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I'll Put Them on Ice for You 'til After the Exam
Guy to another: Dude, just study your nuts off and you'll be fine.
Binghamton University
New York
So, All in All, It Was a Successful Party.
Girl: I look retarded!
Guy: My balls hurt.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Puberty Is Fun!
12-year-old boy, enthusiastically: I like my genitalia!
Portland, Oregon
Or Were Those Internet Images Photoshopped?
Psychology teacher, collecting test papers: Do I have all the testes?
High School
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Slips of the Freudian variety
Third-Wave Feminism Finally Reaches Bellingham
Coworker, indignantly: Stop locking up my chuzzles!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Should be working
Categories: Balls | Coworkers | Gripes | Sex | Washington | Posted 2010-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Ultimate Hidden Valley
Woman #1: What do you think ranch dressing goes good on?
Woman #2: Ball sack.
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: So What?
...And the Hendersons
Finely bearded man, loudly and distinctly among crowd: Big. Hairy. Ballsack.
University of Illinois
Overheard by: Kelsey
And I Thought Old Ladies Loved Tea.
Bicyclist: So I guess your grandma didn't like the joke about your balls.
Rockland County, New York
Categories: Balls | Family ties | Guys | New York | Posted 2010-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Would Make Your Ears Ring, Sir
Lecturer, about over-sized earrings left behind in class: Yes, you put one around the left testicle...
Christchurch
New Zealand
Categories: Balls | Fashion | New Zealand | Teachers | Posted 2010-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and the Fact That He Loves Her
Angry coffee drinker: He referred to his last sexual congress as "being balls-deep" in his lady.
Amused coffee drinker: Something tells me she was no lady.
Angry coffee drinker: That's what you take away from that?
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Guys | New York | Questions | Sex | Posted 2010-07-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Male Equivalent Of the Old Menstrual Cramps Excuse
Mother: Take off your backpack and put it on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mother: Put your backpack on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No! It will hurt my balls.
Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia
It Takes a While to Take a Cheez Whiz
Girl in stall with open door: I got cheese on my nipples!
Girl outside stall, to passerby: Sorry.
Girl in stall, in husky voice: I got cheese between my balls.
Girl outside stall: I'm so sorry.
Girl in stall: I'm so cheesy, sometimes I melt!
Women's Restroom, Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
It's More About the Attitude Than the Plumbing
Gay guy to female friend: Just because I have testicles doesn't mean I'm any less of a woman.
Saskatchewan
Canadia
Categories: Balls | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Friends | Gender issues | Queers | Posted 2010-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Seen One That Could Crack a Walnut Before?
Guy on cell: Look, I'm just saying. If he wants to play hardball, I'm totally prepared to show him just how hard my balls are.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Balls | Guys | On the phone | Overheard at York | Threats | Words | Posted 2010-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Squidward Moved to Utah for Religious Reasons
Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They're my testicles... No! My... My... Test--test... The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles...
High School
Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
I Also Feel Strangely Ashamed.
Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.
Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Mallory
Categories: Balls | Baristas | Customers | Food | Girls | Questions | Restaurants | Rhode Island | Sex | Posted 2010-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, BTW, Would Be a Great Rapper Name
White guy: How do you pronounce your name? Is it "Ty"?
Asian guy: No, it's "Tee," as in "teabagging."
White guy: Oh. (pause) Wait! What?
Asian guy: Sorry, maybe I should have said "sweet tea."
Atlanta, Georgia
Deleted Scene from The Neverending Story
Girl: Good luck with that. You'll end up with barbed wire embedded in your genitals if you go there on foot. And I'll say I told you so.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Balls | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Posted 2009-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Their Tongues Touched, They Produced Amy Winehouse.
Girl, after kissing boy: You taste like smoke.
Boy: You taste like testicles.
Las Vegas, Navada
Overheard by: ScaredTourist
Categories: Balls | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Nevada | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Ever Said Dating Teen Wolf Was Easy?
White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It's all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie...
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.
New Jersey
At the Hermaphroditic Contortionist Children's Support Group
Five-year-old girl, pointing at store window: Balls!
Young mom: That's right honey, those are balls, but you ate your balls, huh?
Five-year-old girl: I ate my balls!
Buffalo, New York
Pets Being the Obvious Exception
British individual rights professor: States can't go around cutting people's bollocks off because they've been naughty.
Law Class
St. Louis, Missouri
Did He Ever Think That Some Of Us Wanted to Be Left Behind?
Five-year-old little boy to grandmother: If I ever meet George Bush, I'm going to kick him in the balls.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: trying not to laugh parent
Categories: Balls | Family | Glad the condom broke | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Politics | Threats | Posted 2009-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Learned That the Hard Way.
Girl: Oh my god, I love their deep-fried mac and cheese balls!
Boy: I got some fried mac and cheese balls for you.
Girl: Tommy, if you tried to dip your balls in a deep fryer, they would probably fall off.
Boy: No they wouldn't.
Waiter, passing by quickly: Yes they would!
Cheesecake Factory
Kettering, Ohio
Anyone Wanna Teabag?
Dude, after receiving dickhead hat on 50th birthday: Hey, look! My double chin looks like a pair of balls in a nutsack!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Tiger Fan
Categories: Age and ageing | Balls | Body parts | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Guys | Missouri | Penis | Posted 2009-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Need to Be More Specific.
Woman: Oh, man, I wish I had nuts.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Amused Friend
Categories: Balls | Gender issues | Washington | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Incestuous Cirque Du Soleil Porn Is a Joy to Watch
Guy: Yeah, and then there was uncle Marty, who was on his knees throwing balls at her...
Sydney
Australia
Categories: Australia | Balls | Body parts | Family ties | Guys | Sex | Posted 2009-10-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Adam Sandler's Comedy Hasn't Evolved Much
Lady talking to friend: My little boy just loves balls. All I hear is balls,balls, balls...
Wal-Mart
Anniston, Alabama
Overheard by: Tyler
Didn't I See This in Kindergarten Cop?
Teacher, pointing to female student: You have ovaries. (pointing to self) I have testes.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Education | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Posted 2009-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Get Your Velma Over Here and Let's Party.
Man on cell, about his genitals: Yeah, it's shaped up like a 'fro on a Scooby Doo Chia Pet.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Balls | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Guys | Hair | On the phone | TV shows | Toys | Posted 2009-09-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors' Verdict: Shower Yes, Loofah No
20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Categories: Balls | Bathing | Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Friends | Insults | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No More Scientific American for You, Young Lady.
Teacher: What that show didn't tell you is that ferrets smell like dirty wet dog.
Seven-year-old girl: Well, you know you can get their scent glands removed.
Teacher: Yeah, but is that really good for them?
Seven-year-old girl: I think it's about the same as removing a dog's testicles.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Animals | Balls | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Education | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Questions | Students | Teachers | Washington | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Later, Steve Would Steal Them, And Have Them Surgically Implanted
Young boy, pointing enthusiastically at a goat: Dad! Dad! Look! That goat has some big ol' balls!
Father, indulgently: Mmm-hmm. I like that one.
San Antonio, Texas
Which Reminds Me, Where Are the Wheelbarrows?
Teenage boy in toy section: Giant balls always look good on paper...but they don't really work out in real life.
DeKalb, Illinois
Categories: Balls | Compare and contrast | Illinois | Teens | Posted 2009-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Vacations Exist.
Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick... Chiswick... Cheese balls... Cheese balls...balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Stefa
Categories: Balls | Conductors | Food | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Train | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Howard Stern Had One Custom-Installed.
Server: We need a button on the computer for this...
Boss man: For what?
Server: Balls on your face.
Midlothian, Virginia
Overheard by: bec-uhh
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Default | Employees | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Servers | Technology | Virginia | Posted 2009-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Musical Chairs?
Guy: It's all just an elaborate excuse to teabag someone!
Sandy Springs, Georgia
...and Then Sags Down Again
Guy: So she googled me, and found the thing from the dance-off with my balls hanging out! It's the first thing that comes up!
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Then He Juggled Them While Drinking a Glass Of Water
Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.
University of Delaware
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Default | Delaware | Drinking & drunks | Euphemisms | Girls | Sex | Students | Posted 2009-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Plan to Stop Smoking Just Before That
Professor: Do we know if marijuana has any long-term effects?
Male student: Ball cancer.
Western Michigan University
Overheard by: H
Choking to Death on Carbon Emissions Is a Masculine Rite Of Passage
Guy #1: Are you going to get a Prius?
Guy #2: Nah, I want a car with balls, not an environmentally friendly vagina.
Sunnyvale, California
Overheard by: GameCat
Categories: Balls | California | Default | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Technology | Vagina | Posted 2009-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gay Roller Derby Is an Experience Not to Be Missed
Girl: Yeah! It was really crazy, like even their balls started lighting up!
Costa Mesa, California
Overheard by: elaine
Categories: Balls | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Come Out As Trans in One Easy Step
Teenage girl to another: You know what I really hate? When your balls sweat.
Glenfield College
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kelly
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Girls | New Zealand | Questions | Teens | Posted 2009-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Sand on the Beach, So Are the Balls Of Our Lives
Gay #1: One guy likes to have his junk stepped on, but no punches in them.
Gay #2: Ow!
Gay #1: I don't like balls in my toes, though.
Gay #2: Just think of it as sand on a beach!
Starbucks
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Scott
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Gays | Massachusetts | Penis | Restaurants | Posted 2009-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: Dude, Where's My Common Sense?
Dude #1: So did you fuck that chick after we left the other night?
Dude #2 (glancing around to make sure no one's listening): Yeah.
Dude #1: Yes! I knew it!
Dude #2: Dude, I didn't even know what was going on until I came outta my blackout, and realized I was balls deep.
Dude #1: Condom?
Dude #2: (shakes head)
Dude #1: Yes!
Toons Bar
Chicago, Illinois
You Poor, Deprived Creature
College girl #1: Have you ever smelled sweaty balls?
College girl #2 and #3: Oh my god! Yes, we were just talking about this yesterday.
College girl #4: No.
College girl #1: Really? Oh yeah...you don't like giving head.
University of South Florida
This Was Often Heard on the Set of Little House...
Angry mother: Seriously, Landon, I told you, do not touch anyone else's balls!
Mini Golf
Burnham, Maine
Poleballing Is Huge in Canadia
Passerby to girl: They cut off my balls and taped them to a fucking pole.
Ottawa
Canadia
And That's Not What's on Abe Lincoln's Chin
Mom to young son: Don't say "testicles" in public!
Mount Rushmore, South Dakota
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Advice | Balls | Default | Moms | South Dakota | Tourist attractions | Women | Words | Posted 2009-02-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Instead Of Carrying Around This Scale Model
Mother to toddler daughter: Would you rather I just say "testicles"?
Art Institute of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Brian
If Evolution Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right!
Human evolution professor, showing a slide of a monkey: Just look at those testicles! They're huge and pink...just...they're all in your face!
Anthropology Classroom, Kent State University
Ohio
Overheard by: Laureen
Like Canadian Jumping Beans
Guest lecturer: My pants are animate, socks are inanimate.
Linguistics professor: Did you just say your pants are animate?
Guest lecturer: Yes, if it's near your genitals it's animate.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Breanne
Categories: Balls | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Questions | Teachers | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Really More of a Woman's Perspective
Girl: Do you want me to kick you in the balls?
Guy: What?
Girl: Cause then you'd be all like, "Now I can't reproduce. What's the point anymore?"
Weir House
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Balls | Default | Girls | Guys | New Zealand | Offers and requests | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have That on Good Authority from Your Mother
Toddler, pointing to gigantic bin ball: Daddy!
Father: Oh, believe me kid, we don't need any more balls in our house.
Shoprite in Clark, New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
Categories: Balls | Dads | Default | Kids | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Posted 2008-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is There Ever a Viable Reason for Riverdancing?
Guy to friend: Do you have a reason to riverdance on my testicles?
Boone, North Carolina
There's Never Really a Good Time to Come Out of the Closet
College girl #1: (laughs hysterically)
College girl #2: Yeah, and while he was balls deep in me too, can you believe that?
Pennsylvania
Categories: Balls | Default | Friends | Pennsylvania | Sexuality | Sorority types | Posted 2008-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Day James Stopped Doing Positive Affirmations
20-something guy: My testicles are perfect!
Friends: [Silence.]
50-something lady walking past: [Snicker.]
Cork
Ireland
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Balls | Compliments | Default | Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Pride | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So the Reverend Wrote That Down under "Burial Wishes"
Wannabe thug #1: So I told her: "Bitch, there'd better be flowers on my balls!"
Wannabe thug #2: Straight.
Mission Hill
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Henry
Categories: Balls | Friends | Massachusetts | Thugs | Words | Posted 2008-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More Women With Dirtier Minds Than Men
Girl #1, pointing to bag of peanuts: Are those your nuts?
Girl #2: No, they're Bob's* nuts.
[brief pause, then both girls begin laughing hysterically]
Girl #1, after a few minutes: That was the stupidest thing ever.
Girl #2: You know you liked it.
Oakland, California
Overheard by: I laughed because I didn't know what was going on
I Blame the Lasciviousness of Contemporary Mores
Middle school student: It's not my fault he got hit with the G-string...
Toms River
New Jersey
Overheard by: the sub
Categories: Balls | Clothes | Gender issues | New Jersey | Students | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I'm Still Working on Context
Girl walking with two guys: I'm going to teabag you! ...I'm so glad I know what that means now!
WSU
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Happiness | Sex | Stupidity | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Ex Tried to Talk Me into Castration
Guy #1: Oh, shit, I almost sat on my nuts! That shit would've fucking hurt!
Guy #2: I hate when that happens.
Guy #1: Yeah.
12312 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Balls | California | Guys | Posted 2008-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Let's Ignore His Excruciated Moans and Get Back to Work
Teacher, to students: ... And it's not like he's going to need that testicle...
Poole Grammar School
England
Until She Found a Market for the Photos on the Internet
Professor: Sorry if you've been excited to see how you did on your essays, but I didn't get a chance to mark them over Christmas break.
Class: [Groans.]
Professor: Well, my testicles swelled to the size of grapefruit over the holiday break, so don't think you're the only ones disappointed. My wife wasn't thrilled, either.
York University
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: decidingwhethertolaughornot
It Does Involve Balls
Dude: Is putting my hand on my balls a sport? Could be.
Subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Shaniqua
Can't You Pull 'em Back Up into Your Abdomen?
Teen boy, jokingly: So, yeah -- I was thinking about getting my testicles removed, so that way no one can kick me there anymore.
Teen girl, mortified: No, don't! You need one to live!
Fairfax, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amused friend
I Think We'd Be Married Under Missouri Law
Guy #1: Hey, you know what? You know what? Suck my balls.
Guy #2: What if I just stuck a pot over them and banged it with a wooden spoon?
Canton, Missouri
Overheard by: Lynn
After That, It's Just a Montage of Scenes from White Men Can't Jump
Chick: No, I don't remember that.
Dude: I remember you grabbing my balls...
Parking lot
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Z
Categories: Balls | California | Friends | Posted 2007-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Attractive Drag Queens Tend to Have That Effect
Man: My scrotum is so confused!
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Chelsea
It's Not the Place I Belong, After All
Girl #1: ... And his sack -- it fucking smelled like a carnival.
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1: Like barnyard animals and carny folk... And kinda like hay.
Girl #2: Well, I told you not to hump someone who is from West Virginia!
M Street and Wisconsin Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: NinaBeana
Categories: Balls | Chicks | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... But I Can't Find My Stick
Dude: My testicles are like cue balls...
The Arclight
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Balls | California | Guys | Posted 2007-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Going Back to the Isle of Women
Lesbian: People eat testicles here, too?!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: orly
Categories: Balls | Food | Lesbos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fluffers Ain't Cheap
Grocery bagger to another: Yeah, man -- just last month I spent over a hundred bucks on my balls!
Overheard by: Chey
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Stores | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Said, "My Name's Chip. And That's an Egg McMuffin."
Frat boy: So, the prof walked into class and he looked right at me and he said, 'Drew*, your right testicle is hanging out.' That's how he started the class!
Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com
Categories: Balls | Frat boy types | Gossip | Weirdos of Winnipeg | Posted 2007-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know Exactly Where They've Been
Dude on cell: No, I really don't want to put your balls in my mouth, thank you very much.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura
Categories: Balls | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Greeting Cards Are Getting More and More Specific
Girl: Every time I walk into Stop 'N Shop and get a whiff of Irish Spring I think of your testicles.
Seton Hall University
South Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: Never will think of Irish Spring the same way again
Categories: Balls | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | New Jersey | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Warn Them about Your Jagged Left Nut?
Chick on cell: You're gonna go rubbin' your balls all over other girls and I can't even...?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lichka
Categories: Balls | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
