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Gay Marriage Should Be Legalized Just for the Ceremonies
20-something hot girl to friend: He tore off all his clothes, threw him on his back on the bar, then covered his nipples in whipped cream.
Denver, Colorado
That's How Studying Is Done, Right?
Frat dude to another: I'm going to the library and I'm going to study my little nipples off.
University of Colorado
Overheard by: OMH
Categories: Colorado | Education | Frat boy types | Nipples | Weirdness | Posted 2011-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Has to Love One's Own Nipples First, I Suppose
Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.
Bus Stop
England
...and I'll Propose to You.
Dude: Just press your nipple up against the glass.
Roller Derby Game
Victoria
Canadia
Overheard by: Jay
Categories: Canadia | Guys | Nipples | Offers and requests | Posted 2010-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Have Mom and Dad Been Telling You, Anyway?
Girl, watching painting: That's a girl, she's got those things. (points to nipples)
Boy: It's a boy! Grown-up boys have those, too. I've seen them.
Girl: It's a girl!
Boy: No, boys have them too; they just don't do as much. The girls' milk, the boys' don't.
Art Gallery
Portland, Oregon
It Takes a While to Take a Cheez Whiz
Girl in stall with open door: I got cheese on my nipples!
Girl outside stall, to passerby: Sorry.
Girl in stall, in husky voice: I got cheese between my balls.
Girl outside stall: I'm so sorry.
Girl in stall: I'm so cheesy, sometimes I melt!
Women's Restroom, Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
The World's Shortest Infant-Care Book
Tan, blonde, 40-something woman: Just stick 'em on your nipples, it'll be okay.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: perplexed chai drinker
Categories: Advice | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Including Her Back?
Guy: How many nipples does Julie have, again?
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: hopefully not enough to breastfeed quintuplets
I Was Hoping to Avoid the Disney Store
Queer: I told you they wouldn't have nipple stars!
Girl: Why the hell would they not have nipple stars? It's a hot topic, they should have nipple stars!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Shopper
Try Reading to Them or Something
Loud girl to friend: Calm your nipples, bitch!
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
If Porn Sites Sold Word-a-Day Calendars
Guy in courtyard: Areolas! Areolas! Areolas! Aaaareeeeoooolaaaas! Areolas! Areolas!
Voice from window: What the fuck?
Guy: Areolas!
Kent, Ohio
Earlier Today?
Teenage boy: Hey, James, don't you remember when you stuck Smarties down your shirt and rubbed them on your nipples?
On the Bus
Canadia
Overheard by: Kels
Damn IRS!
Married man at party: They went after my nipples!
Washington
Overheard by: Salazar
Categories: Guys | Nipples | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...About the DVD Release Of Happy Feet
Man: My nipples are exploding with excitement!
Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Me too
Categories: Default | Feelings | Guys | Massachusetts | Nipples | Public transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And When I Moved They Followed Me, Like Eyes
Hipster to boyfriend: There are certain places that you expect a woman's nipples to be, and hers were not in any of those places.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Well I Got Into the Sorority, Didn't I?
Girl to another standing outside business office: So did you smack her titties?
College Building
Wisconsin
Are They Telling You the Future?
Male professor: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Female professor: Yes!
Male professor: That is neat.
Oaxaca
Mexico
Overheard by: entiendo
Does It Make My Breasts Look Phoney?
Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.
Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Jo
Categories: Body parts | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Malls | Nevada | Nipples | Teens | Posted 2009-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then There Are the Brave Few Who Would Join Me on This Pole
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing...a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples--and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, "Eh, I can always drop the class."
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
Categories: California | Class | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Hair | Names | Nipples | Teachers | Posted 2009-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Auditions for the Next Forced-Sterilization Poster Girl
Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!
Newton, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Family ties | Food | Girls | Kids | Massachusetts | Nipples | Posted 2009-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're Always Handy When You Can't Find a Bottle Opener
Girl: So what do you think about Daniel getting a makeover, Patrick?
Guy: I dig razor-sharp nipples.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Ben
What the Song "Twist and Shout" Really Means
Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it...I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.
overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
But I Will
Teen gay guy: Hey, do you ever color your nipples?
Teen girl: Huh?
Teen gay guy: When you get bored you, don't take a Sharpie and color your nipples? (pulls up shirt and points) See, this one's pink and this one's blue.
Teen girl: Um...no, I don't.
Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
That's One Way to Describe Our Healthcare System
Professor: It's like pouring milk on the floor and putting your baby in it. Not as efficient as a nipple.
University of Vermont
The Two Types of Feminists, Encapsulated
Female student #1: I think Picasso painted them as nudes to liberate women; to show that they're human beings.
Female student #2: I think he just liked tits.
French Class
UMass, Amherst
Categories: Class | Compare and contrast | Default | Gender issues | Girls | Massachusetts | Nipples | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2008-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mom Still Isn't Speaking to Me
Frat guy to others: I can't believe I puked all over her tits last night. I was so fucking drunk.
University District
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Yujin
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Frat boy types | Nipples | Sexuality | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wikipedia Always Leaves Out the Important Information
Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!
Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: crafty biotech
Categories: California | Default | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Restaurants | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Be Departing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off
Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.
American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Georgia | Music | Nipples | Offers and requests | Pilots | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Butterball Turkey Hotline Gets Flooded With Calls During the Holidays
Parking lot attendant on phone: Whenever I try to do that my nipples just get really stretched out.
Chapel Hill
University of North Carolina
Categories: Default | Employees | Nipples | North Carolina | On the phone | Posted 2008-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Totally!
Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no...I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?
Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Default | Girls | Hair | Maryland | Nipples | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2008-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Besides, Your Rendition of "Gettin' Juggy With It" Was Not an Appropriate Oral Report
Sociology professor: It takes a sociologist to take the fun out of jugs--but it's a living.
University of Montevallo
Montevallo, Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Colleges & Universities | Default | Jobs & Careers | Nipples | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Skim- I've Been Dieting
Girl: My boyfriend sucked my nipples so hard that I started producing baby milk.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Who We Are As Kids Is Who We Are in Life
Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor's boys my boobs so they'd give me candy? Bet you're glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that's changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur's night when you went to the strip club with the guys!
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Categories: Candy | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Memory lane | Money | Nipples | Offers and requests | Sexuality | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-11-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But for a Simple $5 a Day, You Can Help Save Just One
Professor: America has a terrible problem with nipples.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: tru dat?
...I'm Transferring to Vassar, Where They Understand My Needs
Dude: Unless you can show me one big titted cat!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | New York | Nipples | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In This Case, Even Dad Would Agree
(outside Abercrombie & Fitch)
Little boy, pointing at picture of shirtless male model: Look mommy, nipples!
Mother: Yes, honey, nipples. We aren't supposed to be looking at nipples.
Rockaway Townsquare Mall
Rockaway Township, New Jersey
Overheard by: We Aren't?
She Was Like, "Your Dad Really Enjoys Puttin' on the Ritz, Honey!"
20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, "Whoa, mom--your nipples are like top hats!"
Kasey's Tavern
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sara
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Illinois | Nipples | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Which Is Why You Kick Ass at Supermarket Sweep
Teenage boy to girlfriend: You have the advantage, because you can use your boobs to carry things.
Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Callie
You Don't Expect That During Dental X-Rays
Girl on phone: Yeah, and your boobs hang out! It's weird!
College Station, Texas
Who Doesn't Like Bill Murray?
Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.
Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
But I'm Half Gay So It's Acceptable, Right?
Extremely effeminate boy (taking deep breath): So...I think I am bi. (flips hair)
Blonde girl (flipping page in magazine, sounding bored): Hmmm. Are you?
Extremely effeminate boy: Yes! (flips hair) I am bi!
Blonde girl: Well, duh. You never stop checking out other guys!
Extremely effeminate boy: I'm not gay, though. My mom thought I was gay.
Blonde girl: I know you're not gay. (pause) For one thing, you are looking at my boobs right now.
Extremely effeminate boy: Oh. Right.
Blonde girl: You feel like stopping?
Extremely effeminate boy: ...not particularly.
Washington Square Park
New York City, New York
Categories: Bi-curious | Default | Gender issues | Girls | Guys | New York | Nipples | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Was the Thesis of My Last Biology Paper
Thug #1: Everybody calls that girl "Orangutan titties."
Thug #2: What? Why?
Thug #1: She's the one that flashed everybody back in freshman year at that one assembly, and her titties be all pointy and shit.
Thug #2: I remember that shit, that was pretty fuckin' funny.
Thug #3 (after a long pause): Man, orangutans are fuckin' weird.
Thug #1: Yeah, monkeys be fucked up.
MDN High School, Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: I saw this whole assembly thing, too.
Categories: Animals | Arizona | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Names | Nipples | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Thugs | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Tell the World!
Guy: Dude, his nipples are like as big as my pecs!
Girl: ...people can hear you here.
Stamp Student Union
University of Maryland
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Girls | Maryland | Nipples | Posted 2008-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wolf Titties Are Hot This Year
Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple... He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!
Starbucks
Hollywood, California
Categories: Animals | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Nipples | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: They Rejected Me
Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.
Colorado University
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Guys | Nipples | On the phone | Philosophy | Politics | Words | Posted 2008-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Told Them They Were "Perky" the Other Day, and They Sobbed and Called Me Cruel
(two guys peeing next to each other at the urinals)
Pretty boy #1: I think I have sensitive wrists.
Pretty boy #2: You have sensitive nipples!
Bowling Alley Bathroom
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: Liz
It's Almost a Great Title for a Country Song
20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: 5 rows up
Categories: Creepsters | Default | Guys | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did the Left One Ever Get Over That Cold?
Mid-twenties guy leaving voice mail: Hey baby, just calling to say hi. How are your boobs?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: brickskeller
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Competing on Any Reality Show, in a Nutshell
Guy: It's like playing hopscotch with your shirt off and the little kids are like: "Mommy, look at his boobies!" and I'm like: "Yeah. Look at my boobies."
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: well that's neat
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Fat people | Gender issues | Guys | Kids | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We've Lived a Lifetime in This One Elevator Ride
Professionally dressed Asian girl (in a low voice): I can't believe you showed that girl your pubes, man!
Short, pudgy Asian guy (in a low indignant voice): Well *I* can't believe you showed her your innie nipple!
Elevator, Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Nipples | San Francisco | Posted 2008-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Babysit Those Brats
Mellow teen: I got slapped in the tit with a dildo last night.
New Paltz, New York
Most of Life's Problems Can Be Solved with a Pair of Tweezers and a Bottle of Wine
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: "Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children." I would do it if I didn't have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
As Explained in Survival of the Tittiest
Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can't have small boobs. That's like impossible. It's, like, natural selection or something.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Massachusetts | Nipples | Pregnancy | Science | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Something Just Expanded --Possibly My Awareness
Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?
Starbuck's, Castro Street
Mountain View, California
Overheard by: touché
Categories: Baristas | Bringing it back to you | California | Girls | Guys | Money | Nipples | Questions | Restaurants | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the Most Forgetful Woman in Dallas
Woman: I found the nipple! Crisis averted.
N. Bishop Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Faith
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Nipples | Texas | Threats | Women | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Boys Are So Frightened of Wolf Titties
Sorority girl: Yeah, he like, totally judges me for having fourteen nipples.
Georgia Tech
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Georgia | Nipples | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'd Rather See You Tweak It a Little
Grad student on her Gender History peer review: I don't feel the need to keep the nipple section.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Andrea
Are You Sure You're Using Them Correctly?
Guy to girlfriend: I like when we're both using our laptops and I lick your nipple and it shocks me, like licking a nine-volt battery.
Palo Alto, California
Categories: California | Guys | Laptops | Licking | Nipples | Posted 2007-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock
Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.
Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii
Categories: Frat boy types | Hawaii | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not the Worst Graduation Photo I've Ever Seen...
Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It's me with no shirt on... And I was rubbin' m'nipples.
Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey
Categories: Couples | New Jersey | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Now It's Payback Time
Girl: Hey! That guy pierced my nipple on Friday!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Nipples | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Glory Be to God for Dappled Things
Chick: ... So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning...
London
England
Overheard by: gin
But They Hate for You to Mess with Them
Girl: Well, I mean, skunks do have nipples...
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Nipples | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
