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It Can't Be Worse Than That Burger, Right?

Hostess: Hope you all enjoyed your meal tonight!
Woman customer: It was horrible!
Hostess: Okay, well, have a good night!

American Cafe
Atlanta, Georgia


Overheard by: Emily


Categories: Character | Etiquette | Feelings | Food | Georgia | Women | Posted 2011-08-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Sad Thing Is, Not Everyone Thinks You're Crazy.

Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.

Alabama


Categories: Alabama | Character | Feelings | Girls | Pop culture | Posted 2011-08-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Allison Took Silver at the Entitlement Olympics

Flight attendant to woman putting luggage in the only overhead compartment left: Ma'am, if you put your luggage there, but go way up front, when the plane lands, you'll have to wait to deplane until everyone else has because you can't go back here if you're up front when people are trying to exit the plane.
Woman: But this is my only option!
Flight attendant: You could sit in the back.
Woman: No!

Allegiant Airline
Ft. Wayne, Indiana


Overheard by: ISPgypsy


Categories: Character | Holidays | Indiana | Wishes | Women | Posted 2011-08-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

In Canadia, That's Like Being the Youngest Person in the Nursing Home.

Skinny guy with pink hair: I don't think I could be any more bad-ass.

Ottawa
Canadia


Categories: Bragging | Canadia | Character | Compliments | Guys | Posted 2011-07-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Where Canadian Bacon Comes From?

60-something man, watching obese woman board bus, loudly: So fat!
30-something woman, quietly: Yeah, sometimes it might be genetics or something. Not just cured by exercise, you know?
60-something man, loudly: I try to avoid getting too close to people who are that fat. I'm scared they'll just explode and innards will get all over me!
30-something woman: (disgusted look)

London
Canadia


Overheard by: On the bus


Categories: Canadia | Character | Diet & weight | Feelings | Guys | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-07-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Bella Has Yet to Date Anyone Who Meets Her Father's Approval

Guy on phone: Hold on a minute, I just have to cut something off my daughter...

Jersey City, New Jersey


Categories: Character | Guys | New Jersey | On the phone | Parenting | Relationships | Posted 2011-07-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...The Prince Of Dullness

Wife to husband who has been chatting with stranger: Who was that?
Husband: Remember those Dos Equis commercials with the most interesting man in the world?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: That was his antithesis.

Northern Michigan

Overheard by: Kaptain Equinox


Categories: Character | Couples | Memory lane | Michigan | Questions | Posted 2011-07-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Women Sure Know How to Dick Around.

Woman #1, standing over large dropped box on floor: Ugh, I dropped it.
Woman #2: That's it! Straddle it, you'll get it.
Woman #1: I can never get it up.

Target
North Charleston, South Carolina


Overheard by: Chris M


Categories: Advice | Character | South Carolina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-07-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

To Be Fair, Dina Lohan Created Lindsay.

Girl on phone: Hi, mom, sorry I didn't call you back... I was busy having sex.

Melbourne
Australia


Categories: Australia | Character | Family ties | Girls | On the phone | Sex | Posted 2011-07-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Bipolar Women Can Be Highly Entertaining Life Partners

Girl on phone: All right, bye. I love you sometimes.

Durham, North Carolina


Categories: Character | Compliments | Girls | North Carolina | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2011-06-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Library? Nooooo!

Woman on cell: I'm at the library because I'm so fucking pissed off at you!

Library Parking Lot
Tampa, Florida


Overheard by: ISPgypsy


Categories: Character | Feelings | Florida | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-06-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

How Schoolhouse Rock Was Born

Girl: I feel rather drunk at this conjuncture!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire


Categories: Character | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Girls | Illinois | Posted 2011-06-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

"The Literature Of Drug Prescriptions" Was a Popular Course at UMass

Guy: I can't tell if he's being poetically ambiguous or if he just has really bad handwriting.

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts


Overheard by: Beth


Categories: Character | Compliments | Guys | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-06-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Was College Ever About Learning?

Lecturer, about exam questions: I mislead you on purpose. I have to get some sense of perverse pleasure out of designing these questions. I sit at home going "aahahahahahaa!" (rubs hands gleefully)

Irish Culture Lecture
University of Zurich
Switzerland


Categories: Character | Education | Europe | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just When You Thought Comic Book Guy Didn't Exist in Real Life...

Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? "I'm the best even though I'm fat"?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Categories: Beauty | Character | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The New Children's Book That's Sweeping the Nation

Young 20-some male to another: Any friend that tells you not to smoke crack isn't a friend.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Travis N.


Categories: Character | Drugs | Guys | Nevada | Philosophy | Posted 2011-06-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now I Just Need to Wring the Vomit Out Of My Shirt, and We Can Go Again

Girl getting off Supreme Scream, to no one in particular: I did it! (lowers voice) And I didn't pee!

Knott's Berry Farm
California


Categories: California | Character | Feelings | Girls | Pee | Posted 2011-06-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Now Everyone Calls Him "The Puree Papa"

Student: Because my dad didn't consider mac and cheese or ground beef as food that you could chew.

Biola University
La Mirada, California


Overheard by: lydia parsons


Categories: California | Character | Family ties | Food | Students | Posted 2011-06-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

While Wearing Dark Sunglasses!

Yuppie wife to yuppie husband: Yeah, he was so cool he started fucking other people.

Ottawa
Canadia


Overheard by: o'grady


Categories: Canadia | Character | Gossip | Sex | Yuppies | Posted 2011-06-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Little Madalyn Murray O'Hair Was Quite the Handful

Little girl, running by: She's going to church, I have to stop her!

Lawrence Farms Orchards
New York


Overheard by: MissPinkKate


Categories: Character | Christianity | Kids | New York | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Smell a TV Reality Competition!

Girl to friend: The only way that guy's getting into my pants is if he's a cross-dresser.

Bar
Farmington
Michigan


Overheard by: PeterG


Categories: Character | Girls | Michigan | Philosophy | Sex | Posted 2011-06-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Like Me Ignoring That Stop Sign!

Policeman, pulling over drunk guy on bike: License and registration, please.
Drunk guy: I'm on a bike!
Policeman: Sorry, force of habit.

Jefferson City, Missouri

Overheard by: BartMan


Categories: Character | Cops | Crimes | Drunks | Missouri | Stupidity | Posted 2011-05-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Little Lady Gaga Ended Up Proving Them Both Wrong.

Concerned mom: She's either going to grow up to be an assassin or a serial killer.
Concerned guy: What are the parents like?
Concerned mom: Quiet and normal.
Concerned guy: They always are.

Raleigh, North Carolina


Categories: Character | Gossip | Guys | Moms | North Carolina | Questions | Posted 2011-05-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Americans Mistakenly Believe Silence Can Be Improved Upon

Russian girl: When I read in Russian, nothing can stop me. But when I read in English, I need silence.
American girl: That's what the music is for!

Train
Moscow to Nizhniy Novgorod
Russia


Overheard by: Adam Nathan


Categories: Books | Character | Girls | Language barrier | Music | Strangers | Train | Posted 2011-05-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Her Favorite Country Is Switzerland.

Spray-haired Long Island housewife #1: Beige is my favorite shade...
Spray-haired Long Island housewife #2, interrupting: Oh my gawd, the neutrals! I love the neutrals!

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Ladle


Categories: Character | Feelings | New York | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2011-05-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Rip Taylor Was Born That Way

Guy about his brother: His only emotion is glitter.
Friend: That's true of all eight-year-olds.
Guy: No, dude, you don't get it. One. Emotion.

Fairfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: Harry


Categories: Character | Connecticut | Family ties | Feelings | Friends | Posted 2011-04-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Um, I'm Brianna.

High school girl #1: Hey, I'm really sorry for teasing you before. I'm usually really sweet!
High school girl #2, mumbling: That's okay.
High school girl #1: Not Brianna, though, she's a total bitch!

High School

Overheard by: stuck in the bathroom stall next to you


Categories: Character | Girls | Gossip | Insults | Overheard in High School | Posted 2011-04-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Um, Because I Just Spent a Summer with the Peace Corps Doing That?

Pretty girl to boy: How is bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog not on your to-do list?

Fairfield High School
Fairfield, Connecticut


Categories: Animals | Character | Connecticut | Girls | Questions | Posted 2011-04-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Blame the Curry

Drunk man outside curry restaurant, face down on pavement, screaming: I've shit myself! I've shit myself! I've shit myself!

Leamington Spa
England


Overheard by: Bleep


Categories: Character | Drunks | England | Poop | Stupidity | Posted 2011-03-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Alanis Morissette Should Really Move on With Her Life

Angry girl shouting to her boyfriend hysterically: I can't believe you're ditching me, you will never, never, never find a girl like me in your entire fucking life again!
Boyfriend: That is the point.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Tadashi


Categories: Character | Comebacks | Couples | New York | Relationships | Posted 2011-03-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Puberty Is Fun!

12-year-old boy, enthusiastically: I like my genitalia!

Portland, Oregon


Categories: Balls | Character | Feelings | Oregon | Penis | Teens | Posted 2011-03-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Laziest. Robbers. Ever.

Student: No, we're not wearing clown masks. I don't want to have to make the effort.

Sixth Form College
England


Overheard by: Becca


Categories: Character | Clothes | England | Students | Wishes | Posted 2011-03-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Thinking About Food Nonstop

Obese guy to another: That's what I like most about dieting...

Ferndale, Washington


Categories: Character | Diet & weight | Fat people | Feelings | Washington | Posted 2011-03-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Draw the Line at the Elephant Man, Though

Guy #1: Wow, you like them big.
Guy #2: No, I can do fingers. As long as it's a Chernobyl mate with, like, fifteen of them.

England

Overheard by: Noel


Categories: Body parts | Character | England | Guys | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Hate My Children

40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Jpov


Categories: Character | Colorado | On the phone | Sex | Wishes | Women | Posted 2011-03-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...You're Always Lookin' Out for Me, Grandma!

Drunk 20-something, yelling in a crowd: Because I am a grad student and I don't do anything!
Older woman: You know there are some attractive young men over by the band.
Drunk 20-something: Well, I do do that.

Cincinnati, Ohio


Categories: Advice | Beauty | Character | Drunks | Offers and requests | Ohio | Women | Posted 2011-03-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Sassy New Rap Song by Gloria Steinem

Old redneck to wife: I don't need no damn misogynist. I done tried that, and it didn't help.

Greenville, South Carolina


Categories: Character | Couples | Feelings | Insults | Relationships | South Carolina | Posted 2011-03-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Have the Sense to Be Grateful

Guy, sweetly to girlfriend: Hey, honey!
Guy friend: Did you know your voice changes when you talk to her?
Guy: Of course! She's the one who fucks me.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey


Categories: Character | Guys | New Jersey | Questions | Relationships | Sex | Posted 2011-03-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I'm So Glad We Can Talk Like This

Girl #1, sitting on couch: I hate it when people sit on chairs that are facing me. It's irritating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are other places they can sit.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: girl sitting on chair facing you


Categories: Character | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2011-02-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Watched the Baby Play with a Plastic Bag

Office building tenant: Oh, and I just wanted to let you know there was a fire in the dumpster last week. I looked for the security guard in the building, but couldn't find him. I didn't know who else to notify, so I just went home.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: how about 911?


Categories: Character | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Stupidity | Posted 2011-02-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just When I Thought You Couldn't Get Any Fruitier, Buddy.

Pizza delivery guy, singing, with a handful of Froot Loops: Frooooooot loooooops!
Later, coming out of building: Everybody loves Froooooot Looooooooooops!

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts


Overheard by: chromathegreat


Categories: Character | Employees | Massachusetts | Singing | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Recommend Suicide

Girl to friend: You know, you're the kind of person who, if you blew a bubble, I would pop it in your face.

UCLA
Westwood, California


Categories: California | Character | Clothing | Compliments | Girls | Posted 2011-01-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

From My Big Book Of Things to Say Before Bursting Into Tears

Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache...

Colorado State University


Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Character | Colorado | Gender issues | On the phone | Posted 2011-01-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Worst. Telemarketer. Ever.

Asian guy: I mean, I'm a nice guy, but I'ma fucking kill you.

Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: Tucker


Categories: Asians | Character | New York | Threats | Violence | Posted 2011-01-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Give Me Directions at Your Own Risk

City bus driver, at the beginning of his shift: My name is Bob, I'll be your new bus driver. I'll be taking this bus down University to... some mall. I don't know where we're going, heh. I'm new.  I will drive very carefully... unless you piss me off. 

Des Moines, Iowa


Categories: Bus | Bus drivers | Character | Iowa | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Stupid Christian University

Girl, in random outburst: I am never going to sleep with you!

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas


Categories: Character | Girls | Sex | Texas | Threats | Posted 2010-12-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Last Time I Tried That, I Ended Up at the E.R.

Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!

Gas Station, Alabama


Categories: Alabama | Character | Gripes | Guys | Rednecks | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ah, the Lewinsky Defense

Skinny Latina girl, insistently: I didn't lead him on! But we had sex.

Berkeley, California


Categories: California | Character | Latinas | Relationships | Sex | Posted 2010-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Have Standards; They're Just Substandard

Sorority girl #1: Yeah, I'd give him a blow job him if he gave me $100.
Sorority girl #2: So you'd prostitute yourself for low 3 figures?
Sorority girl #1: No! It's not like I would ever have sex with him, no matter how much he paid me! He's disgusting!

Indiana University Southeast


Categories: BJs | Character | Indiana | Money | Sexuality | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2010-10-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mr. Woods Has Nothing to Fear From Me

Loud woman in restaurant: I'm discreet! My ad says I am!

Merrifield, Virginia

Overheard by: Ihatewhores


Categories: Bragging | Character | Restaurants | Virginia | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-05-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Seem to Have No Friends, Only Interests

European history professor, discussing WWI: And of course, with Germany's resumption of unrestricted submarine warfare, the United States had its reasons to join the war against Germany.
World-weary student: Not to mention all the loans American bankers needed England and France to win to pay back.
Professor: Some of you are too cynical for your own good.

Montevallo, Alabama


Categories: Alabama | Character | History | Money | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Psh, Paula Abdul's Been Trying to Get Away with That Excuse for Years

Security guy: You fell down the stairs.
Girl, trying to convince him that she's sober: Okay, have a gander at these heels.
Security guy: You were also making out with a man on the couch.
Girl: I'm promiscuous!? All your evidence is circumstantial! See, I'm using words like "promiscuous" and "circumstantial." Have you ever met a drunk person who uses such vocabulary?
Security guy: You exhibit all the signs of intoxication, you are underage, we must ask you to leave.
Girl: For the last time, I'm not drunk! This is just my personality!

Beta Nightclub
Denver, Colorado


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Character | Colorado | Cops | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2010-03-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Can I Live With You This Summer?

Chipper guy: Everyone in my family, except for my little brother I think, is suicidal. They're all just like "blah blah blah... kill myself."

Florida Atlantic University

Overheard by: Kiwi


Categories: Character | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Family ties | Florida | Guys | Posted 2010-02-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Or Retarded

Loud woman with arms in air: Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Grumpy man: Fuckin' drunks!
Loud woman: I'm not drunk, I'm Canadian!

Canal Street
New Orleans, Louisiana


Categories: Character | Drinking & drunks | Foreigners | Gripes | Grumpies | Insults | Louisiana | Posted 2010-02-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wasn't This a Steven Spielberg Movie?

Lady on the bus: So I was 17 and pregnant! He was a Nazi extremist, but a very nice man. Very charming. I was rebellous (sic) as a teenager. Very rebellous. But now I'm old-fashioned, and I've got lots of morals.

Wellington
New Zealand


Overheard by: dominic


Categories: Age and ageing | Bus | Character | New Zealand | Politics | Pregnancy | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2009-11-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But She Didn't Use Their Blood As Paint This Time!

Sober girl: Look, all I'm saying is, I wouldn't fucking mess with her. She's clinically insane.
Drunk girl: But you know, I think she's really smart. There are those people, you know, that are so smart they're like actually crazy... Real mental, and we just think they're weird, but they're not! They have like, an IQ of 200!
Sober girl: You do realize that she drew pictures of her friends decapitated, right?

Wellington
New Zealand


Overheard by: Were they talking about the same person?


Categories: Character | Compare and contrast | Drunks | Girls | New Zealand | Questions | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

He Just Sings Instead Of Talking

Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) "Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!" (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, "Woah! He is a real person."

University of Oklahoma

Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles


Categories: Character | Colleges & Universities | Food | Friends | Oklahoma | Singing | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I've Been Wearing These Same Sweatpants Since 1997

Chick: I don't care about what anyone else does. I barely care about what I do.

Fleetwood, New York

Overheard by: Deek


Categories: Character | Chicks | New York | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Baby Doesn't Understand You, Derek.

Dude, with narrowed eyes: I know your kind. I bet you're sticky.

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Correct-- Yet You Still Manage to Sound Stupid.

Princess: You guys, Johnny Depp doesn't always play dark characters. He was blonde in Secret Window!

Little Bar
Kentucky


Overheard by: Dead Betty

Smurfette: "I Paid a Lot Of Money to Even-out These Puppies."

Blonde girl #1: It's like we've tried countless times to get her to stop, and she just calls us "anorexic whores" and tells us she'd rather be "doming up" guys.
Blonde girl #2, laughing: You need a ruin Smurf plan.
Blonde girl #1: But we've tried everything! It's like "get over yourself! You look like a 1980s cartoon character, with uneven boobs and a crazy tan!"

Toronto
Canadia

So I Gave Debbie Does Dinosaurs an Enthusiastic Two Thumbs Up!

Guy: Nothing, nothing turns me on more than Jurassic Park-themed role play.

Queen's University
Kingston, Canadia


Overheard by: Kat


Categories: Canadia | Character | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Movies | Sex | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-05-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Except for My Dog, Who's Gunther.

Drunk guy at bar: My life is an episode of Friends, only there's no girls, and everyone's Chandler.

Bar
Dayton, Ohio


Overheard by: Kristin


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Character | Compare and contrast | Default | Drunks | Guys | Ohio | TV shows | Posted 2009-05-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir

Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you...because I am Osama Bin Laden.

Starbucks
New York City, New York

But with Slightly Bigger Boobs

Girl #1: What does he look like?
Girl #2: The same way he looked when he was Catherine.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

...Slowly Rubbing Shea Butter on My Back

Professor, about English grammar: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Overheard by: ed216

But Don't You Think Toddlers Deserve to Work in Coal Mines?

Student: That's terrible!
Professor: I agree, I'm a horrible person.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York


Categories: Character | Class | Default | Feelings | New York | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Delta Burke Saw His Point

Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don't have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!

Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut

And I Didn't Notice Until Lunchtime

Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!

Northwestern University
Illinois

Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshopper Story

Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed... are a pain in the ass.

Auckland
New Zealand


Categories: Character | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Happiness | Insults | New Zealand | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Knew I Should've Let the Doctor Keep You a Girl

Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we'll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I'm not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I'm not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]

Luton
England


Categories: Character | Clothes | Feelings | Gripes | Guys | Moms | Offers and requests | Shopping | Stores | Tweens | UK | Posted 2008-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They Told Me to Say That, but Never Trained Me

Grocery store clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Customer: Yep.
Clerk: Oh good. The last woman said she didn't, and I had no idea what to say. So I just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She got so mad.
Customer: Then why do you ask?
Clerk: To be polite.

HyVee
Fort Dodge, Iowa

Um, Racoon Mario Is So Much More Useful

Girl playing video game: Some girls just want to get married. I just want fire.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Kelson

Kid Must've Been Horrible to Get Taken to a Fabric Store

Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom's friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom's friend: Because you're annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!

Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois

I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story

Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.

UB Bus
Buffalo, New York


Categories: Advice | Bus | Character | Chicks | Education | Fears | Hair | Murder | New York | On the phone | Sorority types | Threats | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Gay Men Can't Drink Coffee? That's Crazy.

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath


Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Bag ladies | Bars & Clubs | Character | Crazies | Default | Etiquette | Insults | Penis | San Francisco | Posted 2008-04-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

From Containing All That Evil?

Girl #1: Do you think anyone's like... Actually a good person?
[long pause]
Girl #2
: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.


Drew University
Madison, New Jersey

The 1990's Called...

Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don't get a little crazy, then I'm never gonna survive.

Michigan State University
Michigan


Overheard by: sjshock


Categories: Character | Class | Death & dying | Default | Guys | Mental illnesses | Michigan | Teachers | Threats | Posted 2008-04-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Bar for Chivalry Has Gotten Very Low

Gender professor: I don't know how you'd know by just looking at men if they're the chivalrous kind or the rapey kind.

Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com


Categories: Character | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook