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Yeah, Technically 'Martians' and 'Venusians'
Guy in sociology class: So male and female... Are those races?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Class | Education | Gender issues | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Race | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For a Full Ten Minutes
Chick #1: I mean, just 'cause I do it doesn't mean I do it fast.
Chick #2: Yeah! Like, I used to date my Chemistry TA.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2008-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nah, but I've Been Dying to Tell That Story
Physics kid #1: I'm going to stab you in the jugular!
Physics kid #2: I once got hit in the jugular with a ping-pong ball...
Physics kid #1: My friend got hit by a car recently when he was running at night.
Physics kid #2: Wait, in the jugular?
overheardmost
Overheard by: http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/long-time-no-update.html
Categories: Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Now Present the Rules of Going Balls to the Wall
Computer science kid on phone: No, do the balls first, then the walls... Yes, the balls -- do the balls. No, not walls first... Balls! Do balls first! Then you can check to see if they get moved and get larger. Yes, you want large balls, so do the balls first!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: probablysaiditall
Categories: Advice | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Overheard at Cornell | Words | Posted 2007-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Skid or Stretch?
Sorostitute yelling at friend: I can see the marks on your butt from over here!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: yix
Categories: Ass | Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Posted 2007-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Most Fun I've Ever Had
Punk rocker: I was in the paper for being a hero, but I wasn't really. I just shoved some kid's intestines back inside him and covered it with duct tape and drove him at a hundred and forty-five miles per hour to the hospital.
Overheard by: http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Categories: Bragging | Overheard at Cornell | Punks | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How People Get a Zero on Their SATs
Sororitard #1: Oh, genius, I spelled 'cheese' wrong.
Sororitard #2: That's nothing. Sometimes I spell my own name wrong!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: twombly
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except for Britney Over There
Vice president: We're all like kind of educated or whatever...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: babygirl
Categories: Bragging | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Very Critical for a Schnauzer
Guy on cell: No way -- I left my dog in the car. I don't perform in front of animals!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sara
Categories: Animals | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"... And I Think My Back Is Broken"
Freshman girl: I guess I always thought the perfect man would just fall from the sky and say, 'Hi, I'm your husband!'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the jankster
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Almost Sorry When He Got Expelled and Hanged Himself
Girl #1: Stalkers are the best because they make you feel kind of loved.
Girl #2: I've never had a stalker!
Girl #1: Oh, God! You've never had a stalker?
Girl #2: Well, not really.
Girl #1: Stalkers are really the best. Like Kyle -- he was the really creepy kind, because he actually touched my butt in the dining hall, and it was gross.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rvl
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Getting Sober Has Been a Mixed Blessing
Girl on cell: I mean, if I was a freshman I would've been all over him, but I'm not anymore and it sucks. Now I'm all paranoid about diseases and stuff, and I can't just do whatever I want -- I actually have to think about things.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gladimnotoneofthose
Categories: Gripes | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Life Avoidance Is Fairly Inexpensive
Nerd: Just think of how much money I saved over winter break by playing World of Warcraft -- it was 10 dollars a month instead of paying for all the stuff I would have done had I gone out.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More of a Dry Meatloaf, Really
Guy: I'm not really like a saucy, creamy guy.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Food | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Goldilocks Has Trouble Adapting to the World Outside the Forest
Chick: Can I have a hot chocolate, please?
Cafe worker: What size?
Chick: Hot.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is to Say, Not at All
Dude: So, what's your major?
Chick: English.
Dude: Really? Wow, you're really fuckable for an English major.
Chick: Uh, thanks...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lola
Categories: Compliments | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Always Go There Clothed
Girl #1: My friend just got a new boyfriend. She met him in the library.
Girl #2: What? I'm always in the library! Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: yager
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
APB: Shoot on Sight
Freshman ho #1: But... Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah... I'm, like, sooo good! I've been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: newm
Categories: Bragging | Drinking & drunks | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Other Words, As Straight As Most Girls
Chick: I'm as straight as a girl who doesn't like boys!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Cornell | Sexuality | Posted 2007-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What an Extroverted Engineer Looks Like
Engineer #1: What's the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: charlie
Categories: Coworkers | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Occasional Little Fork
Enthusiastic law student: I love tiny spoons!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura and matt
Categories: Happiness | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And They're Both Spelled with Letters!
Chick: Oklahoma and Ohio -- I always get those two mixed up.
Dude: Yeah.
Chick: Wait, which one is in the middle of the country?
Dude: Uh, they both are, kind of.
Chick: Oh, well, which one is a state?
Dude: Both.
Chick: Yeah, that's why I get them mixed up!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: taranto
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Enschuldegung, No Habla Escargot
Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That's a good idea.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief
Categories: Language barrier | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's $20 Extra to See My Periodic Table
Guy on cell: I'm drunk as fuck right now... Yeah, I went out after my chem test, and they had strippers! Got a lap dance... She was bangin'. You wanna know the best part, dude? I'm doing homework, haha!... Yeah, it's due tomorrow.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zui
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Education | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think We Should See Other People
Boyfriend: Do you still have my keys?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I stopped by your house to bring them back, but I couldn't get in.
Boyfriend: What do you mean you couldn't get in?
Girlfriend: Well, you weren't home, and no one else answered the door.
Boyfriend: ... You had my keys!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kgm
Categories: Couples | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Must Have Been Kirstie Alley's Waiter at Some Point
Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y'know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I've done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude -- you've never been there... with the trough...
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I've done it.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: florack
Categories: Gossip | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since It Squirted Me
Preppy girl: I want a t-shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina -- I totally deserve one!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Preppies | Vagina | Posted 2007-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doing It with Your Teeth?
Girl #1: Whatever happened to that bird?
Guy: Which one? The original?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Guy: It's in Professor Long's* lab. I put it in a bag and squeezed the air out, so it shouldn't be rotting too much.
Girl #2: It's going to smell so bad when you open it.
Guy: No, it won't...
Girl #2: Uh, yeah it will. You'd better open it up, drop it, and run away for a few hours.
Guy: Oh, come on, for Christ's sake! After I removed the scent glands from a skunk with my bare hands and sawed its head off, what could be worse?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kinda creeped out
Categories: Animals | Death & dying | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Didn't Drop the Other One on the Floor
Dude, approaching table of people: Excuse me? Hi, I noticed you put your salad in the microwave, and I was just wondering... Why?
Asian guy: Why not?
Dude: Well, it's just... you had two... And you didn't put the other one in... I have to know!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: a'da
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Strangers | Posted 2007-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Didn't Work Out
Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: inthecoolsection
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Pride | Students | Posted 2007-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not Funny-Haha...
Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn't it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine -- dead squirrels everywhere.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Animals | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, Dead Horses
Girl #1: Ewww, that tastes like glue! I mean, I imagine if I knew what glue tasted like, it would taste like that.
Girl #2: You know what tastes like glue? Rice noodles.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: scott
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Knew I Should Have Signed Up for Praying Mantis Kung Fu!
Sorostitute #1: You can't fail gym!
Sorostitute #2: Um, yes you can. I have a 'U' on my transcript in Swedish massage and yoga.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: Bimbettes | Education | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Schizophrenics and Psychotics Do
Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something... Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the sinister minister
Categories: Drugs | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Complexion, Teeth... Is There Anything Spunk Can't Do?
Sorostitute: I hear seminal fluid makes your teeth whiter.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Tuck? I Tuck.
Confused girl to another: You're a man-whore? I'm a man-whore, too!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bragging | Hoochies | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? Show Me.
Sorority girl #1: She's from Missouri.
Sorority girl #2: Missouri... Is it even civilized there?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: annoyedbutamusedtesttaker
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So She's Preparing for a Disaster?
Dude: She totally sandbags! You know she sandbags?!
Chick: Like there's a hurricane.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pineapple
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When They Get the Messages, Her Parents Will Be Happy
Girl leaving message on cell: ... Anyway, some good news: I'm not pregnant! Yup! You should be shocked, right? Okay, talk to you later.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Same to You, with the Herpes and Fruit Flies
Chick on cell: Okay, good luck with the bees and good luck with the scoliosis.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Categories: Etiquette | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... And That the First Rule of Jerry Is "Don't Talk about Jerry"
Drunk girl, screaming: I've got rules! Rule number one: Jerry is a pussy! Rule number two: Jerry is a pussy! Rule number three: ... Um, I forgot where I was going with this.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lola
Categories: Drunks | Insults | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Think of the Pay-Per-View Revenue!
Frisbee boy #1: This is what war should be: They should give everyone one Frisbees with razor blades on them and send them into battle.
Frisbee boy #2: You know, you're not going to make a very good physicist if that's your contribution to modern warfare.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: charlie
Categories: Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Big Fish in a Little Pond
Scrawny Jewish boy: I went to Hebrew school for seven years. I can kick anyone's ass.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: smap
Categories: Jews | Overheard at Cornell | Threats | Posted 2007-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook