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But Don't You Think Toddlers Deserve to Work in Coal Mines?

Student: That's terrible!
Professor: I agree, I'm a horrible person.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York


Categories: Character | Class | Default | Feelings | New York | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Delta Burke Saw His Point

Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don't have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!

Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut

And I Didn't Notice Until Lunchtime

Blundergrad: I was really irritable today. There was something up my butt. Literally!

Northwestern University
Illinois

Is the Moral of the Ant and Grasshopper Story

Lecturer: People who are happy, hopeful, and relaxed... are a pain in the ass.

Auckland
New Zealand


Categories: Character | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Happiness | Insults | New Zealand | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Knew I Should've Let the Doctor Keep You a Girl

Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we'll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I'm not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I'm not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]

Luton
England


Categories: Character | Clothes | Feelings | Gripes | Guys | Moms | Offers and requests | Shopping | Stores | Tweens | UK | Posted 2008-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They Told Me to Say That, but Never Trained Me

Grocery store clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Customer: Yep.
Clerk: Oh good. The last woman said she didn't, and I had no idea what to say. So I just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She got so mad.
Customer: Then why do you ask?
Clerk: To be polite.

HyVee
Fort Dodge, Iowa

Um, Racoon Mario Is So Much More Useful

Girl playing video game: Some girls just want to get married. I just want fire.

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Kelson

Kid Must've Been Horrible to Get Taken to a Fabric Store

Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom's friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom's friend: Because you're annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!

Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois

I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story

Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.

UB Bus
Buffalo, New York


Categories: Advice | Bus | Character | Chicks | Education | Fears | Hair | Murder | New York | On the phone | Sorority types | Threats | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Gay Men Can't Drink Coffee? That's Crazy.

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath


Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Bag ladies | Bars & Clubs | Character | Crazies | Default | Etiquette | Insults | Penis | San Francisco | Posted 2008-04-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

From Containing All That Evil?

Girl #1: Do you think anyone's like... Actually a good person?
[long pause]
Girl #2
: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.


Drew University
Madison, New Jersey

The 1990's Called...

Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don't get a little crazy, then I'm never gonna survive.

Michigan State University
Michigan


Overheard by: sjshock


Categories: Character | Class | Death & dying | Default | Guys | Mental illnesses | Michigan | Teachers | Threats | Posted 2008-04-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Bar for Chivalry Has Gotten Very Low

Gender professor: I don't know how you'd know by just looking at men if they're the chivalrous kind or the rapey kind.

Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com


Categories: Character | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook