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Gay Marriage Should Be Legalized Just for the Ceremonies

20-something hot girl to friend: He tore off all his clothes, threw him on his back on the bar, then covered his nipples in whipped cream.

Denver, Colorado


Categories: Clothes | Colorado | Food | Girls | Nipples | Sex | Posted 2011-06-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's How Studying Is Done, Right?

Frat dude to another: I'm going to the library and I'm going to study my little nipples off.

University of Colorado

Overheard by: OMH


Categories: Colorado | Education | Frat boy types | Nipples | Weirdness | Posted 2011-01-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

One Has to Love One's Own Nipples First, I Suppose

Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.

Bus Stop
England


Categories: England | Nipples | Teens | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-12-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...and I'll Propose to You.

Dude: Just press your nipple up against the glass.

Roller Derby Game
Victoria
Canadia


Overheard by: Jay


Categories: Canadia | Guys | Nipples | Offers and requests | Posted 2010-08-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

What Have Mom and Dad Been Telling You, Anyway?

Girl, watching painting: That's a girl, she's got those things. (points to nipples)
Boy: It's a boy! Grown-up boys have those, too. I've seen them.
Girl: It's a girl!
Boy: No, boys have them too; they just don't do as much. The girls' milk, the boys' don't.

Art Gallery
Portland, Oregon


Categories: Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Nipples | Oregon | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It Takes a While to Take a Cheez Whiz

Girl in stall with open door: I got cheese on my nipples!
Girl outside stall, to passerby: Sorry.
Girl in stall, in husky voice: I got cheese between my balls.
Girl outside stall: I'm so sorry.
Girl in stall: I'm so cheesy, sometimes I melt!

Women's Restroom, Public Library
Eugene, Oregon


Categories: Balls | Food | Girls | Nipples | Oregon | Restroom | Posted 2010-07-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The World's Shortest Infant-Care Book

Tan, blonde, 40-something woman: Just stick 'em on your nipples, it'll be okay.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: perplexed chai drinker


Categories: Advice | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-04-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Including Her Back?

Guy: How many nipples does Julie have, again?

Ottawa
Canadia


Overheard by: hopefully not enough to breastfeed quintuplets


Categories: Canadia | Guys | Nipples | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Was Hoping to Avoid the Disney Store

Queer: I told you they wouldn't have nipple stars!
Girl: Why the hell would they not have nipple stars? It's a hot topic, they should have nipple stars!

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Shopper


Categories: Fashion | Girls | Nipples | Ohio | Queers | Undies | Weirdness | Posted 2010-01-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Try Reading to Them or Something

Loud girl to friend: Calm your nipples, bitch!

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Sarah


Categories: Friends | Girls | Insults | New York | Nipples | Posted 2009-10-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If Porn Sites Sold Word-a-Day Calendars

Guy in courtyard: Areolas! Areolas! Areolas! Aaaareeeeoooolaaaas! Areolas! Areolas!
Voice from window: What the fuck?
Guy: Areolas!

Kent, Ohio


Categories: Guys | Insults | Nipples | Ohio | Strangers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Earlier Today?

Teenage boy: Hey, James, don't you remember when you stuck Smarties down your shirt and rubbed them on your nipples?

On the Bus
Canadia


Overheard by: Kels


Categories: Bus | Canadia | Candy | Clothes | Memory lane | Nipples | Questions | Teens | Posted 2009-09-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Damn IRS!

Married man at party: They went after my nipples!

Washington

Overheard by: Salazar


Categories: Guys | Nipples | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...About the DVD Release Of Happy Feet

Man: My nipples are exploding with excitement!

Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts


Overheard by: Me too


Categories: Default | Feelings | Guys | Massachusetts | Nipples | Public transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And When I Moved They Followed Me, Like Eyes

Hipster to boyfriend: There are certain places that you expect a woman's nipples to be, and hers were not in any of those places.

Cedar Rapids, Iowa


Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Hipsters | Iowa | Nipples | Weirdness | Posted 2009-05-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Well I Got Into the Sorority, Didn't I?

Girl to another standing outside business office: So did you smack her titties?

College Building
Wisconsin


Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Nipples | Questions | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2009-04-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Are They Telling You the Future?

Male professor: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Female professor: Yes!
Male professor: That is neat.

Oaxaca
Mexico


Overheard by: entiendo


Categories: Default | Girls | Guys | Nipples | North America | Questions | Teachers | Words | Posted 2009-03-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Does It Make My Breasts Look Phoney?

Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.

Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada


Overheard by: Jo


Categories: Body parts | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Malls | Nevada | Nipples | Teens | Posted 2009-02-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then There Are the Brave Few Who Would Join Me on This Pole

Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing...a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples--and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, "Eh, I can always drop the class."

Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California

At Auditions for the Next Forced-Sterilization Poster Girl

Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!

Newton, Massachusetts


Categories: Default | Family ties | Food | Girls | Kids | Massachusetts | Nipples | Posted 2009-01-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They're Always Handy When You Can't Find a Bottle Opener

Girl: So what do you think about Daniel getting a makeover, Patrick?
Guy: I dig razor-sharp nipples.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Ben


Categories: Default | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Utah | Posted 2009-01-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

What the Song "Twist and Shout" Really Means

Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it...I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.

overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: overheardatyale


Categories: Default | Employees | Nipples | Orgasm | Overheard at Yale | Penis | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But I Will

Teen gay guy: Hey, do you ever color your nipples?
Teen girl: Huh?
Teen gay guy: When you get bored you, don't take a Sharpie and color your nipples? (pulls up shirt and points) See, this one's pink and this one's blue.
Teen girl: Um...no, I don't.

Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa


Categories: Default | Girls | Guys | Nipples | Oregon | Queers | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's One Way to Describe Our Healthcare System

Professor: It's like pouring milk on the floor and putting your baby in it. Not as efficient as a nipple.

University of Vermont


Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Kids | Nipples | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Two Types of Feminists, Encapsulated

Female student #1: I think Picasso painted them as nudes to liberate women; to show that they're human beings.
Female student #2: I think he just liked tits.

French Class
UMass, Amherst

Mom Still Isn't Speaking to Me

Frat guy to others: I can't believe I puked all over her tits last night. I was so fucking drunk.

University District
Seattle, Washington


Overheard by: Yujin


Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Frat boy types | Nipples | Sexuality | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wikipedia Always Leaves Out the Important Information

Guy: I just want to know how big his nipples are!

Revolution Cafe
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: crafty biotech


Categories: California | Default | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Restaurants | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-24 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We'll Be Departing Just As Soon As These Pills Wear Off

Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice)
: Thank you very much.


American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia

The Butterball Turkey Hotline Gets Flooded With Calls During the Holidays

Parking lot attendant on phone: Whenever I try to do that my nipples just get really stretched out.

Chapel Hill
University of North Carolina


Categories: Default | Employees | Nipples | North Carolina | On the phone | Posted 2008-12-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Totally!

Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no...I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde
: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?


Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland

Besides, Your Rendition of "Gettin' Juggy With It" Was Not an Appropriate Oral Report

Sociology professor: It takes a sociologist to take the fun out of jugs--but it's a living.

University of Montevallo
Montevallo, Alabama

It's Skim- I've Been Dieting

Girl: My boyfriend sucked my nipples so hard that I started producing baby milk.

www.overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: overheardatyale


Categories: Default | Food | Girls | Kids | Licking | Nipples | Overheard at Yale | Posted 2008-12-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Who We Are As Kids Is Who We Are in Life

Friend #1: Do you remember when we were little and I used to show the neighbor's boys my boobs so they'd give me candy? Bet you're glad I stopped doing that!
Friend #2: What are you talking about? The only thing that's changed is your form of payment! You just finished telling everyone not two minutes ago how last week you won $200 on amateur's night when you went to the strip club with the guys!

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

But for a Simple $5 a Day, You Can Help Save Just One

Professor: America has a terrible problem with nipples.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: tru dat?


Categories: Default | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...I'm Transferring to Vassar, Where They Understand My Needs

Dude: Unless you can show me one big titted cat!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York


Overheard by: Russ

In This Case, Even Dad Would Agree

(outside Abercrombie & Fitch)
Little boy, pointing at picture of shirtless male model
: Look mommy, nipples!

Mother: Yes, honey, nipples. We aren't supposed to be looking at nipples.

Rockaway Townsquare Mall
Rockaway Township, New Jersey


Overheard by: We Aren't?


Categories: Default | Etiquette | Kids | Kids | Malls | Moms | New Jersey | Nipples | Posted 2008-11-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She Was Like, "Your Dad Really Enjoys Puttin' on the Ritz, Honey!"

20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, "Whoa, mom--your nipples are like top hats!"

Kasey's Tavern
Chicago, Illinois


Overheard by: Sara


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Illinois | Nipples | Posted 2008-10-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Which Is Why You Kick Ass at Supermarket Sweep

Teenage boy to girlfriend: You have the advantage, because you can use your boobs to carry things.

Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia


Overheard by: Callie


Categories: Australia | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Nipples | Teens | Posted 2008-10-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Don't Expect That During Dental X-Rays

Girl on phone: Yeah, and your boobs hang out! It's weird!

College Station, Texas


Categories: Default | Girls | Nipples | On the phone | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Who Doesn't Like Bill Murray?

Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.

Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri


Overheard by: JD


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Coworkers | Default | Feelings | Food | Girls | Missouri | Nipples | Sexuality | Posted 2008-10-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But I'm Half Gay So It's Acceptable, Right?

Extremely effeminate boy (taking deep breath): So...I think I am bi. (flips hair)
Blonde girl (flipping page in magazine, sounding bored): Hmmm. Are you?
Extremely effeminate boy: Yes! (flips hair) I am bi!
Blonde girl: Well, duh. You never stop checking out other guys!
Extremely effeminate boy: I'm not gay, though. My mom thought I was gay.
Blonde girl: I know you're not gay. (pause) For one thing, you are looking at my boobs right now.
Extremely effeminate boy: Oh. Right.
Blonde girl: You feel like stopping?
Extremely effeminate boy: ...not particularly.

Washington Square Park
New York City, New York


Categories: Bi-curious | Default | Gender issues | Girls | Guys | New York | Nipples | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-09-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Which Was the Thesis of My Last Biology Paper

Thug #1: Everybody calls that girl "Orangutan titties."
Thug #2: What? Why?
Thug #1: She's the one that flashed everybody back in freshman year at that one assembly, and her titties be all pointy and shit.
Thug #2: I remember that shit, that was pretty fuckin' funny.
Thug #3 (after a long pause): Man, orangutans are fuckin' weird.
Thug #1: Yeah, monkeys be fucked up.

MDN High School, Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: I saw this whole assembly thing, too.

I'll Tell the World!

Guy: Dude, his nipples are like as big as my pecs!
Girl: ...people can hear you here.

Stamp Student Union
University of Maryland

Wolf Titties Are Hot This Year

Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple... He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!

Starbucks
Hollywood, California

Translation: They Rejected Me

Loud man on cell: Harvard is the crusty nipple of liberalism.

Colorado University
Denver, Colorado

I Told Them They Were "Perky" the Other Day, and They Sobbed and Called Me Cruel

(two guys peeing next to each other at the urinals)
Pretty boy #1
: I think I have sensitive wrists.

Pretty boy #2: You have sensitive nipples!

Bowling Alley Bathroom
Dayton, Ohio


Overheard by: Liz


Categories: Default | Friends | Gripes | Guys | Hands | Nipples | Ohio | Restroom | Posted 2008-07-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Almost a Great Title for a Country Song

20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: 5 rows up


Categories: Creepsters | Default | Guys | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Did the Left One Ever Get Over That Cold?

Mid-twenties guy leaving voice mail: Hey baby, just calling to say hi. How are your boobs?

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard by: brickskeller


Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Competing on Any Reality Show, in a Nutshell

Guy: It's like playing hopscotch with your shirt off and the little kids are like: "Mommy, look at his boobies!" and I'm like: "Yeah. Look at my boobies."

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: well that's neat

We've Lived a Lifetime in This One Elevator Ride

Professionally dressed Asian girl (in a low voice): I can't believe you showed that girl your pubes, man!
Short, pudgy Asian guy (in a low indignant voice): Well *I* can't believe you showed her your innie nipple!

Elevator, Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California


Overheard by: McNasty


Categories: Asians | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Nipples | San Francisco | Posted 2008-06-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That's the Last Time I'll Babysit Those Brats

Mellow teen: I got slapped in the tit with a dildo last night.

New Paltz, New York


Categories: Default | Girls | New York | Nipples | Sexuality | Teens | Toys | Violence | Posted 2008-06-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Most of Life's Problems Can Be Solved with a Pair of Tweezers and a Bottle of Wine

Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: "Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children." I would do it if I didn't have hairy nipples.

Library
Plano, Texas


Categories: Default | Guys | Hair | Nipples | Pregnancy | Queers | Relationships | Sexuality | Texas | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

As Explained in Survival of the Tittiest

Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can't have small boobs. That's like impossible. It's, like, natural selection or something.

Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts


Overheard by: Rebecca

Something Just Expanded --Possibly My Awareness

Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?

Starbuck's, Castro Street
Mountain View, California


Overheard by: touché

Meet the Most Forgetful Woman in Dallas

Woman: I found the nipple! Crisis averted.

N. Bishop Avenue
Dallas, Texas


Overheard by: Faith


Categories: Health & Hygiene | Nipples | Texas | Threats | Women | Posted 2008-04-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Boys Are So Frightened of Wolf Titties

Sorority girl: Yeah, he like, totally judges me for having fourteen nipples.

Georgia Tech
Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: Georgia | Nipples | Sorority types | Posted 2008-02-13 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We'd Rather See You Tweak It a Little

Grad student on her Gender History peer review: I don't feel the need to keep the nipple section.

University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma


Overheard by: Andrea


Categories: Nipples | Oklahoma | Students | Posted 2007-12-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Are You Sure You're Using Them Correctly?

Guy to girlfriend: I like when we're both using our laptops and I lick your nipple and it shocks me, like licking a nine-volt battery.

Palo Alto, California


Categories: California | Guys | Laptops | Licking | Nipples | Posted 2007-07-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock

Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.

Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii


Categories: Frat boy types | Hawaii | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Not the Worst Graduation Photo I've Ever Seen...

Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It's me with no shirt on... And I was rubbin' m'nipples.

Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey


Categories: Couples | New Jersey | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Now It's Payback Time

Girl: Hey! That guy pierced my nipple on Friday!

Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com


Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Nipples | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-05-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Glory Be to God for Dappled Things

Chick: ... So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning...

London
England


Overheard by: gin


Categories: Chicks | England | Gossip | Nipples | Posted 2007-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But They Hate for You to Mess with Them

Girl: Well, I mean, skunks do have nipples...

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com


Categories: Animals | Chicks | Nipples | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-03-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook