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Yeah, Technically 'Martians' and 'Venusians'
Guy in sociology class: So male and female... Are those races?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Class | Education | Gender issues | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Race | Students | Stupidity | Posted 2008-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For a Full Ten Minutes
Chick #1: I mean, just 'cause I do it doesn't mean I do it fast.
Chick #2: Yeah! Like, I used to date my Chemistry TA.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2008-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nah, but I've Been Dying to Tell That Story
Physics kid #1: I'm going to stab you in the jugular!
Physics kid #2: I once got hit in the jugular with a ping-pong ball...
Physics kid #1: My friend got hit by a car recently when he was running at night.
Physics kid #2: Wait, in the jugular?
overheardmost
Overheard by: http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/long-time-no-update.html
Categories: Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2008-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Now Present the Rules of Going Balls to the Wall
Computer science kid on phone: No, do the balls first, then the walls... Yes, the balls -- do the balls. No, not walls first... Balls! Do balls first! Then you can check to see if they get moved and get larger. Yes, you want large balls, so do the balls first!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: probablysaiditall
Categories: Advice | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Overheard at Cornell | Words | Posted 2007-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Skid or Stretch?
Sorostitute yelling at friend: I can see the marks on your butt from over here!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: yix
Categories: Ass | Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Posted 2007-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Most Fun I've Ever Had
Punk rocker: I was in the paper for being a hero, but I wasn't really. I just shoved some kid's intestines back inside him and covered it with duct tape and drove him at a hundred and forty-five miles per hour to the hospital.
Overheard by: http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Categories: Bragging | Overheard at Cornell | Punks | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How People Get a Zero on Their SATs
Sororitard #1: Oh, genius, I spelled 'cheese' wrong.
Sororitard #2: That's nothing. Sometimes I spell my own name wrong!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: twombly
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except for Britney Over There
Vice president: We're all like kind of educated or whatever...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: babygirl
Categories: Bragging | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Very Critical for a Schnauzer
Guy on cell: No way -- I left my dog in the car. I don't perform in front of animals!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sara
Categories: Animals | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"... And I Think My Back Is Broken"
Freshman girl: I guess I always thought the perfect man would just fall from the sky and say, 'Hi, I'm your husband!'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the jankster
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Almost Sorry When He Got Expelled and Hanged Himself
Girl #1: Stalkers are the best because they make you feel kind of loved.
Girl #2: I've never had a stalker!
Girl #1: Oh, God! You've never had a stalker?
Girl #2: Well, not really.
Girl #1: Stalkers are really the best. Like Kyle -- he was the really creepy kind, because he actually touched my butt in the dining hall, and it was gross.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rvl
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Getting Sober Has Been a Mixed Blessing
Girl on cell: I mean, if I was a freshman I would've been all over him, but I'm not anymore and it sucks. Now I'm all paranoid about diseases and stuff, and I can't just do whatever I want -- I actually have to think about things.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gladimnotoneofthose
Categories: Gripes | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Life Avoidance Is Fairly Inexpensive
Nerd: Just think of how much money I saved over winter break by playing World of Warcraft -- it was 10 dollars a month instead of paying for all the stuff I would have done had I gone out.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More of a Dry Meatloaf, Really
Guy: I'm not really like a saucy, creamy guy.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Food | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Goldilocks Has Trouble Adapting to the World Outside the Forest
Chick: Can I have a hot chocolate, please?
Cafe worker: What size?
Chick: Hot.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is to Say, Not at All
Dude: So, what's your major?
Chick: English.
Dude: Really? Wow, you're really fuckable for an English major.
Chick: Uh, thanks...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lola
Categories: Compliments | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Always Go There Clothed
Girl #1: My friend just got a new boyfriend. She met him in the library.
Girl #2: What? I'm always in the library! Why don't I have a boyfriend?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: yager
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
APB: Shoot on Sight
Freshman ho #1: But... Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah... I'm, like, sooo good! I've been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: newm
Categories: Bragging | Drinking & drunks | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Other Words, As Straight As Most Girls
Chick: I'm as straight as a girl who doesn't like boys!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Cornell | Sexuality | Posted 2007-09-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What an Extroverted Engineer Looks Like
Engineer #1: What's the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: charlie
Categories: Coworkers | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Occasional Little Fork
Enthusiastic law student: I love tiny spoons!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura and matt
Categories: Happiness | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And They're Both Spelled with Letters!
Chick: Oklahoma and Ohio -- I always get those two mixed up.
Dude: Yeah.
Chick: Wait, which one is in the middle of the country?
Dude: Uh, they both are, kind of.
Chick: Oh, well, which one is a state?
Dude: Both.
Chick: Yeah, that's why I get them mixed up!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: taranto
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Enschuldegung, No Habla Escargot
Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That's a good idea.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief
Categories: Language barrier | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's $20 Extra to See My Periodic Table
Guy on cell: I'm drunk as fuck right now... Yeah, I went out after my chem test, and they had strippers! Got a lap dance... She was bangin'. You wanna know the best part, dude? I'm doing homework, haha!... Yeah, it's due tomorrow.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zui
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Education | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think We Should See Other People
Boyfriend: Do you still have my keys?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I stopped by your house to bring them back, but I couldn't get in.
Boyfriend: What do you mean you couldn't get in?
Girlfriend: Well, you weren't home, and no one else answered the door.
Boyfriend: ... You had my keys!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kgm
Categories: Couples | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Must Have Been Kirstie Alley's Waiter at Some Point
Dude #1: Dude, have you ever, y'know, worked with slop?
Dude #2: Yeah, I've done it.
Dude #1: No, seriously, dude -- you've never been there... with the trough...
Dude #2: Dude, I totally have too done it.
Dude #1: When?
Dude #2: I dunno, man, but I've done it.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: florack
Categories: Gossip | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since It Squirted Me
Preppy girl: I want a t-shirt! I mean, I stuck my head in a vagina -- I totally deserve one!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: what would you do for a tee shirt?
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Preppies | Vagina | Posted 2007-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doing It with Your Teeth?
Girl #1: Whatever happened to that bird?
Guy: Which one? The original?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Guy: It's in Professor Long's* lab. I put it in a bag and squeezed the air out, so it shouldn't be rotting too much.
Girl #2: It's going to smell so bad when you open it.
Guy: No, it won't...
Girl #2: Uh, yeah it will. You'd better open it up, drop it, and run away for a few hours.
Guy: Oh, come on, for Christ's sake! After I removed the scent glands from a skunk with my bare hands and sawed its head off, what could be worse?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kinda creeped out
Categories: Animals | Death & dying | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Didn't Drop the Other One on the Floor
Dude, approaching table of people: Excuse me? Hi, I noticed you put your salad in the microwave, and I was just wondering... Why?
Asian guy: Why not?
Dude: Well, it's just... you had two... And you didn't put the other one in... I have to know!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: a'da
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Strangers | Posted 2007-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Didn't Work Out
Worried junior: Oh my god, Betty, we are totally not sitting in the loser section today. Today we are going to be cool.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: inthecoolsection
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Pride | Students | Posted 2007-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not Funny-Haha...
Dude #1: So, we should do some sort of a school prank.
Dude #2: Wouldn't it be cool if we poisoned all the acorns on campus and had all the squirrels eat them and die? Imagine -- dead squirrels everywhere.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Animals | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, Dead Horses
Girl #1: Ewww, that tastes like glue! I mean, I imagine if I knew what glue tasted like, it would taste like that.
Girl #2: You know what tastes like glue? Rice noodles.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: scott
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Knew I Should Have Signed Up for Praying Mantis Kung Fu!
Sorostitute #1: You can't fail gym!
Sorostitute #2: Um, yes you can. I have a 'U' on my transcript in Swedish massage and yoga.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: Bimbettes | Education | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Schizophrenics and Psychotics Do
Girl engineer: I should do LSD or something... Then I could, like, step outside my mind and solve all of these problems from, like, a greater depth of being.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the sinister minister
Categories: Drugs | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Complexion, Teeth... Is There Anything Spunk Can't Do?
Sorostitute: I hear seminal fluid makes your teeth whiter.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Tuck? I Tuck.
Confused girl to another: You're a man-whore? I'm a man-whore, too!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Bragging | Hoochies | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? Show Me.
Sorority girl #1: She's from Missouri.
Sorority girl #2: Missouri... Is it even civilized there?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: annoyedbutamusedtesttaker
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Sorority types | Posted 2007-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So She's Preparing for a Disaster?
Dude: She totally sandbags! You know she sandbags?!
Chick: Like there's a hurricane.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pineapple
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When They Get the Messages, Her Parents Will Be Happy
Girl leaving message on cell: ... Anyway, some good news: I'm not pregnant! Yup! You should be shocked, right? Okay, talk to you later.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Same to You, with the Herpes and Fruit Flies
Chick on cell: Okay, good luck with the bees and good luck with the scoliosis.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Categories: Etiquette | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... And That the First Rule of Jerry Is "Don't Talk about Jerry"
Drunk girl, screaming: I've got rules! Rule number one: Jerry is a pussy! Rule number two: Jerry is a pussy! Rule number three: ... Um, I forgot where I was going with this.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lola
Categories: Drunks | Insults | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Think of the Pay-Per-View Revenue!
Frisbee boy #1: This is what war should be: They should give everyone one Frisbees with razor blades on them and send them into battle.
Frisbee boy #2: You know, you're not going to make a very good physicist if that's your contribution to modern warfare.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: charlie
Categories: Guys | Jobs & Careers | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Big Fish in a Little Pond
Scrawny Jewish boy: I went to Hebrew school for seven years. I can kick anyone's ass.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: smap
Categories: Jews | Overheard at Cornell | Threats | Posted 2007-07-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bob, How Many Times Did You Get Checked Tonight?
Dude #1: Why are we walking through the engineering quad?
Dude #2: C'mon man, it's like the hypotenuse... It makes sense!
Dude #3: Dude, we just got out of hockey and you guys are talking about fourth dimensions?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: marcella
Categories: Education | Friends | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had to Defer a Year
Guy: The only reason I remember the day I got accepted to Cornell is because it's the only time I ever walked in on my parents having sex.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Memory lane | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Flaps Are Up and Everything
Whiny girl: My flight was canceled!
Friend: Oh, no! ... Your hair looks great!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Paris
Categories: Compliments | Friends | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wish I Could Say the Same for You
Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don't even bother. It's so ugly. It looks so out of place... It's probably thinking, 'What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.'
Boyfriend: That's what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don't worry, babe, I'm sure he'll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee
Categories: Animals | Couples | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hell, There Will Probably Be More!
Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I'll do it later -- the kids with cancer will still have cancer.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Mike
Categories: Maladies | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Never Forget Your First Loser
Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Memory lane | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Kind of Surprised You Still Are
Girl on cell: Well, if you keep blacking out, you won't be a virgin anymore.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Brian
Categories: Drinking & drunks | New York | North America | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Virginity | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Huggy Bear: My Pimp Sense Is Tingling!
Liberated woman: I don't know what I'll do until I get married... I'm just so not into, like, doing taxes and stuff.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: disillusioned
Categories: Bimbettes | Gripes | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Only a Rough Estimate on the Hos
Distressed girl: I don't know how many bitches I have!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: queer engineer
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Most Thorough Parole Officer I've Ever Had, for Sure
Girl: But, I mean, he was in my lower intestine. I just can't get past that.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: benji
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Undeserved Sympathy Is Better Than Being Ignored
Girl: I like wearing this hat because it makes me look like a cancer patient.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: wb
Categories: Chicks | Clothing | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Do a Chinese American Dance in Sweats, and That's My Final Offer
Guy: I'll do the work and you'll do the Chinese dance in sexy underwear.
Angry Chinese girl: No!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Categories: Asians | Dancing | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Otherwise My Tech Support Job Will Be Obsolete
Girl on cell: Well, I don't care if they kill fucking humans; just don't fucking kill the worms!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearstoomuch
Categories: Murder | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know Exactly Where They've Been
Dude on cell: No, I really don't want to put your balls in my mouth, thank you very much.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: laura
Categories: Balls | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I'm Almost Always Sore, N-4
Bingo number caller: I pick up lots of chicks, G-56. But when I don't, I masturbate, B-8.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bingo player
Categories: Coworkers | Masturbation | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Can Dispense with Talking
Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you 'Baby'?
Frat boy #2: No... You've bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying -- we're experienced.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the ear
Categories: Backdoor | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Small Doses, Obviously
Drunk girl: That is so funny, because I love underprivileged children!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Categories: Drunks | Jobs & Careers | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If I'd Been Using a Fork They'd Be Extinct by Now
Drunk guy with pink hat: You guys should totally use chop sticks -- it's so pussy not to.
Hippie, light-heartedly: We're trying to save some trees.
Drunk guy with pink hat: Do you have any idea how many geese I killed today? 12.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard at Cornell | Words | Posted 2007-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Emo Ranch Is Down the Road
Guy: So at this Texas game ranch they release emos, and you shoot at them... I mean, emus.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pace
Categories: Gossip | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Words | Posted 2007-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Get Enough of 'Em Together and You'll Qualify for the AARP Discount
Drunk guy: Can I get a pack of cigarettes?
Trucker: Can I see some ID?
Drunk guy: Which one? 21 or 19?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jack
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can We Go Over the Air/Fat Correlation Again?
Frat boy #1: Dude, look at how much air there is in this room.
Frat boy #2: Dude, what if they charged money for, like, air?
Frat boy #1: Dude, I wouldn't care -- I'm not that fat... Dude, don't you ever just want to, like, throw a knife up in the air above a crowd of people and, like, see what happens?
Frat boy #2: Totally.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doppelganger
Categories: Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Posted 2007-05-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then You'll Hate Gay-Porn Method Acting
Chick: I don't like processes... and anal things.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: twombly
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Posted 2007-04-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Key to Fame Is Setting Yourself Apart
Guy on cell: Oh, so you're the one who likes horseshoe crabs!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: patricia
Categories: Gossip | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Are You?
Drunk girl #1: I don't know how much I liked that wine.
Drunk girl #2: Me either. It was kind of too sweet.
Drunk girl #3: Guys, I just swallowed a dime.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tan
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Warn Them about Your Jagged Left Nut?
Chick on cell: You're gonna go rubbin' your balls all over other girls and I can't even...?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lichka
Categories: Balls | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Has a Right to Know Why Your Water Broke in His Classroom
Girl: Why would I tell Professor Turner I'm pregnant? I haven't even told my parents yet.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bailey
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Pregnancy | Students | Posted 2007-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really? I Couldn't See It behind Your Asscheeks
Sorority pledge #1 walking in on another: Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Don't worry, I didn't see anything.
Sorority pledge #2: Haha, it's okay, I don't care -- I have a thong on.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: victoria's true secret
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Undies | Posted 2007-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I Can Dig Up Some Gay Porn to Support That Thesis
Hippie student: So, did the oil man and thong man work together?
Professor: One could only hope.
Archaeology class
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
And Who Grooms Me
Dude: I'm so glad I have a code monkey as a roommate so I don't have to live with someone who--
Code monkey roommate, interrupting: --Is happy?
Dude: Exactly.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Friends | Happiness | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Knew You Didn't Have Mono Last Year
Grad student trying to impress a date: Pigeon shit is the most toxic bird poop.
Date: How do you know that?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
Categories: Birds | Overheard at Cornell | Poop | Students | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, Now's Not the Time. Fine.
Nerd #1: You know, we never really have to grow up. We just have to know when to act like we're actually adults.
Nerd #2 with laptop: Shut up, I'm watching Batman: The Animated Series.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Laptops | Overheard at Cornell | TV shows | Posted 2007-04-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can We Meet to Talk about This?
Blonde on cell: So I called her up and asked her why she was so mad at me, and she was like, 'You called me, like, five hundred times when I was with Alan, and I think you're a creepy stalker. And I talked about it with him and he thinks you're a stalker, too.' And I was like, 'You really think I'm some sort of lesbian stalker?! Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed!'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Sexuality | Posted 2007-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Now I've Got This Sore or Whatever
Girl #1: So I was, like, in this hot tub with this guy, and we're, like, making out or whatever.
Girl #2: Uh-huh...
Girl #1: And then I go, 'What's your name?' And I think he said something, but I was like, 'Whatever.'
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alex b.
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Foreplay | Names | New York | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Willing to Defend the Moral Low Ground against All Comers
Bimbette: I don't know what his problem is. Columbus Day? Like, whatever, it's a day off. I would celebrate Saddam Hussein Day if I got a day off.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sitt
Categories: Bimbettes | Holidays | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, You'll Be Ready Next Time
Freshman girl #1: I met a boy in a kilt on Friday. I wish I would have had sex with him.
Freshman girl #2: Yeah, kilts are hot.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: sorostitute
Categories: Chicks | Fashion | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pictures at an Exhibitionist
Creepster: Do you mind if I show him a picture of you?
Cute girl: What picture?
Creepster: Catholic school girl.
Cute girl: You still have that?!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bevans
Categories: Creepsters | Overheard at Cornell | Roleplay | Posted 2007-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Usually Ask You to Do It for Them
Sorostitute: Hey, you guys, can police just, like, pull cars over?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pineapple girl
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lycopenes Seemed Important at the Time
Chick: It was a bad night... I was drunk... and high... and I ate half a bottle of ketchup.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: xcuterboix
Categories: Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Couldn't
Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men -- we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: maria
Categories: Fashion | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know, the Old Testament God Is a Real Dick
Art history TA: This print depicts the sacrifice of Isaac, which is a biblical story where God told Abraham to kill his first-born son.
Bimbette: Oh. My. God. That's... terrible! That's almost as bad as a girl telling her boyfriend that he needs to get rid of his dog because she's allergic.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mary
Categories: Bimbettes | Class | Overheard at Cornell | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Interrupting Our Tequila Shot Rotation
Student: Is 'too' an adverb?
English professor: Why do you care?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: maria
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Also That I, Like, Have a License to Practice Medicine
Chick on cell: I mean, I feel kind of dumb, like, registering to vote and, like, not knowing what's going on and then, like, voting anyway. But, I mean, it's cool that I can vote.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rv
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Philosophy | Sorority types | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Our "Paddles" Are Just Irons with Strings Attached, Anyway
Walkie-talkie of student EMT #1: Two-car motor vehicle accident, minor injuries...
Student EMT #2: Dude... How far away is that? We should go... I'm bored.
Student EMT #1: Nah, let's get some ice cream.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: scott
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Someone Needs to Hold Up the Score Cards
Grad student #1: Yeah, it is really hard. They have to wait and see how much, like, brain matter they share.
Grad student #2: What does the one twin do while the other twin has sex?
Grad student #1: I think he just lays there and is really uncomfortable.
Grad student #2: Awkward.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: llouie
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Sex | Students | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Be Considerate of the Rest of Us
Jock: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hung
Categories: Advice | Condoms | Jocks | Overheard at Cornell | Vagina | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Crap, This One's a Tattoo!
Dude: Hey, man, do I have any more swastikas on my face? I tried to wash them all off...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zak
Categories: Bathing | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Like Taking an Exam in the Afterglow
Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That's what I'm going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now... [He leaves the room.]
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Maxwell
Categories: Class | Frat boy types | Masturbation | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is a Fancy Word That Means 'Requiring a Splint'
Sororitard: I mean, he has, like, clinical depression. That's like breaking your arm. It's, like, hereditary.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn't Intervened
Drunk frat boy: I don't care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Drunks | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Rack | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Apparently I've Never Experienced 115 Degree Heat
Freshman girl: It's so much better when it's cold than it is when it's warm -- all you can do when it's 115 degrees out is sit around and air out your vagina flaps!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: broyhaha
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Students | Vagina | Weather | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, I Remember When You Were Cool
Frat boy: Nah, I'm not going out tonight. I'd rather wake up tomorrow and have a problem set done instead of a fat girl.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Education | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Mean, That's Too Graphic for My Wedding Vows?
Loud girl on cell: I dunno... I mean, it takes a lot for someone to make out with you after you've been puking.
Outside Goldwin Smith Hall
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Beholdin' a Gram
Beholder: You are not a beholder, buddy.
Non-beholder: Nah, dude. I'm pretty sure I behold.
Duffield
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: benji
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Global Warming Just Strikes Some People Harder
Guy: Do you guys ever get giant puddles underneath you in class?
Weary friend: Yes.
Guy: Mine always seems to be so much bigger than everyone else's.
Becker Dorm
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Students | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
