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Despite What Every Porno Has Taught You.
Frat boy to another: Dude... Just because you can get with one of them doesn't mean you can automatically have a twin threesome.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Thought That Was Gin.
Suit to friend: Coffee is like beer for the morning.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Eavesdrop DC | Suits | Posted 2010-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Like They Taught Us at Harvard Business School
Middle-aged woman on cell: Unless he doubles my salary, I'm not sleeping with him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Jobs & Careers | Money | On the phone | Sex | Women | Posted 2010-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America, Encapsulated
Woman #1: I love TGI Friday's, but if I could pick any local place to go for dinner tonight, I would pick Olive Garden.
Woman #2: Oooh, good pick! What about Macaroni Grill?
Woman #1: I love Macaroni Grill! But isn't it a little fancy for tonight?
Woman #2: No, we can go change.
Woman #1: Are you sure you're okay with driving in this city?
Woman #2: Sure, it is okay.
Woman #1: Maybe we should pray before we leave... you know, just in case.
Woman #2: Great idea.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Fears | Religion | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2010-03-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Few Black Eyes, and They're All, "Wah Wah Wah!"
Female customs and border patrol officer: So I wasn't surprised when he left his wife for his girlfriend, but I was surprised by the domestic battery charge. But... you know how women can be.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jan
Categories: Cops | Crimes | Eavesdrop DC | Gender issues | Relationships | Violence | Posted 2010-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aren't You Glad We Can All Joke About Mass Murder Like This?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking "hey, can I park my car here?"
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Compare and contrast | Cops | Crimes | Eavesdrop DC | Employees | Offers and requests | Violence | Posted 2010-01-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Eventually Re-Tell It in the Feature Film What's Glove Got to Do with It?
Girl to female friend: Yes, if I get the job at the CDC I will celebrate your chlamydia as an inspirational story.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Girls | Jobs & Careers | STDs | Posted 2009-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eh. Most Of What We Produce Is Shit, Anyway.
Coworker #1: Are either of you any good with reviewing grammar?
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1, yelling: I'm having colon problems!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Body parts | Coworkers | Eavesdrop DC | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Posted 2009-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It'll Ruin That Perfectly Good Wii Controller
Annoyed guy walking with his girlfriend: Whatever... We can do it anally tonight if you want.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Backdoor | Couples | Eavesdrop DC | Offers and requests | Wishes | Posted 2009-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Double Dare's "Physical Challenges" Aren't What They Once Were
Girl #1: What? Did he think I was going to let him have sex with me?
Girl #2: Or choke you?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Marty
According to Mom's New Boyfriend
Six-year-old girl at the zoo: (drops French fries one by one)
Dad: Why are you dropping French fries?
Six-year-old girl: To feed them!
Dad: No one wants your old French fries.
Six-year-old girl: You're an old French fry!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Dave
...Mister "I Cut Myself with Safety Scissors"
Son to father, exiting hospital: Dad, what's a disability?
Father: It's like when someone loses their finger in an accident, (pause) which will probably happen to you.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Dads | Eavesdrop DC | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Kids | Parenting | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Thought Mimes Loved Boxes?
Female to male coworker: Stop trying to fit me into things!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tla
Categories: Coworkers | Eavesdrop DC | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Too Late.
Man to friends: I think I'm finally gonna quit my job and write the sitcom I've always wanted to, about the sassy robot.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Jobs & Careers | TV shows | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Taking Evisceration and Dismemberment Next Term?
Girl #1, about classes she's taking: Oh, yeah, and then there's Murder and Genocide.
Girl #2: That sounds awesome!
Girl #1: I know, right?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Who Wants to Volunteer for My First Demonstration?
Economics professor, discussing equilibrium in trade curves: When you reach that point, the climax, everyone can go home satisfied and exhausted. So as you can imagine, we're going to fool around with these curves quite a bit.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: au
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Eavesdrop DC | Education | Sensory experiences | Sex | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doesn't Mean I Don't Love You, Dad.
Young college woman on cell: No! No, you may not wear my underwear!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: silver spring
Categories: Clothes | Eavesdrop DC | Offers and requests | On the phone | Students | Undies | Posted 2009-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah the Zodiac Governs Best That Governs Least
Guy: That's a cool necklace. What is it?
Girl: Oh, it's Lady Liberty. I'm a libertarian.
Guy: Oh cool. I'm a Virgo.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: student
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Girls | Guys | Politics | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2009-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why There Are So Many Homicides in Maryland
Guy: You know what I'm going to do? I'm bringing back the safari hat. Tomorrow I'm wearing a safari hat to work.
Girl: That's so Baltimore!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: the hill
Categories: Clothes | Clothing | Eavesdrop DC | Girls | Guys | Posted 2009-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's Obviously the Isaiah Washington Memorial
Middle-aged wife: Oh, honey, look! It's the George Jefferson memorial.
Middle-aged husband: Seriously. You are such an idiot.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Couples | Eavesdrop DC | History | Insults | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And How Do I Get That Job?
Woman on cell, after next bus stop is announced: Did you hear that? The woman giving the announcement? It's the same woman every time. I wonder where she is.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | On the phone | Public Transportation | Questions | Stupidity | Women | Posted 2009-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I've Given Up Country Music
Supermarket cashier: I only use Charmin toilet paper; if a place doesn't have it, I bring my own.
Customer: Wow, you're picky.
Supermarket cashier: I'm picky about my men too; they have to have all of their teeth.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Body parts | Customers | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Employees | Health & Hygiene | Names | Posted 2009-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The CIA's Predicting a Win for the USSR
Waitress to guy wearing a Soviet hockey jersey: CCCP? Who's that?
Customer: It's the Soviet Union.
Waitress: Oh, are they playing the Caps tonight?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Unless You're Prepared to Teach the Rest of Us to Plié
Construction worker #1, with southern drawl, on speakerphone: Yeah, then we all woke up wearing leotards. Looked like goddamn ballerinas.
Construction worker #2: I don't think I'd tell that story.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Advice | Clothing | Compare and contrast | Construction workers | Coworkers | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Posted 2008-11-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Would You Like One?
Professor: I have three children: 15, 13, and 7.
Female student: Oh, I don't think I could have three.
Male student: Yeah, with two you can do person-on-person defense, but with three you need zone.
professor: You have a point.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Girls | Guys | Kids | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Many Watershed Moments Happen at Banana Republic
(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it's a tad too short for work. I'm only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It's not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I'm ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Advice | Clothes | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Etiquette | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Offers and requests | Students | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That the Best Way to Take the Moral High Ground?
Woman #1: So, you think he is?
Woman #2: No, you don't really think he is?
Woman #3: Hell, yes! I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Infidelity | Penis | Questions | Sexuality | Violence | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The TV Series That Never Made It to Lifetime
Woman #1: Come on, hurry up! I want to go home.
Woman #2: Jesus, you sure do get cranky when you're sober.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Eavesdrop DC | Offers and requests | Time Management | Wishes | Women | Posted 2008-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Maslow's Wasted on the Young
(in the atrium at the HQ of one of the national intelligence agencies)
Young woman to female buddy: It just wasn't meant to be. He refused to self-actualize me...
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Relationships | Women | Words | Posted 2008-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Saying It in a Movie Doesn't Make It True, Keanu
30-something guy on cell: ...and they don't even care about all my Kung fu skills!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Feelings | Guys | On the phone | Violence | Posted 2008-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Count Facebook Status Updates
Suit #1: So you live in the Watergate.
Suit #2: I do. The famous Watergate complex.
Suit #1: It's famous?
Suit #2: Yeah--the Nixon scandal and everything.
Suit #1: Oh--I don't really follow current events.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Boys Are As Disposable As Kleenex
Girl #1: Hey girl, what's up? How's your summer? You still runnin' 'round with that bad boy?
Girl #2: Oh no, he dead.
Girl #1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?
Girl #2: Few weeks ago. It don't matter. We weren't goin' out no more.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Death & dying | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Girls | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As A Matter of Fact, Yes
Woman deli worker to male worker: Three dollar juice? Shit, what are you, a millionaire?
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Eavesdrop DC | Money | Questions | Women | Posted 2008-08-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Think of Yourself As Spencer, from The Hills
Guy to another: Dude, she's way out of your league. She's in the Majors and you're a tee-ball coach with questionable photos on your computer.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Euphemisms | Guys | Posted 2008-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I Just Nutted a Little
20-something to gay friend: I got stuffed more than a Turducken last night!
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Euphemisms | Food | Guys | Sex | Posted 2008-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cute + Stinky = Kinky
(two college girls walking down M Street towards Georgetown)
Girl #1: You look cute. I like your dress.
Girl #2: Yeah...I didn't shower.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bathing | Clothes | Compliments | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Girls | Posted 2008-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did the Left One Ever Get Over That Cold?
Mid-twenties guy leaving voice mail: Hey baby, just calling to say hi. How are your boobs?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: brickskeller
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Recorded in My Memoirs: What What (The Unibutt!)
Skater guy: I'm not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it's like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
I Mean, I Gotta Get My Orgasm Somewhere, Right?
Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn't get it up, so we just watched Schindler's List instead.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Erections | Girls | Leisure | Movies | On the phone | Words | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Have the Cutest Little Subway
[Girl hugging a guy.]
Girl: Eew, you smell like vagina.
Guy: Oh no, that's just Philadelphia.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: EavesdropDC
Categories: Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Geography | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Vagina | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Hoochie-Skipper.
20-something in pink heels, on a Saturday afternoon: God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Feelings | Toys | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Gonna Write Off This Ride As an Educational Expense
WASPy college student to cab driver: You're absolutely right, sir. A curse upon the Saudis.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Especially If He Were Standing Next to Me with a Machete
Guy on phone: I don't vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot... Well, yeah, if it was 'Killer,' then I'd definitely vote for him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Gripes | Guys | Names | On the phone | Politics | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Father Martin, Why Is This Pew Wet and Sticky?
Girl: I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my mom happy... And the priest is really fucking hot.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Compliments | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Family ties | Girls | Religion | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Calling President Washington "G-Money" Is Just Wrong
American history professor: Whoever is writing 'vah-jay-jay' instead of 'Virginia' in the notes they are submitting, please stop.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Words | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With a Scary Product
Girl: Why do they have an ambassador to Vatican City?
Guy: Because it's a country and stuff.
Girl: Do, like, normal people live there?
Guy: I don't know...
Girl, thoughtfully: It's a scary place...
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Geography | Girls | Guys | Politics | Questions | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-02-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And People Who Use Them Poorly
Worker, about Administrative Professionals' Day: We don't have administrative professionals here... Just computers.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Coworkers | Eavesdrop DC | Idiots | Stupidity | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After You Used Me As a Marijuana Mule?
Little tyke, about fireworks: Oooh, look -- green! Like St. Patrick's Day! Remember when I made it St. Patrick's Day in the toilet?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Holidays | Kids | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Wasn't Henry Winkler As the Head Ewok?
Girl watching end credits of Return of the Jedi: Where's Scott Baio?
Guy: What?
Girl: Scott Baio -- I don't see his name in the credits.
Guy: Scott Baio was not in Star Wars!
Girl: Yes, he was! He was celebrating at the end! The pilot!
Guy: Scott Baio is not Wedge Antilles!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: About celebrities | Bimbettes | Eavesdrop DC | Movies | Posted 2007-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was Badly Burned in the Ensuing Explosion
Girl, about guy she had over the previous night: It freaked me out. I told him he had to do a double flush, a courtesy flush, and light a match, or he wasn't allowed back.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Etiquette | Gripes | Posted 2007-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haunting Image: John McCain in Assless Chaps
Intern girl #1: Bet McCain's into S&M.
Intern girl #2: I can see that.
Intern girl #1: Ever see the veins in McCain's head? They throb all day. I had a boyfriend like that.
Intern girl #2: Did he want to smack you around?
Intern girl #1: He wanted me to smack him around.
Intern girl #2 Did you?
Intern girl #1: Psh. I am sooo not maternal.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Posted 2007-11-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In This Issue, "Seven Secrets to Make Him Give You Tax Money!"
Bimbette: She went to beauty school, so she thinks she's a cosmopolitician or something.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bimbettes | Eavesdrop DC | Words | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ugh, Noun-Adjective Marriages Are So Unnatural
Guy: I don't understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It's hard to explain... It's like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Food | Friends | Posted 2007-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Keep Saying We Need to Re-Decorate the Kids' Room
Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I'd love one of those for home!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Creepsters | Eavesdrop DC | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where Being Straight with the IRS Gets You
Hobo to suits who ignore his panhandling: Yeah?! Well, at least I never lied on my income taxes!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Hobos | Lies | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like That Time You Dragged Me to Popeye's
Tourist at Folklife Festival: You're just looking for an excuse to take a picture of a black person.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Race | Tourists | Posted 2007-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Used to Be Carnival Prizes Were Things Like Stuffed Giraffes
Dude: I think I'll take the bean bag over the butt sex.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Backdoor | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Posted 2007-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
People Who Work in DC Think There's a Law Against Bad Weather
Office whiner: The weather conditions in here are unacceptable.
Manager: Huh?
Office whiner: This office has been climatically compromised, and I have to go home to be warm, and with full pay.
Manager: Sorry, that's not an option.
Office whiner: Well, then I deserve hazard pay for working under these conditions.
Manager: Again, I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen.
Office whiner, agitated: Well, fine! But I don't like being cold! [Stomps off to cube.]
Manager: Neither do I.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Employees | Gripes | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like, Five Times before You Hit the Floor
Guy: Man, I have a ton of friends who are Asian. But watch out -- if you touch one of them on the head, they'll kill you.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Race | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Recommend Interacting with Me to Keep Yourselves Awake
Professor: I love talking about this stuff. I could go on forever. And I'm tenured, so if you have a problem with that you'll just have to deal.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Education | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, What Kind of Hooker Do I Look Like?
Chick #1: Girl, get off me. You know I don't like hookers.
Chick #2: Yeah, well, I don't like Chinese people.
Chick #1: Do I look Chinese to you?
Chick #2: I was just letting you know.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Gripes | Posted 2007-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Like, Red Sky at Morning, Sailor Take Warning!
Girl #1: I just want to tell her, 'Just because you think the sun rises and sets in her vagina doesn't mean we all have to.'
Girl #2: Seriously.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Vagina | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Pot and Doritos Should Be Sold in Blister-Paks
Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Stoners | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Credo We Enforce with Artillery
Girl on cell: If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texas.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | On the phone | Philosophy | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Having Some Now
Geek: Yeah, I'm a big geek, but I still really like sex.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Eavesdrop DC | Sex | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'll Refer to This Pie Chart...
Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.
Starbucks, E Street
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Vagina | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Said That about My Leg, and It's Still Broken
Dude #1: I have a really bad headache.
Dude #2: You know what cures that? Sodomy!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Headaches | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Backpack, for Instance, Holds a Gram of Weak Pot
International Relations professor: If I was to go to San Diego, or any city I've never been to, give me 24 hours and I could tell you what, where, by whom, and how much the drugs are sold for... [Long pause] And, depending on the drug, perhaps even the quality.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do Other Guys Get All the Herpes?
Dude: It's weird... All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It's totally unfair.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Gripes | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Known As a White Sale
Guy #1: 'Drinking the Kool-Aid' is such a misused phrase. It's even become corporate speak. Don't people realize that it's a reference to the death of a thousand people?
Guy #2: Yeah, next thing you know they'll be saying, 'We're going to offer a Holocaust of savings.'
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Guys | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Totally Worth It
Man to buddy: She's the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex.
Adams Morgan, DC
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Guys | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are These Not the Hottest Slippers Ever?
Girl: I'm like Mister Rogers -- I change my style twice a day.
Farragut North Metro
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Plus Side, They Make Great Stress Balls
Dude: Man, I've dated two chicks with fake boobs. I mean, what's up with that?
GW party
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Rack | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
