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I Don't Know-- Are You Thinking Of Asking Me to Prom?

Sane-looking girl: Okay, so let's say that your boyfriend died a while back, right? Then he comes back as a zombie, like a real walking corpse. But he doesn't want to eat your brains or anything, he just wants to graduate high school and be your boyfriend again so he can go to prom with you. So, do you take him back?
Boy: Um... Has this actually happened to you?

High School Cafeteria
West Virginia

Fair Enough

Guy: I was a dragon in my past life.
Girl: Did you have sex with other dragons?
Guy: Of course.

High School Gym
West Virginia


Overheard by: Kimber

No One Respects the President Anymore

Guy on headset: I'll talk to you later. I hope your speech impediment improves.

Vienna, West Virginia


Categories: Default | Education | Guys | Language barrier | West Virginia | Wishes | Posted 2009-01-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Like a Good-Karma Chameleon?

College guy #1: I can't believe I wasn't invited to the wedding.
College guy #2: Maybe if you'd eat another lizard.

Clancy's Irish Pub
Keyser, West Virginia


Overheard by: Millicent Bystander


Categories: Advice | Bars & Clubs | Default | Feelings | Food | Frat boy types | Guys | West Virginia | Posted 2008-11-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Can Always Play Canasta Again Later

Guy to friend returning from bathroom: (distraught) But I wanted to be the one to do it with you! I wanted to be the one to do it with you!

Gables Night Club
Inwood West Virginia


Overheard by: joanna


Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Feelings | Friends | Guys | Sexuality | West Virginia | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

What Happened to the Other.... Actually, I Don't Wanna Know

New homeowner: Did you ever find out what was causing that smell?
Worker: Yep.
New homeowner: What was it?
Worker: I'm not gonna tell ya.
New homeowner: Come on, what was it?
Worker, with a serious face and tone: You've got about four and a half to five opossums underneath your house.

Huntington, West Virginia

Overheard by: Jess

It's Directly Correlated with Whiteness, Except in New Jersey

College chick: You cannot do a scientific study to see which city is the least gangster!

Rally's
Charleston, West Virginia


Overheard by: gudo


Categories: Chicks | Gripes | West Virginia | Posted 2007-12-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You'll Love the Electric Highchair, Buddy

Happy dad to little kid: Capital punishment is fun!

Morgantown, West Virginia


Categories: Dads | Happiness | Lies | West Virginia | Posted 2007-12-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Gummed My Sausage

Old lady to old man, as breakfast is served: Today has been an interesting day. Somebody ate half my pancake!

Morgantown, West Virginia


Categories: Food | Old folks | West Virginia | Posted 2007-10-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Enough to Keep Me in Sneakers for Chasing Ambulances

Lawyer to another: So, how much do you charge for a malicious wounding?

Party
Charleston, West Virginia


Categories: Coworkers | Questions | West Virginia | Posted 2007-10-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And If You Do, Don't Follow Its Instructions

Five-year-old girl in stall: Mommy, there's lots of writing in here...
Mother in adjacent stall: Uh-huh... Don't read it...

Truck stop
Charleston, West Virginia


Categories: Advice | Kids | Moms | West Virginia | Posted 2007-10-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Characterized by Its Covalent Bonds and Little Pitchfork

Professor: Today we're going to be synthesizing a 6,6 nylon molecule. Who can tell me where the sixes come from?
Student: The devil!
Professor: Very good. Note the dreaded mark of the polymer beast.

Chemistry lab, Concord University
Athens, West Virginia


Overheard by: I'm also failing chemistry


Categories: Education | Teachers | West Virginia | Posted 2007-09-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook