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Especially When You Use Phrases Like "Nicely Framing Your Package"
Teen boy: You know, I really appreciate you complimenting my baseball skills, but I really don't appreciate you complimenting my boxer choices.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just trying to get to class...
Categories: Clothes | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Think the Midget with the Butterfly Net Is For?
Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren't you afraid your baby's going to fall out or something?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: what not to expect when you're expecting
What About "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"?
College girl, while listening to Hang Me Out To Dry: Dude, I just pictured my tampon singing this song!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: a. Lil
Categories: Default | Gender issues | Overheard in Minneapolis | Singing | Sorority types | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Cashmere Condoms Are So Popular
Bearded dude: Yeah... I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation...
Categories: Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Default | Feelings | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Penis | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Competing on Any Reality Show, in a Nutshell
Guy: It's like playing hopscotch with your shirt off and the little kids are like: "Mommy, look at his boobies!" and I'm like: "Yeah. Look at my boobies."
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: well that's neat
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Fat people | Gender issues | Guys | Kids | Nipples | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Black Friend Wearing Fubu Might Even Get Me Free Drinks
White girl: I wish I had an Obama t-shirt to wear tonight. (pause) Although I'm sure if I brought a black friend it'd be just the same.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: lb
Would It Help If I Glued This Viola to My Hand?
Non-Asian student to Asian student: Dude, I keep forgetting you're Asian.
Asian student: I know! Me too!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: m. Jo.
To What Extent Would It Involve Nut Gathering?
University administrator: I've been thinking that I should start my own cult. It doesn't have to be anything sexual. It could involve squirrels.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: count me in!
His G-String with the Elephant Head on It Was a Bit of a Shock, Though
Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn't even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: also not surprised
So If You See Me Twitch, Clutch, or Froth, Lend a Hand, Okay?
Flight attendant to another: I don't mean to alarm you, but last night I went into cardiac arrest.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Flight attendants | Health & Hygiene | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might As Well Have Said, "He Has a 5-Inch Penis and a Job at Foot Locker"
Girl #1: I think he's a nice guy.
Girl #2: Nice is the ultimate mediocrity.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: girl in scrubs
Categories: Comebacks | Compliments | Default | Girls | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2008-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wish I Had Somebody Who Cared Enough to Abuse Me
Bimbette #1: ... So, after he called in to quit for me, I'm sure everyone was like, 'He must be one of those, like, abusive boyfriends who won't let her work!'
Bimbette #2: That'd be okay, though.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: an invisible fiend
Categories: Bimbettes | Default | Gossip | Gripes | Minnesota | Overheard in Minneapolis | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2008-03-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How You Know Which Kind of "Special" Your Kid Is
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik's Cube. He'd probably eat it.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik's cubes
I'll Estimate the Rise in the Dog and Cat Population to Be Seven Million and One, Bob
Guy, about Bob Barker: The show just won't be the same without him. And the pet population is going to explode!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: the truth hurts
Categories: Gripes | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Twin Cities Get Ready for Winter
Hipster guy to chick: You know, if you drink a lot of Tabasco, your shit will really burn... No, I don't mean it will hurt. I mean you can light it on fire and it will keep you warm when it's cold out.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: hungry muppet
Categories: Food | Gossip | Hipsters | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Sidestep Your Clumsy Attack
Five-year-old boy: If Mommy has another baby, I'm not gonna be by it. It will just crawl around the house and suck milk from Mommy's nibbles. And she won't wear a bra!
Eight-year-old boy: If you like bras so much, maybe we should get you one.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah! I would use it for my butt cheeks, so when I sit down it would be nice and soft!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: chaska
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
People in Minnesota Will Do Anything to Get Warm
20-ish girl on cell: Hey, yeah! Come to the beach, and we'll set you on fire!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: don't think the cops will approve
Categories: Advice | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Violence | Posted 2008-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like When People Call Me "Slow" but They Mean "Sexy"
Dude #1: You gotta go nucular on them!
Dude #2: It's 'nuclear,' not 'nucular.'
Dude #1: No, you can say either. It's like the difference between saying 'pancakes' and 'flapjacks.' It means the same thing.
Dude #2: Ummm... No.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I say
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until Woodsy Owl Wreaked a Terrible Vengeance
Six-year-old: My dad took me to this music festival. It was just a bunch of guys in the woods banging drums and making litter.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: litter machine
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sad Truth Is, Many Women Do.
College guy: No wonder Matt can't get a date -- his best line is, 'Do you want a badly damaged brat?'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gently Down the Stream?
Guy cuddling his girlfriend: I'm lactating, lactating, lactating!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: quoi?
Categories: Bragging | Getting off | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Nice Doctor Helping You at All?
Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don't eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I've always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left... this.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sistersaywhat
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Instead of Just Giving Head, Like Her Classmates
Woman: She's 12 and she's already having candlelight dinners!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: girl in scrubs
Categories: Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Pinpointing Its Source Is Almost As Good As Being Alive
Man, offered a cigarette: No, I never smoke.
Woman, offering cigarette: Come on, you won't get cancer from one cigarette. Well, if you do, you'll know where it came from.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: standing outside
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Smokers | Smoking | Posted 2007-12-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Public School Builds Character!
Little boy to parents: Nuh-uhhh! I only got thrown up on that one time!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: alexis
Categories: Gossip | Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Starting to Enjoy Having Poop Flung at Her
Italian man on cell: Well, maybe she'll find some nice Scandinavian boy as opposed to those monkeys she's been dating.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wondering where she meets available monkeys
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Attention: Your Street Cred Has Been Revoked
Dude: Yeah, you know how it be. I'll check ya later. Yo, this is Tylenol, I'm out!
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gee and drew
Categories: Black people | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Smell of Urine and Open Sores
Teen cheerleader: I think hobos are hot.
Friend: Why?
Teen cheerleader: I don't know. There's just something sexy about trains, I guess.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Stupidity | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's More Like Gangsta Lite
Eight-year-old girl #1 tying scarf around head: We're going to look like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Like what?
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: What's a gangsta?
Eight-year-old girl #1: It's a gangster.
Eight-year-old girl #2: Oh.
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like the Jets.
Eight-year-old girl #2, suddenly understanding: Ohhh, okay!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I think they paid a little too much attention to west side story
Categories: Kids | Overheard in Minneapolis | Words | Posted 2007-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay. Now Pretend You Think We Think That.
Blonde to parents: Pretend I'm smarter than you think I am.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: she really is
Categories: Advice | Bimbettes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-11-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mrs. Nietzsche Was Tough on Little Friedrich
Biking mom to obviously struggling son: Why are you so weak?
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: also struggling
Categories: Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Castration Can't Have Helped Any of That
Woman #1: I think my new cat is different.
Woman #2: What do you mean by different?
Woman #1: I'm pretty sure he's metro-sexual, because he meows like a girl.
Woman #2: It could be worse.
Woman #1: Well, I don't know -- I'm fairly sure he has abandonment issues, too.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Animals | Ladies who lunch | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-11-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Gonna Go Grab a Bucket of Chicken and Some Porn
Skinny brunette: How many calories do you burn masturbating? Gross, I know...
Skinny redhead: I read in Cosmo that it's somewhere between one-fifty and two hundred.
Skinny brunette, gasping: See?! People ought to promote masturbation more! This is why America is getting so fat! No one is touching themselves!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: then why am I so fat?
Categories: Masturbation | Overheard in Minneapolis | Skinny people | Posted 2007-11-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Joining the Marines
Sighing emo kid to another: My soul is tired.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: katra
Categories: Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2007-11-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stalking Tip: A Smart Pocket Dress Can Hide Your Huge Man Hands
Chick #1: So, I have to quit my job because a transvestite is stalking me.
Chick #2: Are they hitting on you?
Chick #1: Nope, just stalking.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: a classmate
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Last Temptation of Christie
Chick on cell: Christie! Christie! You better not smoke all of your cigarettes today! [Snaps phone shut.]
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Already Tired of It
Hyper girl pulling out lots of different colored bracelets: I need to change my mood!
Friend: What's your mood, Dana?
Hyper girl: I don't know! I'm changing it!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Fashion | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Girlfriend: I Wish My Boyfriend Wasn't Such a Racist
Asian teen boy: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wellll... Your kids probably won't either
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2007-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kind Bugs Have on Their Heads?
Woman to friend: 'Cause, you know, I feel things. I'm, like, a feeler.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: feelin it!
Categories: Idiots | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Doug
Man on cell: So, are we seeing a chick flick tonight? ... Am I gonna get any play afterwards? ... Sweet, I'll see you later.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Getting off | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Didn't.
20-ish girl on cell: So, they said it's not ringworm -- it's some kind of skin virus that looks like ringworm. And they said I'm really lucky because so far it's only on my back and stomach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Friday, but they said it's probably really contagious. I just hope it goes away before my trip to Miami!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sooooo glad I didn't sit next to her
Categories: Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Moral: Spoon Bridges Break and Everyone Dies Painfully
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It's a bridge. It's a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, 'Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: