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Later, They'd Vomit Up Quarters

Drunk girl #1: I'm Wells Fargo!
Drunk girl #2: Really? I'm Wells Fargo, too!
(they gleefully skip off together)

Pearl St Mall
Boulder, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | History | Malls | Movies | Posted 2008-07-02 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

From the "Bump N' Grind" Escort Service

Suit on cell: I don't know much about this party he's throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.

Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California


Overheard by: Amy


Categories: California | Default | Malls | On the phone | Pregnancy | Sexuality | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life

Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn't look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.

16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado


Categories: Colorado | Default | Fears | Feelings | Food | Friends | Girls | Malls | Posted 2008-06-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Enough with the Empire-Waists Already, People

Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.

Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas


Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Couples | Default | Girls | Guys | Malls | Pregnancy | Questions | Texas | Posted 2008-06-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Instead of Prison, Convicts Should Be Sentenced to Host Slumber Parties

Group of little girls to window poster: Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana! Hannah Montana!
Exasperated father: Don't kiss that!

Mall
San Diego, California

Humorless Girl Was the Most Depressing Of the X-Men

Victoria's Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria's Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn't make sense. Then they would be free.

Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey


Overheard by: Philly Joe

No Good Ever Comes of Communication

Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That's it? Just "yep"?
Husband: Looks very different. It'll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana


Overheard by: Shatmandu


Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Couples | Guys | Hair | Indiana | Insults | Malls | Questions | Relationships | Sex | Women | Words | Posted 2008-05-23 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Why Kids Shouldn't Watch Cinemax After Dark

Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That's nice.

Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California


Overheard by: this is why I don't shop at the gap


Categories: California | Family ties | Girls | Glad the condom broke | Kids | Malls | Moms | Offspring | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-30 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Zeus Was Quite the Problem Child

Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]
Little boy #2: That's nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!

Macy's in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida


Overheard by: Stephanie

I Knew Those DJ Lessons Were a Poor Idea

White father: There's Burger King, Subway, Taco Bell.
Six-year-old son: [no response].
White father: There's sushi.
Six-year-old son: Aw shizzle!

Food Court, King of Prussia Mall
Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Carrie


Categories: Compare and contrast | Dads | Food | Kids | Malls | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Whiteys | Posted 2008-04-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Had a Dream About It.

Thug on cell: Fuck off, man. Don't even try arguing with me. I'm a fucking expert on this shit. I wikipedia-ed it last night.

Carousel Mall
Syracuse, New York


Categories: Advice | Bragging | Default | Etiquette | Guys | Insults | Internet | Malls | New York | On the phone | Thugs | Posted 2008-04-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...and a Pussy

Blonde clone: It's not that we're both Leos. He's just a dick.

Westfield Mall
San Diego, California


Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Insults | Malls | Penis | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Once I Ran Out of Poop

Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]
Daughter
: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?

Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California


Overheard by: Claustrophobic

These People Are Everywhere

Thugette: I ain't talking to you no more!
Thug: Well, let me ask you a question -- about you.
Thugette: Alright.
Thug: What you heard about me?!

Downtown Mall
Charlottesville, Virginia


Categories: Bringing it back to you | Girls | Gossip | Gripes | Malls | Questions | Thugs | Virginia | Posted 2007-10-22 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

'I Believe You Have My Stapler,' He'll Say

National Science Foundation lady #1: He said my behavior was willful professional misconduct.
National Science Foundation lady #2: And then what?
National Science Foundation lady #1: I told him to suck my fat black dick.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Creative. What'd he say to that?
National Science Foundation lady #1: He was real calm. He said, A) my comment was vulgar, rude, and highly unprofessional, and B) completely illogical.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Well, he's got a point, yeah.
National Science Foundation lady #1: If he says another word to me, I'm gonna bust him with a stapler...

Food court, Ballston Mall
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com


Categories: Coworkers | Malls | Threats | Posted 2007-03-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook