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And Leave Show Business?
Girl: My stomach hurts...
Guy: Maybe you should stop having so much butt sex.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Advice | Backdoor | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Stomach | Posted 2010-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Been Eating My Words a Lot Lately
Professor, discussing types of fat: Babies aren't fat like... (points at a fat girl) No, I don't want to say that... like my tummy.
University of Georgia
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Diet & weight | Georgia | Stomach | Teachers | Posted 2009-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But She Just Wanted to Take My Lunch Order
Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Alice Haefeli
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Cum | Default | Guys | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Stomach | Students | Posted 2009-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now We Both Feel Sick, Sir
American Government professor: And our second candidate for class president was born to a military family in 1990, which almost makes me sick to my stomach when I think about what I was doing in 1990. See, you could be my baby!
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | History | Politics | Stomach | Teachers | Posted 2009-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Blame Sarah Silverman for Our Uncharitable Thoughts
Girl #1: My stomach hurts.
Girl #2: Ew, girl! You pregnant!
Charlotte, North Carolina
This Is Still Lindsay Lohan's Most Functional Relationship to Date
Drunk lesbian to sober girlfriend: Aw, I wanna puke but I can't!
Sober girlfriend: I would punch you in the stomach if you wanted ...that's how much I love you.
Drunk lesbian: Awww, that's sweet.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Compliments | Default | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Lesbos | Stomach | Violence | Washington | Posted 2009-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Thinking, I'm Thinking!
Prof: Do you think that kicking a pregnant woman in the stomach was wrong?
Student: Ummmm... I'm not certain.
Prof: Do you think that what he did was a crime?
[Student pauses for nearly 30 seconds.]
Student #2: Dude, he kicked a baby.
Seton Hall Law
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Class | Crimes | New Jersey | Philosophy | Pregnancy | Questions | Stomach | Students | Teachers | Violence | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Seem to Be Retaining Coors
Guy: Dude, that is your belly.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Categories: Body parts | Frat boy types | Jocks | North America | Overheard in Utah | Stomach | USA | Utah | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Forgot You Vomit with Your Abdominal Muscles
Foreign student, in Spanish: When I woke up the next morning, my stomach was so sore. Of all the parts of me I thought would get sore after a night of debauchery, the stomach isn't even in the top 10.
Rector Lopez Argueta
Granada, Andalusia
Spain
Overheard by: Kelly
