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Right After He Repairs My Cable Box
Woman #1: Dammmnnn girl! This metro so damn crowded!
Woman #2: Shit yeah! Too many people here.
Woman #1: Don't worry, Obama gonna take care of that.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Gripes | Other sites | Politics | Public transportation | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Alcohol Exists.
Barman to another: I was looking forward to being miserable this weekend, but it seems to have turned out quite nicely.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Bartenders | Leisure | Other sites | Philosophy | Wishes | Posted 2011-07-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Doesn't That Make Me More Of a Lady?
Sewing machine shop customer #1: How often should I get my machine serviced?
Sewing machine shop customer #2: Gosh, I've never had my machine serviced!
Sewing machine shop owner: You are not a lady!
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Customers | Euphemisms | Gender issues | Other sites | Questions | Posted 2011-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The People Look Cold and Frothy.
Man in pub, to friend: Oh, they look nice! (pause) The beers, I mean, not the people.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Beauty | Drinking & drunks | Other sites | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Instead Of Silently Filming It, Like I Do Currently.
Guy to friend talking during movie: Dude, shut the fuck up! I'm gonna walk in while you're having sex and go, "aw, look, she's moaning!"
overheardattcnj.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Overheard at TCNJ
Categories: Feelings | Guys | Other sites | Sex | Threats | Posted 2011-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It May Sound Fishy, but She's Got All the Other Acts Schooled!
50-something woman to friend: She's got a phenomenal voice--when she sings, it's like she has gills instead of lungs.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Gossip | Other sites | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2011-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Wouldn't You Agree, Herb?
Wholefood store employee: I don't know, just when you think the world couldn't get any worse, suddenly there's a basil crisis.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
Categories: Employees | Other sites | Philosophy | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2011-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...If You Ever Want a Seat in the House Of Commons
Exasperated-sounding woman to small child: If you're not gonna cry properly, then don't cry at all.
Shout-out: www.violaraptor.co.uk
Overheard by: Raptor
As Seen in Little People, Big Bummer
Very tall boy on Taipei subway: You don't need to diet, you need to grow taller.
Very short girl: I would if I could.
Very tall boy: Do you want to go to the concert?
Very short girl: I don't go to concerts.
Very tall boy: Why not?
Very short girl: I can never see anything.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
Categories: Advice | Diet & weight | Girls | Guys | Other sites | Taiwan | Wishes | Posted 2010-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Still Doesn't Explain Yao Ming
Guy to friend: If one person is about 1.5 meters tall, two people would be three hundred meters.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
Categories: Friends | Guys | Other sites | Science | Stupidity | Posted 2010-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Besides, Greed Stains.
Woman #1 in central Taipei: When she went to the us, she took along several boxes of detergent, because she doesn't like the smell of American detergent.
Woman #2: Yeah, I wouldn't want to smell like an American either.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Categories: Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Health & Hygiene | Other sites | Sensory experiences | Taiwan | Weirdness | Wishes | Women | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Still Got All Muddy, But I Was Paid for It.
Office worker: Well, I almost went to Woodstock, but then an opportunity to make money came up.
Shout-out: evadne-noel.livejournal.com
Categories: Compare and contrast | Coworkers | Money | Music | Other sites | Posted 2009-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least She Correctly Identified Them As Birds.
High school girl, looking at seagulls feeding: That ain't crows, them are ducks!
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Categories: Birds | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Language barrier | Other sites | Students | Posted 2009-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fuck It, You Know What? I Did
Guy on cell: Did they sell their house? (pause) Ohhh, they couldn't sell the house! (pause) Yeah...that makes sense! Ain't nobody can't get credit now, ho! (pause) Wait, I didn't mean to call you a ho, grandma.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Default | Family ties | Guys | Insults | Other sites | Questions | Posted 2009-01-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Did You Bring Enough for Everyone?
Professor at anatomy lecture to student touching her own throat: Ivanova, what are you gonna be touching when I'm lecturing on the sex organs?
Shout-out: anekdot.mail.ru
Categories: Body parts | Default | Education | Other sites | Questions | Sex | Teachers | Posted 2009-01-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pussyfooting
Girl to friend: Is that why you were screaming? I knew it was more than just fingering!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Eavesdrop DC
Categories: Default | Feelings | Girls | Other sites | Sensory experiences | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In T9 for Two
Girl to friends in line for bathroom: That's going to be the next chapter of the book: Boys Who Text But Won't Have Sex!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Eavesdrop DC
Categories: Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Names | Other sites | Sex | Posted 2009-01-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Figure This One Out, Let Us Know
Tayal tribesman bus driver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am going to the dentist's.
Bus driver: What's wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you believe that? I'm 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus driver: If you're going to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch taken out.
Old man: That won't do, false teeth are expensive.
Bus driver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus driver (very earnestly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the lower jaw, and when they grow, they'll look great! (uses his fingers to demonstrate how the tusks would look growing out of his mouth)
Old man (laughing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus driver: Not long! You're an old boar, but I'm just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laughing cheerfully)
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan Dali
Categories: Age and ageing | Body parts | Bus | Bus drivers | Default | Guys | Happiness | Health & Hygiene | Old folks | Other sites | Questions | Posted 2009-01-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In This Month's Cosmo: "How to Get Guys to Watch Chick Flicks"
Girl: Yeah, but he has a really nice penis. I like to play with it while we watch movies.
overheardattcnj.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Overheard at TCNJ
Categories: Beauty | Compliments | Default | Girls | Movies | Other sites | Penis | Time Management | Posted 2008-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not the Worst Thing He Could Mean by "The Whacker"
Sunday school teacher (showing picture of Good Shepherd): Who can tell me who this is?
Kid: That's Jesus with the whacker!
Teacher (puzzled): You mean he takes the sheep out for a walk?
Kid (pointing to the shepherd's crook): No, when one of the sheep tries to get away from Jesus, he whacks them with it so they won't go!
Shout-out: overheardintheward.blogspot.com
Now I'm Working on a Novel About Them
Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.
Shout-out: talovich.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Yugan
Watch Her Do What, Exactly?
Man on cell: One needs to do two things: Read Tolstoy and watch Paris Hilton.
Shout-out: lefulelve.freeblog.hu
Categories: About celebrities | Advice | Books | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | On the phone | Other sites | Posted 2008-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Remembers Who Started It? The Important Thing Is We're Going to Finish It
Five-year-old boy walking past deli: Awww... Why do they have to kill chickens?
Seven-year-old sister: Because the chicken is the natural enemy of man.
Maryland
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
Categories: Animals | Other sites | Philosophy | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
