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The Difference Between the U.S. and the Rest Of the World
Large American girl: So I asked him, "what's your problem?"
British girl: What did he say?
Large American girl: He said I was too fat.
British girl: Oh...
Large American girl: Motherfucker doesn't realize that big is beautiful.
Drunk British guy behind them: That's a whole lotta big! Chub, chub, chub!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Beauty | Diet & weight | England | Girls | Questions | Posted 2011-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The People Look Cold and Frothy.
Man in pub, to friend: Oh, they look nice! (pause) The beers, I mean, not the people.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Beauty | Drinking & drunks | Other sites | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Actually Dead, So the Joke Was on Me
Guy #1: So how was work?
Guy #2: I didn't go.
Guy #1: Oh, take a day off, did you?
Guy #2: Well, I went to Erin*'s house to see if she wanted to talk to my boss about getting a job but she was still asleep, and she looked cute, so I joined her.
Guy #1: Good excuse.
Bayonne, New Jersey
Categories: Beauty | Guys | New Jersey | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2011-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Their Baby Was Born in a Booth at Popeye's
Guy #1: Hey bro, your woman fat?
Guy #2: No. Fuck, man! What you talkin'? She my baby momma, that the baby in her bump!
Guy #3: You sure? She sure look fat to me.
Coralridge Mall
Iowa City, Iowa
Um, It's a Shit Party in Your Pants, Dude
Girl at party: For the last time: I am not interested in you. You're too short, too fat and too drunk!
Guy, defiantly: I'm not drunk! If I was drunk, I wouldn't think you were so fucking ugly!
(girl storms off angrily)
Guy, to himself: It's a shit party when the ugliest bitch at the party ain't a sure thing!!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
Well That's What the African Kids in Those Charity Videos Are Always Whining About!
Skinny Asian girl: These shorts are way too big.
Plus-sized white friend: Oh no, I have skinny-ass legs. My life sucks. What am I going to do?
Skinny Asian girl: (laughs)
St. Joseph, Michigan
Just When You Thought Comic Book Guy Didn't Exist in Real Life...
Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? "I'm the best even though I'm fat"?
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The Original Miracle Worker Screenplay Was Less Than Inspiring.
Male teacher talking about student: Yeah, that ear infection made her go deaf. She wears one of those things in her head. The implant.
Meanest lady ever: Her life is over. You can't be deaf and ugly. That is too many things.
Male teacher: She's five!
Meanest lady ever: By six she'll barely be a person.
Fairfield, Connecticut
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Connecticut | Gossip | Maladies | Teachers | Posted 2011-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nor Am I a Female Gang Member on Law & Order
20-something boyfriend: What's it called when girls put brown around their lips?
20-something girlfriend: Lip liner?
20-something boyfriend: Yeah. Why don't you wear that?
20-something girlfriend: Because it's not 1995, and I'm not going on the Ricki Lake show.
Manhattan, New York
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Couples | New York | Questions | Posted 2011-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Leave Martin Short Alone.
Woman, exiting coffee shop: He's like ten years old, but he's aged really well...
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Minivet
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | California | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...You're Always Lookin' Out for Me, Grandma!
Drunk 20-something, yelling in a crowd: Because I am a grad student and I don't do anything!
Older woman: You know there are some attractive young men over by the band.
Drunk 20-something: Well, I do do that.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Queen Latifah Never Looked Back
Black girl in workout clothes: So I googled it.
Overweight friend: Googled what?
Black girl in workout clothes: The human skeleton is 20% of your body weight.
Overweight friend: So what?
Black girl in workout clothes: Sooo... Without that, I only weigh like a hundred pounds or something.
Overweight friend: (confused look)
Black girl in workout clothes: I'm just saying I'm not fat anymore.
Michigan
Overheard by: It's that simple?
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Fat people | Girls | Michigan | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Oh Wait, That's Just My Blackberry.
Girlfriend to boyfriend who is trying hard not to look at a hot girl dancing sexily: Don't worry baby, I'm getting the erection for you.
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Beauty | Couples | Erections | New York | Relationships | Posted 2011-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And She Won't Even Go Out with Me!
Suit #1: So, you heard who the new VP in my division is?
Suit #2: Yeah. She's... a character, I'll say that.
Suit #1: The Brits came to meet with her, and they left looking like... totally stunned.
Suit #2: Yep, she's a force of nature, all right.
Suit #1: I just can't believe they'd give her that job... That they want her dealing with all that political sensitivity when...
Suit #2, interrupting: When she's a maniacal feral wild woman?
Suit #1: And she openly admits that she doesn't think men should be in this division! She keeps making jokes about how we have no idea what the ladies want, and I'm like, how would she know either? She's not a lady, she's a monster!
Suit #2: She's like a Hindu goddess of fire and destruction!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
Categories: Beauty | Bosses | Canadia | Compliments | Gossip | Posted 2011-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From My Big Book Of Things to Say Before Bursting Into Tears
Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache...
Colorado State University
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Character | Colorado | Gender issues | On the phone | Posted 2011-01-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That They're Ladies
Econ professor: Now, if you'll look to the upper-right corner of the handout, you'll see some pretty ladies. Since this handout is somewhat blurry, you can't see them very well, so you'll just have to take my word that they're pretty.
UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin
America: Encapsulated.
Plus-size girl looking at maternity shirt: Oh, this is cute! (pause) It will hide my fat rolls!
JC Penney
Wichita, Kansas
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Clothes | Fat people | Girls | Kansas | Shopping | Posted 2010-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who You Callin' Unoriginal?!
Emo #1, trying on black eyeshadow: Does it look alright?
Emo #2: Yeah, it looks great!
Emo #1: Should I buy it?
Emo #2: Yes! Oh my god, there's some on your face!
Emo #1: Where?
Emo #2: There, on your cheek!
(emo #1 starts wiping it off)
Emo #2: Hey, you look like an aboriginal.
Cosmetics Shop
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Somni
Categories: Beauty | New York | Sensory experiences | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That a Country Song?
Cashier: If it weren't for fat asses and sexy feet, I'd get out of the South and move back to New York.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Overheard by: Nick
Unlike Yours, Stomachface.
Taller Asian teen: Ha ha! You're so short! Shorty!
Shorter Asian teen: (silence)
Taller Asian teen: Sorry, I was just kidding.
Shorter Asian teen, sadly: Well, it's only because my shoulders are below my head...
China
Categories: Asians | Beauty | Body parts | China | Comebacks | Posted 2010-12-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...It's Medicinal!
Loud boyfriend: Where's the rest of it? You only needed five dollars for the hat. Where's the change?
Loud girlfriend: Give it a rest, Tommy. Okay, I gave you your change.
Loud boyfriend: You know, we need the fifteen dollars for the hotel, and I need hair gel.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Pbritches
Categories: Beauty | California | Couples | Money | Questions | Posted 2010-11-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Suspect Richard Simmons Is Gathering Strength Somewhere, Waiting for His Next Moment.
Physical therapy student: So he's gotten a *lot* more fit in the last 300 years, right?
Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
Categories: Beauty | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Zoinks
Heavily tattooed man: She got this new haircut; it's short, but it's kind of... awkward.
Heavily tattooed woman: Like a bowl cut?
Heavily tattooed man: No, kind of like... What's-his-name, from Scooby Doo.
Heavily tattooed woman: Velma?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: jira monkey
Categories: Beauty | Hair | Hipsters | Pennsylvania | TV shows | Posted 2010-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.
College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don't have to wear Spanx with it.
Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Advice | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2010-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why She Doesn't Have to Give Blowjobs.
Confused attractive hipster: I don't understand why he became progressively more Asian during my dream.
Amused friend #1: You don't have to.
Amused friend #2: Because you're pretty.
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Beauty | Bimbettes | Compliments | New York | Race | Posted 2010-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Steve Miller: "Same Here."
Girl: How do you choose a good peach?
Guy: I go with whichever would make the prettiest vagina. Seems to work pretty well.
Produce Market
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Banana Grabber
The Cautionary Tale That Elizabeth Taylor Has Taught Us All
Girl to friends: I mean, think about it: a girl that's pretty now could be ugly in ten years.
Crested Butte, Colorado
Overheard by: Wow.
...Which Means "I Know"
Flighty girl: People always tell me I'm pretty. Like all the time. Even when I was little, people would say "Oh, you're so pretty!" I used to say "I know" but now I say "thank you."
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nahtay
Categories: Beauty | Bragging | Girls | Washington, DC | Posted 2010-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why I Stopped Hanging Out with Meatheads.
Straight guy: Why do gay men love boobs but hate vaginas?
Gay guy: Because boobs are pretty and vaginas look like a roast beef sandwich.
Drunk guy: I could so go for Arby's right now.
Huaraz
Peru
Overheard by: Nick
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Drunks | Food | Gender issues | Guys | Queers | Rack | South America | Vagina | Posted 2010-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Condoms?
College guy, shouting out window: She makes me jealous. She's so hot!
Friend, mumbling: 48-pack!
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Categories: Beauty | Feelings | Frat boy types | Friends | Indiana | Posted 2010-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Mmm, Okay, Leave the Shirt Off.
Girl #1, watching attractive guy: Du-ude, check that out!
Girl #2: Oooh. Yummy! (notices friend shamelessly ogling)
Girl #1: Elizabeth!! Put his clothes back on!
Yale University
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: You Can Take Mine Instead
Categories: Beauty | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Connecticut | Girls | Posted 2010-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...of Death!
20-something girl looking at picture: Isn't he so hot with his nunchucks?"
20-something guy friend: Those are called "muttonchops."
Bar
Connecticut
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Connecticut | Friends | Girls | Guys | Hair | Words | Posted 2010-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're Like the IPhones Of People!
Tall black girl with fauxhawk: I don't know why everyone doesn't have an Asian fetish! They're pocket sized and stunning!
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Connecticut | Fashion | Hair | Posted 2010-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ignorance + Ignorance = Ignorance
Girl: So I hear that all Puerto Rican women are like models.
Guy: What?
Girl: Like they're all really hot and stuff.
Guy: I'm sure some are...
Girl: Yeah, they are, and they wear like thongs and stuff for underwear too.
Guy: I always heard Puerto Rican women were fat.
Girl: No, that's Hawaiian women.
Guy: Oh.
Lecture Hall
University of Alabama at Birmingham
Categories: Alabama | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Stupidity | Posted 2010-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My New Cream Rinse Is Unstoppable!
Jiu-Jitsu guy #1, rolling around and trying to choke the other: Oh, your hair's soft today.
Jiu-Jitsu guy #2: Thanks, I used herbal essence this morning.
Indiana University
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Guys | Hair | Indiana | Posted 2010-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Should I Make Her a Little Card That Says That?
Waiter, about female patron: Mmm. So hot. I just want to pump her full of babies!
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Baristas | Beauty | Pregnancy | Sex | Washington | Posted 2010-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're So Vanilla We've Given Each Other Diabetes
Tall, pale, blonde girl: And Joe and I realized that we are both ridiculously tall, blonde and blue-eyed. So Aryan. We're basically Hitler's wet dream.
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa
Now No One Can See My Tears
Emo teen boy #1 on whitewater raft ride: This ride is fucking shit! My shoes are like totally getting soaked.
Emo teen boy #2: It's getting in your hair.
(emo teen boy #1 pulls singlet over hair to protect it from the water)
Emo teen boy #3: Yeah, it's going all fucked.
Emo teen boy #1: No fucking way, it took us so long to straighten our hair this morning! This ride is fucking shit! Why is there so much water?!
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Dylan
Juliette Lewis Has Made a Career Of It
Girl in track pants: No! People don't look at me and think "oh, that bitch went to the gym." No, they look at me and think "oh, that bitch is nasty!"
UC
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: Beauty | California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Girls | Gripes | Posted 2010-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Bad Enough the Devil's After Me for That French Manicure
Impassioned college girl: When will the gods stop punishing me for cutting my own bangs?!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: this too shall pass?
Categories: Beauty | Girls | Hair | Overheard in Minneapolis | Religion | Posted 2010-03-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Just Hate Myself, I Hate Who I Aspire to Be
Girl, covering hair: I have kinky hair (pause), kinky, kinky hair (pause), and I spent so long yesterday making it straight.
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
Categories: Beauty | Girls | Hair | Pennsylvania | Time Management | Posted 2010-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Most Girls Welcome the Tranny Seal Of Approval
Strange transvestite: Ohmigod, you are sooo pretty.
Girl: Umm... Thanks?
Transvestite's friend: Oh, yes she is.
(they walk away)
Girl: I'm never wearing this shirt again.
Houston, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Clothes | Compliments | Girls | Texas | Posted 2010-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't a Large Mouth Something You Look for in a Girl?
Guy #1: Dude, don't get me wrong--Laura* is great, but she's kind of...
Guy #2: Young?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also...
Guy #2: Goofy?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also...
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: She's kind of... She looks like Mick Jagger.
Guy #2: Oh, if you're trying to tell me she's unattractive, I know. But at least she won't cheat on me. (pauses, then laughs) Yeah, she does look like Mick Jagger! Good one!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wow, that's harsh
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Guys | Infidelity | Pennsylvania | Posted 2010-02-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Note to Self: Don't Punch Natalie in the Nose
Boyfriend, pressing girlfriend's nose with thumb: Hmmm. I don't think I'd date you if you looked like this.
New Jersey
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Hubbies | New Jersey | Posted 2010-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everybody's Dated a Mustache Girl-- Just Not Publicly
Boyfriend: Baby, you have to shave that mustache.
Girlfriend: Shut up! I keep telling you I'm getting it waxed.
New Jersey
Overheard by: Rebecca
Categories: Beauty | Couples | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Shaving | Posted 2010-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now If Only She Could Find the U.S. on a Map
Old man, about Jessica Simpson "how I found love again" mag cover: She can't find someone to lighten her roots, but she found love. Thank god.
Mamaroneck, New York
Overheard by: Melissa
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Feelings | New York | Old folks | Posted 2010-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Of Your Editors Are Doing Stupid Things Right Now
College boy #1: Hey, man, thanks for getting me out of that skiing trip.
College boy #2: No problem. Pretty girls have made me do stupid things before. In fact, I bet pretty girls make me do stupid things in the future, too. Probably tonight, or tomorrow...
University of Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: not a college student yet
Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | Stupidity | Time Management | Posted 2010-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're My Bitch
Woman, watching magnificent poodle: Oh my god, that's the most beautiful dog in the world!
Man, wounded: Hey! I'm the most beautiful dog in the world!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Beauty | Bringing it back to you | Compare and contrast | Guys | Pennsylvania | Women | Posted 2010-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let Your Mother, God Bless Her, Wear the Army Boots
Teen girl holding shoe: Can I get this in a...
Ghetto shoe salesman: Dayummm girl, that's an ugly shoe!
Teen girl: Em... Aren't you supposed to be selling this to me?
Ghetto shoe salesman: Yeah, but see, y'alls not a ugly person, I can't let y'all buy an ugly shoe.
Teen girl: Thank you?
Los Angeles, California
You Lithuanian Girls Know What I'm Talking About
Anthropology teacher: All women are beautiful, whether they're tall and skinny or not. Including female Sasquatch.
USF
Florida
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Florida | Teachers | Posted 2009-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rather a Creature Who Hates All Happiness
Professor, on Dante's version of the devil: This is not like one of those vampire things that are good-looking and want to suck your blood, and that makes you happy.
University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania
Categories: Beauty | Books | Colleges & Universities | Evil | Happiness | Pennsylvania | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hard to Imagine I'd Ever Get Sick Of Being Objectified
Gay guy: Then we can talk about boys more openly because I'll have long hair, and be pretty and have boobs!
Girl: They're not that fun...
Gay guy: Boobs aren't that fun?
Girl: No!
Pleasant Grove, Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Jack Daniels and Cigarettes: the Early Years
Girl: Good morning, Rob*.
Guy, gasping: Your voice changed! It's deeper!
Girl: Oh. This is my morning voice. It's how I sound in the morning.
Guy: You're not cute anymore!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Just a Little More Downtown
20-something trendy gangster: I'm just there for looks, you know? (pause) I'm like the sculpture of David, chiseled and beautiful.
University of Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Fashion | Thugs | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seriously, How Many Times Can The L Word Do This Same Story?
Girl #1: Are you Jane Jones*?
Girl #2: Yes.
Girl #1: I'm you're math tutor, nice to meet you.
Girl #2: Oh, you're cute! I could totally date you, but I'm not a lesbian.
Girl #1: Thanks! I could date you too, but I'm straight, and I have a boyfriend.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Tsunoba
For Some Reason, It Rarely Happens the Other Way Around
College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She's gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that's awesome! Y'know, nurses make the best porn stars.
Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont
Categories: Beauty | Frat boy types | Jobs & Careers | Porn | Questions | Relationships | Sorority types | Vermont | Posted 2009-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because I Buy You Drinks?
Girl: Dude, she digs you, why don't you ask her out?
Guy: She's fat.
Girl: You are so fucking pretentious and shallow.
Guy: I'm okay with that. It means I only fuck hotties.
Girl: We fucked, does that mean you think I'm a hottie?
Guy: No, that just means I was drunk and you were willing.
Girl: Why am I friends with you?
Guy: I have no idea.
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Beauty | Colorado | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Drinking & drunks | Girls | Guys | Insults | Sex | Posted 2009-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Whatever Your Name Is.
Very pregnant woman: I don't want to have this baby. I don't want to have to work all of this weight off.
Man: I think I should keep you pregnant. This is the least worst you've ever looked.
Hasting's
Wichita Falls, Texas
Overheard by: mikeface
Categories: Beauty | Birthing | Compare and contrast | Diet & weight | Guys | Preggers | Texas | Wishes | Posted 2009-11-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If They Nag, You Can Shoot 'em
Clerk: I love women. The only thing prettier than a woman is a deer.
Post Office
South Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Categories: Animals | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Employees | Gender issues | Post offices | Vermont | Posted 2009-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only on Thursday Nights.
Old man on phone: I am a beautiful woman.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Gender issues | Old folks | On the phone | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Just Supposed to Be Having Sex Shamefully in Cars and Stairwells
Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!
Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Bragging | Education | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Texas | Posted 2009-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mind If I Feed Her This Pot Brownie?
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could...
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.
University of Alabama
Categories: Age and ageing | Alabama | Beauty | Biotechs | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Parenting | Questions | Sorority types | Posted 2009-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe She's Good at It
Teenage girl #1: I don't understand how she has a boyfriend! She is so ugly!
Teenage girl #2: It's obviously because she puts out.
Teenage girl #1: So do I!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: I'll be your boyfriend
The Miss America Pageant Regretting Bringing on Marilyn Manson As a Judge
Girl to friend: When I think beautiful, I think green hair.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: Amused shopper
Categories: Beauty | California | Friends | Girls | Hair | Posted 2009-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's for Him to Decide
New dad: Look! These clothes are cute. Oh, look at this dress!
New mum: You have a boy, not a girl!
Department Store
Melbourne
Australia
The Difference Between Bad Nazis and Good Nazis, Encapsulated
Teen girl: If I saw a really crazy sandcastle, I'd totally kick it down. Anyone would.
Teen sister: I would never, like, mess something up like that if someone was really good at something. Unless they were really good at something I hated. Like... being ugly.
Rumson, New Jersey
I'd Totally Do That If It'd Make Me Young Again
Middle-aged woman, about teenager: She's so beautiful. She could be a model. (pause) I want to run her over with my car.
Bellingham, Washington
Creatures Often Crawl Out Of the Lake to Matriculate
Girl #1: Jane*'s nice.
Girl #2: Yeah. But she smells like a dirty used tampon.
Girl #1: Yeah, makes me sick a bit.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Girls | Sensory experiences | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...That Woman Is Fi Fie Foe Fine!
Crew member to friends: Oh, the gay cooks are nothing. I mean, yeah, they can have their feminine touches, but if you want real weird, you need Angela.
Friend: Angela? She sounds nice!
Crew member: She's head of security. She's two meters tall, and you need to take a step back before you can identify her as a woman.
Friend: Surely she's not that ugly?
Crew member: Oh look, there she is.
Friend: Oh my god!
Gent Jazz festival
Belgium
The New Apartheid
Teen girl driving car: I'm turning left because I'm ugly.
New Zealand
Overheard by: passenger
Categories: Beauty | Girls | New Zealand | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though This Is More Like a Guatemalan Mother Of Four
Girl, as friend shows apparently horrible picture of new driver's license: Oh, honey, it's okay! As my sister always says, everyone has their Puerto Rican orphan moment, one time or another...
Arabian Restaurant
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: henrietta
Categories: Beauty | Brazil | Family ties | Friends | Girls | Restaurants | Posted 2009-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is This the Best I'm Ever Gonna Look?
Sad-looking girl on cell: I'm trying my hardest to be pretty... I'm at the gym, like, every day!
Washington, DC
Categories: Beauty | Diet & weight | Girls | On the phone | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Broken a Lot Of Gay Hearts
Asian teenage girl, about sister who just left: She's so cute. She looks like a guy.
Sporting Carnival
Australia
Overheard by: Ouch
Categories: Asians | Australia | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Which Is Totally a Girl
Guy #1: Dude, have you seen this picture?
Guy #2: Nah, dude. Show it to me.
(guy #1 shows guy #2 picture of naked girl in a scenic background)
Guy #2: Dude, do you think it's gay that I think the scenery is the prettiest thing in this picture?
Guy #3, walking by: No, you just want to fuck the planet.
Carmel, Indiana
Freedom's Just Another Word for Lots Of Flab to Lose
Conservative Jewish girl: I think that the draft should be required, like in Israel. That way, every guy would have a great body, and I could let loose and get me a hot one more easily.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Categories: Beauty | California | Compare and contrast | Jews | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Add Some Lower-Back Tattoos and She's Hot
Teenage boy, to group of friends: You take an ugly chick, stick her on a bike, and she's okay! (friends nod)
Old Town
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: The Girl, Kat
Categories: Beauty | California | Friends | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Many People Start Fires.
Tourist chick, looking at rescuer on poster: Wow, if I knew I'd be rescued b a guy as hot as that, I would just jump.
Grand Canyon West Rim
Arizona
Overheard by: Long way down
Nobody Who's Been to England Ever Has to Ask
Pretty tween girl, looking around on busy street: What's with all these ugly people taking up all the space?
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Beauty | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Questions | Tweens | Posted 2009-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, Look at Betty Boop
Random girl to friend: Just because I've seen your o-face doesn't mean you're attractive.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: C.S.
That's Only 'Cause You Can't Hear Her
Annoying teen #1, looking at trashy magazine: She's cute.
Annoying teen #2: That's Jessica Simpson.
Annoying teen #1: Well, she looks good red-headed and with her mouth open.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Giggling quietly in the pharmacy sectino
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Default | Hair | Mouth | Pennsylvania | Teens | Posted 2009-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Confucius Was Quite the Misogynist
Old man to another: Well, ya know what they say. Life's too short to dance with ugly women!
Flea Market
Nashville, Tennessee
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Dancing | Default | Guys | Old folks | Tennessee | Posted 2009-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm All A-Tingle in My Bad Places.
Young hipster guy to another: You're so pretty when you're pretty!
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Iwalei
...In His Breadbox.
Guy: He has the brain of a supermodel.
Chino, California
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Stupidity | Posted 2009-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Come Help Me Pick Out a Thong.
Mother to three-year-old son: What are you doing? Come here, stop looking at the bras!
Son: (mumbles something unintelligible)
Mother: Yes, I know they're beautiful...but they're not for you!
Target
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amused Employee
That Rug Really Ties the Room Together
Girl student: So, the Federal Government is like, a puppy, like (giggle) they're so cute... And like, you want to just cuddle them, then they're naughty and it's bad.
Teacher: Kelly, could you please explain a bit more? I'm not getting your reasoning here.
Girl student: Well...they do good things, and it's cute, then they like pee on your rug, and it's bad.
Teacher: I promise you, the next time a member of the Federal Government pees on my rug, I will go bonkers.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: Tizri
Hope You Bitches Saved Me Some Weed
Mom: Why is the tv on with the mute on?
Daughter #1: Cause of the pretty moving pictures!
Daughter #2: Yeah! It's like an aquarium, but with Tom Hanks.
Upper Hutt
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kat
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | Default | Girls | Moms | New Zealand | Questions | Technology | Women | Posted 2009-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With That Cute Little Charlie Chaplin Mustache
Girl #1, about friend's makeup: This is definitely your color. Makes you look really classy.
Girl #2: Thanks!
Girl #1: Which is funny, because you're such a tramp.
Bus
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: plethora
Categories: Australia | Beauty | Bus | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Posted 2009-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Think Church Is Working for You, Ramón
Guy: Who's that?
Girl: That's jenny.
Guy: How do we know her?
Girl: From church. She's so humble and pretty! And to think she looks like that after giving birth!
Guy: Ugh! What a bitch!
Mall
Manila
Philippines
They'd Kick Themselves When Lauren Hutton's Career Took Off
Guy #1: She is just not attractive. I thought it might help when she smiled, but it didn't.
Guy #2: I know! It only makes it worse.
Wendy's
Carrollton, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Default | Gripes | Guys | Restaurants | Texas | Posted 2009-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It's My Cross to Bear
Nervous tattooed boy: I mean, your face is really really beautiful, though.
Bored pretty girl, nodding: Yeah, that's true.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: invisiblepilot
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compliments | Default | Girls | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-02-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Everyone Lived Happily Ever After
20-something #1: So I saw the earrings on his nightstand and I took them.
20-something #2: What? You really took them? Why?
20-something #1: Because she took two of his t-shirts when she left the other night, and left her earrings behind so she would have an excuse to see him again! It's like Fatal Attraction!
20-something #2: But you took her earrings, and still spent the night with him after she did! What the hell? (pause) Are those them?
20-something #1: Yeah.
20-something #2: They're cute.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: A Cheek
Categories: Beauty | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Movies | Questions | Posted 2009-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Bringing Bathroom Sexy Back
20-something girl: I don't care how much bathrooom sex he's had; he's still really, really sexy. I mean, just look at him. Sooo sexy.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: bringin sexy back
Categories: Beauty | Compliments | Default | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...6.0 on an Internatinal Figure-Skating Scale
Guy: I mean, she was a one on a binary scale, but...
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lulia
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Science | Posted 2008-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I've Thought About That, Too
Girl: Cara is so cute.
Guy: Yeah, she's adorable.
Girl: I mean, if I were a lesbian, I'd have sex with her.
Guy: I'm a little creeped out by that.
Girl: I mean, I've thought about it... (slight pause) I've never weighed myself!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Beauty | Bi-curious | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Girls | Guys | Massachusetts | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What the Overhead Lights Are For
Flight attendant (on PA): Chances are they're all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.
Southwest Flight over California
Overheard by: Armen
Categories: Advice | Airports & flights | Beauty | California | Default | Flight attendants | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Get Into My Van, and We'll Discuss It There
Single mom to four-year-old son: Will you just stop being a cupcake and go ask him?
Four-year-old (sighing, then approaching a man nearby): Excuse me? Do you think my mom is pretty?
Manchester, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Taylor
Categories: Beauty | Default | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Kids | Moms | New Hampshire | Offers and requests | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...In Unrelated News
Preppy guy #1: "Pangaea," like the continent?
Preppy guy #2: Yeah, my sister just had a face lift.
Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Rev Loon
Plus, It Totally Clashed with My Pumps
Frat boy to another: It was the ugliest lipstick I've ever seen!
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Anna
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Fashion | Frat boy types | New York | Posted 2008-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In This Month's Cosmo: "How to Get Guys to Watch Chick Flicks"
Girl: Yeah, but he has a really nice penis. I like to play with it while we watch movies.
overheardattcnj.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Overheard at TCNJ
Categories: Beauty | Compliments | Default | Girls | Movies | Other sites | Penis | Time Management | Posted 2008-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember This When We Get Back to Detroit
Older man to wife, moving luggage into hotel room: Really, honey? You want to complain about that? You actually want to go to the front desk and tell them that your room is too nice?
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: I'm not complainin'
As Long As She Passes the Talent Portion
Teenage girl walking with friends: Oh, she's pretty, I can be friends with her.
Denver, Colorado
That Damn Talking Mirror Tells Her All the Time
Guy to brunette: Yo, tell your friend she's beautiful.
Brunette, about hot redhead: Oh, don't worry, she knows.
Grasshopper On The Green
New Jersey
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Compliments | Default | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Posted 2008-11-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Should I Write My Number on His Hand in Crayon?
Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha...you're charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I've heard.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Kids | Kids | On the phone | Sexuality | Wisconsin | Words | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Won't Be Voting for Him for President
Gay man to friend: He's not hot enough to have AIDS!
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser
Riverdale Hasn't Been the Same Since Archie Went Off the Rails
Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.
Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Default | Girls | Offers and requests | Oregon | Questions | Relationships | Restaurants | STDs | Teens | Posted 2008-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Brought Down Property Values
Large black woman: They were the finest people on the block, but man, were their kids ugly!
Kohl's
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jyoshiki
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Kids | New Jersey | Women | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Other Than Getting Punched, of Course
Chick: Giving a blow job is totally the best lip plumper.
Alameda, California
Categories: Advice | BJs | Beauty | Body parts | California | Chicks | Default | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Ovulating or Desperate?"--The New Party Game That's Sweeping the Nation!
Young professional girl: He's cute. But then again, lately I think every guy is cute.
Friend: Are you ovulating?
Young professional girl: No. I think I'm just desperate.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Sigh. Me too.
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Friends | Gender issues | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Posted 2008-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think We Could Get That Classified As a Learning Disorder?
Guy #1: Sometimes it's hard being a guy.
Guy #2: Why is that?
Guy #1: Well, I try to stay focused and get shit done, but every time a female walks by I feel obligated to turn around and check out her tits and ass. I just want to get through a project without being distracted by tits and ass.
Guy #2: Yeah, but don't you worry you might miss the world's greatest tits and ass?
Guy #1: Exactly!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: sean
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Colorado | Default | Fears | Gender issues | Gripes | Guys | Questions | Posted 2008-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Poor Prince Harry
Girl #1: Yuck! You dated him? Why?
Girl #2: Well, I thought he was cute, but it turns out he was really just rich.
Manuel Antonio
Costa Rica
Categories: Beauty | Default | Girls | Money | Questions | Relationships | South America | Posted 2008-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Orange Really Is the Prettiest Color
Hobo to another: Well, I think I have a very nice smile.
Burlington, Vermont
We Need to Cast the Next Season of America's Next Top Model
Lady in late twenties to male companion: Where is my list of ugly people?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: someone who would like to read that list
Categories: Beauty | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Take Your Side Ponytail With You
Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.
Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Cops | Default | Drunks | Gender issues | Rack | Posted 2008-08-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Miss Narcissus Suffers from Low Self-Esteem
Female office worker: Once I was at this club and there was a mirror across from me. Not only did I walk into it and break it accidentally, but before I did it, I remember looking at myself and saying, "Who is this bitch?" and then, crash. I talked shit about myself and then I broke the mirror.
Walnut Creek, California
Overheard by: trose
Categories: Beauty | California | Default | Insults | Memory lane | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Getting Thinner with Every Stomach Spasm!
Drunk girl to another drunk girl puking at the curb: Girl, it's okay girl. You're still cute, girl.
Greenville, South Carolina
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compliments | Default | Drunks | Girls | South Carolina | Posted 2008-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Without All Those People Cluttering Up the Landscape
Dude: Cool, you were in Asia... How was it?
Chick: The tsunami was the best thing for Thailand, everything was so clean and pretty afterwards.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Sean_G
But If Enough Rain Builds Up, You Can Watch Me Walk on Water
Angry traveler: The flight's canceled because of weather?!? Can't you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma'am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: He's not so Godlike
Kinda Like Meryl Streep
Guy #1: You're beautiful... you're beautiful.
Guy #2: No... but I'm not fuckable beautiful!
University of California, San Diego
Overheard by: whoa mango
Categories: Beauty | California | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Default | Guys | Sex | Posted 2008-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Just Say She's in Shape
Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She's 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn't answer my question.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Chicks | Colorado | Family ties | Guys | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does That Include the Sombrero?
Tall chick: I wish I could find a nice, tall guy.
Friend #1: My brother is 6'5".
Tall chick: Is he cute?
Friend: Well...
Friend #2: He looks like a Mexican pedophile.
Tall chick: 6'5", eh? I'll think about it.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Colorado | Default | Family ties | Friends | Relationships | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Real Sex God
Literature teacher: So what the Europeans did was take the description of Jesus from the texts and made their images of him Caucasian so as to be more relatable to those they were teaching to.
Girl of questionable literacy: European Jesus was hot.
Delta Secondary School
Ladner, British Columbia
Canadia
Tonight's Movie: The Other Sister
Customer (ordering a birthday cake for his wife): Can you put "You're better lookin' than your twin sister" on it?
Alpine Bakery
Concord, California
Categories: Beauty | California | Compliments | Customers | Default | Family ties | Food | Offers and requests | Questions | Posted 2008-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Lipstick Kind, at Least?
Size 4 girl #1: I love H&M but it makes me feel so fat. I have to wear a size 6 or 8 when I shop here.
Size 4 girl #2: Yeah, and that vest makes you look like a lesbian.
H&M
Chicago, Illinois
Our Prediction: Advertising Will Eventually Convince You That You Do
Girl #1 to friend (indicating a cream to get rid of razor burn bumps on the bikini area): Does this stuff work okay?
Girl #2: Yeah, it works, it just smells kinda funny.
Girl #1: I don't care how it smells, it's goin' next to my vagina. I don't need no strawberries.
Target
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Kendra
Lady, You Live in the Wrong Fucking State
Older woman working out with personal trainer: I'm almost 70 years old. Ask me how much I care how I look. I don't even have a mirror in my bathroom. I was just interested in a chemical peel. They wanted to roll my skin up over my head, take out the fat, then roll it down again, not to mention take out my liver and kidney. And the woman that's dragging me around to this stuff? She's a gusher. I hate gushers. She says: "We'll go through this together". She says: "Ask the gods." Can you imagine me asking the gods for a facelift? What blasphemy. She says: "Tell me about yourself". I say: "You mean the heroin addiction?" She says: "Really?" I say: "Yeah, it was after my two daughters were born, when I started robbing banks to support us." Honestly, everything has to be so sordid before someone will listen to you. You have to have an incestuous affair or something. When in reality, I work all day, then come home and watch TV like the rest of the human race.
Women's gym
Studio City, California
Overheard by: Trying not to howl with laughter
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Old folks | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...for Chip 'n' Dale
Little boy, covered in glitter: Mom! Casey's whompin' glitter on me again!
Little girl: I am not!
Mother: She's just tryin' to make you look pretty!
Magic Kingdom, Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Natalie
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Family ties | Florida | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Kids | Kids | Moms | Tourist attractions | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Chyna's a Great Role Model for Girls
Seven-year-old girl: Mom, when I grow up I wanna be big and beautiful.
Mom: What?
Seven-year-old girl: You heard me, big and beautiful!
Target, Connecticut
I Assume That Means a General Lack of Randiness
Girl: What about her? She's cute.
Guy: Yeah... but her boobs are small.
Girl: What's wrong with small boobs anyway?
Guy: They're... not... big.
Restaurant, Oregon
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Oregon | Questions | Restaurants | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everyone's a Beautiful Woman After 12 Tequila Shots
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can't talk right now, I'm surrounded by FBI agents, but I've got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don't know, they're all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Beauty | Crimes | Default | Drugs | Drunks | Family ties | Guys | Massachusetts | Money | Offers and requests | On the phone | Sexuality | Train | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As We Shall See in Today's Film, Big British MILFs
Biology professor: There are a lot of great tits in england.
Knox College
Galesburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Oh, bio...
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Geography | Illinois | Teachers | Posted 2008-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Good Ever Comes of Communication
Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That's it? Just "yep"?
Husband: Looks very different. It'll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Do I Need to Show You the Algorithm Again?
Guy: I would ask her out, but she's just so dumb. I mean, like, soo dumb.
Girl: Can't you just overlook that for one night?
Guy: She's not quite cute enough.
San Jose, California
Categories: Beauty | California | Girls | Guys | Questions | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since His Parole Officer Told Him to Keep His Ass Clean
Teen girl: Sam is so sexy. There's like, no poopy on him.
Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: I don't know about you
Categories: Beauty | Compliments | Florida | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Poop | Sexuality | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh Honey, a Sorority Girl Doesn't Need a Personality
Sorority girl #1: I should, like, just wear mini skirts all the time.
Sorority girl #2: Why?
Sorority girl #1: I have great legs, they're my best asset. [quiet pause] But I don't like my personality.
Dressing Room at Buffalo Exchange
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Yes! She just redeemed herself
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Sorority types | Texas | Posted 2008-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Body Nazis Are So Vulnerable to Imperfection
Girl: I am going to show you guys my toe, and you're gonna be sorry!
Cresson, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Sensory experiences | Threats | Posted 2008-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At That Point My Crush Was Ova
Girl to friend: So, there was this cute guy, and I was standing behind him, and he just started laying eggs!
Government Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: meems
Categories: Animals | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Friends | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For One Thing, He Looks Less Like a Gay Man
[Beauty & the Beast sing-a-long.]
Drunk girl: Is it just me... or is the beast-beast hotter than the human beast?
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Drunks | Feelings | Girls | Movies | North Carolina | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Projecting onto My Kids Seems to Help
Honest soccer mom: I'm really trying to get into the whole body-acceptance thing, but I just can't get past how disgusting it is.
Westchester County, New York
I Figure Since He Died for Me, I May As Well Give Him Something Nice to Look At
Man: I'm giving up bread for lent.
Woman: Is that because Jesus Christ died for your sins, or because you're concerned with your figure?
Starbucks
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Maggie
Categories: Beauty | Christianity | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Food | Guys | Holidays | Jesus | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is a Photo Of a Manatee, Sir
Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don't like your fat wife doesn't mean I don't!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Diet & weight | Feelings | Friends | Guys | Pennsylvania | Relationships | Restaurants | Posted 2008-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Like to Make a "Donation" to That Cause, If You Know What I Mean
Girl: So Natalie Portman is speaking tonight. I want to go.
Boy: What is it about?
Girl: Poverty, but who cares? It's Natalie Portman.
Boy: Yeah, fuck poverty, she's hot.
University
Berkeley, California
Categories: About celebrities | Beauty | California | Colleges & Universities | Education | Friends | Girls | Guys | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In L.A., Teenage Girls Who Don't Look Good Naked Are Put to Death
Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy's myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn't.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I'd look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that's just a fact. It doesn't mean he likes you.
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Beauty | Bragging | California | Comebacks | Compliments | Friends | Girls | Pride | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Storytelling Is a Lost Art
Drunk bimbette: Oh my god! I used to like this ugly guy once... Then I realized he was ugly and stopped liking him.
Barbeque
Jundiaí
Brazil
Categories: Beauty | Bimbettes | Brazil | Compare and contrast | Drunks | Feelings | Restaurants | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nala Would Be an Animal in Bed, Though
Drunk college guy: Is that Nala?
Drunk college chick: She is so pretty... Don't you think she's pretty?
Drunk college guy: I'm not really into cartoons...[after several seconds] I gotta say, though, Kim pretty hot.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Megan
I'm... Black?
Traffic cop: She said, "Do you like it?" and I was like, "Yeah, it looks really nice." And then she said, "Is it subtle?" and I was like "Jenny*, you're a black woman with orange and yellow hair!"
Plymouth, Michigan
Overheard by: Morgz
And Shoes. Don't Forget Shoes
High school chick #1: Omygod, I totally love him.
High school chick #2: Omygod, me too.
High school chick #1: I mean, he is like easily the hottest guy at our school.
High school chick #2: Oh totally. Like he is soooo cute.
[pause].
High school chick #2: What does he look like again?
High school chick #1: Um, like, I think he wears jeans a lot.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Clothes | Default | Feelings | New Zealand | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Students | Teens | Posted 2008-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Cute Buttplug!
Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: "Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty."
Women's Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Beauty | Compliments | Default | Hair | San Francisco | Women | Posted 2008-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Make-a-Wish People Laughed at Me
Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!
Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama
...Once I Ran Out of Poop
Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]
Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.
Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | California | Default | Family ties | Food | Geography | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Malls | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Lacked the Sweet Aroma Of Chemicals and Seared Flesh
Brunette girl: Well, they were blondes, but they were natural blondes, so not like, hot blondes.
Melbourne
Australia
Mmm, Faminelicious.
Chick: Brazilians are the bomb.
Dude: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can't afford food.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com" rel="external">www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Diet & weight | Food | Gender issues | Geography | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How the Colonials Felt about John Hancock
Queer en route to Obama rally: Oh my god, he's so cute. Do you think he'll sign my ass for me?
Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Jane
Categories: Beauty | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Default | Idiots | Ohio | Queers | Questions | Posted 2008-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If He Starts Doing Lipo, That's Marriage Material
30-ish blonde #1: So, what do you think of my date?
30-ish blonde #2: He seems nice... Plus, he's a plastic surgeon!
30-ish blonde #1: Hmmm... I don't really like him. Plus, he only does same day procedures. I'm only dating him for the free Botox.
30-ish blonde #2: I totally understand. I would only date him for free Botox, too.
Ladies' room, The Wilshire
Santa Monica, California
Categories: Beauty | Bimbettes | California | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2008-02-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Everything They Say Is Grounded in Reality
Ugly girl #1: What happened to you? You used to be so photogenic!
Ugly girl #2: I am photogenic! Even the born-again Christian who came to my house said so!
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: blue block
On a Good Day, She's You-Don't-Have-to-Be-Drunk-Pretty
Hipster on cell: She's not ugly, she's just not leave-your-girlfriend-pretty.
McDonald's
Morristown, New Jersey
Categories: Beauty | Gossip | Hipsters | New Jersey | Posted 2008-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Need a Nice Set of Operational Definitions
Male MBA #1: We should have a contest to see who can bring the hottest date to charity ball.
Male MBA #2: That wouldn't work, because looks are subjective.
Female MBA: Um... No... Some people are objectively hot. You can be empirically attractive.
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Beauty | Overheard at KMC | Students | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Has Two Towers
High school girl: Yeah, he's cute, but in a kind of Lord of the Rings way.
Starbucks, Bloor Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Myrna
Oh, Poor Maggie Gyllenhaal
Chick #1: Was she cute?
Chick #2: No, she was fugs! She looked like an anorexic bear. You know, like, at the circus? One of the ones that are tortured... And forced to wear party hats.
Red Line train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I totally know what you mean...
In Recent Years, Mr. Rove's Tastes Had Changed
Bra-less woman in tight pink polo shirt, to boyfriend: I asked Carl what his new girlfriend looked like, and he didn't even hesitate -- he just said, 'Shrek'!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: stephanie
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-11-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bad Things All Start Out Innocently Enough
Guy: Dude, I'll hook you up. My wife is hot, but her friends are hotter.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
The Beautiful Have a Wider Range of Things to Go Wrong, Though
Bimbette #1: You know what must suck?
Bimbette #2: What?
Bimbette #1: It must suck to be ugly. Because then, on top of everything else that's going wrong in your life, you're, like, ugly.
Bimbette #2: Yeah...
Buddhism class
Virginia
Overheard by: Mindygotback
About As Deep As Men Get
Chick #1: Sometimes I talk to my guy friends about the difference between women who are hot and women who are beautiful.
Chick #2: Which would they rather be with?
Chick #1: Hot in high school, but beautiful for getting married, because she'll be beautiful forever.
All chicks: Awww!
Chick #3: That is so deep.
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: Holly Golightly
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Washington | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With a Hint of Schmuck and a Dash of Tool
Blonde, about brunette's fiancé: He's too pretty to be hot.
Brunette: No, he's hot... Just more like douchebag-hot.
Aspenhof Lake
Washington, Missouri
Overheard by: Mandi
And Over Easy
Guy #1, about super tan waitress: Wow, she's well done. I prefer medium-well.
Guy #2: Yeah, me, too. I like a little pink.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Overheard by: evh
The Tusks Are a Dead Giveaway
Dude #1: Is that him? I can't tell from here.
Dude #2: That's him. I can tell because he looks like a walrus.
Beloit, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Coo-coo-ca-choo
Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung
Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Biotechs | Maladies | North America | On the phone | Stores | Texas | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm So Sneaking into the Men's Locker Room!
Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Categories: Australia | Beauty | Body parts | Overheard in Sydney | Public transportation | Train | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Girl Wouldn't Want a Liquid-Metal Lover?
Chick #1 watching Terminator II: The bad guy in this is so hot...
Chick #2: Totally. In, like, a blond, blue-eyed, Nazi S-and-M porn kind of way.
Chick #1: So hot...
Chick #2's boyfriend: What the fuck is wrong with you two?!
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts