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Americans Mistakenly Believe Silence Can Be Improved Upon
Russian girl: When I read in Russian, nothing can stop me. But when I read in English, I need silence.
American girl: That's what the music is for!
Train
Moscow to Nizhniy Novgorod
Russia
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
So It's Not "Hotel for Dogs"?
Husband: What's the greatest story ever told, then?
Wife: Hansel and Gretel!
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Books | California | Couples | Pop culture | Questions | Posted 2011-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Better Than Being Spineless, I Guess.
Peasant husband in bookshop, holding up book: Hey, look at this!
Peasant wife: That's the problem with books, they make you do things.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
...Or at Least Draw Naughty Pictures to Accompany the Poems?
Boy Scout dad, after walking through exhibit: So was he some sort of poet?
Woman: Uh, yeah... He was kind of a big deal.
Boy Scout dad: Did he write limericks?
Allen Ginsberg Exhibit
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Afrocurl
Categories: Books | Dads | Questions | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2010-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Take That IPad!
Teen girl #1, looking at bookmarks: Oh--I would totally read if I had a cool bookmark!
Teen girl #2: Oh, me too, for sure!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Hence The Taming Of the Jew
Girl at history class: Ohhh, I get it! So, Shakespeare got his ideas from Hitler!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Toya Lah
And the Shittiest!
Boy in AP English class, reading "The House on Mango Street": This is the most realistic book I've read since "Everybody Poops"!
New Jersey
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | New Jersey | Poop | Students | Posted 2010-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Maya Angelou Bitch-Slapped That Opinion Out Of Me
Woman #1: So how did the date go?
Woman #2: Well, he started telling me about his favorite books, and I was all: "you know niggas can't read!"
Georgia
...But Let's Consult Wikipedia to Be Sure.
Girl: Seriously, it's about this guy who fucks his clone and then wonders whether it's gay or masturbation. And that's the whole fucking book!
Guy, after thoughtful pause: No. Totally not gay.
UBC
Canadia
Categories: Books | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Guys | Masturbation | Sex | Posted 2010-02-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Have No Words for This Quote.
Woman: Do you have the book How to Fix Your Marriage without Words?
Saleslady: Sorry, it looks like we don't have that in stock right now.
Woman: Fuck!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Taylor
Categories: Books | Customers | Employees | Insults | Relationships | Shopping | Washington | Posted 2010-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Llama on a Cart You Can Wheel Around?
Loud lady on cell phone in philosophy section of a bookstore: Which Dali Lama book? They have a million. What's a Dali Lama, anyway?
Southaven, Mississippi
Overheard by: Beth Walker
Categories: Books | Mississippi | Names | On the phone | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rather a Creature Who Hates All Happiness
Professor, on Dante's version of the devil: This is not like one of those vampire things that are good-looking and want to suck your blood, and that makes you happy.
University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Categories: Beauty | Books | Colleges & Universities | Evil | Happiness | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But with a Better Sense Of Meter.
Student: I think that Eminem is like a modern-day Hamlet, you know?
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Categories: About celebrities | Books | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Music | Students | Posted 2009-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When You Have "Dick" in Your Name, You Have to Expect That.
Professor: When I was learning about Emily Dickinson in high school, I wasn't really paying attention. I was just wondering what she looked like without her clothes on.
Missouri
Hey, My Vulva Gets Excellent Mileage!
Girl: What are you?
White pants: Jay Gatsby, old sport.
Girl: You know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day.
White pants: I can make out the bulk of your vulva at the moment, I believe it would be behoove me to consult someone else with regards to taste.
Halloween Party
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr Doctor
Today's Young Woman Is Proud to Display Everything She's Got
Library worker girl: That's a cute bag.
Library worker girl with clear purse: Thanks!
Boss man: But then everyone can see everything you have!
Library worker girl with clear purse: It's not like I got a gun or anything... I can always hide things between the books...
Library worker girl: Like your gun?
Kent State University Library
Kent, Ohio
Categories: Books | Bosses | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Coworkers | Fashion | Ohio | Questions | Violence | Posted 2009-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Hot Salesgirl
Whiny man: I don't even know how to read. Why are we here?
Borders
California
I Blame the Dora the Explorer Movies
Guy on cell: I would be walking, and suddenly the word "vaginas" with a massive smiley face beside would pop into my head, as if my brain was trying to tell me it's fun... like a children's book.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: Chad
Categories: Books | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | On the phone | Vagina | Words | Posted 2009-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Juding by the Way You're Huddled in the Corner, Chanting in Middle English.
Professor: Sorry, I think I just gave a few of you post-traumatic Chaucer disorder.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Education | Mental illnesses | New York | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Blame the Obamas!
Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Categories: Animals | Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Food | North Carolina | Students | Stupidity | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Our Family, We Get Our Pornography from the Internet
Boy, holding bodice-ripper romance novel: Dad, is this a book for fifth-graders?
Distracted father: No. Put it back.
Boy: What is it?
Distracted father: Hardcore pornography. Put it back.
Fairwood, Washington
Overheard by: he was so hopeful
Um, Books About Dildos?
Janeane Garofalo incarnate, walking past adult bookstore: What more does a feminist need than dildos and books?
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: A. N. Cargo
Is This Any More Stupid Than the Political Interpretation? Discuss.
Teenage girl #1, explaining Shakespeare to friend: So, basically, Romeo is, like, a man whore. As soon as he knows some chick won't have sex with him he gets all pissy and emo and goes after someone else.
Teenage girl #2: So, like, he just wants to make babies? Man, I always thought it was more romantic!
Teenage girl #1: Nope. He just wants to hop into bed with whoever's available.
Birmingham, Alabama
Leave Jay Manuel Alone, Already.
Teen boy #1: He's gay.
Teen boy #2: No, he isn't.
Teen girl: He's just orange!
Teen boy #2, laughing: "Orange" isn't a sexual orientation.
Teen boy #1, laughing so hard he's crying: I was just thinking that.
Teen boy #2: Hes like, an Oompa-Loompa. He's always so mean 'cause he's tall, they rejected him because he was different.
McDonald's
New York City, New York
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Gossip | McDonald's | New York | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Underground. On Mars.
30-something large man: That book by George Orwell, 1984, is a prophecy!
Skinny guy sitting next to him: Yeah, yeah, man.
30-something large man: Because in 1985, the government took over, and they were the ones selling all the crack and dope. I would know. I was working for them.
Transit Bus
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: scooting farther away
Categories: Books | Bus | Drugs | Fat people | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Politics | Skinny people | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2009-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except No One's Posing As Gay
Woman, waiting for Two Gentlemen of Verona to begin: This is one of Shakespeare's comedies, right?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Someone will cross-dress, there will be mistaken identity, and love triangles, and everything will turn out well. All Shakespeare comedies have the same plot.
Friend: Yeah, pretty much.
Woman: They're all just episodes of Three's Company.
Boulder, Colorado
Categories: Books | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Questions | Relationships | TV shows | Women | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or He Was in This Porn I Once Saw.
Super gangster teen guy, looking at Victorian book: Yo, why there so many pictures from Greece and Rome?
Super gangster teen girl: Greek is in Rome!
Bedford
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Heather
Like Romeo and Ghouliet or A Midsummer Night's Scream
Girl to guy: Most Shakespeare works could have totally been done with zombies!
Kennesaw State University, Georgia
Overheard by: Dr. Hypokrit
Clearly You've Never Had to Deal with a Crying Five-Year-Old
English teacher: Literature just isn't exciting unless people suffer. Like Dora the Explorer, nothing bad ever happens to her. The show would be a lot better if her monkey got hit by a car and died, wouldn't it?
High School
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: mcoo
Categories: Animals | Books | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Education | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2009-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lindsay Lohan's Bedside Table?
Lady, looking bewildered at companion: Well, where would you be if you were a sex book?
Bookstore
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Knows exactly where he would be
...Just Eat More Popcorn and You'll Be Fine
Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he's been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he's a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you've been reading too much sci-fi.
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: About celebrities | Books | Death & dying | Guys | Questions | Washington | Zombies | Posted 2009-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Given the Painful Inflammation Of My Chamber Of Secrets
Angry British guy on phone: My name's 'arry. No! 'arry! 'arry! Dammit, no! 'arry, like 'arry Potter! Thank you.
Girl nearby: You just made my life a little better.
Arizona
Overheard by: Meg:)
Categories: Arizona | Books | Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Names | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil
English teacher, reading Hamlet: "To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come..." Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.
Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Education | Frat boy types | Murder | Pennsylvania | Questions | Stupidity | Teachers | Zombies | Posted 2009-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Literacy Campaigns Have Come a Long Way Since Reading Rainbow
Girl, looking at books: I love the library! It's like natural Adderall.
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: too old for this
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Posted 2009-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or "Dy-no-miiiiite"?
Kooky English professor, leading discussion: Now, what if the raven had said "chicken soup"?
Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: lenore
Hey, I'm Still Trying to Figure Out the Color Of My Aura
Girl to friend: There's a book you might be interested in, called What Color Is Your Parish.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: mine's ultraviolence
Thankfully I've Brought Enough for the Class
Literature professor, after reciting Hamlet's "To be or not to be...": So now you all need a Valium...count on me to ruin your day.
English Lit Class
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Rosencrantz
Are You Allowed to Give Me That Advice?
Student, yelling at no one in particular: I can't believe this stupid book is $52! It's a fuckin' softcover 40-page book!
Bookstore employee: Dude, just photocopy it and return it.
Student: Ohhh! Good idea! Thanks!
Bookstore
Los Angeles, California
The Feather Boas Are Confusing
English teacher: Going around is a sheet with some 1920s slang, so you can get used to it before we start reading The Great Gatsby. Okay, so, everyone knows what a flapper is...?
Tenth grader: Oh, like a transvestite, right?
Tinton Falls, New Jersey
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | New Jersey | Questions | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Did I Just Say That Out Loud?
Businessman on cell: I could barely see over her head, dude! It was like reading Klingon for the first time.
Independence Avenue
Washington, DC
Categories: Body parts | Books | Compliments | Default | Guys | Pop culture | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alice Had Yet to Learn to Scream "Back the Fuck Off Me!"
Terrifyingly cheerful woman, handing out christian pamphlets at bus stop: Hello! Would you like something to read on the bus?
Girl, already reading large book: I'm, uh...I'm already...
Crazy looking hobo, scoffing and muttering to girl: People can be insane.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Books | California | Crazies | Default | Girls | Hobos | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, Vanilla Transvestite Love.
Chick #1: I worry that I'll become boring.
Chick #2: I think I'm more in danger of that than you.
Chick #1: What? You edit books about transvestite love!
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
And It's Not Even in English!
Guy picking up copy of Les Miserables: Oh my god, look at the size of this thing! What a crappy book!
Barnes & Noble
Mankato, Minnesota
Clearly, Mr. Montague Had Swallowed Too Many Capulets
Girl on phone: Oh my god, I seriously didn't think anyone could act like that unless they were on something! (pause) I know! He was slurring his speech, staggering all over the place, and talking about Romeo and Juliet!
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: one of these things is not like the other...
Categories: Books | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Movies | Weirdness | Posted 2009-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Been Too Long Since I've Played Magic: The Gathering
Young female hill staffer #1: Right there in the friggin' book stacks...
Young female hill staffer #2: You were friggin' in the book stacks?
Young female hill staffer #1: Damn girl, I was watching, not doing.
Young female hill staffer #2: Wasted opportunity, if you ask me. I'd have joined in, or embarrassed the hell out of them till they let me in.
Capitol Hill South Metro Station
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Yoda
Categories: Books | Default | Girls | Public transportation | Questions | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: Sex With You Isn't Worth the Annoyance Of Your Company
Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: nayvera
The Back Of the Shelves?
Black student: Where's the ethnic section?
White librarian: The what?
Black student: The ethnic section...you know, where all the books by black people are.
White librarian: We don't have an ethnic section, dear. You'll have to browse the shelves.
Longview College, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Black people | Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Missouri | Offers and requests | Questions | Race | Students | Posted 2009-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lear Has Something for Everyone
Strange curly-haired girl: Make sure you make Edmund really hot.
Morose pale dark-haired girl: Why?
Strange curly-haired girl: Dude! Did you not read King Lear? Bitches were all over his dick!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Anneliese
As His Sancho Panza
Girl: You should meet his dad! He's like Don Quixote in a Kafka story.
Guy: Who's father they were talking about...you know...but with a tv.
Sabiá bar, Vila Madalena
Sao Paulo, Brazil
Categories: Advice | Bars & Clubs | Books | Brazil | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Girls | Guys | Technology | Posted 2009-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
While You Live in My House, You'll Share My Ignorance
Whining toddler: Mommy, I want that book!
Yelling mother: You can't read!
Dalton Booksellers
Jefferson Valley, New York
Categories: Books | Default | Family ties | Kids | Kids | Moms | New York | Offers and requests | Stores | Women | Posted 2009-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...After Taking Me to the Movies.
Hot girl to random girl: Have you read or seen He's Not That Into You?
Random girl, to uninterested guy: No.
Hot girl: Well, I highly recommend you read it!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: he really wasn't
In the Nightmares Section
Man to salesperson in hippie bookstore: Hi I'm looking for a children's book about how chemicals and global warming are destroying the earth.
Salesperson: Oh, sure, it's right over here!
The Bookshelf
Guelph, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The zoe
Whatever Queen Elizabeth Said Went
Teacher: Next, we're reading Much Ado about Nothing.
(class groans)
Teacher: Back then, "nothing" was slang for "vagina."
Class: Ooooh.
Enloe High
Raleigh, North Carolina
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | North Carolina | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Vagina | Posted 2009-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wasn't This a Cheers Episode?
Waitress: Is this the book club? These are your free shots.
Bar
Allston, Massachusetts
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Books | Default | Drinking & drunks | Employees | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2009-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, the Horror. The Horror!
Dudely dude: You know Heart of Darkness, by Marlon Brando...
Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York
Categories: About celebrities | Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Names | New York | Pop culture | Posted 2009-03-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Need to Get All Paulette Goddard on Me
Teenage girl: Mom, you have to buy me this book!
Mom: No, I don't, and I shan't.
Teenage girl: You what?
Mom: I shan't.
Teenage girl: "Shan't"?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: "Shan't"?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: "Shan't"?
Mom: Yes. Shan't.
Teenage girl: That's a word?
Mom: Yes.
Teenage girl: What's it mean?
Mom: It's a contraction of "shall not", as in "I shan't buy you that book."
Teenage girl: Ugh, fine! Enough shan'ting already!
Borders Bookstore
Olathe, Kansas
...Which Was Letter "C" on the Multiple-Choice Exam
Professor, talking about Shakespeare's Twelfth Night: Well, Sebastian and Antonio have a pretty interesting relationship. It's kind of like, uh, what's the word...a bromance! It's kind of like a bromance.
Michigan State University
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Michigan | Names | Relationships | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Real World's Sadly Lacking in Noble Causes Worth Fighting for
20-something girl to boyfriend: You're such a nerd.
Boyfriend: We prefer "Men of Gondor."
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Corey
Categories: Books | Couples | Default | Education | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Words | Posted 2009-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Mufflers and Men?
Guy #1: Check out that girl's ensemble. Interesting.
Gut #2: I bet she read a book about how to wear her scarf.
Antonio's Pizza
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Chris
Categories: Books | Default | Fashion | Guys | Restaurants | Rhode Island | Sexuality | Posted 2009-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Guess We Could Try Smoking Them
Teen guy: Yeah, we got like, so wasted!
Teen girl #1: It was great, yeah. We got so high.
Teen girl #2: Where did you guys get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: What?
Teen girl #2: If you guys were getting high, where did you get the alcohol?
Teen girl #1: That's drunk. You get high off weed.
Teen girl #2: Oh. Okay. Then, where'd you get that?
Teen guy: My sister. She's sixteen!
Teen girl #2: Can't you get high off books?
Teen guy: What?
Teen girl #2: Cause, can't, like...books get you high?
Teen girl #1: What?
Library
East Vancouver, BC
Canadia
The Way Pittsburgh Stole the Overheard Concept
Professor, about a book currently sold out at the campus bookstore: This book has been required in my class for years. All the upperclassmen have this book. Borrow it! (whispering) Steal it!
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Categories: Advice | Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Posted 2009-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Now, A Sponge? Dead For A Krabby Patty, Dead!
Theater professor: In Shakespeare's plays, SpongeBob would die.
Wayne State University
Detroit, Michigan
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Michigan | Names | TV shows | Teachers | Posted 2009-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...'s Guide to Astrophysics?
Customer: Excuse me, where is your non-fiction section?
Salesgirl: What type of non-fiction are you looking for?
Customer: Harry Potter.
Bookstore
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Translation: Dad's Not Leaving Us Much
Woman to friends holding books: I finally told him, "I don't care if your father dies tonight--I am not missing book club!"
Coffee Shop
Kenosha, Wisconsin
Overheard by: a coffee gal
Categories: Books | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Restaurants | Wisconsin | Women | Posted 2009-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Much Easier to Digest Than Faulkner-- Trust Me.
Girl: Mom, you have to buy me a book.
Mom: I just bought you beef jerky!
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Ciara & Eric
Categories: Books | California | Default | Family ties | Food | Girls | Moms | Posted 2009-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Good News Is, the Smell of Poop Makes Me Read
Girl: I shat my pants at a Barnes & Noble once.
Guy: Could it be because you ate scallops?
Girl: No, it's because the smell of books makes me poop.
Denny's
Vincennes, Indiana
Yeah, We Saw Your Facebook Post
Teacher: Okay, so get out your books and start doing the exercises.
Student: Can I borrow your book?
Teacher: You didn't bring your books? Man...you guys are such losers.
Philadelphia University, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Student
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Pennsylvania | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like, It Takes a Village to Raise a Chomper?
Customer: Do you have any non-fiction books on vampires?
Dymocks Carousel
Perth, Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: Richard
Is That What I've Been Swallowing?
Older male professor, addressing a large lecture hall with only girls: So you see, in my body you will find lots of regular cells, and also you will find cells that are in the process of meiosis; and those are my sperm cells.
Barnard girl: That is so awkward.
Barnard College
New York
Overheard by: Vicksburg
In T9 for Two
Girl to friends in line for bathroom: That's going to be the next chapter of the book: Boys Who Text But Won't Have Sex!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Eavesdrop DC
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Names | Other sites | Sex | Posted 2009-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Same Way That Fear and Loathing... Is Utopian
Elderly professor: Who's to say Brave New World is a dystopia? I mean, they just did drugs and had sex all day. That sounds like a utopia, if you ask me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: unsettled.
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Drugs | Education | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sex | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eh, I'm Joining the Marines Next Year, Anyway
Guy #1: We had to read Catcher in the Rye and Uncle Tom's Cabin last year! It was ridiculous!
Guy #2: Aren't they the same story?
Fauquier High
Warrenton, Virginia
Overheard by:
But Myth Won't Even Let Him Buy It a Drink
Professor: We know CS Lewis likes myth. We know Lewis loves myth. We know he wants myth's babies.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Jessica
Little Frasier and Niles Were Quite the Handful
Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He's non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Even When You've Got Steak at Home, Sometimes You Go Out for a Cheeseburger
Classics professor: Yeah, Zeus liked to turn into animals in order to get some. Hey, I just study it; I don't justify it.
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Categories: Animals | Books | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Religion | Sexuality | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Now Proceed to the Dining Hall for an On-Site Demonstration
Professor, discussing King Solomon's Mines: So they find the body in the cave, and it hasn't decomposed at all. Not such a strange thing, as those of you who've ever hidden a body in a freezer will know.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Categories: Books | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Listen Up, Ladies
Male British literature prof: Today, Alexander Pope and I are going to tell you what it's like to be a woman.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: reb
The Same Issue Carmen Electra Has Every Saturday Night
Professor about poem A Wife's Lament: The real issue we are dealing with with this woman is how many guys are involved and in what kinds of positions.
Univsersity of Colorado, Denver
...in the Bathroom, During the Exam
Hottie: But who do you cheat off of?
Friend: I read the book.
Geoge Brown College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Tdot Girl
Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn't meant to be faithful. We're all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I'll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Couples | Default | Feelings | Florida | Gender issues | Guys | Infidelity | Questions | Sexuality | Stores | Women | Posted 2008-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A One-Two Punch Of Knowledge Knocks Marcy Out
Girl #1: Oh my god! Romeo and Juliet is a book!
Girl #2: It's like, Shakespeare.
Girl #1: Oh my god, who?
Borders Bookstore
Commack, New York
It's for Grandma's Glaucoma
Employee: Hi, can I help you find anything?
Ghetto kid: Yeah, I'm looking for a book called Marijuana Horticulture.
Employee: Yeah, I know that book. I think we are out, though.
Bookstore
Stockton, California
Overheard by: Can I get some of that?
Categories: Books | California | Default | Drugs | Employees | Guys | Offers and requests | Stores | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who's Going As Pontius Pilate of Nottingham?
Bimbette, looking at halloween costumes online with her boyfriend: Oh, look! You can go as Robin Hood and I'll be Mary Magdalene!
RIC College
Providence, Rhode Island
Categories: Bimbettes | Books | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | History | Rhode Island | Stupidity | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
David Hasselhoff Preps for His Next Audition
Guy on urinal on the phone: Yeah, let slip the dogs of war...protein. No truer words have ever been spoken...Shakespeare didn't know shit... (farts loudly) Fuck! (farts again) Fuck. Energy drinks...I'm outta here.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Categories: Books | Burping & farting | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | On the phone | Restroom | Virginia | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Beats a Cat in a Hat and a Big Red Dog
Chick: I should write children's books based on those stories: the volleyball girl with bad luck, and the girl with the feet of a black man.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Couple More Explosions Would've Done It for Me
Woman in her fifties, walking out of Brideshead Revisited: It was okay.
Husband: Yeah.
Woman: It's no Wall-E, but it was okay.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Evy
Claire Was Significantly Less Thrilled with the "Mysteries Solved by Cats" Section
Emo girl to emo friend: They have a whole Harry Potter section...I love the world!
Borders
Manalapan, New Jersey
Bobby Has the Dullest Stream of Consciousness in Wisconsin
Little boy looking at book: Is a noun a noun? Is an adjective an adjective?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Couch Centaur
Time Gives White People the Illusion They Understand Black People
Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed . . . It's bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I'm not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy's name was "fifty cents."
(class laughs)
Professor: But I'm cool, and I know that it's not "fifty cents," it's "fiddy."
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Only If You Go to School in Kansas
Frat boy reading section titles: "Self-help, cooking, fiction." ...is fiction science?
Barnes & Noble
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: almost threw a book at him
Categories: Books | Frat boy types | Massachusetts | Questions | Stores | Stupidity | Posted 2008-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Another Tragic Incidence of the Blonde Leading the Blonde
Ditz #1: ...and then I was like, "Why did I fail spring semester, sir?" and then he was like, "You asked me if The Odyssey was an actual event, and stated that it was in every one of your papers on the subject, even after I told you it wasn't."
Ditz #2: Wait, it wasn't?
Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois
...And Season One Little House on the Prairie
Girl #1: It's just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.
Starbucks
Ukiah, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Books | California | Default | Feelings | Girls | Internet | Pop culture | Porn | Sexuality | Shopping | Posted 2008-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So the Liberal Media Would Have Us Believe
Woman: How old is that bible?
Clerk (picking it up): 1911.
Woman: Thats the first one?
Clerk: First what?
Woman: First bible.
Clerk: (astonished silence)
Resale Shop
Hammond, Indiana
All the Good Books Are Made Into Movies, Anyway
Teen son: I really want to read a book, I don't know why.
Mother: No, it's such a waste of money.
Target
Voorhees, New Jersey
Overheard by: deno
It's Pretty Much the Short Bus of Hogwarts
Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh... Do you think it's because nobody cares?
Borders
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Books | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Guys | Pop culture | Questions | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Just Say That Because You're Failing Calculus
Undergrad: The whole reason I like the book was, like, because Isaac Newton is so badass!
Friend: I thought he was, like, an asshole.
Undergrad: No!
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: whatgoesup
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Pennsylvania | Science | Students | Posted 2008-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Is the Thesis of My American Lit Dissertation
Saxophone-playing dude: [About Huck Finn] You really think some ten-year-old white boy is gonna be running around with a crazy black man like "Woo hoo! Everything's cool!"? No way, man, they woulda ate him!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Default | Guys | Kids | Race | Violence | Posted 2008-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Christianity's All About the Special Effects
Girl to mother: You know, that's why I'm so messed up. My main memories of church are smearing fake blood on a Ken doll for Cain killing Abel, with pigeons cooing at me; and dancing across the stage in a pink tutu for The Odyssey.
Aurora, Colorado
Dude Said He Wanted to Sail on My Wine-Dark Sea
Girl on cell: I just heard the most epic pickup line. Like, if Homer had known this pickup line it would have been all over The Odyssey.
Northwestern University
Illinois
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Illinois | On the phone | Words | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For the Last Time, That's Not What Lilliputians Are
Girl: So yeah, it would just be like Gulliver's Travels.
[Pause.]
Boy: There'd be kitten penises everywhere!
Warwick, England
Yeah, Indirectly
Girl: No, isn't Macbeth the one where she gets her husband to kill Macbeth?
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Stu
Categories: Books | Death & dying | Education | Family ties | Girls | Overheard at York | Questions | Relationships | Violence | Posted 2008-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Long As You Don't Lie in the Same Bed Together, It's All Good
Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?
Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself
Categories: Books | Guys | North Carolina | Offspring | Parenting | Questions | Religion | Restaurants | Violence | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
True That
Dude: "I am Legend"? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Books | Colorado | Education | Guys | Movies | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Words | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh Yeah, Grindhouse Is Just Dripping With Tolstoy
TA: It's like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.
UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: Books | California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Evil | Students | Violence | Posted 2008-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, It Has the Word "Vajayjay" on the Cover
Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn't know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that's Cosmo!
Barnes & Noble
Illinois
Categories: Books | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Friends | Guys | Illinois | Pop culture | Porn | Stores | Tweens | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I'm Terrified a Cat in a Hat Will Come Mess Up My House
Professor: I thought this was made up, but then I read it in a book, which of course means it?s true.
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Idiots | Lies | North Carolina | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If It Leaves My Coffee Table All Wobbly Again, So Be It
Annoyed suit: Sir, don't make me break out the "Canterbury Tales!"
Washington, DC
Except for This Headline
Serious girl: Nothing important has ever been typed with the thumbs.
UNT Campus
Denton, Texas
Overheard by: Having a Cigarette Break
Categories: Body parts | Books | Colleges & Universities | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Girls | Students | Texas | Words | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff
Geeky girl: You know, I've still got my ex-boyfriend's mom's library card.
Goth friend: ...We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Animals | Books | Colorado | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Goths | Offers and requests | Porn | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Watch Her Do What, Exactly?
Man on cell: One needs to do two things: Read Tolstoy and watch Paris Hilton.
Shout-out: lefulelve.freeblog.hu
Categories: About celebrities | Advice | Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | On the phone | Other sites | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Between Lute Lessons
Teacher, incredulously: You never read Harold and the Purple Crayon?!
Student: Well, sorry, I was reading Machiavelli.
Shout-out: overheardinhighschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Books | Comebacks | Default | Gripes | Overheard in High School | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Expect at a Party School Like Harvard?
Eager freshman: It's like a disco, but with books!
Harvard Yard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Books | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Massachusetts | Students | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Way There Are Always People around to Help Me with the Big Words
Drunk guy: Well, I'm, like, more of a social reader, you know?
Columbus, Ohio
Does This Have Anything to Do with Political Philosophy?
Professor: Does anyone know how to write an underscore in Elvish? In high school my friends and I used to have arguments about how much should be phonetic and how much should be character by character. I would spell 'tree' chee, and my friend would spell it tree, and I would say, 'But the T sounds like a ch--!' and he would say, 'That's because you're a damn foreigner!'
Shout-out: overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Books | Education | Language barrier | Maryland | Teachers | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is It on YouTube?
Dude: So, this Oh-di-pus guy killed his dad and married his mom.
Girl: Gross... So, did they do it?
Dude: Oh, yeah.
Girl: Cool.
University of Saskatchewan
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Overheard by: headshakingprof
Tell Me This Door-Knocker-Lawn-Sprinkler Isn't Cool
Boy #1: Are you reading fuckin' SkyMall?
Boy #2: Yeah. It's actually pretty cool...
Boy #1: Faggot.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Books | Insults | Kids | Massachusetts | Posted 2008-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like I've Never Made It into an Actual Book
Student: So, I went to the state library the other day.
Friend: What was it like?
Student: Well, I never made it into the actual book section.
City bus
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Sara
Or Drag Queens
Mom to two kids: Now, you can both get one paperback each, but remember, they have to be normal paperbacks. Nothing about dragons.
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Books | Connecticut | Moms | Posted 2007-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
