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The Make-a-Wish Foundation Refused to Honor Robert's Request
Guy: I wish I had some big ol' titties so I could whack you in the face with 'em.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ladyoftheice
Categories: Guys | Overheard Lines | Rack | Violence | Posted 2011-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Mustache?
30-something to another: Yeah, it's the same way I can tell you're a hipster. I can tell he's anti-semitic.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: siobhan
Categories: Bragging | Guys | Overheard Lines | Politics | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "Trick Question" on the C.I.A. Exam
Guy: I'm thinking of doing heroin, but just once. Do you think that's cool?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Tim
Categories: Drugs | Fashion | Guys | Overheard Lines | Stupidity | Posted 2010-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Do, Ashley?
Black clerk: You have no idea what it's like to be a black man and be coughed on.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lesly
Categories: Black people | Feelings | Overheard Lines | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Watch Any Of Bush's Speeches?
Four-year-old: Mommy, that girl speaks English!
Mother: Yes, she does.
Four-year-old: But nobody here speaks English. Does she really speak English?
Mother: Of course she speaks English! She's white!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: katie
Categories: Kids | Language barrier | Moms | Overheard Lines | Parenting | Race | Should have used a condom | Posted 2009-08-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Scientists Have Pinata Parties
Teen to another: Man, there's DNA all over the streets!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jessica
Categories: Body parts | Health & Hygiene | Overheard Lines | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Says the Girl Who Bought Full House on DVD?
Guy: Wouldn't it be funny if she was actually selling her baby down in Mexico, and she ended up on 48 Hours Mystery, and we could say we knew her when?
Girl: I don't think you understand comedy.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Winston Churchill Pushes the Allies to Invade Sicily
Guy on cell: I believe in signs, dude. I took a dump and it was totally shaped like a boot. I'm going to Italy.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alicia
Categories: Default | Guys | On the phone | Overheard Lines | Poop | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More of A Guideline, Really
Guy: She's Irish, so I really hope at some point she says: "Shut yer piehole!"
Girl: I could pay her ten bucks to say it, unless that violated the pie hole code.
Guy: First rule of pie hole: There is no pie hole code.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
This Concludes My Essay on "Who I Admire Most"
High school student: She's a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: emily
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Insults | Overheard Lines | Students | Teens | Words | Posted 2008-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Month's Excerpt from Martha Stewart Dying
Reformed health nut: If I were to eat a stick of butter, I'd roll it in salt.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Crazies | Default | Food | Overheard Lines | Posted 2008-03-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even after He Put on a Polo Shirt
Guy: I knew a Japanese bloke once. He changed his name to Smith... Mind you, he still looked Japanese.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: O.B.
Categories: Guys | Names | Overheard Lines | Race | Posted 2008-01-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Hooray"?
Dude: He made out with a hooker?! No one makes out with a hooker! What was he thinking?!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: j
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That or Knitting
Dude: If I wasn't in jail or high, I was working construction.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jessica
Categories: Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nah, They're from Jersey
Girl at brunch: Are your parents from... anywhere?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Questions | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Dust on His Floors
Chick: He loves to vacuum. No, wait, not vacuum. What's that thing you do to your lawn? Mow! He likes to mow.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Words | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
De Politics, De Religion, and De Money
Dude: My grandmother told me never to discuss the three D's in polite company.
Chick: Oh, yeah? What are they?
Dude: I don't remember...
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Education | Idiots | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because That Upcoming Chess Tournament Won't Win Itself
Mom to little kid: How was Tae Kwon Do, honey? Did you learn how to break someone's nose?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jeff
Categories: Moms | Overheard Lines | Questions | Posted 2007-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But That Was Just because I'm a Bad Driver
Official: What experience do you have?
Job-seeker: I worked for 30 years on a poultry farm killing chickens.
Official: Have you done anything else?
Job-seeker: I killed turkeys.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: o.b.
Categories: Animals | Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
First It Was Stalling and Sputtering, and Now... Nothing
Loud girl in outdoor bar: My vagina's not working tonight.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: katie
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Vagina | Posted 2007-07-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, "Make All Deliveries in Rear"
Guy: You're such a slut.
Chick: That's what my tattoo says!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Hoochies | Insults | Overheard Lines | Tattoos | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, That's David Spade
Man at airport: I'm gonna go hug that kid. Maybe then his mom will start keeping an eye on him.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Creepsters | Overheard Lines | Parenting | Posted 2007-05-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Not Enough to Learn What It's Called
Dreamer: I always wanted to be in the little pokey-outy thing on top of a caboose.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Idiots | Overheard Lines | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mentos and Money
Lady: I don't like her. She smells like the bottom of someone's purse.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Biotechs | Insults | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I Just Shot a Blank
Kid #1: This was the thing that made your penis hurt.
Kid #2: That was when I was littler.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: diana
Categories: Kids | Overheard Lines | Penis | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Presenting the Sovereign Cure for Moral Uplift
Chick: Well, as I was writing this massive document I kept thinking about that thing about how you eat an elephant...
Dude: How?
Chick: One bite at a time.
Dude: Ahhh. You know how you bury a giraffe?
Chick: No, how?
Dude: You cut it up with a chainsaw.
Chick: [Silence.]
Dude: I saw pictures from the zoo when they had to cut one up.
Chick: They took pictures?!
Dude: Yeah... I'm not sure why.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Gossip | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, You Sicko... He Was Just Jerking Off
Panicky chick: Did you make eye contact with a man pissing in an alley?!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Chicks | Overheard Lines | Pee | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Left You a Box of Chocolates in a Locker at the Airport
Office grunt: Valentine's Day lunch is for people who are having affairs. I've worked every Valentine's Day. The nights are all couples, but the days are all people who say they're coworkers but then grab each other's legs under the table.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Grumpies | Holidays | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Buddy, We've Got It Taken Care Of
Girl in sleeping bag outside music club to stranger walking by: Yeah, okay, we're waiting for a Hanson concert. Wanna make fun of us now?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: isaac
Categories: Chicks | Music | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Portrayed in the Screen Adaptation by Willem Dafoe
Dude #1: Saint Nicholas. Isn't he the evil one?
Dude #2: No, Saint Nick is Santa Claus.
Dude #1: Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Christianity | Idiots | Overheard Lines | Santa Claus | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But a Wise Man Would Have a Paddle Ready
Dude #1: So, you're saying the moon is going to shrink to the size of a ping pong ball?
Dude #2: Yeah, but I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you how it's going to happen.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gossip | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
