Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Assholes All Categories > Topics > Assholes
Recent | Best Of
Then Wouldn't "Tight Asshole" Be Kinder?
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he'd take it as a compliment...
Guy: I get it! It's because he's gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Assholes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Girls | Guys | Insults | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith
Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny's fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don't ever say that again.
Restaurant
Redlands, California
Categories: Assholes | California | Compare and contrast | Education | Etiquette | Gossip | Grumpies | Guys | Restaurants | Sexuality | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, I Miss College
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people's clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Assholes | Clothes | Crimes | Default | Friends | Girls | Mental illnesses | Money | New Jersey | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Before the Whores
Mother to young son in shopping cart: Do you wanna leave?! Do you wanna leave?! How many times do I have to tell you? Don't lick the cart!
Easton, Massachusetts
