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And They Were Like, "Now We Can All Poke Without Passing Around Chlamydia!"
Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I'm like, "Why? I talk to you a-holes enough already!"
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: sleeping on the job
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Internet | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2009-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Magical Fat That Slides Down Rainbows and Grants Wishes
Preteen girl #1: Boobies are just fat.
Preteen girl #2: No, they aren't. They are a special kind of fat: boobie fat.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Tweens | Words | Posted 2009-02-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Thanks to Modern Medicine, She Has Breasts Like He-Man
Dude #1: Have you seen her lately?
Dude #2: Yeah, she looks great, except for the bulimia!
Dude #1: Really? She looks good?
Dude #2: Yeah, except her face looks like Skeletor.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: give her a sandwich
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | TV shows | Posted 2009-02-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Offer the Full Spectrum Of Coffeeness, Sir
Barista at coffee shop: Can I help you, sir?
50-something man: Ah, yes. Do you have, ah, something like coffee?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: the man with the mohawk
Categories: Baristas | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2009-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Here's a Coupon for a Complimentary Cavity Search
Irate mother: No, you don't understand. I need to board that plane now!
Stewardess at gate: Ma'm, you cannot board now. There is no airplane at the end of the jetway. Look--no plane out there.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: delayed flights always make me irrational too
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Moms | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Public Transportation | Women | Posted 2009-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Talking Pecker Snot Here, Carlo?
Very drunk male friend to very sober, pregnant, married friend: Can I phlegm on your cleavage?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a connoisseur of terrible pick-up lines
Categories: Clothes | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Friends | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dads Often Regret Not Eating Their Young
Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one's the dad, because he looks angry.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: rsp
Categories: Default | Family ties | Feelings | Guys | Kids | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...by Color
Earnest fellow: And then I watched Scrubs, and then I watched Blade Runner, the movie. And then guess what I did?
Girlfriend: What?
Earnest fellow (proudly): I organized my receipts.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: the girls by the elevator.
But It's My Cross to Bear
Nervous tattooed boy: I mean, your face is really really beautiful, though.
Bored pretty girl, nodding: Yeah, that's true.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: invisiblepilot
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Compliments | Default | Girls | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-02-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Unhinges Her Jaw Like a Python
Guy #1: Seriously, that girl has a mouth the size of a dinosaur.
Guy #2: What kind of dinosaur?
Guy #1: A big-mouthed dinosaur.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: he could have said any noun
They Later Stole the Cake
One of three bros, ordering a cake: And could you make it say, "Sorry we stole your car"?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: cake fixes all problems.
And Fluffy's Even More Fanatical About Keeping Kosher
Woman, purchasing dog treat: Is this beef or pork?
Cashier: It says right here, it's 100% beef.
Woman: Oh good, I don't eat pork.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: slightly concerned.
I Will Now Pause to Accept Your Abuse
Manly college guy to friends: I just like to dance my way through life.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. Lil.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Dancing | Default | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And This....Surprises You?
Woman waiting for coffee: You know my sister is a Playboy model?
Friend: (blank stare)
Woman waiting for coffee: Yeah! She sends me the pictures. I mean, she's beautiful, but I don't wanna see that. And my brother, he looks at those!
Friend: (blank stare)
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: next in line.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Porn | Women | Posted 2009-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only Sweet, Sweet Kisses
60-year-old woman, spotting a friend walking towards her: Oh, fancy seeing you here!
Friend: How nice to see you! But no hugs below the waist this time.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: curious.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Friends | Old folks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Who Wants Ice Cream?
Administrator (mumbling to herself): Maybe I should just fire everyone here. (opens a drawer) Oh, here's my spoon. Okay, maybe everyone can keep their jobs.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: spoon.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Gripes | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2009-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...In Unrelated News
Roomie #1: So, is your greatest strength still spooning?
Roomie #2: I told you, we're re not getting a cat!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: roomie numero tre.
Categories: Animals | Compliments | Default | Friends | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2009-01-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Mission Impossible Sequel Is Weaker Than the Last
Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That's what we do after dark, when we put our ski masks on.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: rappeling from the ceiling for spare change.
Categories: Dads | Default | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Kids | Money | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2009-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Rosa Parks Was Definitely Chinese Though, Right?
7th-grade-boy to another: I didn't know Martin Luther King Jr. was black!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: scared for the future of education.
Categories: Default | Family ties | Guys | Kids | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Posted 2009-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe I'll Leave My Top Button Unbuttoned Today!
Cute, 20-something, professional woman: You know, sometimes I just really wish I knew what it's like to be slutty!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: chino latino
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only When She Licks Them First and Squeals, "Wet Willy!"
18-year-old guy #1: Dude, I hate when she sticks her fingers in my ears.
18-year-old guy #2: Wait, so that doesn't turn you on?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: luke.
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sexuality | Teens | Posted 2009-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, What?
Young dude: Yeah, when I was dating her I found myself doing, like, things I didn't really want to do.
Female friend: Like?
Young dude: Like she had a really high sex drive, which, you know, is such a turn off.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yeah, I hate having sex with people I'm dating.
Categories: Default | Friends | Girls | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Relationships | Sex | Posted 2009-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Girls Want Relationships, Others Just Want to Have Relations
Blond girl to friend: I would go out with him but I heard he was going to be deported soon.
Friend: Really? That sounds cool! Is he hot?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I'd go out with him too.
Categories: Default | Friends | Girls | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2009-01-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Be Fair, No One's First Job Interview Goes Well
Man in bathroom on cell: Hang on a sec, I am going someplace quieter. (a few seconds later) Damn, hang on. I just peed on my hand.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: did they know you were in the bathroom? Ewww.
Categories: Default | Guys | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pee | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Bringing Bathroom Sexy Back
20-something girl: I don't care how much bathrooom sex he's had; he's still really, really sexy. I mean, just look at him. Sooo sexy.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: bringin sexy back
Categories: Beauty | Compliments | Default | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight on Birthdayzillas
Eight-year-old boy: So, is the birthday party going to be fun?
Six-year-old girl: Yeah!
Eight-year-old boy: Who knows? It could be a disaster!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: working hard to make it a fun party.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Happiness | Kids | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2008-12-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Prefer to Call It "Putting Out the Fruit Plate"
Girl #1: Soooooo, how did staying at his place go?
Girl #2: Well? (smiles)
Girl #1: You opened the muffin shop, didn't you?
Girl #2: Yeah, well, only for a night.
Girl #1: Seriously? I thought we said that was a bad idea.
Girl #2: And a morning. Sorry.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sex | Words | Posted 2008-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like "It's My Potty (And I'll Be Dry If I Want To)"
Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
Two-year-old girl: I don't go potty anymore; I listen to music.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: wayzata
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Kids | Kids | Music | Overheard in Minneapolis | Poop | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Same Way That Fear and Loathing... Is Utopian
Elderly professor: Who's to say Brave New World is a dystopia? I mean, they just did drugs and had sex all day. That sounds like a utopia, if you ask me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: unsettled.
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Drugs | Education | Feelings | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sex | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Hopefully I'd Remain This Saucy
Kid to mom: Mom, if you were Indian, I mean if we were from India and you were Indian, I bet you could teach me to cook some really yummy food.
Mom: Even if I were Indian, I would have to be someone completely different in order to be a good cook.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: jr.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Geography | Kids | Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Miss the Old Grey Poupon Ad Campaign
Girl: You so should have tested it first.
Guy: I did! I used it on my ass the other day.
Girl: And it didn't burn?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: evan.
Michael Encounters Darth Tater
Girl to friends, walking through produce section: I have never felt so threatened by produce in all my life.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: laurel.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No Wonder King Cole Isn't a Merry Old Soul Anymore
Preppy college girl to friend: She was the girl who would go down on him while lighting his bowl. She was the perfect girl for him. It's too bad she went crazy, they would have been so happy together!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: burrhead.
Categories: BJs | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Preppies | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Need a Designated Thinker
Girl on cell: It's not that I don't want to get wasted. I want to get wasted. I just don't want to get fucked up, you know? So I'm not really sure what to do.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I have that dilemma often
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'll Totally Buy the Kid Tap Shoes
Slightly effeminate black man on cell: Uh-uh, child. If you're pregnant, that ain't my child. You got to talk to my brother.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Offspring | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pregnancy | Queers | Posted 2008-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Physics Project Is Gonna Get Us an "A" for Sure!
College guy #1: My penis is getting stronger!
College guy #2: What does that even mean? How do you know?
College guy #1: Cuz I can pee past the bushes now, and for a while I couldn't.
College guy #2: Niiiice!
(they high five)
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a lil.
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Frat boy types | Happiness | Overheard in Minneapolis | Penis | Pride | Posted 2008-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Larry's Unusually Susceptible to Food Porn
Guy #1: Dude, I gotta tell you about this lemon coffee cake.
Guy #2: I said no!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: oh geeze.
Categories: Default | Food | Guys | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Wishes | Posted 2008-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember What Happened to Your Sister the S'more?
Six-year-old boy: Mom! I want a cookie.
Mom: If you don't start behaving you're going to turn into a deep-fried boy on a stick at the state fair.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Way to Ruin the Moment
Middle-aged woman: My wedding ring from my first marriage has new meaning now.
Friend: What's that?
Middle-aged woman: When I lost all that weight and it didn't fit anymore, I took it as a sign to divorce the bastard and marry Jesus Christ.
Friend: Why don't you just wear it on your toe instead?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: good lord.
Categories: Advice | Body parts | Default | Feelings | Friends | Jesus | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Women | Posted 2008-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Like, "Look at All These Dishes-- What's Your Problem?"
Drunk 40-year-old dude #1, standing in line for the bathroom: Well, there are four sinks. We only need two with the number of people I've seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40-year-old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was peeing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: slight overshare
Categories: Default | Feelings | Guys | Memory lane | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pee | Relationships | Restroom | Posted 2008-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Have to Protect the Fantasy of Your Desirability
Short-haired college girl to guy friend: So, is it okay if I fart in front of you?
Guy friend (pause): Well, you're gay, right? Then I guess it's okay.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. Lil.
Categories: Burping & farting | Default | Etiquette | Frat boy types | Friends | Girls | Guys | Lesbos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Accomplishments Didn't Get You Into This School
Computer professor explaining design process: You can't use shortcuts until you have lots of experience, like your mom.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I bet!
Categories: Advice | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teachers | Posted 2008-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everyone Laughed at Wendy Until Her Fast-Food Franchise Took Off
Pigtailed four-year-old girl to couple behind at checkout: Do you know me? Do you?
Tired mother: Hush, honey. They don't know you.
Pigtailed four-year-old girl: Well, they should! Know me! Don't forget me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that girl is going to be famous
Categories: Default | Girls | Kids | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-11-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Life's a Privilege, Not a Right
Mom: Then I'd have to kill you.
Daughter: Why?
Mom: Because that's my job as a mother.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: glad I'm not her daughter
Tuesday's Dingleberry-Pulling Day
Very large gross woman: So, I'm gonna need a serious douching when I get home.
Friend: It's Tuesday.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: threw up in his mouth
Categories: Default | Douching | Friends | Overheard in Minneapolis | Time Management | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ballplayers' Demands Get Stranger Every Year
Young man to two female friends: If we go on that ride and his underwear aren't wet at the end, I am making him trade me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: it's a deal!
But for a Simple $5 a Day, You Can Help Save Just One
Professor: America has a terrible problem with nipples.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: tru dat?
I Must Now Go and Tell the World My Tale of Woe
Pained 20-something woman: Ouch! I hit myself in my already sore crotch with my overly heavy purse.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: Dan
Categories: Body parts | Default | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sensory experiences | Women | Posted 2008-11-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Long to Feel the Pleasant Tingle of Arthritis
(at 4:30 pm)
College girl #1: Well, we could go get dinner now, but it's really early for that.
College guy: Well, it's not too early if you are old.
College girl #2: Yeah, they always start rolling into the restaurant about this time.
College girl #1: Really? I can't wait to be old!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I'm not in that big of a rush
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Food | Frat boy types | Girls | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sorority types | Students | Time Management | Wishes | Posted 2008-11-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...In the Complete Absence of Underwear
Young college girl to group of boys and girls: We're already sluts cause we pants each other.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: that's not the only reason
Categories: Default | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Sorority types | Students | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Fun As Quiet Contemplation Of Our Lord's Bounty, But Close
Middle-aged African American bus driver: So what if she is? I wear heels and I'm 5′8". I wear them to church.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger: Oh, but at least at church you're sitting down.
Middle-aged African American bus driver: Oh no, honey. I'm up singing and dancing. I go to a black church. We get our praise on.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger (after uncomfortable pause): That sounds fun.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yes it does
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Conductors | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Religion | Shoes | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might Be Time to Block Cinemax, Mom
Little girl to popsicle: And then I'm going to lick you and suck on you until you melt all over me.
Concerned mother: Kelly! I told you not to talk to popsicles!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
But I Thought I Was Your Main Squeeze?
20-something daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I'm doing Kegels.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: tara
Categories: Default | Girls | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Time Management | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes the Judgment of Solomon Backfires
Blonde female teen to friend: Here. I'll trade you her right boob for the left side of her crotch.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I'm really glad I'm not her.
Categories: Body parts | Default | Friends | Girls | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sometimes My Sphincter Needs a Cheerleader
Construction worker #1: The only time I know you're not talking is when you're smoking or pooping.
Construction worker #2: How do you know I'm not talking when I'm pooping?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: heard you in the porta-potty
Categories: Compare and contrast | Construction workers | Coworkers | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Poop | Questions | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's More of a Sashay, Really
Older woman to middle aged man walking a dog: Is that how all dogs walk?
Middle aged man: That's how *this* dog walks.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: have you never seen a dog walk before?
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | Old folks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So This Case of Beer Was by Prescription, Your Honor
25-year-old man: If I don't have enough to drink, I get tired and go to sleep. It's a character flaw.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: kung pao rick.
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Mental illnesses | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Janine Began to Regret Taking the Housekeeping Job at the Nunnery
Hot girl on cell: Um, why were your boxers in the bathroom trash can this morning? Okay, well, from now on throw them away in the dumpster and maybe, I don't know, wipe before you decide to do lunges?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: you could do better
Categories: Advice | Clothes | Default | Girls | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: Grumpy Old Gonorrhea
Wannabe cowboy on cell: Dude, I gotta tell you about my STD from the silent film era! (long pause) Okay, ready? Okay: I made out with a chick who was 52 years old!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: hope she had a charlie chaplin mustache
Categories: Age and ageing | Guys | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | STDs | Sexuality | Posted 2008-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Get Saucy with Me, Mr. Clinton
Nurse: How are the bowel movements?
Patient: Define "bowel movements."
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Not a Dr
Categories: Body parts | Default | Health & Hygiene | Nurses | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Patients | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Ovulating or Desperate?"--The New Party Game That's Sweeping the Nation!
Young professional girl: He's cute. But then again, lately I think every guy is cute.
Friend: Are you ovulating?
Young professional girl: No. I think I'm just desperate.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Sigh. Me too.
Categories: Beauty | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Friends | Gender issues | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Posted 2008-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated
Fat guy: (moans)
Woman: You alright?
Fat guy: I just feel...
Woman: Yeah?
Fat guy: I feel fat this morning.
Woman: Well, you shoulda eaten something. You should eat more!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: orly.
Categories: Advice | Default | Diet & weight | Fat people | Feelings | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Celebrity Porcupine Death Match Could Rock MTV
Middle-aged dude #1: You should petition the State High School League to make killing with porcupines a sport.
Middle-aged dude #2: Yeah, with the quills and everything.
Middle-aged dude #1: Exactly! That's what I'm saying.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: I grabbed my blackberry as soon as I heard it.
Just Obeying That Big "P" Sign Over There
Guy #1: You smell like urine.
Guy #2: Good!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: time for a shower?
Categories: Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pee | Queers | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Do You Not Have the Balls?
Teenage boy surrounded by girls: So, do you guys play the penis game?
(awkward silence)
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: no, I don't
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2008-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Variety Is the Spice Of Life
Redhead gay in short shorts: Did you ever imagine yourself falling in love with a ginger vegetarian?
Smoking gay in short shorts (taking drag from cigarette): Not in a million years.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Default | Food | Overheard in Minneapolis | Queers | Questions | Relationships | Smokers | Posted 2008-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, Dad, Joe Camel Is Not on the Ticket
Woman on phone: No dad, the Democratic congress is probably not affecting the cancer rate. No, a Democratic president will probably not make cancer rates worse.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: me!
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Fears | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Politics | Women | Posted 2008-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Way You Need It
Man, rolling down window after being cut off in traffic: Motherfucker, you're lucky I'm listening to Journey!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: anyway you want it.
Categories: Default | Guys | Insults | Music | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Don't Get Me Started About The Daily Show
Pissy gay man: I don't like The Onion. They just make up all their stories. It's not the real news.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: that's sort of the point
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Queers | Stupidity | Posted 2008-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Did You Use All Of the Holes?
Drunk man to girlfriend: So, it's like Swiss cheese, okay? All the women I've ever slept with are like Swiss cheese.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: wow, where do you pick up girls?
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drunks | Food | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Posted 2008-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Recommend Turning Your Monitor and Playing a Lot of FreeCell
Female suit to another: So...how do we do things that make it look like we're doing things?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: corporate America, we have a problem
Categories: Default | Office politics | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Suits | Women | Posted 2008-09-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Suddenly Have a Newfound Respect for Minnesota
Professor: As you can see, I don't take breaks. So if you have to go smoke a marijuana cigarette or go have sex in the bathroom, just go ahead.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: see ya
...And Later Hired As My Nanny
Receptionist to executive assistant: ...so in conclusion, I got peed on...by a taxi driver...who I dated.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Coworkers | Default | Employees | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pee | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Be More Attractive
Woman: So, we didn't check the restaurants to see if they had a dress code, so we couldn't eat anywhere because you had to wear pants.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: sxoidmal
We Need to Cast the Next Season of America's Next Top Model
Lady in late twenties to male companion: Where is my list of ugly people?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: someone who would like to read that list
Categories: Beauty | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maybe Pick Up Some Rat Poisoning for the Kids...
Loud white ghetto guy on cell: Dude, I'm at Target. They don't got nothing here! Man, I should have gone to Wal-Mart. (pause) Oh, here's a sweet knife. Maybe I'll buy that for shits and giggles.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: gee, you have to wonder what this guy does with his free time...
Categories: Default | Gripes | Guys | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Shopping | Stores | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"Don't You Feel It in Your Pants?" Would Become a New Hit Single for Usher
Loud teen girl on cell: Jaime, I've been calling you! Didn't you feel it in your pants?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yikes
Categories: Cell phones | Clothes | Default | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2008-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nerd Kink Is Often Difficult to Get One's Mind Around
Girl on phone: Hey girl! I just got done lubricating my Rubik's cube!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: momo
Categories: Default | Games | Girls | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Men Go Through Their Midlife Crisis Prematurely
Little boy playing with Legos: Look, I have a gun and two hookers!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: nanny in st. Paul
Categories: Bragging | Default | Kids | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-07-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Almost a Great Title for a Country Song
20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: 5 rows up
Categories: Creepsters | Default | Guys | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Have You Booked the Labor Day Cage-Dancers Yet?
Teenage girl (matter-of-factly): My sister's friend came over yesterday because it was Memorial Day. You know, because she's a stripper.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yeah, that makes total sense...
Categories: Default | Family ties | Girls | Holidays | Idiots | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Teens | Posted 2008-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Lick the Glass This Time, Okay?
Guy outside of dressing room: Dude, what are you doing?
Guy in dressing room: I'm having some me time.
Guy outside of dressing room: I'm bored. (thinks about it for several seconds) I'll be looking at belts.
Guy in dressing room: I'll be looking at me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: business casual
Categories: Creepsters | Default | Friends | Guys | Masturbation | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Posted 2008-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially If It's Not the Hair on Your Head
Teenage boy #1: I just get so nervous when she touches me, man. I think I'm ready to tell her how I feel.
Teenage boy #2: No, no, no, dude! Wait till she plays with your hair. When she plays with your hair, that's love.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a sure sign
Charleton Heston Was Quickly Reincarnated
Three-year-old boy (enthusiastically): When I get home, I'm going to shoot someone!
Sunday school teacher: I don't think you should do that.
Three-year-old boy: With a squirt gun!
Sunday school teacher: Oh, good.
Three-year-old boy: And a machine gun!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: wayzata
Categories: Crimes | Death & dying | Default | Education | Kids | Kids | Murder | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teachers | Posted 2008-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially When You Use Phrases Like "Nicely Framing Your Package"
Teen boy: You know, I really appreciate you complimenting my baseball skills, but I really don't appreciate you complimenting my boxer choices.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just trying to get to class...
Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren't you afraid your baby's going to fall out or something?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: what not to expect when you're expecting
What About "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"?
College girl, while listening to Hang Me Out To Dry: Dude, I just pictured my tampon singing this song!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. Lil
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Overheard in Minneapolis | Singing | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Cashmere Condoms Are So Popular
Bearded dude: Yeah... I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation...
Categories: Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Default | Feelings | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Penis | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Competing on Any Reality Show, in a Nutshell
Guy: It's like playing hopscotch with your shirt off and the little kids are like: "Mommy, look at his boobies!" and I'm like: "Yeah. Look at my boobies."
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: well that's neat
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Fat people | Gender issues | Guys | Kids | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Black Friend Wearing Fubu Might Even Get Me Free Drinks
White girl: I wish I had an Obama t-shirt to wear tonight. (pause) Although I'm sure if I brought a black friend it'd be just the same.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: lb
Would It Help If I Glued This Viola to My Hand?
Non-Asian student to Asian student: Dude, I keep forgetting you're Asian.
Asian student: I know! Me too!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: m. Jo.
To What Extent Would It Involve Nut Gathering?
University administrator: I've been thinking that I should start my own cult. It doesn't have to be anything sexual. It could involve squirrels.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: count me in!
His G-String with the Elephant Head on It Was a Bit of a Shock, Though
Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn't even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: also not surprised
So If You See Me Twitch, Clutch, or Froth, Lend a Hand, Okay?
Flight attendant to another: I don't mean to alarm you, but last night I went into cardiac arrest.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Flight attendants | Health & Hygiene | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might As Well Have Said, "He Has a 5-Inch Penis and a Job at Foot Locker"
Girl #1: I think he's a nice guy.
Girl #2: Nice is the ultimate mediocrity.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: girl in scrubs
Categories: Comebacks | Compliments | Default | Girls | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2008-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wish I Had Somebody Who Cared Enough to Abuse Me
Bimbette #1: ... So, after he called in to quit for me, I'm sure everyone was like, 'He must be one of those, like, abusive boyfriends who won't let her work!'
Bimbette #2: That'd be okay, though.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: an invisible fiend
Categories: Bimbettes | Default | Gossip | Gripes | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know Which Kind of "Special" Your Kid Is
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik's Cube. He'd probably eat it.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik's cubes
I'll Estimate the Rise in the Dog and Cat Population to Be Seven Million and One, Bob
Guy, about Bob Barker: The show just won't be the same without him. And the pet population is going to explode!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: the truth hurts
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Twin Cities Get Ready for Winter
Hipster guy to chick: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn... No, I don't mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it's cold out.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: hungry muppet
Categories: Food | Gossip | Hipsters | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Sidestep Your Clumsy Attack
Five-year-old boy: If Mommy has another baby, I'm not gonna be by it. It will just crawl around the house and suck milk from Mommy's nibbles. And she won't wear a bra!
Eight-year-old boy: If you like bras so much, maybe we should get you one.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah! I would use it for my butt cheeks, so when I sit down it would be nice and soft!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: chaska
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
People in Minnesota Will Do Anything to Get Warm
20-ish girl on cell: Hey, yeah! Come to the beach, and we'll set you on fire!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: don't think the cops will approve
Categories: Advice | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Violence | Posted 2008-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like When People Call Me "Slow" but They Mean "Sexy"
Dude #1: You gotta go nucular on them!
Dude #2: It's 'nuclear,' not 'nucular.'
Dude #1: No, you can say either. It's like the difference between saying 'pancakes' and 'flapjacks.' It means the same thing.
Dude #2: Ummm... No.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I say
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until Woodsy Owl Wreaked a Terrible Vengeance
Six-year-old: My dad took me to this music festival. It was just a bunch of guys in the woods banging drums and making litter.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: litter machine
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sad Truth Is, Many Women Do.
College guy: No wonder Matt can't get a date -- his best line is, 'Do you want a badly damaged brat?'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gently Down the Stream?
Guy cuddling his girlfriend: I'm lactating, lactating, lactating!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: quoi?
Categories: Bragging | Getting off | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Nice Doctor Helping You at All?
Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don't eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I've always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left... this.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sistersaywhat
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Instead of Just Giving Head, Like Her Classmates
Woman: She's 12 and she's already having candlelight dinners!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: girl in scrubs
Categories: Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Pinpointing Its Source Is Almost As Good As Being Alive
Man, offered a cigarette: No, I never smoke.
Woman, offering cigarette: Come on, you won't get cancer from one cigarette. Well, if you do, you'll know where it came from.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: standing outside
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Smokers | Smoking | Posted 2007-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Public School Builds Character!
Little boy to parents: Nuh-uhhh! I only got thrown up on that one time!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Starting to Enjoy Having Poop Flung at Her
Italian man on cell: Well, maybe she'll find some nice Scandinavian boy as opposed to those monkeys she's been dating.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wondering where she meets available monkeys
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Attention: Your Street Cred Has Been Revoked
Dude: Yeah, you know how it be. I'll check ya later. Yo, this is Tylenol, I'm out!
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gee and drew
Categories: Black people | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Smell of Urine and Open Sores
Teen cheerleader: I think hobos are hot.
Friend: Why?
Teen cheerleader: I don't know. There's just something sexy about trains, I guess.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's More Like Gangsta Lite
Eight-year-old girl #1 tying scarf around head: We're going to look like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Like what?
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: What's a gangsta?
Eight-year-old girl #1: It's a gangster.
Eight-year-old girl #2: Oh.
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like the Jets.
Eight-year-old girl #2, suddenly understanding: Ohhh, okay!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I think they paid a little too much attention to west side story
Categories: Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2007-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay. Now Pretend You Think We Think That.
Blonde to parents: Pretend I'm smarter than you think I am.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: she really is
Categories: Advice | Bimbettes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mrs. Nietzsche Was Tough on Little Friedrich
Biking mom to obviously struggling son: Why are you so weak?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: also struggling
Categories: Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Castration Can't Have Helped Any of That
Woman #1: I think my new cat is different.
Woman #2: What do you mean by different?
Woman #1: I'm pretty sure he's metro-sexual, because he meows like a girl.
Woman #2: It could be worse.
Woman #1: Well, I don't know -- I'm fairly sure he has abandonment issues, too.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Animals | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Gonna Go Grab a Bucket of Chicken and Some Porn
Skinny brunette: How many calories do you burn masturbating? Gross, I know...
Skinny redhead: I read in Cosmo that it's somewhere between one-fifty and two hundred.
Skinny brunette, gasping: See?! People ought to promote masturbation more! This is why America is getting so fat! No one is touching themselves!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: then why am I so fat?
Categories: Masturbation | Overheard in Minneapolis | Skinny people | Posted 2007-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Joining the Marines
Sighing emo kid to another: My soul is tired.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: katra
Categories: Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2007-11-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stalking Tip: A Smart Pocket Dress Can Hide Your Huge Man Hands
Chick #1: So, I have to quit my job because a transvestite is stalking me.
Chick #2: Are they hitting on you?
Chick #1: Nope, just stalking.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: a classmate
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Last Temptation of Christie
Chick on cell: Christie! Christie! You better not smoke all of your cigarettes today! [Snaps phone shut.]
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Already Tired of It
Hyper girl pulling out lots of different colored bracelets: I need to change my mood!
Friend: What's your mood, Dana?
Hyper girl: I don't know! I'm changing it!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Fashion | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Girlfriend: I Wish My Boyfriend Wasn't Such a Racist
Asian teen boy: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wellll... Your kids probably won't either
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2007-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind Bugs Have on Their Heads?
Woman to friend: 'Cause, you know, I feel things. I'm, like, a feeler.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: feelin it!
Categories: Idiots | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Doug
Man on cell: So, are we seeing a chick flick tonight? ... Am I gonna get any play afterwards? ... Sweet, I'll see you later.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Getting off | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Didn't.
20-ish girl on cell: So, they said it's not ringworm -- it's some kind of skin virus that looks like ringworm. And they said I'm really lucky because so far it's only on my back and stomach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Friday, but they said it's probably really contagious. I just hope it goes away before my trip to Miami!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sooooo glad I didn't sit next to her
Categories: Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Moral: Spoon Bridges Break and Everyone Dies Painfully
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It's a bridge. It's a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, 'Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Crazies | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Fuck Him
Girl #1: So, I told my dad to carry my futon up the stairs. There was no way I was going to!
Girl #2: Didn't he just have major back surgery?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn't want to strain myself. I'm, like, tiny. Plus, I had to make my room look good.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I just lost my appetite
Categories: Chicks | Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Got Her So Dirty!
Ebullient coworker on phone: The last thing I saw of Jane* was a nude picture of her taking a bath. It's her dad's fault.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sxoidmal
Categories: Coworkers | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Using the Men's Room Cam
Male bartender: So, let's all take off our shirts and then you can take pictures of us.
Waitress: Oh, we already did that!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: the next table over
Categories: Bartenders | Bragging | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Depending Upon How Often You Mace Him
Chick #1: Have you ever had a class with him?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Does he really cry in class?
Chick #2: Sometimes.
Chick #1: ... Cool.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wishing he was my prof
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Eventually My Other Personalities Came Out to Play
20-ish woman: I never realized how boring I was until I spent a night in jail and only had myself... And I'm really boring.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: try singing hymns
Categories: Gripes | Insults | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Have to Recite an Affirmation Just to Get a Latte
Barista: I totally hate what rehab's done to coffee houses.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Baristas | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Try to Change Me, Baby
Lady to another: I can't believe it! He's actually getting married! I mean, now he'll have to do normal things like eat and bathe.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Bathing | Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah -- Titles Are Hard
20-ish girl: So, I was thinking of 'Liberty and Justice for Balls.'
20-ish guy: Liberty and justice for balls?
20-ish girl: Yeah, I was trying to think of a paper title.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: um, what?
Categories: Education | Idiots | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Former.
Man to friend: I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wanted a present for Valentine's Day and I didn't get her one, or the fact that I didn't want a present for my birthday and she got me one.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: you really don't know?
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might As Well Go Back to Sleep at That Point
Lady suit #1: I mean, can you imagine waking up one day to find out that you're six months pregnant?
Lady suit #2: Seven months.
Lady suit #1: Seven months?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: jfa
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Suits | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Monkeyholism's Gonna Be the Next Big Zoo Scandal
Little girl, regarding orangutan holding his head like he has a headache: Why is he doing that, Mommy?
Mom: Because he had too many Daddy juices.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I love hilarious reminders of our dysfunctional society
Categories: Kids | Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2007-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Modems Ruled the Earth
Man: He's been dating women he's met online since back when it was creepy.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sherman
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Would?
Chick on cell: ... So that's why Grandma and Grandpa are so upset? Was adoption brought up? [Long pause, then] Do I want orange sheets?
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Chicks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2007-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Flightless, They Say -- Why Go On?
Bimbette #1: What's up with Katie?
Bimbette #2: She's an emu. Emus cut themselves.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2007-07-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only on the Surface
Boy, while AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" plays: Is this song about bacon?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Going Back to the Isle of Women
Lesbian: People eat testicles here, too?!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: orly
Categories: Balls | Food | Lesbos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Used Her Back As a TV Table
Drunk guy: Yes, and this is while he was having sex and eating at the same time!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: moogs
Categories: Drunks | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ummm... Yeah
Man: She's my soul mate. I just wish she was 20 years older and not my daughter.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: that's kinda creepy
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Got the Extemporaneous Rhyming, but Can He Rope-a-Dope?
Voluble man: Hey, blondie! Hey! Guess what? I'm the prettiest man on this here bus! I'm like Muhammad Ali! Get your degree, smoke your crack free, national American methiversity! Hey, blondie! Guess what? I gots the prettiest dick on this whole bus! You should come over and check it on up!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: blondie
Categories: Bragging | Creepsters | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then You'll Be Left with Just the Grenades
Mom: If you don't stop hitting your sister and start behaving nicely, we're gonna go right back there and return those guns!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: attention target shopper
Categories: Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once You've Got That Down, We'll Move on to Exfoliants
Teen boy #1: Ouch.
Teen boy #2: Oweee! Did you break a nail?
Teen boy #1: Yes!
Teen boy #2: You should get manicures like I do so that won't happen so often.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I get them too
Categories: Advice | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lucky Guess, Mister
Teacher: Jordan*! Can you tell us the answer to the problem on the board?
Student talking in back of class: Um... No, sir.
Teacher: You are interrupting the class! What were you talking about?
Student: Petroleum lightsabers.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Education | Overheard in Minneapolis | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Who's Due in June
Woman: I gotta smoke as much as I can before May 30th, 'cause after that it's bad for the baby.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Preggers | Pregnancy | Smoking | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pass Me the Sports Page, Would Ya?
Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it -- you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam -- you're shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Hobos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whorehouses Don't Do Community Service
Chick on cell: Megan! It's a sorority! Megan! It's not a whorehouse! Megan!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: a passerby who has never been to that... sorority
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just a Test of the Emergency Menopause Warning System
Cute chick: I don't know what's going on, but my butt cheeks are sweating really bad.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: the bomb track
Categories: Ass | Chicks | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But God Has Other Plans for Your Death
Woman: It's like paradise!
Small child, excitedly: A paradise where you get killed!
Woman, happily: I'll kill you!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: ethan I make whittier prettier park
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Should have used a condom | Threats | Posted 2007-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Period.
Chick: The bitch got an iPod and all kinds of cash from her family. She's totally fuckin' spoiled and it makes me sick. I finally told her, 'Bitch, get your own fuckin' tampons!'
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: craig
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Thing I Knew, I Was Working for the DEA
Chick: All I want is a lifetime supply of weed and to be put in charge of the retards.
Blue Bricks Bar
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: but I'm in charge of the retards
Categories: Chicks | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Are the Hollow Women, We Are the Stuffed Women
Bimbette #1: Can you get pregnant from giving head?
Bimbette #2: No, dumbass! Your saliva kills it before it gets to your uterus.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I wish I were joe mauer so I could get girls like this
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, Economics Really Is a Dismal Science
Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They're hungry and they aren't happy about it, so people have to die.
Route 16 bus
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat
Categories: Crazies | Evil | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
