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Perhaps Some Clove Cigarettes Would Help
Geek #1: But I'm a semi-Mac user! I can't have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean...
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Beardless Mac User
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Friends | Hair | Shaving | Technology | Posted 2008-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus We'd Have to Be Open and Honest About Our Feelings
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I'm so glad you two aren't black! Then I'd have to put all those little beads in your hair and--well I'm just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Most of Life's Problems Can Be Solved with a Pair of Tweezers and a Bottle of Wine
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: "Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children." I would do it if I didn't have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
And You Could Actually Sing
Guy to girl: You know, Mandy Moore made a bad decision going brunette. Now she looks like you, if you were a crack whore.
Oberlin College
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: emily
Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Hair | Insults | Ohio | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Good Ever Comes of Communication
Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That's it? Just "yep"?
Husband: Looks very different. It'll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
You Never Did That When We Were Together, Either
Young guy on cell: You got a bikini wax?... Really?... How come you never did that when we were together?... Oh, so you're a woman now?
7-Eleven
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Hair | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Some Cultures, That's the Highest Compliment
Drunk girl yelling to bald guy from car window: You left your toupee in my vagina!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Paige & Liz
Georgia State Penitentiary?
Freshman #1: So... where is he from?
Freshman #2: He's from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Categories: Ass | Colleges & Universities | Guys | Hair | Missouri | Questions | Students | US Geography | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
Even We Winced at This One
Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes...
Man #2: Oh, dude, I'm gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn't mine, dude.
Gym
Oregon
I'm... Black?
Traffic cop: She said, "Do you like it?" and I was like, "Yeah, it looks really nice." And then she said, "Is it subtle?" and I was like "Jenny*, you're a black woman with orange and yellow hair!"
Plymouth, Michigan
Overheard by: Morgz
And Cute Buttplug!
Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: "Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty."
Women's Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Compliments | Default | Hair | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2008-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Lacked the Sweet Aroma Of Chemicals and Seared Flesh
Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.
Melbourne
Australia
The Plumber Says You Can Have It If You Want It
Girl on phone: Hey, honey, good news -- I can get you your hair back.
Fortitude Valley
Brisbane
Australia
Categories: Australia | Default | Girls | Hair | On the phone | Posted 2008-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Hairy As Her Chin, but Close
Cub Scout #1: Your dad has hairy arms.
Cub Scout #2: You know what else is hairy? His penis!
Cub Scout #1: Yeah. So is my mom's.
Cub Scout Camp
Pennsylvania
Categories: Body parts | Hair | Kids | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-02-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, in Some Remote Regions, There Are People Who Don't Throw Up after Meals?
Guy #1: You mean, some girls have naturally curly hair? I thought they just got it permed.
Guy #2: You lived in L.A. for too long.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Enigmae
Just So You're Disfigured in Some Way
Old teacher, petting student's hair: Your hair is so pretty. When you graduate, you should donate it to the blind.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shakananananawanda
Categories: Advice | Hair | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Freedom Fro?
Dude, watching Unbreakable: Look, Samuel L. Jackson has slave hair here.
Chick: No, that's not slave hair. It's too coiffed. It's, like, uppity hair.
Dude: No, look at it from the front. Totally slave hair.
Chick: No! That's more like just-got-set-free hair.
Dude: Okay, fine. Reconstruction hair, then.
Chick: Exactly.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Categories: California | Friends | Hair | Posted 2007-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Life in Oklahoma's Impossible without Willful Ignorance
Mom #1: Well, you are blonde, you know!
Mom #2: Yeah, well, I'm not blonde everywhere!
Mom #1: Well, I don't know how that works...
Panera Bread
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Freelance Mama
Wasn't That the Hairstyle of the Huns?
Girl: I hate faux-hawks. I can't believe they're coming back in style. They're the worst hairstyle ever.
Mother: I think mullets are the worst hairstyle ever.
Girl: At least mullets are honest!
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: J
Dude, at Denny's That Gets You Free Coffee
Dude: Oh, great. Now I can be the asshole with a unibrow.
Denny's
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: aimc
Want Me to Check?
Woman: Don't I strike you as blonde?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Bimbettes | Hair | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not That I Stroke It in Your Sleep or Anything
Teen girl: Tina*, this corn husk totally feels like your vagina hair!
World's Largest Corn Maze
Dixon, California
Overheard by: Leslie
Categories: California | Hair | Teens | Posted 2007-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Pink Bow Might Be Pretty
Preppy teen girl #1: Well, do you like her?
Preppy teen girl #2: I mean, yeah, I like her... But she has got to do something about her mustache!
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Sam
You Could Finish It for Your 100th Birthday
Girlfriend: Have you ever touched another man's armpit hair?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Well, yours are really gossamer-y. If you shaved them off, you could weave a little swatch of, like, satin... And then you could make a quilt!
Boyfriend: Or a patchwork jacket!
Ypsilanti, Michigan
The Question Is, How Did You Find Out, and Why Do You Care?
Dazed guy: I didn't know leg hair could get split ends.
Great Mall
Milpitas, California
Categories: California | Guys | Hair | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Happened to Sean Connery in Goldfinger
30-ish blonde: Yeah, my three o'clock appointment canceled, so I lasered off my pubes.
Bar
Newcastle, Oklahoma
Just Keep Watering It, Sweetie
Little girl: Mom, why don't I have a hairy butt like you?
Bathroom, AA flight 329
Categories: Airports & flights | Ass | Glad the condom broke | Hair | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like What a Tonsillectomy Does to Your Singing Voice
Hubby: Man, when I trim my ass hair my farts sound weird!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hair | Hubbies | Overheard in California's Journal | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
