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And Who You Callin' a Dias?
Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We're black. He knows English.
Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah
It's Also a Bathroom of a Sort
Girl: Can you tell me where the bathroom is?
Woman: Yeah, it's at the end of this hallway. Just don't look in the cage there.
Highland, Utah
Overheard by: A tiny bit worried...!
To Stand Out from Your Husband's Other Wives
Mother: That dress is cheap -- cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother's freezer.
Daughter: It's prom. You're supposed to look cheap.
Salt Lake City, Utah
The Answer Was Both Better and Worse Than They Anticipated
Coworker #1: I don't even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don't, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.
Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: also interested
I'm Pretty Sure Bill O'Reilly Claims To
Little girl: Mom, why isn't my last name 'Christ'? Why doesn't everyone have the last name 'Christ'?
Hill Air Force Base
Utah
Overheard by: Wasn't his middle name H?
From Back When I Was Still Cool
Student: What does 'STP' stand for?
Teacher: 'Standard temperature and pressure.' Also, 'Stone Temple Pilots.'
Chemistry class
Provo, Utah
They Were Praying.
Bimbette #1: Why would anyone even be outside that late? What the hell were they doing?
Bimbette #2: Uh, Erica, we were outside, too.
Bimbette #1: Well, we had an excuse! We were streaking!
Park City, Utah
Whatever Would Assure You I'm Not a Stalker
Girl on date: That's what I don't understand about dating -- if I really like someone, I'm not going to wait to call them. Like, I would totally call you tomorrow.
Boy on date: [Silence.]
Girl on date: Or, you know, whenever...
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Andrea P.
Categories: Chicks | Philosophy | Utah | Posted 2007-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Have Our Orgies through Holes in a Sheet
Mormon girl #1: I totally can't believe we just did that. I love it.
Mormon girl #2: We're so scandalous.
Mormon girl #1: Well... We're scandalous in an appropriate way.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: jules
The Latter-Day Shit Just Doesn't Cut It
Mormon guy: Some of my fondest childhood memories are of my dad beating the shit out of people.
Salt Lake City Airport
Utah
Overheard by: PartyByNight
Categories: Guys | Memory lane | Utah | Posted 2007-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All You Gaywads Must Be Jealous
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
He Kinda Dropped the Ball with That Asteroid Thing, Though
Man: Man, I'd like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.
Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah
Overheard by: Iain
I Seem to Be Retaining Coors
Guy: Dude, that is your belly.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Categories: Body parts | Frat boy types | Jocks | North America | Overheard in Utah | Stomach | USA | Utah | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Did a Little Patting, and Only on the Topside
Man on cell: They said I sexually molested the cat... I would never do that! I love that cat!
Utah
Categories: Animals | Gossip | On the phone | Utah | Posted 2007-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haha, Sucker
Mom: You better put that jacket on.
Little boy: No!
Mom: You better put that jacket on or you are going to get sick and then when Santa comes you will get him sick and then there will be no Christmas because you got him too sick to work and all the little boys and girls in the world will hate you. [Little boy puts jacket on.]
Utah
Overheard by: Bryn
Categories: Moms | Santa Claus | Threats | Utah | Posted 2007-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
