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Right After He Repairs My Cable Box
Woman #1: Dammmnnn girl! This metro so damn crowded!
Woman #2: Shit yeah! Too many people here.
Woman #1: Don't worry, Obama gonna take care of that.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Gripes | Other sites | Politics | Public transportation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Original Screenplay for Waiting to Exhale Left Something to Be Desired
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo' sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Gays | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Smoking | Posted 2011-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
New Yorkers-in-Training
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we're stopped here because Amtrak's having signal trouble. They're working on the line, but don't know how long it'll take. We could be here five minutes, we could be here fifty minutes.
Loudmouthed commuter: I don't believe this--the same fucking thing happened on Monday!
Even louder commuter: Why the fuck you gotta use language like that?
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, let me remind you it is not the conductors' fault the train is stopped. We want to go home too, and we're stuck here on this train with you.
NJ Transit
Overheard by: Graceful Space
Categories: Employees | Etiquette | Insults | New Jersey | Public transportation | Posted 2011-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Could Anything So Seedy Happen in a Place Like Beaverton?
Woman: Is this the train that goes to Portland?
Smelly guy with slur: Yeah. (pause) Do you want some company?
Woman: What?
Smelly guy with slur: Want some company?
Woman: No!
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Bad Rabbit mAb
Categories: Offers and requests | Oregon | Public transportation | Questions | Women | Posted 2011-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: ...Until After We Have Sex
Slightly austistic girl to slightly austistic boyfriend: I just don't want our relationship to be dysfunctional...
Slightly austistic boyfriend: No! No! It won't...
School Bus
Categories: Couples | Public transportation | Relationships | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2011-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When One Partner Wants to Have "The Talk," It Just Fucking Happens
Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing's wrong, I'm just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing's wrong. We don't need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing's wrong. I'm on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Food | Illinois | On the phone | Public transportation | Relationships | Posted 2011-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Predict the Expression "Fantasy Bar" Will Soon Sweep the Nation
Teen girl eating Fantasy Bar brownie: You want some of my Fantasy Bar?
Male friend, suddenly paying attention: What? Heck yes, it's about time!
Union Station
Washington, DC
Categories: Default | Food | Friends | Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Questions | Teens | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...About the DVD Release Of Happy Feet
Man: My nipples are exploding with excitement!
Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Me too
Categories: Default | Feelings | Guys | Massachusetts | Nipples | Public transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is Quite an Impressive Resume
Woman on phone: Man, you know what open flesh smells like!
BART Station
Pittsburg, California
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Public transportation | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2009-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Some Kids Refuse to Come Out Of Their Shells
Little boy: Mommy, if a turtle has no shell is it naked or homeless?
Mother: It would be dead, sweetheart.
Little boy: That's sad, mommy.
Mother: No, it isn't, dear. Come on, this is our stop.
Metro
Washington, DC
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Feelings | Guys | Kids | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Questions | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2009-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well I Feel Thin!
Sober girl, enthusiastically, to friend who just threw up: You look cute!
Drunk friend, equally enthusiastic: I just threw up!
Sober girl, still enthusiastic: I bet you feel cute!
Subway Bathroom
Overheard by: tina
Categories: Compliments | Default | Drunks | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Public transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2009-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember the Days When I Was the Only One?
Old woman to young stranger: Is that your mother?
Young woman: No, bitch. That's my bitch.
Old woman to friend: Kids have way too many bitches these days.
Union Station
Washington, DC
Categories: Default | Family ties | Kids | Old folks | Public transportation | Questions | Strangers | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2009-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nobody Can Do Sexual Harassment Like the Insane
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy! I don't suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger's face: I don't suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren't jumpin' last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma'am, don't say that to me! You don't know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there's a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma'am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin' to fuck me standing up!? Why don't you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma'am, I'm calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Ass | BJs | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Default | Employees | Insults | Offers and requests | Penis | Pennsylvania | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Questions | Sex | Vagina | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pity Hillary and Obama Can't Be Civil
Lady, bumping into man: What? You're so in a rush you have to knock me down?!
Man: Sorry, I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Lady: Watch where you're going!
Man: Please leave me alone!
Lady: No! You leave me alone!
Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jim
Categories: Default | Gripes | Guys | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Questions | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2009-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sidesaddle, If She Liked
Young suit #1: I'd totally ride her.
Young suit #2: Her!?
Young suit #1: Yeah, what's up with her? She's very pleasant-looking.
Young suit #2: My point exactly. You don't "totally ride" (makes air quotes) someone who's pleasant-looking.
(pause)
Young suit #1: Fair enough. (pause) Okay then, I'd totally let her ride me.
Young suit #2: Yeah, me too.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Glasgow
Scotland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Public transportation | Questions | Scotland | Suits | Words | Posted 2009-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: "Welcome to New York, Muthafuckaaaas."
MTA worker to tourist mom buying tickets with daughter: 10 dollars.
Mom: Oh, but she's a student.
Worker, looking at daughter: Oh! How nice for you! (looks back at mom) Ten dollars please.
Subway Station
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Glad thats not my cheap-ass mom
Categories: Compliments | Default | Education | Employees | Moms | Money | New York | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Tourists | Women | Posted 2009-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Been Too Long Since I've Played Magic: The Gathering
Young female hill staffer #1: Right there in the friggin' book stacks...
Young female hill staffer #2: You were friggin' in the book stacks?
Young female hill staffer #1: Damn girl, I was watching, not doing.
Young female hill staffer #2: Wasted opportunity, if you ask me. I'd have joined in, or embarrassed the hell out of them till they let me in.
Capitol Hill South Metro Station
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Yoda
Categories: Books | Default | Girls | Public transportation | Questions | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is Your Brain on Subway Conducting...
Subway conductor, as train lights go out: Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently experiencing a delay because some yahoo cut the power lines walking at track level at St. George station. (ominously) Do you know where your children are?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Jtf
Categories: Canadia | Default | Employees | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Questions | Posted 2009-04-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Really Need Internet Access for This Sort Of Thing
Girl on subway to friend: It'd be weird to have sex with a girl.
Friend: Yeah, you wouldn't know where everything goes.
Girl: Nothing would fit. (pause) This is probably not a subway conversation.
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Default | Friends | Girls | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Sex | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Evidenced by the Last Election
Metro cop addressing large crowd waiting for the orange line: Keep moving down the platform. Move down, please!
Tired tourist mom: Move down, honey.
Little girl: Why?
Tired tourist mom: Because we're sheep, that's why.
Smithsonian Station, DC Metro
Washington, DC
Categories: Animals | Cops | Default | Family ties | Girls | Kids | Moms | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Questions | Tourists | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Worst. Condom Ad. Ever.
Woman on cell: Make sure you put it in a baggie so it doesn't get cooties everywhere. You know.
Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Condoms | Default | Massachusetts | Public transportation | STDs | Women | Posted 2009-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Let's Hurry or I'll Be Late for Botox
Mum: Do you want some McDonald's for lunch?
Seven-year-old girl: Ew, no, I'd rather die, I'll just have a latte, I think I'm getting a migraine.
Wahroonga Station
Sydney
Australia
She Was a Brilliant Preschool Teacher
Stewardess at gate: If everyone can have their boarding passes out and ready for me then I can make this go a lot quicker...and if you don't ask me any stupid questions that would help too, thank you! (smiles and starts scanning passes)
Flight from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Flight attendants | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Public transportation | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Part of the Magic
Tramcar driver in Magic Kingdom: It has come to my attention that people use their panic button to help them find their car. That is cheating. You must wander around aimlessly for a while first.
Disney World, Florida
Overheard by: Kristen
Categories: Conductors | Default | Florida | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Tourist attractions | Posted 2008-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Better Just Get Off the Train, Mom
Tourist lady, as train approaches the end of the line: So how are they going to turn this train around?
Daughter: They don't have to. It can go in either direction.
Tourist lady: Well, are they at least going to turn the seats around?
Subway
Washington, DC
Categories: Default | Girls | Kids | Kids | Moms | Public transportation | Questions | Technology | Tourists | Train | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2008-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Will Be Confetti and Speeches
Conductor: This is not the airport station. You will know it when you see it. I will make a big deal about it when we get there.
BART Station
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Glad my iPod was off
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Conductors | Default | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Posted 2008-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good God-- He's Got a Sock Puppet!
(a group of people are standing on the steps of the station, singing about Christianity)
Man, sprinting across the road: Run for your lives! He's preaching Jesus!
Flinders Street Station
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Skeeta
Well, We're Stopping, but We're Not Stopping-Stopping
Conductor (at tube stop before Finchley Road station): This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. I repeat, this train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (train pulls into Finchley Road, slows down and stops) This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (pause) I'm aware that we've actually stopped at Finchley Road, but we will not be stopping at Finchley Road.
Jubilee Underground Line
London
England
Overheard by: Tom
Categories: Conductors | Default | England | Public transportation | Train | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Every Job That Must Be Done, There Is an Element of Fun
Gay male flight attendant: If you'll be requiring wheelchair assistance when we get to Cleveland, please remain seated. Because, if you stand up, we'll assume you've been healed by the Holy Spirit and no longer need our help.
Passengers: (laughter)
Flight attendant: And please keep your seatbelts fastened until we've reached the gate and come to a complete stop.
(man in front row unbuckles his belt)
Flight attendant: Stop it, cheater!
Southwest Airlines Flight
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Erica
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Flight attendants | God | Offers and requests | Ohio | Public transportation | Queers | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Time She'll Sing The Beatles' "Ticket to Ride"
College girl: Can I have one ticket for the midnight train, going anywhere?
Ticket vendor: (blank stare)
College girl: Not so funny out loud as it is in my head, huh? One ticket to Rome, please!
Amtrak Station
Buffalo-Depew, New York
Categories: Default | New York | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Questions | Sorority types | Time Management | Posted 2008-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With "Quantum Physics" at a Close Second
Drunk girl: I love cheese! It's because I eat so much of it, it's my number one interest on Facebook!
Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia
What Passes for Legal Argument in Australia
Goth lolita girl: I'm sensing some copyright violations in your aura.
Emo guy: Nuh-uh!
Chatswood Station
Sydney
Australia
What Kind of Landlady Makes Bandana-Wearing a Lease Requirement?
Girl on cell: So, did I tell you? I got fired from my job. (pause) Yeah, I guess I'm not a very good gay and lesbian promoter. (pause) Well I'm not gay, so maybe that had something to do with it. (pause) Oh, didn't you hear? I got kicked out of my apartment last week, too. (pause) Yeah, it's gay.
Redline MAX
Portland, OR
Overheard by: Gus
Categories: Default | Girls | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Oregon | Public transportation | Questions | Sexuality | Posted 2008-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Santa Summers in Stamford
Conductor: Stamford, Stamford stop is...ooh, did you see those two baby reindeer?!
MetroNorth Train
Stamford, Connecticut
Categories: Animals | Conductors | Connecticut | Public transportation | Questions | Train | Posted 2008-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Got High Enough to Develop Altitude Sickness
Hipster chick #1: Yeah, we did opium last night.
Hipster chick #2: How was that?
Hipster chick #1: I vomited until my ears popped.
Hipster chick #2: Awesome!
Blue Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Eve
Categories: Default | Drugs | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | Illinois | Public transportation | Questions | Posted 2008-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What Thongs Are Supposed to Feel Like, Billy
Five-year-old boy, loudly interrupting adults: I have a wedgie!
(adults laugh)
Five-year-old boy: This wedgie train is carrying wedgies!
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Default | Guys | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Undies | Posted 2008-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Kindly Fasten Your Seat Belts in Case the Doors Fly Off
Stewardess: Sorry for the delay, ladies and gentlemen. The first two planes we tried didn't work, so this is the third one and we made it here okay...so, so far, so good!
Airport Runway
Cabo San Lucas
Mexico
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Flight attendants | North America | Public transportation | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's My Prerogative
Young pregnant mother, gratefully accepting seat on crowded tram: Come over here and sit with mummy, Adam.
Four-year-old: Noooooooooo.
Mother: C'mon, Adam, come sit with mummy.
Four-year-old: Noooooooo (but slinks over and sits down anyway)
Mother: Better?
Four-year-old: You've ruined my life, mom.
Mother: Yes, honey, I know.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Soap Oprah
Categories: Australia | Default | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Parenting | Preggers | Public transportation | Train | Posted 2008-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hard for Girls to Compete With That
Gross girl: Well, that girl's bathroom wasn't that bad.
Grosser guy: Well, the flies come to the men's because they like the pee pee floor. Mmmhmm.
Metro Red Line
Washington, DC
Categories: Default | Girls | Guys | Insects | Pee | Public transportation | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Extolling the Virtues Of Her HMO
Mother to son: I'm not sure, but I think grandma was high.
Union Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Seska
Categories: Default | Drugs | Family ties | Illinois | Moms | Public transportation | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Have Plenty of Time for That When You're in Your 20's and Getting Out of Limos
Mother to daughter hopping up and down on escalator: Now Beth*, if you keep doing that your pants are going to get caught in the conveyor belt and they'll be ripped off and all of South Station is going to see your little mermaid underwear. [Girl immediately stops.]
South Station
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Meg
Categories: Clothes | Default | Fears | Girls | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Moms | Public transportation | Threats | Posted 2008-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Delta Burke Saw His Point
Bum women: Do you have bus fare? I need bus fare.
Woman: Sorry, I don't have any change.
Bum: Well, fuck you, you fat, scheming, cheap bitches!
Main Street
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Bag ladies | Character | Connecticut | Grumpies | Insults | Money | Offers and requests | Public transportation | Women | Posted 2008-05-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Escaped from the Closet and Alerted Red Riding Hood
Fat suit on cell: Damn that grandma!
Russell Square Station
London
England
Categories: Age and ageing | Family ties | Fat people | Guys | Insults | Public transportation | Suits | UK | Words | Posted 2008-04-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Embrace Your Degradation
Ticket collector: The bus is now here. Anyone going to Camden, Malden, or Newark, please step forward.
Custodian: Come on, step forward. You don't gotta be embarrassed if you're going to Newark.
Greyhound Station
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Advice | Blue collar | Default | Pennsylvania | Public Transportation | Public transportation | Posted 2008-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When Race Relations Were Improving in Boston
White tourist: I'm really sorry -- I don't have any change. If I did, I'd give you some, but I don't, so... sorry. Good luck with everything...
Black dude: Cracka, I'm ain't homeless!
Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Default | Feelings | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Tourists | Whiteys | Posted 2008-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm So Sneaking into the Men's Locker Room!
Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Categories: Australia | Beauty | Body parts | Overheard in Sydney | Public transportation | Train | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
