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Don't Flirt With the Homeless, Dude
Gay guy to hobo: Good morning. Did you get a hair cut?
Hobo: (mutters about spare change)
Gay guy: I know you got a hair cut! See, if you would have said hi to me, maybe I would have given you a dollar or something! (starts walking down street) Why do people have to be so ignorant on such a sunny day?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Meater Maid
Categories: Assholes | Bragging | Hobos | Money | Panhandling | Pennsylvania | Queers | Posted 2010-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mary Now Remembers Why They Stopped Dating
Girl, to guy who just got off a ski lift: Joe? Is that you? It's Mary. We used to date!
Guy: Oh, yeah, I thought you looked familiar from behind.
Ski Resort
Tahoe, Nevada
Categories: Assholes | Girls | Guys | Nevada | Relationships | Posted 2010-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Apparently Ending Sentences with Prepositions Is Not on That List.
Amnesty International worker: Do you guys have a minute to help end violence against women?
Dude #1: I'm Cambridge's one registered Republican. Do you have a minute to talk about the things I don't have a minute for?
Dude #2: Burn!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Assholes | Comebacks | Guys | Massachusetts | Time Management | Posted 2010-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Friends Say It All the Time.
Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that's not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!
Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Ass | Assholes | Comebacks | Diet & weight | Kids | Moms | New Jersey | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Posted 2009-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Ask the Jews to Be on Our Side, Though
Teen girl to friend: We could be like the next Hitler, but cooler!
Friend: Oooh, awesome!
Toronto
Canadia
Hey, Some Shoes Aren't Virtuous-- Crocs? Wingtips?
Young gay man: Whereas, lacking the virtue of shoes, men must content themselves with being jerks.
Female friend: A poor consolation, and unfashionable.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Bethany
Wait'll We Hit Corporate America
Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.
Montevallo, Alabama
Strangely Less Inappropriate
Bro #1: You were about to make fun of a girl who was missing a hand!
Bro #2 (defensively): An arm!
Rogue Valley Mall
Medford, Oregon
Is My Little Brother Getting Sober?
Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?
National Zoo
Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
Categories: Assholes | Default | Frat boy types | Questions | Tourist attractions | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Think I Wanna Play Dungeons and Dragons with You Anymore
Serious biker: Virgins are great! You can use them as currency.
Blowfish Sushi
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: tangotravellers
Categories: Assholes | California | Default | Guys | Money | Restaurants | Virginity | Posted 2008-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Like Two-Legged Mace
Girl (about her college): The on-campus security is really good too, the campus police will get to you in like, 30 seconds. I'm still thinking about getting mace or something.
Girl's younger brother: No one wants to rape you.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Quazarfreez
Even When It's Minty-Fresh
Guy to girlfriend: Okay! I promise I won't talk about the smell of your vagina ever again.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Assholes | Default | Guys | Massachusetts | Vagina | Posted 2008-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kids Are Easily Fooled by Short Haircuts and Baritone Voices
Mother holding small child as she sees a girlfriend: Sammi* look! It's Debbie! Say hi to Debbie!
Small child: Hi, ugly man!
Target
Traverse City, Michigan
That PhD in Fingerpainting Didn't Earn Itself, Sister!
Woman #1: I can't believe they set you up.
Woman #2: I know. I mean, the guy did not even have a college degree. I don't want to sound like an elitist, but I am a doctor. What were they thinking?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dave
Categories: Assholes | Default | Friends | Overheard in PDX | Women | Posted 2008-07-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Wouldn't "Tight Asshole" Be Kinder?
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he'd take it as a compliment...
Guy: I get it! It's because he's gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Assholes | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Girls | Guys | Insults | Sexuality | Words | Posted 2008-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith
Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny's fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don't ever say that again.
Restaurant
Redlands, California
Categories: Assholes | California | Compare and contrast | Education | Etiquette | Gossip | Grumpies | Guys | Restaurants | Sexuality | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, I Miss College
College girl: Remember that girl who admitted to stealing my clothes from the laundry room?
Friend: Yeah?
College girl: Well, she finally gave me my clothes back at the end of the semester before she mysteriously disappeared. I was like going through them and I found not just my clothes, but like other people's clothes too. Not just girls either. I found tighty-whities and shit. But the weirdest part was at the bottom of the basket. There was a plastic bag of jewelry ranging from like cheapo rhinestone shit to like semiprecious stones, a tv remote with no batteries, a crazy-straw, some masking tape, an empty lipstick tube thing, and a handful of Canadian money.
Newark, New Jersey
Categories: Assholes | Clothes | Crimes | Default | Friends | Girls | Mental illnesses | Money | New Jersey | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Before the Whores
Mother to young son in shopping cart: Do you wanna leave?! Do you wanna leave?! How many times do I have to tell you? Don't lick the cart!
Easton, Massachusetts
