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It's Time for Me to Check Out
Old lady in return line at Wal-Mart: Where are the adult-sized EZ-Bake ovens?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: big momma
Categories: Old folks | Overheard in Philly | Questions | Posted 2008-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'd Think That, Wouldn't You?
Guy yelling at roommate from window: Hey, Jimmy*! The girls are the ones without the penises!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Guys | Overheard in Philly | Penis | Posted 2008-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Consider It -- What Else You Got?
Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: academia
Categories: Kids | Maladies | Moms | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Make-a-Wish Foundation Rejected My Request
Hobo to three women crossing street: I wanna bite y'alls' butts! I wanna bite a butt!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tron
Categories: Ass | Hobos | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2008-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Friends Don't Let Friends Come to Work Sober
Guy: Yo, Jimmy*! You're doing a great job!
Jimmy, backing a U-Haul out of a tiny alley: I'm totally drunk!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Coworkers | Drinking & drunks | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Three 6 Mafia Appears on the Rachael Ray Show
Guy #1, at urinal: That bitch is out of control.
Guy #2, at urinal: Yeah, she's all kinds of fucked up. She needs to chill.
Guy #1: She needs to fuckin' simmer. Simmer and sauté.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: teamcinnamon
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Philly | Words | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Axe Ads Get Straight to the Point
Hurried lady, panting after running onto train: Smell like men in here!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: r2rider
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Have to Do a Stupid Thing Six Hundred Times before It Kills You
Smoking office lady to others: She gets up on her roof, strips down, and just bakes in the sun. She thinks that just because she goes to the dermatologist once a month she's not going to get cancer. [Takes a long drag] What a retard!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: herbie mchebrew
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Philly | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ow! What the Hell?
Conductor: Plenty of seats in the rear, folks!
Old guy, making way through crowd: I'll take one in the rear!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: liz the whiz
Categories: Backdoor | Conductors | Old folks | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks a Lot, Abstinence Only Education
Guy on phone: So, wait -- if he put it in yo' butt that mean the baby gon' come out yo' ass?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: flash
Categories: On the phone | Overheard in Philly | Pregnancy | Questions | Posted 2007-09-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Win-Win!
Bus driver: I can't let you off here. You'll get killed.
Thug: It's cool, man. I got insurance!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bragging | Bus drivers | Overheard in Philly | Thugs | Posted 2007-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It's As Good As a Chastity Belt!
Middle-aged black woman to friend: You gotsta have TP. You gotsta wipe yo' ass.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Friends | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Make You Forget That Elven Slut!
Mid-40s thrift store lady, to VHS of Hidalgo: Mmm, mmm -- Viggo Mortensen. Any time, any place, anywhere, any hole. You know it.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: little bald bastard
Categories: About celebrities | Creepsters | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had to Replicate the Nitrogen Cycle in My Pants
Chick in stall, after biochemistry exam: Thank god that's over. Now I can finally take a shower.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: a [clean] student
Categories: Bathing | Overheard in Philly | Students | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Sound Like Someone Worth Working Hard For
Old hag: Sometimes I forget I'm married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn't forget about him, but he not.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Biotechs | Overheard in Philly | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Decided Her True Love Was Air Traffic Control
Hipster: Yeah, well, at least she stopped huffing paint.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Drugs | Hipsters | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except That Living in Italy Could Be a Good Thing
Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bimbette: No! I live in King of Prussia! If I left King of Prussia to go to any other mall, it'd be like leaving Italy to eat at an Olive Garden. No!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: impressed, she has a point
Categories: Bimbettes | Frat boy types | Gripes | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I Don't Know Why I Bother Any More
Hungover teen girl #1: How was last night? You two have fun?
Hungover teen girl #2: Ohhh, we had a good time. [Suddenly looks confused] Do you think I should have told him about my STDs before we did? We were too drunk to find condoms...
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sy 'philis' amgems
Categories: Overheard in Philly | STDs | Teens | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Why Are You Putting on Your Running Shoes?
Nervous white guy to friend: Are we gonna be the only white people on the train?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: eastchestnut
Categories: Overheard in Philly | Questions | Race | Whiteys | Posted 2007-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Want Them Near Our House?
Little kid: Mommy, why are there so many Asians here?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: renee
Categories: Kids | Overheard in Philly | Questions | Race | Posted 2007-08-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Clams.
Guy with hair down to waist and death metal t-shirt: I really enjoy eating animals that have the ability to eat humans.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: horrified zoo-enthusiast
Categories: Animals | Guys | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except Now I Need a Ride
Student on cell: So, I was going to call you back, but I didn't want to call you.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Insults | On the phone | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Had to Leave to Feed the Holy Spirit
Cafeteria lady: Last night Jesus took me home!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: cherrynwhite
Categories: Jesus | Overheard in Philly | Servers | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Ass-Maintenance 101 Was All Full This Semester
Male student: My GPA doesn't mean shit if I can't wipe my own ass, you know?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Overheard in Philly | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lisa Gets Sold into Slavery on the Barbary Coast
White girl on cell: But we couldn't tell if he's a pirate...
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Overheard in Philly | Whiteys | Posted 2007-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Saving Conversation for the Right Woman
Dude #1: Yeah, I go to gay bars sometimes.
Dude #2: Really? So, are you saying you like guys?
Dude #1: No, I don't like guys, but when I go to gay bars I just dance with them and flirt with them. It's not like I have conversations with them.
Dude #2: ... So then maybe you're bi?
Dude #1: No, I'm just a people person.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mr. Wtf?
Categories: Guys | Overheard in Philly | Sexuality | Posted 2007-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By the Way, Sorry about Scaring Your Daughter Like That
Bathroom-bound tech woman: Are you following me? Not that many people follow me at my age.
Tech guy: No. I'm more of the 'call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house' kind of guy.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: 2catchapredator
Categories: Coworkers | Creepsters | Euphemisms | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-05-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Ultimate "Get Out of Jail Free" Card
Boyfriend: Damn, bitch! Yo' braces just nicked my lip!
Girlfriend: Well, I don't hear you complaining they be nickin' yo' dick when I be suckin' you off!
Boyfriend: Damn, bitch! You is hot!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ouch!
Categories: BJs | Couples | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or You Can Take Advantage of This Special TV Offer!
Lady: Our cat used to jump up and pee on the stove. You can only imagine the smell of cooked urine.
Vet's office
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hortense
Categories: Crazies | Overheard in Philly | Pee | Posted 2007-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, AA!
Old lady: Nah, he stopped drinking. Now he's just high on the ecstasy... and a little bit of crack.
57 bus
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pretend I didn't really hear that
Categories: Drugs | Gossip | Old folks | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even without the Wink She'd Know How You Feel
Adorable professor, winking: See, now, it would be just like I came on Beth* and then winked at her.
Haverford College
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: not beth
Categories: Orgasm | Overheard in Philly | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Research It and Get Back to You
White construction worker: What was the name of Speedy Gonzales' cousin? The slow one...
Mexican construction worker: Why?
White construction worker: Because I want to start calling you that...
Hamilton Street
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: slowpoke rodriguez
Categories: Construction workers | Insults | Names | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Replaced Frank's Regular Fellatrix with a Thumb-Sucker. Let's Watch What Happens
Black woman #1: Did you suck your thumb growin' up?
Black woman #2: No, I don't think so.
Black woman #1: I did. Thumb suckers give the best blowjobs, you know.
Black man: Really?
Black woman #1 : Yeah. Once I was at a party with a friend, and we hooked up with a guy. Well... we went off together and had a test, if... you know what I mean... and he said I was the best -- way better than my friend.
Black man: I'd like to try that test.
Mkt Frankford El subway stop
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b&n guy
Categories: BJs | Black people | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Monkeys and Vanilla Jews Are Fair Game
Bubblehead: Well, it's inhumane. I don't think they should keep them in cages... The, you know, what-do-they-call-em... kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dumbass, they're kinkajous. It's a small, monkey-like animal, not a person.
Bubblehead: Oh. That's different, then.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: crankyprof
Categories: Animals | Bimbettes | Frat boy types | Jews | Overheard in Philly | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
