Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | Places | Venues

If He Dies, They'll Probably Let You Cut All the Lines

Eight-year-old kid in line for Universal Studios park ticket: I know how to get a discount ticket.
Eight-year-old friend: How?
Eight-year-old kid: You get your friend to come along with you, then you stab him in the neck and say "My friend's dying, can we have discount tickets?"

Universal Studios
Los Angeles, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...for Chip 'n' Dale

Little boy, covered in glitter: Mom! Casey's whompin' glitter on me again!
Little girl: I am not!
Mother: She's just tryin' to make you look pretty!

Magic Kingdom, Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Natalie

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Put the Bedazzler Down, Bert

Guy, aggressively: I'll sparkle you!

The Eiffel Tower
Paris
France

Overheard by: Emily

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I Feel the Magma Flowing Beneath Their Placid Surface

Mother to daughter, regarding t-shirts: We need to get you a big one 'cause your boobs are growing way too fast.
Flat-chested daughter: Yeah, I know.

Hollywood Tower of Terror Shop
Disneyland, California

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Good Thing Pluto Didn't Hear That

Chocolate store girl: You're a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I'm good-looking. You're-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I'll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you're gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex's dick when you're supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she's going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there

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As Depicted in All of My Paintings

Mother to daughter: I swear, next time you're going to smack your mouth on something and I'm just going to move you to the side and leave you there and watch the blood run down.

On Line for Space Mountain
Disney World, Florida

Overheard by: Kat

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In Case You're Curious...

Little boy: Dad, what's a "brer" rabbit?
Father: A rabbit with a lot of brer in it.

Magic Kingdom
Disney World, Florida

Overheard by: Natalie

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He'll Be Singing a Different Tune When Turtlenecks Come Back in Style

Twentysomething guy, excitedly: And all I could think was "Thank god im circumsized!"

Cherry Blossom Festival, National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: sara aliza

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Do We Have to Drag Bernie Everywhere We Go?

Little boy: But I don't care about the dead guys anymore!

Washington Monument
Washington, DC

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Mrs. Claus's Given Name Was Derek

Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.

County Fair
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jake

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Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal

Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

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On Second Thought, I'll Wheel Myself

Man pushing wheelchair lady, singing: Handicap, handicap, oh handy handy handy...

Epcot Park, Disney World
Florida

Overheard by: Euggh

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