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When You Built Me That Bird-Feeder from Scratch
Sixteen-year-old blonde goth: I think I want to be a lesbian.
Teenage friend: I thought you were one.
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Geneva
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Gender issues | Goths | Oregon | Sexuality | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2010-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like This Garland That Says "Happy Birthday, Mom"?
Teen son to mother: Whats wrong?
Sulking mother: Well, it's just that it's my birthday and you're all just buying things for yourselves.
Department Store
West Australia
Australia
Overheard by: linda
Categories: Australia | Bringing it back to you | Shopping | Should have used a condom | Wishes | Posted 2010-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Now Who Wants to Play "Hang the Sock"??
High school student: People are often uncomfortable when they're naked...
Male professor: Now, that's just not true, because I'm never uncomfortable when I'm naked, and you wanna know why? Because whenever I am naked, fun ensues.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Bragging | Bringing it back to you | Creepsters | Education | North Carolina | Teachers | Posted 2010-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're As Big a Disappointment As Your Mother!
Elderly lady to six-month-old baby: Now, I want you to say nice and clearly, "here I am, grandmother," when I ask you where you are.
Oxford
England
Categories: Age and ageing | Bringing it back to you | Family ties | Kids | Old folks | UK | Posted 2010-11-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least There's No Violin Shortage
Starbucks employee: Actually, most of the stores in the city are out of soy today.
Pompous customer: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve?
Starbucks
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ho Lexington III
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Customers | Employees | Food | Pennsylvania | Restaurants | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're My Bitch
Woman, watching magnificent poodle: Oh my god, that's the most beautiful dog in the world!
Man, wounded: Hey! I'm the most beautiful dog in the world!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Beauty | Bringing it back to you | Compare and contrast | Guys | Pennsylvania | Women | Posted 2010-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Can Hear You All Blinking
Boy to giggling girl #1: I like your eyelashes, they're really long.
(jealous silence)
Giggling girl #2: The rest of us have eyelashes too!
Twickenham
England
Overheard by: Becca
Categories: Body parts | Bringing it back to you | Compliments | England | Girls | Guys | Posted 2009-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Answer Will Keep You from Doing It Now?
Guy: Have you ever seen me suck the tip of my penis?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: BJs | Bringing it back to you | Guys | New Jersey | Penis | Questions | Posted 2009-12-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Me, Nature, and Judge Judy
Chemistry professor: Now, it may seem that nature has gotten it wrong--but like me, nature never gets it wrong.
University of Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | New Zealand | Philosophy | Science | Teachers | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Bought This Tape Recorder
Indian entrepreneur: I am tired of listening to people talking. I want to listen to me talking.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Bosses | Bringing it back to you | Gripes | Overheard in PDX | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Like a Two-Legged Redbook Magazine
Pretentious student to professor: There were a lot of people there. Interesting people. But most of them weren't as interesting as me.
University of Maine
Orono, Maine
Categories: Bragging | Bringing it back to you | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Maine | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Generation Wisely Prefers Wii Relationships
Teen girl: They've broken up three times, and it never goes well for me.
Studio City, California
Overheard by: Urz
Categories: Bringing it back to you | California | Relationships | Teens | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Verne Troyer Has Forever Ruined That Role
Teacher: Oh my god, I love you, Erica! You're like a little me!
Student: Ew!
Middle School
Virginia
Overheard by: Eh, there are worse things
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Education | Feelings | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's the California Default Setting
Girl #1: You're retarded.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too.
San Diego, California
Categories: Bringing it back to you | California | Girls | Insults | Mental illnesses | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Right Said Fred Could Not Sustain Their Popularity
Guy #1: Just admit it, man.
Guy #2: Admit what? That I'm great and wonderful and perfect in every way shape and form? Alright, I'm great and wonderful and perfect in every way shape and form!
Guy #1: No, admit that you're crazier than me!
Guy #2: Yeah, well...you're just Mr "Too sexy for my shirt," and I'm Mr "Too sexy for my life," but seriously, I'm so smart and everyone loves me.
Guy #3: You're just lyin' to yourself, man.
Guy #2: I'm too sexy for the world! That's just the way it is. I'm the next Albert Einstein. Everyone will soon realize that they love me. You all know that I'm right, so say that I am always right! You're dumb and I'm smart. Everyone loves me.
Bus driver: Will you guys be quiet? No one wants to hear this!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Lulu
Categories: Bragging | Bringing it back to you | Bus | Bus drivers | Compare and contrast | Guys | Lies | New York | Public Transportation | Questions | Posted 2009-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Five Times a Day.
Girl inside stall: I love my vagina!
Bathroom in Bar
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bringing it back to you | Connecticut | Feelings | Girls | Vagina | Posted 2009-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's a Personal Choice
Tall girl: Because you can still wear it under your clothes and be like, "Oh yeah, I have sexy underwear on and you'd only see it if I took my clothes off."
Short girl: Or if you bend over, which I do a lot.
Woodstock, New York
Something Just Expanded --Possibly My Awareness
Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?
Starbuck's, Castro Street
Mountain View, California
Overheard by: touché
Categories: Baristas | Bringing it back to you | California | Girls | Guys | Money | Nipples | Questions | Restaurants | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Demanded by the Quality of Your Recent Essays
Professor: Okay, time to get back to class.
Student: But this conversation is so rewarding.
Professor: Sorry, but some of us have to go out drinking later tonight.
Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Comebacks | Drinking & drunks | Education | Overheard at UMBC | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From Containing All That Evil?
Girl #1: Do you think anyone's like... Actually a good person?
[long pause]
Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.
Drew University
Madison, New Jersey
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Character | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Girls | Gripes | Maladies | New Jersey | Questions | Sorority types | Students | Posted 2008-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Consists Mostly of Panting and Licking Strangers
Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine... is a more quiet desperation.
University of Idaho
Idaho
Overheard by: Funnygirl
Categories: Bringing it back to you | Colleges & Universities | Drunks | Girls | Idaho | Sex | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
These People Are Everywhere
Thugette: I ain't talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question -- about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!
Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia
So Anyway, He Killed Himself to Spite Me
Girl #1: Oh my god, so remember how Ben stopped talking to me and I was pissed but now I'm totally over it and whatever? Well, it turns out that what I didn't know was that his mother was dying and he was held up at knife point for like 20 minutes and was going through post-traumatic stress... And then I went home for reading week and didn't call him because I thought he wasn't talking to me, and that was apparently, like, the straw that broke the camel's back -- like, he really needed me and I wasn't there for him or something.
Girl #2: Wow. It's like, 'Thanks for making me feel like a total bitch.'
Girl #1: I know!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Bringing it back to you | Gossip | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
