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Did the Left One Ever Get Over That Cold?
Mid-twenties guy leaving voice mail: Hey baby, just calling to say hi. How are your boobs?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: brickskeller
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Nipples | Questions | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2008-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Recorded in My Memoirs: What What (The Unibutt!)
Skater guy: I'm not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it's like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
I Mean, I Gotta Get My Orgasm Somewhere, Right?
Girl on phone: Yeah, he couldn't get it up, so we just watched Schindler's List instead.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Erections | Girls | Leisure | Movies | On the phone | Words | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Have the Cutest Little Subway
[Girl hugging a guy.]
Girl: Eew, you smell like vagina.
Guy: Oh no, that's just Philadelphia.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: EavesdropDC
Categories: Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Geography | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Vagina | Posted 2008-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Hoochie-Skipper.
20-something in pink heels, on a Saturday afternoon: God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Feelings | Toys | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Gonna Write Off This Ride As an Educational Expense
WASPy college student to cab driver: You're absolutely right, sir. A curse upon the Saudis.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Especially If He Were Standing Next to Me with a Machete
Guy on phone: I don't vote for people who put their name in quotation marks on the ballot... Well, yeah, if it was 'Killer,' then I'd definitely vote for him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Gripes | Guys | Names | On the phone | Politics | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Father Martin, Why Is This Pew Wet and Sticky?
Girl: I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my mom happy... And the priest is really fucking hot.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Compliments | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Family ties | Girls | Religion | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-03-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Calling President Washington "G-Money" Is Just Wrong
American history professor: Whoever is writing 'vah-jay-jay' instead of 'Virginia' in the notes they are submitting, please stop.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Words | Posted 2008-03-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With a Scary Product
Girl: Why do they have an ambassador to Vatican City?
Guy: Because it's a country and stuff.
Girl: Do, like, normal people live there?
Guy: I don't know...
Girl, thoughtfully: It's a scary place...
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Geography | Girls | Guys | Politics | Questions | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-02-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And People Who Use Them Poorly
Worker, about Administrative Professionals' Day: We don't have administrative professionals here... Just computers.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Coworkers | Eavesdrop DC | Idiots | Stupidity | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After You Used Me As a Marijuana Mule?
Little tyke, about fireworks: Oooh, look -- green! Like St. Patrick's Day! Remember when I made it St. Patrick's Day in the toilet?
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Holidays | Kids | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Wasn't Henry Winkler As the Head Ewok?
Girl watching end credits of Return of the Jedi: Where's Scott Baio?
Guy: What?
Girl: Scott Baio -- I don't see his name in the credits.
Guy: Scott Baio was not in Star Wars!
Girl: Yes, he was! He was celebrating at the end! The pilot!
Guy: Scott Baio is not Wedge Antilles!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: About celebrities | Bimbettes | Eavesdrop DC | Movies | Posted 2007-12-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was Badly Burned in the Ensuing Explosion
Girl, about guy she had over the previous night: It freaked me out. I told him he had to do a double flush, a courtesy flush, and light a match, or he wasn't allowed back.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Etiquette | Gripes | Posted 2007-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haunting Image: John McCain in Assless Chaps
Intern girl #1: Bet McCain's into S&M.
Intern girl #2: I can see that.
Intern girl #1: Ever see the veins in McCain's head? They throb all day. I had a boyfriend like that.
Intern girl #2: Did he want to smack you around?
Intern girl #1: He wanted me to smack him around.
Intern girl #2 Did you?
Intern girl #1: Psh. I am sooo not maternal.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Posted 2007-11-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In This Issue, "Seven Secrets to Make Him Give You Tax Money!"
Bimbette: She went to beauty school, so she thinks she's a cosmopolitician or something.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bimbettes | Eavesdrop DC | Words | Posted 2007-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ugh, Noun-Adjective Marriages Are So Unnatural
Guy: I don't understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It's hard to explain... It's like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Food | Friends | Posted 2007-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Keep Saying We Need to Re-Decorate the Kids' Room
Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I'd love one of those for home!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Creepsters | Eavesdrop DC | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where Being Straight with the IRS Gets You
Hobo to suits who ignore his panhandling: Yeah?! Well, at least I never lied on my income taxes!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Hobos | Lies | Posted 2007-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like That Time You Dragged Me to Popeye's
Tourist at Folklife Festival: You're just looking for an excuse to take a picture of a black person.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Race | Tourists | Posted 2007-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Used to Be Carnival Prizes Were Things Like Stuffed Giraffes
Dude: I think I'll take the bean bag over the butt sex.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Backdoor | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Posted 2007-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
People Who Work in DC Think There's a Law Against Bad Weather
Office whiner: The weather conditions in here are unacceptable.
Manager: Huh?
Office whiner: This office has been climatically compromised, and I have to go home to be warm, and with full pay.
Manager: Sorry, that's not an option.
Office whiner: Well, then I deserve hazard pay for working under these conditions.
Manager: Again, I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen.
Office whiner, agitated: Well, fine! But I don't like being cold! [Stomps off to cube.]
Manager: Neither do I.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Employees | Gripes | Posted 2007-08-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like, Five Times before You Hit the Floor
Guy: Man, I have a ton of friends who are Asian. But watch out -- if you touch one of them on the head, they'll kill you.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Race | Posted 2007-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Recommend Interacting with Me to Keep Yourselves Awake
Professor: I love talking about this stuff. I could go on forever. And I'm tenured, so if you have a problem with that you'll just have to deal.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Education | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait, What Kind of Hooker Do I Look Like?
Chick #1: Girl, get off me. You know I don't like hookers.
Chick #2: Yeah, well, I don't like Chinese people.
Chick #1: Do I look Chinese to you?
Chick #2: I was just letting you know.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Gripes | Posted 2007-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Like, Red Sky at Morning, Sailor Take Warning!
Girl #1: I just want to tell her, 'Just because you think the sun rises and sets in her vagina doesn't mean we all have to.'
Girl #2: Seriously.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Vagina | Posted 2007-05-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Pot and Doritos Should Be Sold in Blister-Paks
Stoned girl on other side of the curtain: I ate a stress ball.
Nurse: Okay... Was it a foam ball? Gel? Did you just take a bite?
Stoned girl, laughing: I ate a stress ball!
Doctor, entering a few minutes later: Now, this makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned girl: The nurse told me to take off my pants.
Doctor: Are you sure? Why don't you put them back on for the CAT scan...
Stoned girl, still laughing: I ate a stress ball.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Stoners | Posted 2007-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Credo We Enforce with Artillery
Girl on cell: If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Texas.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | On the phone | Philosophy | Posted 2007-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Having Some Now
Geek: Yeah, I'm a big geek, but I still really like sex.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Eavesdrop DC | Sex | Posted 2007-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'll Refer to This Pie Chart...
Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.
Starbucks, E Street
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Vagina | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Said That about My Leg, and It's Still Broken
Dude #1: I have a really bad headache.
Dude #2: You know what cures that? Sodomy!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Headaches | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Backpack, for Instance, Holds a Gram of Weak Pot
International Relations professor: If I was to go to San Diego, or any city I've never been to, give me 24 hours and I could tell you what, where, by whom, and how much the drugs are sold for... [Long pause] And, depending on the drug, perhaps even the quality.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do Other Guys Get All the Herpes?
Dude: It's weird... All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It's totally unfair.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Gripes | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Known As a White Sale
Guy #1: 'Drinking the Kool-Aid' is such a misused phrase. It's even become corporate speak. Don't people realize that it's a reference to the death of a thousand people?
Guy #2: Yeah, next thing you know they'll be saying, 'We're going to offer a Holocaust of savings.'
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Guys | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Totally Worth It
Man to buddy: She's the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex.
Adams Morgan, DC
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Guys | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are These Not the Hottest Slippers Ever?
Girl: I'm like Mister Rogers -- I change my style twice a day.
Farragut North Metro
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Plus Side, They Make Great Stress Balls
Dude: Man, I've dated two chicks with fake boobs. I mean, what's up with that?
GW party
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Rack | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
