pride | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Slept with Him in Chinese?
[Chinese girls whispering.]
Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn't come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!
Bus
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Asians | Bus | Etiquette | Friends | Girls | Illinois | Language barrier | Offers and requests | Questions | Sex | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Poopyheads Have Already Exhausted Their Five Minutes of Fame
College girl: There, I've belittled and insulted The View without using the word "bitch" or the c-word.
Student Center, Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: ...and that itself is a feat
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Etiquette | Insults | New Jersey | Pride | Sorority types | TV shows | Words | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Don't Even Get Me Started on This Banana Lamp
[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]
Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!
Gothenburg
Sweden
Overheard by: Donny Boots
Categories: Clothes | Etiquette | Girls | Masturbation | Sensory experiences | Stores | Sweden | Toys | Vagina | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Drugging Miss Daisy
Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom to shoot up.
Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Drugs | Etiquette | Ladies who lunch | Maryland | Restaurants | Weirdness | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Thanks for Letting Me Into Yale
Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn't help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.
Bar
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Etiquette | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | Maladies | Missouri | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When I Have My Period, I Get a Mop
Chick: No, if I take a shit I get the dish soap.
Guy: [nods understandingly].
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Poop | Washington, DC | Words | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jesus Was to Vex Mary His Entire Life
Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there's people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Education | Etiquette | Kids | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Public Transportation | Train | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald's. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]
Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald's
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Coworkers | Crazies | Customers | Death & dying | Etiquette | Food | Hobos | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Questions | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Whose Funeral Was I Just Attending?
70-something woman to 80-something woman: Oh hello, so you're still alive?!
Wloclawek
Poland
Overheard by: renia
Categories: Age and ageing | Death & dying | Etiquette | Old folks | Poland | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Are These Khakis on Sale?
Retail lady: He fucked me really hard last night. When I woke up all this liquid came out.
Banana Republic
Orange County, California
You Really Do Get a Little Something Extra at the Ivies
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that...
English professor: Isn't "Balls!" such a great expression? It's just so... you know... I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting "Balls!" at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that...
English professor: Balls!
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
I Appreciate Your Candor
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain't gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Categories: Bragging | California | Compliments | Etiquette | Offers and requests | Penis | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Thugs | Words | Posted 2008-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Don't Begin the Conversations with "I'm Naked and Wet"
Woman on cell: I just asked how's he doing and he actually told me that he's getting hard just talking to me. [Pause.] Well, what do you think I would say? "Oh ,that's nice"!? Hell no! I said: "Oh crap! Sorry, I have another call, gotta go". Yeah, that was definitely odd. Remind me never to be nice and try calling my exes again.
Florida
Categories: Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Feelings | Florida | Offers and requests | On the phone | Penis | Relationships | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did That Come Out Of Me?
Woman in bathroom stall, on cell : ... That's just how it is... No, that's my pee you're hearing... Anyways, what did she say? Wait a second, I have to wipe...
Spokane Airport
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: wish i had held it...
Categories: Airports & flights | Etiquette | On the phone | Pee | Sensory experiences | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Difficult Not to Violate One's Parole in Pennsylvania
Guy on train: It's a stone edifice! You can't wear a t-shirt in a stone edifice!
Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
Categories: Clothes | Etiquette | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Train | Posted 2008-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Americans Have Always Been More Interested in Style Than in Content
British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn't have been more than eight, say "bitches and hoes."
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: ... No.
University of San Diego
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Education | Etiquette | Foreigners | Insults | Kids | Offers and requests | Students | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Button Up Your Pants, Sweetie
Little girl: I love you, pole.
[She kisses the pole.]
Father: Don't kiss the pole! Keep it rated G!
Outside a Dim Sum Shop
Alameda, California
Categories: Advice | California | Dads | Etiquette | Girls | Kids | Kids | Movies | Restaurants | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Carlos Beltran: I Hate Being an Outfielder
Female Mets fan: I'd let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.
Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York
Overheard by: aaron
Non-Fucking Whorehouses Are Pretty Much Libraries
Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I'm in a fucking whorehouse.
Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Categories: Bragging | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Etiquette | Pride | Teachers | Virginia | Women | Words | Posted 2008-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.
[Line for ladies' room]
Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It's urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]
Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh...[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Categories: Australia | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Etiquette | Gender issues | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Restroom | STDs | Threats | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks Sweetie, But That Was the Bedpost
Overexposed springbreaker: Well, since it was a communal dildo, I thought I would be considerate and clean it off.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Ew!
Categories: Cleanliness | Etiquette | Florida | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Toys | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, the Naked Guy in the Back --Question?
Professor: If you want to get drunk and run around your house naked in your free time that's your own business, but you're not going to do that at work when you're in public.
Metropolitan State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Advice |