Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
Washington All Categories > Places > North America > USA > Washington
Recent | Best Of
You Wouldn't Believe How Many Miles To The Baby My Truck Gets
Brunette: I use babies as a unit of measurement.
5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
He Dug the Mariana Trench With It, Baby Girl
(grandmother mumbles something unintelligible)
Young girl: Oh my god, grandma! I didn't want to hear how grandpa was hung like a whale!
Longview, Washington
Overheard by: CaerBear
Categories: Animals | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Girls | Memory lane | Washington | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Usually Have Pretty Cool Stereo Equipment
Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can't fuck'em, what's the point?
Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Mental illnesses | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | Washington | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Since the Gangbang
Woman: Wooo! It's wetter than a nymphomaniac in a gangbang out there.
Man: You've been waiting to say that for a long time, haven't you?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Questions | Sex | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the Sex and the City Cutting-Room Floor
Guy: So they said to her: "Carrie, you can't wear a head lamp! That's a really obvious sign!" And she said: "Yeah! Of adventure!"
Mukilteo Ferry, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Advice | Boat/Ferry | Compare and contrast | Default | Guys | Sexuality | Washington | Posted 2008-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Daphne, Velma and the Gang Were Really Up to in That Van
Kid with lisp: Let's investigate some underwear!
Fairwood, Washington
Overheard by: that won't be in the children's section...
The Reason Dirges Were Invented
Girl on cell: You know, like, I don't feel tired, but, like, I know in my heart that I'm tired. You know?
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | On the phone | Washington | Posted 2008-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cats Are Hypersensitive to Comma Faults
Boy: So why did you move here?
Girl: I was gonna go to art school and then I wrote this big essay and my cat shit on it.
Boy: Literally shit on it?
Girl: Yeah, I took it as a sign.
18 Bus
Seattle, Washington
But I Believe That's Your Nipple
Girl, looking down her shirt: I can't tell if that's pork or a hickey.
Friend: You're so awesome!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Muffler
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Default | Friends | Girls | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Is Hard To Come Across Jeans Already Faded
Guy watching Macy's commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman
Categories: Clothing | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Geography | Guys | Names | Pop culture | Questions | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"You're the Meanest Babysitter Ever!" She Screamed
Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there...
Bellevue, Washington
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Food | Hands | On the phone | Relationships | Sensory experiences | Suits | Washington | Posted 2008-05-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'd Be Wide Awake, but Our Cards Would Be Stained
Guy playing magic card game with a bunch of friends: All I'm saying is that somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a table producing coffee!
Clark College
Vancouver, Washington
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Philosophy | Technology | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Some Cultures, That's the Highest Compliment
Drunk girl yelling to bald guy from car window: You left your toupee in my vagina!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Paige & Liz
A Mom Can Dream, Can't She?
Angry mother on the bus: Come here and sit down!
Four-year-old: No, it's okay. I'm being good.
Angry mother: This bus is going to stop suddenly and you're going to fall down and crack your head open on one of the bars, and before the bus gets back around to the hospital you will bleed to death!
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: jeff
Categories: Advice | Bus | Death & dying | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Threats | Violence | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did That Come Out Of Me?
Woman in bathroom stall, on cell : ... That's just how it is... No, that's my pee you're hearing... Anyways, what did she say? Wait a second, I have to wipe...
Spokane Airport
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: wish i had held it...
Categories: Airports & flights | Etiquette | On the phone | Pee | Sensory experiences | Washington | Weirdness | Women | Words | Posted 2008-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Though I'm Still Working on Context
Girl walking with two guys: I'm going to teabag you! ...I'm so glad I know what that means now!
WSU
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Balls | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Happiness | Sex | Stupidity | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course My Anal Probes Are Constantly Interrupted by Ads
Freak in furry pants and top hat, to fellow freak: You're the friendster of alien abduction services, and I'm the myspace: You did it first, but I did it better.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: LeeKelly
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Guys | MySpace | Pride | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Isn't an All-Male Choir Kinda Gay?
Weird Asian guy: You've never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It's a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I've heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Guys | Orgasm | Singing | Washington | Weirdness | Whiteys | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Happy Birthday to You/ Don't Bend to Tie Your Shoe
Girl #1: Hanging out with him on his birthday was so much fun!
Girl #2: Oh, I heard about that! He went to jail, right?
Brooklyn Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Glad they're not my friends
And You're Not in a Relationship Just because She Says So
Meathead to another: Dude, are you in a relationship? 'Cause if you're not in a relationship, you don't have to call her ever. Do you hear me? Ever!
Safeway
Ellensburg, Washington
Categories: Advice | Default | Jocks | Questions | Relationships | Stores | Washington | Posted 2008-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gonna Work a Little Child-Support-Reducing Magic
Little boy: Daddy, how are we going to get down?
Father: Parachutes.
Top of Space Needle
Seattle, Washington
... Actually, Can I Just Get a Hot Chocolate?
Customer: I'd like some tea... Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um... Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That's the one I'll have.
Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Categories: Baristas | Colleges & Universities | Comebacks | Customers | Default | Drinking & drunks | Offers and requests | Washington | Posted 2008-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Turkey Exploded Through the Neighbor's Window Like a Mortar Round
20-ish girl, reminiscing: Yeah, one year we deep-fried a turkey... But then the driveway caught on fire.
Friend, laughing: What?! How?!
20-ish girl, distressed: I don't want to talk about it right now.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa Dietzel
If I Don't Keep at It, I'll Never Graduate to Snarling
Hobo #1, after growling at passenger: I had to growl at someone.
Hobo #2: Yup.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Default | Feelings | Hobos | Violence | Washington | Posted 2008-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
From the Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Cutting-Room Floor
Male neighbor: Hey, how ya doin'?
Female visitor: Not so good.
Male neighbor: What's wrong? Girl problems? Something with your hoochie-koochie?
Lake Tapps, Washington
Overheard by: baker98391
Categories: Default | Girls | Gripes | Guys | Questions | Relationships | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-03-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Roger Often Wonders If He Made the Right Choice Going Straight
Preggers snapping at hubby: He said they don't have it! That means they don't have it!
Husband, pushing cart with two-year-old in seat: Get over yourself, babe. We'll be in the car.
Two-year-old: Mama!
Husband, under his breath: Your mom better hurry up and have that kid, dude.
Fred Meyer
Issaquah, Washington
Overheard by: Bryan
Stupid Boomer -- Tricks Are for Kids!
Girl on phone: Ewww, Grandma is so gross. Remember that time she went to the doctor and found out she had chlamydia?
Seattle University
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: gross
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Family ties | Girls | Gripes | Health & Hygiene | On the phone | Washington | Posted 2008-03-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Megatron Is Totally My Ex-Girlfriend!
Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there's just so much symbolism in that movie -- take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He's, like, Everyman!
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: I never thought of it that way
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Guys | Movies | Students | Washington | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's What It Means to Be a Middle-Class American
Professor: It's like when you walk into a bathroom with a corpse in the tub and go, 'Wow, just look at that tile pattern!'
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Death & dying | Default | Teachers | Washington | Posted 2008-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Marriage Happens by Default in the Pacific Northwest
Girl on phone: So, we had this bet that if the Patriots won, we were going to break up, so we were both hoping for that. But that didn't happen, so now we're just kind of stuck together.
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Default | Girls | Gossip | Gripes | On the phone | Relationships | Washington | Posted 2008-02-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: I'm About to Start Crying
Jock #1: Dude, that bitch broke my heart.
Jock #2, eating a burrito: I know, man. You were always so unhappy, and I wanted to, like, slap you around and make you happy.
Jock #1, singing softly and staring blankly at the ground: I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you...
Jock #2: Look, man, we boys, aight? But when you start singing cheesy-ass love songs to a chick that cheated on you, gave you an STD, and shit on top of your car because she's crazier than a fucking monkey on crack with a banana up its ass, something's wrong with you, and maybe we shouldn't hang out anymore.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Sam
Categories: Advice | Default | Jocks | Relationships | Washington | Posted 2008-02-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Made My Last Payment
Hippie chick: I am the proud owner of an American vagina, thank you very much.
Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Hippies | Vagina | Washington | Posted 2008-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Straight Love Is So 20th Century
Guy on cell: Oh, for fuck's sake! Is it a lesbian wedding? ... Is it a lesbian wedding? Then fuck it!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mephisto
Categories: Gripes | On the phone | Sexuality | Washington | Posted 2008-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Look, Just Pay the Damn Taxes, Artie
White guy trailing fast-walking lady: So, do you know of any doomsday machines?
Bus stop, Pine and 3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Andy Christ
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Questions | Washington | Posted 2008-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Were Supposed to Do That Together
Teen hipster on cell: Mom... Mom! I still have the 10 bucks. I did not spend it on drugs... I did not spend it on drugs!
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: mightbekatrina
Categories: Drugs | Hipsters | Money | Washington | Posted 2008-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weird Is Weird, Gay Is Gay
Guy: No, Derek* is definitely gay.
Girl #1: No, he's not! He has naked pictures of girls all over his walls and MySpace and everything.
Girl #2: So? You know he only has those because he likes to paint chickens on them!
Seattle, Washington
If the Universe Doesn't Get You First
Math professor: Now, if there's one thing you can't do in Mathland, it's divide by zero. If you divide by zero, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.
Bellevue Community College
Washington
Overheard by: The Kid
Categories: Education | Teachers | Threats | Washington | Posted 2008-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Was the Last Time You Got 20 Years for Jaywalking?
Guy: Statutory rape is the jaywalking of sex crimes!
Interbay Golf
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Crimes | Guys | Washington | Posted 2008-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Content to Be Her Booty-Call Beneficiary
Dude to friend: ... And then she asked me, 'Where do you think this relationship is going?' Fuck! She calls me when she's drunk, and I leave the door unlocked for her... This situation is working out well for me -- that's where this relationship is going.
Museum of Flight
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Guys | Relationships | Washington | Posted 2008-01-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Was Your First Mistake
Mother to misbehaving five-year-old: Knock it off! I just got you a pedicure!
Forever 21
Lynnwood, Washington