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Christianity's All About the Special Effects
Girl to mother: You know, that's why I'm so messed up. My main memories of church are smearing fake blood on a Ken doll for Cain killing Abel, with pigeons cooing at me; and dancing across the stage in a pink tutu for The Odyssey.
Aurora, Colorado
Like Richard Simmons
Bimbette #1: Wait, is a bird a mammal? I don't think it's a mammal...
Bimbette #2: I think a bird is, like, its own species.
B train
Boston, Massachusetts
Turkeys: Damn Right!
Brunette: Hold up -- I just want to grab some turkey.
Redhead: Why?
Brunette: ... So I can make a turkey sandwich?
Redhead: Yeah, I know, but we have chicken back home.
Brunette: Uh-huhhh -- and I want a turkey sandwich.
Redhead: It's the same thing.
Brunette: No. No, it's not.
Redhead: Alright, then what's the difference?
Brunette: ... One's a fucking turkey.
Long Island Super Market
Long Island, New York
Does "Chicken Salad Toss" Mean What I Think It Means?
Hotel guest exiting meeting: You know, in a case like this I would typically use the phrase, 'I wouldn't trust it as far as I could throw it,' but I could throw that chicken pretty far.
The Phoenician Resort
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Accurate...
Sure, Ernie, I'd Be Glad To
Crazy college student: Can you take the rubber ducky? I can't bring him into the cafeteria. There's no duck food in there.
Blanton Hall, Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Rubber Ducks don't eat
Categories: Birds | New Jersey | Students | Posted 2007-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Flamingos: Let's Beat the Crap Out of Her
Child: Look!
Mom: They're just flamingos. They don't do anything.
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Suezahn
Oh, in That Case I'd Be a Cheetah
Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night -- I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you're high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don't like birds.
Guy #3: I'd be a pterodactyl, dude.
Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Categories: Birds | Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | New York | Questions | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Quoth the Raven: "Jackass."
College dude #1: What are those birds that fucking talk?
College dude #2: Parrots?
College dude #1: No, that's what my teacher said... Ravens! That's right!
College dude #2: Ravens talk? That's like Edgar Allen Poe shit or something.
College dude #1: No, dude, they for real only say like one word, though.
College dude #2, imitating a raven: Aquafina!
College dude #1: Yeah, dude! 'Aquafina!' Only I'd make mine say, 'Radiator.'
www.overheardinpittsburgh.com
Categories: Birds | Idiots | Overheard in Pittsburgh | Words | Posted 2007-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Food Chain's There -- We Just Have to Use It
Girl: I hate geese.
Guy: Because they're Canadian?
Girl: No, the fat white ones. I hate them because they're fat. And greedy.
Guy: Yeah, what's up with that? They always run right up to you if you have bread.
Girl: And they totally harass the ducks, man!
Guy: Yeah, what the fuck?! Stupid geese. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit.
Girl: Yeah!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: Birds | Grumpies | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Food Chain's There -- We Just Have to Use It
Girl: I hate geese.
Guy: Because they're Canadian?
Girl: No, the fat white ones. I hate them because they're fat. And greedy.
Guy: Yeah, what's up with that? They always run right up to you if you have bread.
Girl: And they totally harass the ducks, man!
Guy: Yeah, what the fuck?! Stupid geese. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit.
Girl: Yeah!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Categories: Birds | Grumpies | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Knew You Didn't Have Mono Last Year
Grad student trying to impress a date: Pigeon shit is the most toxic bird poop.
Date: How do you know that?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
Categories: Birds | Overheard at Cornell | Poop | Students | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
