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The San Francisco Equivalent of a Nice Dinner and Jewelry
Angry suit on cell: I cleaned out my ass for you, bitch!
On the Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: Ass | California | Cleanliness | Health & Hygiene | Insults | On the phone | Sexuality | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dear Martha Stewart...
Frustrated waitress: There's not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!
Rudyard's
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Hales
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Cleanliness | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | Servers | Sexuality | Texas | Women | Posted 2008-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.
[Line for ladies' room]
Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It's urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]
Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh...[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Categories: Australia | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Etiquette | Gender issues | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Restroom | STDs | Threats | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks Sweetie, But That Was the Bedpost
Overexposed springbreaker: Well, since it was a communal dildo, I thought I would be considerate and clean it off.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Ew!
Categories: Cleanliness | Etiquette | Florida | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Toys | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When I Think about You, I Smell Myself
Dirty hippy skater dude: Oh man! I can smell myself.
Dirty hippy skater girl: I love it when I can smell myself!
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Categories: Cleanliness | Etiquette | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Hippies | Pride | San Francisco | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since My Lime Green Mumu Failed to Get Their Attention
Flea market lady: I don't see the big deal about sanitation these days.
Older flea market lady: I know. The other day at work I dropped a cookie on the floor, then picked it up and ate it. You know, just to see what people would do.
Flea Market
Burley Park, Michigan
Overheard by: Amanda
Categories: Cleanliness | Food | Friends | Grumpies | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | Stores | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even We Winced at This One
Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes...
Man #2: Oh, dude, I'm gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn't mine, dude.
Gym
Oregon
...You're My Mom and I'll Always Love You.
Guy talking too loudly on cell phone: Honestly, if you took a dump and smeared it all over my chest, you know, in my face and all that, I?d be fine. Actually I might not, thats pretty extreme, but you know...
Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Body parts | Cleanliness | Default | Etiquette | Feelings | Guys | On the phone | Overheard at UMBC | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the New FBI Thriller Silence Of the Shams
Girl #1: You can't just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!
Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: isa
Categories: Body parts | Cleanliness | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Minnesota | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Sexuality | Sorority types | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why "How Are You?" Can Be a Dangerous Question
Dude: I've been soiling myself for four days playing Guitar Hero.
Drake University
Des Moines, Iowa
Categories: Cleanliness | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gadgets | Idiots | Iowa | Posted 2008-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Think I Would Fail His Class?
Asian hipster: People stare at him, and he resents them for staring at him. But I'm like, 'Maybe you should bathe!'
Jewish hipster: You should give him an elephant tranquilizer or something.
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Glowien
Categories: Advice | Cleanliness | Hipsters | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Toes? What Are You, Gay?
Guy #1: You gotta clean yo' fingernails up!
Guy #2: Mmm-hm.
Guy #1: You stop smokin' crack, you clean yo' toes up nice, too!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Cleanliness | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's the Point, If We Can't Break Stuff?
Four-year-old ballerina #1: I need to ask my mom.
Four-year-old ballerina #2: That's good, because my house is crap.
Pre-ballerina: Well, it's not crap -- we just have a lot of crap in it.
Four-year-old ballerina #1: Can I come over to your place and play?
Dance studio
Maryland
Categories: Cleanliness | Kids | Maryland | Posted 2007-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And It's Scalding -- That Can't Be a Good Sign
Big black lady spilling drink on herself: Oops, I done baptized myself.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Cleanliness | Georgia | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Guy Who Went As a Hedgehog Had It Even Worse
Party host: Man, it took me three weeks to clean the gorilla suit after the wedding...
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Paul
Categories: Cleanliness | Guys | Michigan | Posted 2007-11-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Use the Other End
Drunk hetero: You're gay, he's gay, so what's the problem?
Drunk queer: He just threw up all over himself.
Drunk hetero: You take what you can get.
The White Front Bar
Philipsburg, Montana
Categories: Cleanliness | Drunks | Montana | Posted 2007-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like a Rest Stop on the Jersey Turnpike
Excited girl exiting bathroom: That toilet smells like America!
The Angel Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: Nics
Categories: Chicks | Cleanliness | England | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mission: Impossible III Is Quite a Disappointment
Man: That was the most secure Mexican bathroom I've ever seen.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: didn't bother to find out
Categories: Cleanliness | Guys | San Francisco | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
