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Or Is It "Giving Head"?
Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that's not right! What are they called if they're for women? Blow-something. Blowjobs?
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: econ 208
Categories: BJs | Hair | Overheard at McGill | Teachers | Words | Posted 2011-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or I Did Until I Realized How Many Doors It Opens
Girl: I hate those girls that are like, "Oh, look at me, I can dance with my hand in my hair!"
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
That's Just Crazy Enough to Work!
Drunk guy: Yeah, well, you could spunk on her face, then lick your jizz off her dreadlocks.
Pub
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
...Or at Least I Try to Forget.
Daughter: You don't remember his mom?
Mother: Not the one with the cool back hair.
Canton, Ohio
Overheard by: Kaylah
What Do You Mean You're Bringing Potato Salad Instead?
African-American man on phone: Well, now, you just bring your hair... and you be on your way.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: serial forgetter of hair
Categories: Black people | Hair | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whereas Mine Is Much More Of a Peeing Plum
Girl, smelling another girl's hair: You're right! It does smell like a sweaty peach.
Australia
Categories: Australia | Fruit | Girls | Hair | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Zoinks
Heavily tattooed man: She got this new haircut; it's short, but it's kind of... awkward.
Heavily tattooed woman: Like a bowl cut?
Heavily tattooed man: No, kind of like... What's-his-name, from Scooby Doo.
Heavily tattooed woman: Velma?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: jira monkey
Categories: Beauty | Hair | Hipsters | Pennsylvania | TV shows | Posted 2010-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Christian Siriano Has Difficulty Getting Dates
College girl: We blew a fuse in our room last night. Just in our room, not the rest of the hall.
Science professor: And what did you do to solve this problem?
College girl: I cried.
Professor: That doesn't solve the problem!
College girl: Well, half of my hair was dry and the other half wasn't!
Professor: You were not bilaterally symmetrical. That can be a problem.
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
...And the Hendersons
Finely bearded man, loudly and distinctly among crowd: Big. Hairy. Ballsack.
University of Illinois
Overheard by: Kelsey
Like I Did That Time You Asked Me Out
Emo kid: Old people see me on the street with my bright pink hair and my studded collar and my eyeliner, and they hate me!
Girl: If I was old and I saw you, I would just laugh.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay
Categories: Age and ageing | Fashion | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Hair | Massachusetts | Posted 2010-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If We've Learned Nothing Else from There's Something About Mary, It's That.
Girl #1: It's my hair, isn't it?
Girl #2: Your hair is begging to be oversexed.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Bea
Categories: Girls | Hair | New Zealand | Sex | Posted 2010-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Also Like All the Men in Troy
Girl #1: I used to shave my armpits before I even had hair, just to feel like a woman. You know?
Girl #2: (nods)
Guelph
Canadia
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Gender issues | Girls | Hair | Shaving | Posted 2010-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Hair Totally Spoiled the Sodomy
Gay #1, to gay #2 in passing: Your hair's getting so long!
Gay #2: Thanks!
Gay #1, cheerfully: It wasn't a compliment!
Muncie, Indiana
Categories: Compliments | Hair | Indiana | Queers | Posted 2010-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, You Have to Have Priorities, Right?
Female health care professional: I was taking prenatal vitamins, but it made my hair grow really fast, and when I bleached my hair and it grew out too fast it looked really bad, so I stopped taking them.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Employees | Hair | Health & Hygiene | Washington | Posted 2010-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And They Pay Me for It!
20-something girl: I love hairdressing, it's the best job. I get to talk about me all day long to everybody!
City Bus
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Rose
Categories: Australia | Bus | Girls | Hair | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2010-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...of Death!
20-something girl looking at picture: Isn't he so hot with his nunchucks?"
20-something guy friend: Those are called "muttonchops."
Bar
Connecticut
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Connecticut | Friends | Girls | Guys | Hair | Words | Posted 2010-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're Like the IPhones Of People!
Tall black girl with fauxhawk: I don't know why everyone doesn't have an Asian fetish! They're pocket sized and stunning!
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Connecticut | Fashion | Hair | Posted 2010-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My New Cream Rinse Is Unstoppable!
Jiu-Jitsu guy #1, rolling around and trying to choke the other: Oh, your hair's soft today.
Jiu-Jitsu guy #2: Thanks, I used herbal essence this morning.
Indiana University
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Guys | Hair | Indiana | Posted 2010-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now No One Can See My Tears
Emo teen boy #1 on whitewater raft ride: This ride is fucking shit! My shoes are like totally getting soaked.
Emo teen boy #2: It's getting in your hair.
(emo teen boy #1 pulls singlet over hair to protect it from the water)
Emo teen boy #3: Yeah, it's going all fucked.
Emo teen boy #1: No fucking way, it took us so long to straighten our hair this morning! This ride is fucking shit! Why is there so much water?!
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Dylan
It's Bad Enough the Devil's After Me for That French Manicure
Impassioned college girl: When will the gods stop punishing me for cutting my own bangs?!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: this too shall pass?
Categories: Beauty | Girls | Hair | Overheard in Minneapolis | Religion | Posted 2010-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Just Hate Myself, I Hate Who I Aspire to Be
Girl, covering hair: I have kinky hair (pause), kinky, kinky hair (pause), and I spent so long yesterday making it straight.
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
Categories: Beauty | Girls | Hair | Pennsylvania | Time Management | Posted 2010-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Day I'll Graduate to a Shot Of Tequila and a Strip Of Duct Tape
California blonde: Ohmigod, I wonder what their waxing is like in France?
California brunette: I dunno... I once waxed it all off, though.
California blonde: Really? How? I've only waxed my bikini line.
California brunette: I'd just had three glasses of wine and one of those waxing pots, because my dad's a hairdresser.
Paris
France
Overheard by: Freedom Waxing!
Categories: Drinking & drunks | France | Girls | Hair | Posted 2010-02-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Fat Elvis!
Grandmother to little boy: Elvis! Come here, we're going. (to store person) His mother was a big Elvis fan, so now he's a little Elvis.
Little boy: I have hair on my back!
Brisbane
Australia
Categories: About celebrities | Ass | Australia | Compare and contrast | Hair | Kids | Old folks | Posted 2010-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Does Whatever the Easter Bunny Tells Her
Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn't listen.
Birmingham, Alabama
Ones That Will Fit Over My Big-Boy Pull-Ups
Man in dressing room to employee waiting on him: Dude, I can see my ass hair. I'm a grown-ass man. Go find me some grown-ass man pants.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Larry Is a Girl?
College student #1: Larry's rug is a trap!
College student #2: Her rug has a penis?
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Larissa
Oh, Tina Turner, We Know.
Hungover girl: Oh my god! Look at my hair, it's a mess! I look like a horse's vagina!
Flight above London
England
That's What I Love About You-- You're Not Afraid to Take Risks
Girl #1: I pulled out my knuckle hair with my teeth just now.
Girl #2: What? What the hell?
Girl #1: I was bored. And I wanted to see what it would feel like.
(silence)
Girl #1: It felt like a pinch.
Columbia, Missouri
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Girls | Hair | Missouri | Sensory experiences | Wishes | Posted 2010-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hot That Sounds Depends on How Horny You Are
Nerd guy: Did you get a haircut?
Indie girl: No. Why?
Nerd guy: Your bangs are on the other side.
Indie girl: Oh, I didn't shower today.
Godfrey, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Hard to Imagine I'd Ever Get Sick Of Being Objectified
Gay guy: Then we can talk about boys more openly because I'll have long hair, and be pretty and have boobs!
Girl: They're not that fun...
Gay guy: Boobs aren't that fun?
Girl: No!
Pleasant Grove, Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Kindly Accept This Sperm As a Token Of My Sincerity
Art school hipster girl, in the middle of different conversation: Oh my god! I got my goddamned hair cut yesterday!
Art school hipster guy: I was gonna say in the car!
(art school hipster girl smiles with crazy eyes and mouth agape)
Art school hipster guy: No, seriously... It is so fresh.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Compliments | Georgia | Hair | Hipsters | Students | Posted 2009-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Ever Said Dating Teen Wolf Was Easy?
White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It's all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie...
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.
New Jersey
Introducing Madame Toussaud's Naughtiest Exhibition Yet
Enthusiastic undergraduate to group of friends: I never knew you could do that with wax!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Intrigued Grad Student
The Real Story Behind "The Rachel"
Party guy: Hey, you cut your hair.
Party girl: I had to.
Party guy: Why?
Party girl: Well, you threw up on it!
Party guy: Who cares if I threw up on it?
Party girl: I do!
Party guy: Oh. (walks off)
Austin, Texas
Categories: Cleanliness | Girls | Guys | Hair | Health & Hygiene | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Gonna Love Detroit, Sir
Social worker talking to hobo: What can I get for you, sir?
Hobo: How about a 9 mm semi-automatic gun?
Social worker: Well, I can't do that, but do you need bus tickets? Where are you going?
Hobo: Hell.
Social worker: Okay, I'll get those bus tickets then.
Hobo: Your hair's much nicer than mine.
Hospital
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: yooo
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Employees | Evil | Hair | Hobos | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, the One Where They Talk?
Teen girl #1: Do you think they have those other elephants here? You know, the old hairy ones?
Teen girl #2: Mammoths? No, I don't think they do. Aren't they extinct?
Teen girl #1: No, I'm pretty sure they have them at the Werribee zoo. Well, they were on that cartoon, with all the ice.
Zoo
Australia
Overheard by: Brydee
You're That Guy Every Day.
Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that "jizzed in my pants" guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.
Gainesville, Florida
But I Draw the Line at Moving to Seattle
White cube farmer to another: Chicks don't like dudes with umbrellas. They like wild and crazy guys who aren't afraid of getting their hair wet.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Hair | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Whiteys | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're Deep.
Bleached blonde, looking at hair dye: Oh! This is totally my hair color!
Brunette: No, it's not.
Bleached blonde: Well, it would be... If it changed.
Roscoe, Illinois
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Beauty Advisor
But I'll Require More Staring Time Before We Go Eat
Guy: Man, look at this guy! It's weird how they keep the eyelashes and hair on to keep them semi-human. You can see everything!
Girl: Um, are all penises so big?
Guy: I think it's due to preserving process.
Girl: I'm hungy.
Body Worlds Exhibit
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: 8lb Gem my ASS!!
Are You...Part Cat?
Teenage girl to friend: I feel like if you eat my hair, we'll be more connected.
Fair Haven, New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Friends | Hair | New Jersey | Relationships | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ladies, Please Watch Your Actions.
Female track jock, to friend: So I had this fucking hair up my fucking ass.
Private school football coach, overhearing: Ladies, please watch you language.
Female track jock: I had a hair up my butt.
El Paso, Texas
So Get Your Velma Over Here and Let's Party.
Man on cell, about his genitals: Yeah, it's shaped up like a 'fro on a Scooby Doo Chia Pet.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Balls | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Hair | On the phone | TV shows | Toys | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fabio's Kids Are Quite the Handful
Mother to daughter: I think it's time to cut your hair again.
Daughter: No! I don't want it cut! You only cut it a few weeks ago! It's not fair! Why can't I have long hair? (pointing at passenger) She has long hair! (pointing at girl) She has long hair. Everyone has long hair except for me!
Son, smugly: Except for boys. (pause) But daddy has long hair...
Daughter: Even daddy has long hair! She has long hair, she has long hair--everyone has long hair except for me!
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: Emily B.
Categories: Australia | Compare and contrast | Family | Family ties | Hair | Moms | Parenting | Siblings | Strangers | Posted 2009-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, or the Mescaline Is Finally Kicking In.
Man with Mohawk on cell: Okay, so I'm not technically the father but there are 27 baby boa constrictors over here that all have Mohawks.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: cgt
Categories: Animals | Family ties | Guys | Hair | Illinois | On the phone | Parenting | Posted 2009-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nobody Ever Asked Elvis That
14-year-old boy #1: Dude, try my sunnies on! They're super dark!
(boy #1 hands glasses over to boy #2)
14-year-old boy #2: Cool, they are pretty dark!
14-year-old boy #3: Hey, cool! They totally go with your hair!
14-year-old boy #2: Are you queer?
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
The Miss America Pageant Regretting Bringing on Marilyn Manson As a Judge
Girl to friend: When I think beautiful, I think green hair.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Amused shopper
Categories: Beauty | California | Friends | Girls | Hair | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Little Pig Is Self-Conscious About Her Chinny Chin Chin
Girlfriend: I have to shave every single day.
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah?
Girlfriend: Yeah... do I have any hairs sticking out on my chin right now?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: Ian
That Works More Often Than You'd Think
Crazy hobo: I like your hair.
Girl: Thanks.
Crazy hobo: Can I have it?
Girl: No, it's mine.
Crazy hobo: Oh, okay.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Compliments | Crazies | Girls | Hair | Hobos | Illinois | Offers and requests | Posted 2009-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shall We Try "P" for "Polanski"?
Guy #1: What aisle are we looking for?
Guy #2: We should be looking under teen girls' rugs.
Guy #1: Yikes!
Furniture Store
New York City, New York
If We Could Transcribe Chimpanzee Conversations
Angsty teen #1: Why do you hate him?
Angsty teen #2: Because he's always putting shit in my hair.
Angsty teen #1: There are a million better reasons you could hate him for.
Angsty teen #2: Like what?
Angsty teen #1: Being him.
Bus Stop
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: She should be a therapist.
While Jabbering Breathless Nonsense Into My Bluetooth Headset
Young woman with cute hair to friends: I like to run through the field and play with my hair!
Lakeside Park
Chicago, Illinois
Who Also Sweats Through His Pants
Babysitter: My dog gets hot walking.
Seven-year-old: How can you tell?
Babysitter: He sticks his tongue out, and his fur is really warm.
Seven-year-old: Sometimes when I'm out in the sun my hair feels hot.
Babysitter: Yeah, now imagine you have hair all over your body.
Seven-year-old: Like my dad.
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Animals | Babysitters | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Hair | Kids | Kids | Missouri | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on Logo
Guy with girl #1, yelling: Oh, hey! How's it going? I love your haircut!
Guy with girl #2, walking in opposite direction: Thank you.
Guy #1: Thank you!
Guy #2: You're welcome.
Guy #1: I love you!
Guy #2: I love you, too.
Olympia, Washington
Categories: Compliments | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Hair | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2009-07-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mr. Bradshaw Sometimes Needs Help with the Basics
Loud guy on cell: Terry! Terry! Listen to me! Use that shampoo! And the conditioner! Get your hair the same way it was last week! (pause) Okay, see you there. Bye.
Oxford Street
London
England
Categories: Advice | Bathing | Cleanliness | England | Guys | Hair | On the phone | Posted 2009-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Was the Best Of News, It Was the Worst Of News
Young girl in stall with mother: Mommy, what's that?
Mother to young girl: It's called pubic hair, sweetie...all women have it. When you get older, someday you will get some.
Young girl, mortified: Nooooooooooo!
Mall Restroom
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Monica
Categories: Age and ageing | Hair | Kids | Malls | Moms | Parenting | Questions | Restroom | Should have used a condom | Vagina | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Badly
Teenage boy, pointing at his dad: Kill him!
Mom: I can't do that! He just got his hair cut!
Dagenham
Essex
England
Overheard by: Anthony Mercer
That's Only 'Cause You Can't Hear Her
Annoying teen #1, looking at trashy magazine: She's cute.
Annoying teen #2: That's Jessica Simpson.
Annoying teen #1: Well, she looks good red-headed and with her mouth open.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Giggling quietly in the pharmacy sectino
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Default | Hair | Mouth | Pennsylvania | Teens | Posted 2009-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...When I Sat on His Face. What?
Girl #1: My 21st birthday was fun.
Girl #2: So was mine, minus the fact that my friends bought stuffed animal beavers at the winery and proceeded to yell about how soft and hairy their beavers were... While my dad was driving.
Girl #2's grandma: What's a beaver?
Girl #2's mom: It's...what some people call the female genitalia.
Girl #2's grandma: Ohhh...your grandfather used to just call it a cunt.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Age and ageing | Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Girls | Hair | Moms | Old folks | Questions | San Francisco | Vagina | Words | Posted 2009-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jerry Springer Expands to Foreign Markets.
Mother to teen son: Your hair needs a cut.
Teen son: Your face needs a cut.
Dad: Your face needs a punch!
Ebdentown
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Family | Guys | Hair | Moms | New Zealand | Offers and requests | Teens | Violence | Posted 2009-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unfortunately, George Michael Took the Advice.
Kid #1: Yo, man! You're missin' somethin'."
Kid #2: What?
Kid #1: Yeah, you look weird now that you got a haircut.
Kid #2: Huh?
Kid #1: You need to get some earrings!
SUNY
Old Westbury, New York
One Of the More Awkward Responses to "I Love You"
Man to woman: You know what I really love? My hair.
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: jaytro
This Will Easier to Explain with a Cone and Two Scoops
Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?
Washington, DC
Molly Ringwald Was the Mandy Moore Of Her Day
Hipster girl to friend, looking at DVDs: Hey, you know my friend Stephanie, whose boyfriend I made out with, Corey? His favorite movie was A Walk to Remember. He admitted it and everything.
Hipster friend, touching hipster friend's head: You have a really soft scalp.
Hipster girl: That means I'll never lose my hair. Oh! The Breakfast Club!
Edgewood Target
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: I didn't make out with him
Categories: Body parts | Default | Friends | Georgia | Girls | Hair | Hipsters | Movies | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2009-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
His Tusks Are Hot, Though
Girl: It's been a week and I still haven't gotten the smell of bacon out of my hair.
Supportive friend: You have a weird boyfriend.
Rochester, New York
We're Imagining Jackie Warner from Work Out
Woman walking out of men's barber shop to friend: I can't believe they wouldn't cut my hair. I'm a lesbian! That makes me a man.
Brisbane
Australia
Ever Wake Up in Mid-Sentence, With No Idea What You're Talking About?
Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.
Whittier College
Whittier, California
Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)
Categories: Animals | California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Hair | Maladies | STDs | Students | Posted 2009-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Fauxcock Repels Gay Predators
Guy: So all I have to do is get some gel and spike my butt hair.
Target
Salem, Massachusetts
Categories: Ass | Default | Guys | Hair | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
King Henry V Was Disinclined to Explain
Barber, as 23-year-old boy with bad haircut sits down into his chair: So what's with this bowl cut thing you got going on?
The Barber Shop
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Will
Then There Are the Brave Few Who Would Join Me on This Pole
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing...a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples--and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, "Eh, I can always drop the class."
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
Categories: California | Class | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Hair | Names | Nipples | Teachers | Posted 2009-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Thinking of Transferring to Brown
Lacrosse player: Bro, dude, all I did today was play Halo and grow my hair.
overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
So of Course I'm Bummed That They'll All Burn in a Lake of Hellfire
Mormon girl: When I grow up, I want to celebrate Chanukah! I mean, I just like Jews. I like Jew food, Jew noses, Jew hair styles... Oh my gosh, I love those curly bangs! I just want to pull one and watch it go "sproinnnnng!"
IHOP
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: I'm Jewish, but surprisingly NOT offended...
Categories: Body parts | Default | Feelings | Food | Girls | Hair | Religion | Restaurants | Utah | Posted 2009-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nice Recovery, Boyo
Six-year-old child to teacher, upon seeing her new haircut for the first time: What's wrong with your hair?
Teacher: What do you mean "what's wrong with my hair"?
Child (with eyes downcast): It just looks so beautiful.
Teacher: Well, thank you.
New Westminster
BC
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Hair | Kids | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Check Behind the Mexican Dentures and Under the Namibian Eyelids
Guy #1: The directions are on a green piece of paper.(fumbles around in car)
Guy #2: What the hell is this?
Guy #1: Oh shit. Long story. It's a Portugese kid's back hair.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Categories: Body parts | Default | Guys | Hair | Kids | Overheard at Yale | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If They Want To Help the Economy
Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Totally!
Brunette girl: So like, if I had a mustache, would you tell me?
Tall blonde friend: Of course, would you tell me?
Brunette: Totally.
Tall blonde: I totally have a mustache?!
Brunette: No, no, no...I would totally tell you if you did, but you don't!
Tall blonde: Oh, okay.
(several seconds pass, they sip drinks)
Tall blonde: So we're having topless sleepover at my place tonight, right?
Red Maple
Baltimore, Maryland
Categories: Default | Girls | Hair | Maryland | Nipples | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2008-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So You'd Just Have to Be Careful About Static Shock
Pretty girl: So, do you like anyone right now?
Serious guy: Eva Mendes, but she lives far away.
Pretty girl: She's hairy.
Serious guy: Yeah, I kinda noticed that.
Pretty girl (in acknowledgment): Yeah.
Serious guy (in agreement): Yeah.
El Paso, Texas
Dolly Parton Faced Animosity Upon Returning to School
Student to another: Okay! Whatever, hooker hair!
University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Overheard by: Li'l Bit
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Hair | Insults | North Carolina | Students | Words | Posted 2008-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Use the Frathouse Shower
Skanky girl: My hair smells like cum.
Gleneagle Secondary School
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Cum | Default | Girls | Hair | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nobody Knew Pig-Pen Was a Girl 'til She Grew Up
Middle-aged man to 20-something bookseller: You've got that sort of hair that men love to mess up...
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: envious
Yeah, Um, About That Jerri-Curl
Camp counselor: Do you have shampoo with you?
Seven-year-old camper: I don't wash my hair. I'm black! Duh.
Rec Center Pool
New York, New York
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Hair | Health & Hygiene | Kids | New York | Questions | Race | Teachers | Posted 2008-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Golden Girls Had Been a Cable Show
60-something daughter: Mother, your hair looks like crap. You cannot wear your hair like that on Easter.
80-something mother: I do not give a rat's ass what my hair has to do with it. What does Easter have to do with it?
6o-something daughter: Mother! You are going to hell for saying that!
80-something mother: I'm going to hell for saying "Easter"?
60-something daughter: No, mother, for saying "ass"! For saying "ass" on Easter!
80-something mother: Oh, hell, really? Well, most of my family's going to hell anyway, so Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass, Easter ass! So, there! Happy?
Grandma's house
Illinois
I'm Surprised You Were There, Ms. Chipped Nail Polish
Girl #1: You weren't even in school today, were you?
Girl #2 (with her hood up): No, 'cuz my hair is messed up!
Columbus, Ohio
Of Thirst?
Girl telling friend about dream: So then I was lying on a bed of beef jerky and my dad came up and his armpit hair was all white and fuzzy and that's when I realized I was gonna die.
Park
California
Categories: California | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Hair | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Made HimThink Twice About Becoming a Woman
Woman #1: My boss shaves his legs.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: His legs, his back, his chest, everything. All guys do it now.
Woman #2: That's so weird. My son asked me to wax his chest because he said girls don't like hairy chests.
Woman #1: How much hair could a 14-year-old have?
Woman #2: Actually, a lot.
Woman #1: He's going to be really hairy when he's older.
Woman #2: Fortunately not on his back yet. So anyway--don't tell anybody I told you this. You're sworn to secrecy--I told him I wouldn't wax him, but I went out and bought some Nair and put it on him, and it worked. But the next morning, he was in such pain--his chest was all inflamed. He said he would never do it again.
Women's Gym
Studio City, California
Overheard by: I always eavesdrop on these two
Categories: Age and ageing | California | Default | Gender issues | Hair | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Doesn't Involve My Grandma
Loud girl: Listen to me! I saw that hairy vagina! It was right in front of my face!
Loud guy: Can we please engage in a different conversation?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
And We Could Finally Use Pick-up Lines About "Magic Carpet Rides"
Guy #1: Yo, it would be tight to work in a rug store.
Guy #2: Yeah, man. All those different kinds of rugs...
Oakland, California
Overheard by: archidork
Categories: California | Default | Guys | Hair | Jobs & Careers | Vagina | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Parachute Pants Are Making a Comeback
Girl: I will pull my pants up and show you I am not hairy!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
If You Know What I Mean
Girl to friend: I gave my ostrich a fur coat.
Rich Catholic Girls School
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Default | Euphemisms | Girls | Hair | Missouri | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Vagina | Posted 2008-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seems to Keep Dad at Bay
Two-year-old girl: Mommy! You have hair on your vagina!
Restroom
Washington, DC
When Good Conversations Go Bad
Academic-type Oxford guy: You have such silky hair.
American girl: Thanks...
Academic-type Oxford guy: You could weave a garment out of it!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Catherine
Categories: Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | England | Girls | Guys | Hair | Offers and requests | Posted 2008-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially If It's Not the Hair on Your Head
Teenage boy #1: I just get so nervous when she touches me, man. I think I'm ready to tell her how I feel.
Teenage boy #2: No, no, no, dude! Wait till she plays with your hair. When she plays with your hair, that's love.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a sure sign
Perhaps Some Clove Cigarettes Would Help
Geek #1: But I'm a semi-Mac user! I can't have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean...
Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Beardless Mac User
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Friends | Hair | Shaving | Technology | Posted 2008-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus We'd Have to Be Open and Honest About Our Feelings
White mother to teen daughters after black family walks by: I'm so glad you two aren't black! Then I'd have to put all those little beads in your hair and--well I'm just really glad.
Versailles, Kentucky
Most of Life's Problems Can Be Solved with a Pair of Tweezers and a Bottle of Wine
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: "Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children." I would do it if I didn't have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
And You Could Actually Sing
Guy to girl: You know, Mandy Moore made a bad decision going brunette. Now she looks like you, if you were a crack whore.
Oberlin College
Oberlin, Ohio
Overheard by: emily
Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Hair | Insults | Ohio | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Good Ever Comes of Communication
Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That's it? Just "yep"?
Husband: Looks very different. It'll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
You Never Did That When We Were Together, Either
Young guy on cell: You got a bikini wax?... Really?... How come you never did that when we were together?... Oh, so you're a woman now?
7-Eleven
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Hair | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Some Cultures, That's the Highest Compliment
Drunk girl yelling to bald guy from car window: You left your toupee in my vagina!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Paige & Liz
Georgia State Penitentiary?
Freshman #1: So... where is he from?
Freshman #2: He's from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Categories: Ass | Colleges & Universities | Guys | Hair | Missouri | Questions | Students | US Geography | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
Even We Winced at This One
Man #1: So she looks up at me with this, look, right? And she grips my dick real hard and then gets this terrified look as she picks it off on my pubes...
Man #2: Oh, dude, I'm gonna vomit.
Man #1: It was a fucking dingleberry. And it wasn't mine, dude.
Gym
Oregon
I'm... Black?
Traffic cop: She said, "Do you like it?" and I was like, "Yeah, it looks really nice." And then she said, "Is it subtle?" and I was like "Jenny*, you're a black woman with orange and yellow hair!"
Plymouth, Michigan
Overheard by: Morgz
And Cute Buttplug!
Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: "Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty."
Women's Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Compliments | Default | Hair | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2008-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Lacked the Sweet Aroma Of Chemicals and Seared Flesh
Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.
Melbourne
Australia
The Plumber Says You Can Have It If You Want It
Girl on phone: Hey, honey, good news -- I can get you your hair back.
Fortitude Valley
Brisbane
Australia
Categories: Australia | Default | Girls | Hair | On the phone | Posted 2008-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Hairy As Her Chin, but Close
Cub Scout #1: Your dad has hairy arms.
Cub Scout #2: You know what else is hairy? His penis!
Cub Scout #1: Yeah. So is my mom's.
Cub Scout Camp
Pennsylvania
Categories: Body parts | Hair | Kids | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-02-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, in Some Remote Regions, There Are People Who Don't Throw Up after Meals?
Guy #1: You mean, some girls have naturally curly hair? I thought they just got it permed.
Guy #2: You lived in L.A. for too long.
East Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Enigmae
Just So You're Disfigured in Some Way
Old teacher, petting student's hair: Your hair is so pretty. When you graduate, you should donate it to the blind.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Shakananananawanda
Categories: Advice | Hair | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Freedom Fro?
Dude, watching Unbreakable: Look, Samuel L. Jackson has slave hair here.
Chick: No, that's not slave hair. It's too coiffed. It's, like, uppity hair.
Dude: No, look at it from the front. Totally slave hair.
Chick: No! That's more like just-got-set-free hair.
Dude: Okay, fine. Reconstruction hair, then.
Chick: Exactly.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Categories: California | Friends | Hair | Posted 2007-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Life in Oklahoma's Impossible without Willful Ignorance
Mom #1: Well, you are blonde, you know!
Mom #2: Yeah, well, I'm not blonde everywhere!
Mom #1: Well, I don't know how that works...
Panera Bread
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Freelance Mama
Wasn't That the Hairstyle of the Huns?
Girl: I hate faux-hawks. I can't believe they're coming back in style. They're the worst hairstyle ever.
Mother: I think mullets are the worst hairstyle ever.
Girl: At least mullets are honest!
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: J
Dude, at Denny's That Gets You Free Coffee
Dude: Oh, great. Now I can be the asshole with a unibrow.
Denny's
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: aimc
Want Me to Check?
Woman: Don't I strike you as blonde?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Bimbettes | Hair | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not That I Stroke It in Your Sleep or Anything
Teen girl: Tina*, this corn husk totally feels like your vagina hair!
World's Largest Corn Maze
Dixon, California
Overheard by: Leslie
Categories: California | Hair | Teens | Posted 2007-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Pink Bow Might Be Pretty
Preppy teen girl #1: Well, do you like her?
Preppy teen girl #2: I mean, yeah, I like her... But she has got to do something about her mustache!
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Sam
You Could Finish It for Your 100th Birthday
Girlfriend: Have you ever touched another man's armpit hair?
Boyfriend: No.
Girlfriend: Well, yours are really gossamer-y. If you shaved them off, you could weave a little swatch of, like, satin... And then you could make a quilt!
Boyfriend: Or a patchwork jacket!
Ypsilanti, Michigan
The Question Is, How Did You Find Out, and Why Do You Care?
Dazed guy: I didn't know leg hair could get split ends.
Great Mall
Milpitas, California
Categories: California | Guys | Hair | Posted 2007-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Happened to Sean Connery in Goldfinger
30-ish blonde: Yeah, my three o'clock appointment canceled, so I lasered off my pubes.
Bar
Newcastle, Oklahoma
Just Keep Watering It, Sweetie
Little girl: Mom, why don't I have a hairy butt like you?
Bathroom, AA flight 329
Categories: Airports & flights | Ass | Glad the condom broke | Hair | Questions | Restroom | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like What a Tonsillectomy Does to Your Singing Voice
Hubby: Man, when I trim my ass hair my farts sound weird!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hair | Hubbies | Overheard in California's Journal | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
